In Dreams Forgotten

by Tracie Peterson

  “Pastor Fisher said that we all have our crosses to bear, but we shouldn’t think we bear them alone. He promised to speak more about it as we drew nearer to Easter. I’m looking forward to hearing what he has to say. It all seems so amazing.” She realized her tone had become excited. She forced herself to calm down by gazing at the fire. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to gush. I just got a little carried away.” She paused again and shook her head. “That probably sounds funny to you, since you grew up with such teachings and know all about these things.”

  “Not at all. I’m humbled by your enthusiasm. You make me consider the world and the hearts of men through other eyes.”

  “Until I came here, I felt something missing in my life.” Judith kept her gaze on the flames. “I always thought it was the lack of siblings or grandparents. Even though I knew very little about such relationships, I had heard stories. One of my father’s hired men came from a family with twelve brothers and sisters. He used to tell me all about things they did and how they never felt lonely because they were never alone.” She smiled and shrugged. “While I, on the other hand, always felt lonely, because I was always alone. But when Camri told me about God and then took me to church, I felt like I was suddenly let in on a secret. The more I learned, the less I felt alone, and when Pastor Fisher asked if anyone wanted to know Jesus as their own Savior, I nearly jumped over the pew.”

  Caleb chuckled, and it eased her nervousness. “I would have liked to see that.”

  “I thought it was so amazing that God sent Jesus to die for me. Why should God even care about some poor girl from Colorado? Why should He have even noticed my being here? But Pastor Fisher said God had even numbered the hairs on my head—that He had put me together in my mother—that He knew each intimate detail of my being. Isn’t that marvelous?” She didn’t try to hide the wonder in her voice.

  “It is marvelous. I think, in fact, that in my disappointment, I have forgotten just how marvelous.”

  “Well, maybe not forgotten, but perhaps it’s just become common to you. After all, you’ve known about it a lot longer than I have. I just hope that I can learn more and more.”

  “I suppose it’s hard for me to understand a heart that rejects God.” Caleb said nothing for a moment, then continued. “Maybe I wouldn’t make a good preacher after all. I attended theological training along with learning the law. I know the Bible, but perhaps that isn’t enough. You see, I grew up with people of faith, and to me it seems the most natural thing in the world to turn to God. Especially in times of need.” His expression seemed almost pained.

  “But not everyone grows up that way, Caleb. Some people learn to rely on themselves when needs arise.”

  “I can’t imagine that. Was that how it was for you?” He still seemed genuinely interested, and it touched Judith in a way nothing else could.

  “I was taught I only had myself to depend on. I remember when I was just six years old, I encountered a rattlesnake. I screamed in terror. My mother, on the other hand, picked up a hoe and chopped off the snake’s head. She then reprimanded me for screaming and told me it served no purpose and that I needed to learn that the only person I could count on saving me . . . was me. After all, she might not be there next time.”

  “That’s terrible.”

  “At the time I thought her the bravest person in the world, and I vowed to be just like her and fear nothing. Although, later she told me she had her own fears . . . she just never gave in to them.”

  “So she died still not believing in God?”

  “I honestly don’t know what she believed. I mean, we said grace over the meal.” Judith shrugged. “So my parents must have believed that God existed, but nothing much was ever said about Him. I grew up without any real understanding or knowledge of God.”

  “I’m sorry, Judith. I didn’t know, but now that I do, I promise I will endeavor to do whatever I can to help you in your study of Him.”

  She felt her chest tighten. He was so near . . . so wonderfully near. She looked down at the beautiful rug, trying to calm her nerves. “Thank—thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, although I hardly deserve any thanks. I should have paid more attention. But there is one matter on which I’ve improved. I spoke to Judge Winters today about finding your aunt.”

  Judith’s head snapped up. “You did?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry it took me so long to do so.”

  She forgot all about her weeks of frustration. “Did you learn anything?”

  “I’m not sure. I have a lead, but I don’t want to say anything until I know something more certain. Will you trust me to see it through this time?”

  She nodded. “I would trust you with anything, Caleb.”

  He beamed at her. “Then I will learn what I can and tell you as soon as I know something certain. You can count on me. I won’t put the matter aside until we find out the truth.”

  Judith felt overcome with love for him. He had no idea of her thoughts or how he made her feel, but it didn’t matter. Caleb Coulter was the man her heart had chosen, and whether anything ever came of it, nothing would alter her feelings for him.

  CHAPTER

  6

  Kenzie Gifford sat at the table, helping Mrs. Wong and Liling with the kerosene lamps. Despite having electricity, the lamps were still used often, and as such, needed cleaning. Mrs. Wong hadn’t been comfortable when Kenzie offered her help. She was the housekeeper, and to have one of the ladies she cared for helping clean lamps didn’t make sense. However, with Liling’s help, Kenzie finally managed to help her understand the situation.

  Earlier that morning, Caleb had dropped the girls off to shop for wedding gowns on his way to view the new property everyone agreed should be purchased to house displaced women and children.

  Kenzie had tried to get caught up in Camri’s excitement about her wedding, but found it impossible. After just a few shops, Kenzie thought she might burst into tears and suffer a complete collapse. Arthur’s betrayal and abandonment on their wedding day was a wound that never seemed to heal. She finally told her friends that she wasn’t feeling up to the ordeal and took the cable car home.

  Upon arriving at the house, however, Kenzie learned that Dr. Micah Fisher was coming to play chess with Caleb later that morning. If she remained at home and Micah knew she was there, he would insist on speaking with her unless she was otherwise occupied. So she immediately set out to be exactly that.

  Mrs. Wong had refused to order Kenzie to any particular task. She told Kenzie to do whatever she felt like. Having had her share of experience cleaning lamp chimneys, Kenzie grabbed an apron and set to work.

  After a while, the doorbell rang, and Mrs. Wong went upstairs to answer it. Kenzie found herself straining to hear if it was Micah, but being downstairs in the Wong’s section of the house made it difficult.

  Finally, Mrs. Wong returned and sat back down at the table. “Mr. Micah here now.”

  Kenzie nodded. “And you said nothing to him about my being here?”

  “I tell him nothing. You safe.” The housekeeper smiled in a conspiratorial manner.

  Liling sat across the table, trimming lamp wicks. The petite woman’s trials in the past kept her somber, but there was a contentment about her even in doing this menial task. Freedom had ways of putting even the most damaged soul at rest. Just a few months ago, Malcolm Daniels, the same man who had arranged for Caleb to be shanghaied, had held Liling prisoner in his dance hall brothel. He had won her in a game or bought her, Kenzie couldn’t recall which. Not that it mattered. She had been a prisoner nevertheless and forced to live the life of a prostitute. Her parents had despaired of ever seeing her again, but thanks to Caleb and Patrick Murdock, she had been rescued and was here now.

  Kenzie took up a piece of newspaper and crushed it into a ball just as Mrs. Wong had shown her. The paper did an amazing job of removing soot from the glass. Back home, Kenzie would have soaked the chimneys in soapy water and then scrubbed them. Her parents hadn’t
been eager to get their home electrified. Neither the risk nor the cost enticed them to modernize. She would have to write to her mother about the newspaper trick.

  “You take clean lamps to bedrooms,” Mrs. Wong instructed Liling. “They ready.”

  Liling was only two years younger than Kenzie, but it looked like they were separated by a half dozen or more. She was slim and petite with huge dark eyes and jet black hair. Kenzie thought at first that Liling would be fragile—even sickly from all that she’d endured—but surprisingly she was strong, even fierce in nature. Perhaps her years of torment had grown in her a strength that could only come through adversity.

  “Be sure put them in correct room,” Mrs. Wong admonished.

  “Mama, I know where to take the lamps. You don’t have to worry.” Liling gathered up three lamps and cradled them to her breast. “I’ll be very fast.”

  “Fast not as important as doing it right,” her mother countered.

  Kenzie couldn’t help but smile. She’d heard similar things all of her life from her own mother. In fact, at times like this, she really missed her mother.

  “You don’t have to keep working,” Mrs. Wong said.

  “I know.” Kenzie pushed the newspaper wad into the chimney from the bottom. Thankfully her hands were small enough to fit through the opening of the glass. “But I want to. It keeps me occupied.”

  “You want tea?”

  “Tea would be very nice.” Kenzie was starting to get hungry, and Mrs. Wong always served cakes or cookies with her tea.

  She turned her attention back to the lamp. She was pressing the paper against the glass to clear away the smudgy soot when without warning it shattered. She let out a yelp of pain as a piece of glass sliced through her fingers.

  “You hurt!” Mrs. Wong said, coming to her side. “You bleeding.”

  Kenzie felt her head swim at the sight of her own blood pooling on the table. “Oh, dear.”

  Mrs. Wong helped Kenzie get the ring of remaining glass off her wrist. Next she grabbed a clean towel and handed it to Kenzie. “For your hand. I get water to clean.”

  Kenzie took the towel, but for some reason she couldn’t figure out what she was supposed to do. She looked at her fingers and saw the blood continuing to flow. She felt her head grow hot. What was wrong with her? Why was there so much blood?

  “That was an amateur choice, Micah,” Caleb teased. “I’ll have your queen in two more moves.” He slid his bishop into place.

  “I guess my mind isn’t on the game.” Micah leaned back and shrugged. “What can I say?”

  “I don’t suppose our resident redhead has anything to do with it?”

  “She vexes me, I won’t lie.” Micah studied the chess board. “There’s just something about her that intrigues me.”

  Caleb chuckled. “Maybe because she says no to your advances. That’s got to be a first.”

  Micah looked up and shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a dashingly handsome man.” He grinned. “Maybe Kenzie needs an eye examination.”

  “Well, you are a doctor.”

  Micah started to move one of his pawns, then shook his head. “You’re right. I’ve made a mess of this game, and no matter what I do now, it’s yours to win.” He leaned back in his chair. “Want to start another?”

  “Not if you’re not going to pay any more attention than you did to this one.” Caleb too eased back. “You should just surprise her. Bring her flowers or take her on a picnic.”

  “Ha! She’d throw the flowers in my face and refuse to even speak to me. I’d have to tie her up to get her to go anywhere with me. Maybe if you were to invite Judith for an outing and then suggest Kenzie come along for the sake of propriety, I could just happen to join you somewhere and make it a foursome.”

  Caleb looked at him thoughtfully. “Judith is a very nice young woman. Terribly young, I suppose.”

  “She’s twenty-four. I heard her tell Camri that much.”

  “Twenty-four, eh?” Caleb nodded. “Not as bad as I figured.”

  “Sounds like you’ve given this some thought.” Micah could see he’d hit upon the truth. “So why do you feel she’s a ‘very nice young woman’?” He held up his hands at Caleb’s frown. “Not that I don’t think the same, but this is something more personal. I can tell.”

  “I can’t really say what I feel. I know I feel sorry for her. She wants so much to know who her family is and why her mother lied.” He shrugged. “Honestly, my mind has been going in so many different directions. I’m still trying to work through this mess related to Ruef. Oh, and we finally found my ledger.”

  “Oh, really? Where?”

  “It was in Henry’s office. I was certain it had been taken by his murderer, but bless Henry, he had the foresight to act quickly after Patrick warned him. He tucked the ledger in between some law books. The covers were very similar, so we didn’t realize what it was until we opened it.”

  “I’m sure that will be helpful to your case.”

  Caleb nodded. “It will be. There all sorts of names and dates—amounts of money given and so forth. That combined with the papers Patrick managed to take from Ruef’s house will be solid evidence against the graft going on. Then this morning I finalized an agreement to purchase an old warehouse on the bay. We’re going to turn it into a place of temporary lodging and education for women and children. Given all that’s happening with Langdon cleaning up vice in this town, there will no doubt be a great many women in need of help.”

  “No doubt.” Micah smiled. “Let me know what I can do.”

  “Your skills as a physician will definitely be needed.”

  “I pledge to do what I can. However, in turn, maybe you can help me figure out how to get Kenzie to see me as something other than her enemy.”

  “I hardly think she sees you as an—”

  “Dr. Micah! Dr. Micah!” Liling cried out at the top of her lungs. She burst into Caleb’s study, white-faced. “You have to come to the kitchen. Miss Kenzie’s cut her hand, and she’s bleeding!”

  Micah shot up from his seat. “Liling, go to my car and fetch my bag. Hurry.”

  He raced down the back stairs and into the kitchen. Mrs. Wong was frantically cleaning blood from the table, and Kenzie sat pale-faced and silent. Her right hand was wrapped in a towel and clutched to her breast, but even so, Micah could see blood coming through the layers.

  “She cut her fingers when glass break.” Mrs. Wong pointed to the pieces of broken glass she’d put on the counter. “I clean it up so you can help her.”

  He reached for Kenzie’s hand. “Kenzie, let me see how bad it is.”

  “It’s fine,” she barely whispered.

  Micah had seen patients in shock and knew Kenzie was not faring well. “Mrs. Wong, I need the table.” He didn’t wait another moment but swept Kenzie into his arms and laid her on the table. He thought she might fight him, and when she didn’t, he knew it wasn’t a good sign.

  Liling burst into the room and held up his black medical bag.

  “Bring it here,” he instructed, pulling off his coat. “Mrs. Wong, bring me some hot water.”

  “I have some brandy upstairs,” Caleb called from the doorway.

  Micah hadn’t even realized Caleb had followed him downstairs. “Good. Bring it. I can use it to sterilize. And she might need some before this is over.” He had all sorts of fears about what he’d find when he uncovered the wrapping on her hands.

  Mrs. Wong produced a basin of hot water, then fetched towels and soap. By the time she brought those to the table, Micah had already rolled up his sleeves, taken several things from his bag, and was ready to wash his hands.

  Kenzie lay on her back, pale and silent. She stared up at the ceiling, but Micah wasn’t sure she was actually seeing anything.

  “Liling, get some pillows and put them under her feet to raise her legs,” he ordered.

  The petite woman disappeared from the room and was back in a flash. Her mother helped her position the plump pillows un
der Kenzie’s limbs. Once this was done, they stood back, awaiting instruction.

  Micah washed up quickly, then motioned Mrs. Wong to hand him a towel. She quickly complied just as Caleb returned with the brandy. After drying, Micah reached for Kenzie’s hand. She refused to let him pull the towel away.

  “Kenzie, you mustn’t fight me on this. I need to stitch you up.”

  She frowned, as if trying to make sense of his words, then relaxed her hold. Micah unwrapped the towel and found that she had deep slices in two fingers. Her ring finger was the worst. It was cut to the bone.

  Kenzie looked at him and caught sight of her hand. “Oh, dear,” she whispered and turned away.

  Micah ignored the urge to offer her comfort. He could do that later. “Liling, quickly wash your hands, and then I want you to sit here, close beside me, and hold pressure on the little finger to stop the bleeding while I work on her ring finger. It’s going to be an awkward fit, but I think we can manage because you’re so small.”

  The young woman gave a nod and went to the basin. She lathered up her hands, then rinsed as her mother poured fresh water over them. Once this was done, Liling didn’t even bother to dry her hands, but slid into place by Micah.

  “Good, now take a clean towel and drape it across her hand and first three fingers, then under the ring finger and over the little one.” He waited as Liling maneuvered the towel into place, then gave a nod. “Good. Now clasp her finger with the towel and pinch the cut together.”

  Again he waited while Liling complied. Once she was situated, he let go of his hold on Kenzie’s ring finger and went to work.

  The cut, though deep, was clean and smooth. He washed out the wound, which had slowed in its flow. The action stirred up the bleeding again, but it couldn’t be helped.

  “Caleb, pour some brandy over her finger.” He waited while Caleb did exactly that. Kenzie winced, but didn’t move. “Now, Liling, I need you to keep holding the little finger, but also to pinch closed the ring finger while I thread my needle.”

  Liling easily accomplished this.