Delaney grabbed me by the neck, sending me crashing on top of her. Her hands roamed my back, rubbing, gripping, scratching through the fabric. She had fire coursing through her; I’d never been so sensitive to a woman’s touch before. This is what it was like when it meant something. Not a meaningless fuck with a girl I’d forget in the morning. This time I’d wake up and do it all over again. Hopefully forever. It put my mind at peace.
“Thank you,” I said, barely able to stop kissing her long enough to speak. “For taking a chance on me when everyone warned you away. You didn’t listen to that shit. You have no idea what that means to me.”
She rested her fingers against my mouth. It could’ve meant a million different things. I couldn’t think straight right now. I licked them, sucking her fingers into my mouth, swirling my tongue around them. She moved them back and forth, exploring me, speaking a language that only the two of us shared.
Fuck everyone else. Seriously. All that mattered was this girl lying under me.
Delaney gasped when my hands slid up under her shirt.
“Are you okay with this?” I asked. She was velvet soft against my rough fingers. If she told me to stop it would wreck me, but I’d do it.
Instead she pulled her shirt up over her head. A thin sports bra was all that remained between us, her pebbled nipples strained against the fabric. Slow and steady. That’s what she needed. Not the million miles an hour we’d been moving. I needed to stop time. Later. I brought my mouth down on the fabric, taking her breast in my mouth, licking and teasing, but not quite touching. Her breath stuttered, bare tummy rising and falling with each stroke.
Her breath became frantic when I pushed the bra up, exposing her tits. They weren’t big but they were perfect. Almost. A collection of scars marred her ribcage. Slashes. Someone had cut her with a knife. I pulled her closer, pissed off at myself that I had no idea that somewhere in time, some asshole treated her like a punching bag. I kissed the thin white line below her breast, dragging my hair across them before taking the peaks in my mouth. Delaney’s back curled up off the bed, her mouth opening in an O. I wanted her to cry out, and for fuck’s sake, she would. I wouldn’t deny her a single drop of pleasure.
Her hands said everything she couldn’t. She knotted her fingers in my hair, mashing me against her body, pulling me away when she needed a breather, then pushing me down to her belly. The scent of her arousal snapped my animal awake. I needed to be inside her.
I was losing my mind, going this slowly. I couldn’t slam into her like my body was begging me to. This had to be more pleasure than pain. This was all new for me, too, caring about someone more than myself. I wanted her happiness more than anything else on earth.
“I’m afraid I’m going to crush you,” I whispered against Delaney’s cheek. I had to kiss her again, absorb the feeling of her bare skin against mine. She shook her head, curling her fingers in my hair and pulling me in closer than I thought was possible. We could combust any second. I ran my hand up her ribcage, settling on her breast. Her heart pounded underneath my touch. I circled her nipple with my thumb and forefinger, and she cried out against my mouth when I pinched it.
“Oooh. I like that. Don’t hold anything back, angel. It’s just you and me. Nothing exists outside this room.”
Delaney was full of surprises. She let go of my hair, her hands wandering over my bare back. At first her touch was so light it tickled, but she got bolder, grabbing me when the next kiss got too intense, and her fingernails left trails in my skin when I moved down to her chest.
I kissed a line down her stomach. It rose and fell like ocean waves during a violent storm. Shit, she was terrified. Maybe I read this wrong. I rolled off her, leaning against the wall. I tipped my head back, trying to catch my breath.
Delaney hadn’t moved. She lay unblinking on the bed, her eyes glassy and her mouth open. Her tummy gave away all her secrets, the storm had yet to quiet. I jumped up, tearing open a drawer and looking for any paper. I found some old legal papers, probably from the last time I was on probation. I smoothed it out and lay it beside her on the bed with a pen.
“You have to tell me what you’re thinking right now. I want you more than I want to breathe, but not unless you want the same thing. No matter how you have to tell me, you always have a voice with me. If you want me to strip you down and kiss every inch of your body, that’s what I’m going to do. But if not, I’ll stop. You know I’m not romantic.” I took a deep breath. “Now I know why wolves mate for life. I never knew before I met you.”
I pushed the paper toward her. She rolled over on her stomach, picking up the pen without any hesitation.
You accepted me just how I am. I’m sick of being different and you don’t treat me like that. Usually I crawl back into my shell, the cage I build for myself, because if I don’t try anything, I can’t get hurt. With you I feel safe.
We’re not that different. People make assumptions about you too. And they’re wrong. I think that’s why we feel this way about each other. Or I feel this way about you. I know we just met each other, but all I can think about is you. That’s got to mean something, right?
I’m not a doll. I won’t break. I’ve already been broken. You put me back together.
I read the note twice. The words danced on the page and I had to make sure I was reading them right. “I won’t make any guarantees. But I can tell you this won’t be the best sex ever, because every time after this will get better and better. If that’s what you want.”
Delaney sat up. Her hair was wild from our kiss, her nipples upturned like they’d finally found the sun. I was lost in her vortex. She hooked her fingers in the waistband of my jeans, catching me completely off-guard when she pulled me in for another kiss. She trembled under my touch, but at least now I knew with absolutely certainty what she wanted. And if it wasn’t clear before, there was no mistaking her intentions when she unbuckled my belt and lowered my fly.
Holy fuck. I felt like I was the virgin. I pushed my jeans away, no need to tease. I wasn’t going to last long. Delaney gasped when she saw my cock, then again when I pulled her pants down her legs. She unhooked them from her feet, unable to meet my eyes.
It took every drop of my being to not take her right then.
“You’re beautiful.” I tipped her face up to mine. “And I’m psyched to be your first. Now I get to show you everything.”
Some of the fear faded from her eyes, replaced with excitement. I took her hand in mine, placing it on my shaft. I almost came as soon as she wrapped her fingers around it. We moved up and down together. She didn’t need much instruction, and I let go, letting her explore on her own. “What you’re doing feels so fucking good. I’m sensitive right under the tip. Fuck yes, there, and my balls. Don’t be shy. Explore all you want. You’re going to know my body better than I do by the end the night.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Her skin was flushed, her eyes on fire. She rolled her thumb over the tip of my cock, and the sensation rollicked through my body like an electric shock. She giggled, her gaze meeting mine before she lowered her lips down. She kissed the tip before taking me in her mouth.
This was it, the end. The electricity shot through my body and this sweet little angel was going to kill me with her lips on my dick. She was pure velvet heat, sucking my shaft. It wasn’t perfect, but that was what made it so fucking good. She let herself be free, and I wasn’t sure which one of us was more animal.
I pulled her away from me, smothering her mouth in a kiss. This time she tasted salty and sweet and I couldn’t get enough of her. “I’m going to do this backwards.” I panted against her shoulder, flipping on her back. “I need to fuck you now, then I can go slow. But you’re making me lose my mind.”
Her hips moved wildly underneath me. I pushed her legs apart, angling my shaft to enter her. She cried out as I slipped inside. Shit. I was hurting her. “We’re going to fit together. Trust me.” She nodded, accepting my kiss. Inch by inch I crawled inside her.<
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Now I knew what home felt like. How it felt to be inside another person, really inside them. Their heart and their soul. I’d be nothing without this woman. I slid back slowly, doing my best to control my rhythm. She was tiny and tight. She felt fucking amazing, but I wanted this to be good for her.
Delaney hooked her ankles around me, riding my thrusts. Her head fell back, little cries escaping from those sweet lips.
“Louder,” I groaned. “Don’t hold back.”
She let out a holler, much louder than I expected.
“Feel good?” I asked.
Her eyes were on fire.
“Do it again.”
She grunted a couple times, digging her fingernails into my shoulders, ripping my skin. It was my turn to howl. She cried out one more time, her body freezing mid thrust. I rode her orgasm, not far behind her. I pulled out. I couldn’t get her pregnant, under any circumstances. I’d been stupid and greedy, but I had to feel all of her.
Delaney hadn’t caught her breath yet, but I wasn’t done with her. Her legs were still wrapped around me. I kissed her lips, pushing her damp curls away from her face. “How are you feeling, angel?” I asked.
She nodded, smiling between labored breaths.
“Next time we do this, I want you to tell me exactly what you want me to do to you. But I have to make sure you know all your options.”
She narrowed her eyes, confused, but there was only one answer to give her. I kissed a line down her body until I landed on her clit. Her hips bucked when my lips caught the sensitive nub, licking her and sucking until I found the spot that made her lose control. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my life. I was drunk of the taste of her; even her come was sweet. I hooked her legs over my shoulders, settling in so I could get her off just like this.
It didn’t take long. I didn’t know what the fuck to do, to keep sucking on her clit or to watch her face when she came.
I crawled up her body as the storm passed, kissing everywhere on her face, picking up her glasses because I needed all of her. She laughed, straining to catch me in the kiss.
“Shh,” she said. Every time she made a noise I wanted to jump for joy, but that was the last thing she needed me to do.
“Don’t worry about Major and Cass.” I pulled her in closer to me. “Those two make so much fucking noise, they have no place to bitch about us. I’ll get you a megaphone if they do.”
“A,” she added, her whole body glowing. She put her fingers over my mouth. “Shea.”
Holy fucking shit. Of all the things to blow my fucking mind, it was that one little word coming off her sweet lips. She said my name. I was crazy about her, but now I knew it was way more than that.
I was in love with her.
I kissed her. It took everything she had to say that. “Thank you. For everything.”
She shook her head, bringing her fingers up to her lips, making the sign for thank you, then pressed her fingers against my lips.
And to think, it was just going to get better.
TEN
Delaney
They say that pain is weakness leaving the body. All my weakness had been beaten out of me. It had been a game to my family, dragging me out of the crate and beating the crap out of me before forcing me to eat. I still didn’t have much of an appetite--I associated one with the other, and the metallic memory of a bloody mouth could ruin the best meal.
I was sore this morning, but it didn’t have anything to do with weakness or losing anything. I’d gained a bunch of things I wasn’t familiar with: adoration, respect, and love. Whether Shea felt the same way about me or not, I’d always cherish those things. Not just last night, which was incredible. He’d come to me without judgment and made me feel like I belonged somewhere. He pushed me clear past my limits. It should’ve terrified me, but instead I wanted to make him proud of me. Show him what I could do.
I said his name.
Everyone around me talked all the time, said things they didn’t mean, just to say them. I hadn’t uttered a word since I was seven years old. Taking my clothes off and giving Shea my body wasn’t half as scary as saying that one little word. When other people said it, it sounded beautiful. When I said it, it sounded all wrong. My heart pounded. He could’ve laughed at me. Maybe he liked me better quiet. Instead I was rewarded with kisses; soft, lazy ones as we fell asleep with our limbs tangled together. It was Heaven.
“Shit,” Shea muttered, slamming his hand over his phone to quiet the alarm. His lips found mine in the dark and we picked up where we left off. I loved the way his body felt, bare, moving against mine. I rocked my hips against him, and he moaned. His fingers slipped down between my legs, working the spot that sent me over the edge last night. He slipped inside me, moving his fingers back and forth. I cried out against his lips.
“We gotta get a lock on the door.” Shea’s fingers came to a rest, still inside me. “Emma will be in here any second looking for cereal. I don’t feel like explaining to her why we’re naked. You know she’ll ask.”
I wanted to lay there forever. The only thing that got me out of bed was knowing that my reward for the day was climbing back into it with him.
“Why’s everyone so quiet?” Emma asked over breakfast.
I’d been wondering the same thing. Cass gave me a sleepy, knowing smile. She had to have heard us last night, their bedroom was right next to Shea’s. My cheeks burned but I didn’t hide. I smiled back. Major and X glanced at each other, and uneasiness hung between them.
“I got a call from Jacques last night,” X finally said. “You were, uh…busy when I got off the phone. He’s got another fight lined up. The twenty-third.”
“That’s awfully close to the full moon,” Cass said.
“And Christmas!” Emma added.
“It’s another wolf.” X grabbed his coffee cup and got up, pacing. “From Montana. They’re having the same problem we are, losing forest. But no one local wants to fight this guy. Jacques thinks you’re the only one who can give him a fair match.”
Even though Shea had told me about the absolute worst of him, the fighting, and the killing, it was like he was talking about another person. The Shea I knew was kind and gentle. I gripped his leg under the table, making sure my Shea was still with me.
“I don’t know, man.” Shea put his hand over mine. “We’ve got the party the next day. I’m sick of Jacques treating me like his prized bull.”
Major scoffed. “When have you said no to a fight? Or money?”
“Jacques said twelve hundred. He pulled in way more than he expected to last month.” X leaned against the counter, frowning. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to encourage his brother or talk him out of it.
“Then he should give me some of that take. I earned it. He didn’t walk out of there with bloody knuckles or bruised ribs. Two thousand.” Shea’s body tensed. “You know the reality is I’ll beat down anyone he puts in the ring with me. They might be stronger than me, or quicker than me, but none of them are crazier.”
I pulled my hand away from him so hard I knocked the spoon out of my cereal bowl. Emma and Cass gasped.
“You’re scaring Delaney.” Cass came over to me, but I shied away from her. I wasn’t used to being mothered. “You knew about the fights, right? He told you?”
I nodded. My eyes burned, but I wasn’t going to cry. I shouldn’t have trusted Shea so soon. I’d wanted to believe there was more to him than he let everyone see. But I forgot there was more to him than he let me see.
“You don’t have to come, angel.” Shea reached for me but I shrank back, bumping into Cass. She took the chance to put her arm around me. “It doesn’t have to be a part of our world.”
“Bullshit.” Major slammed his hand on the table. Cass pulled me in tighter. “If you want to take her as a mate, she needs to be with all of you. Even the parts you’re ashamed of. It’s bad enough you can’t have any kids. You lie to her, its weakness. It will tear the two of you to shreds.”
“Delaney can kiss it and make it better,” X suggested, and we all glared at him. “Sorry, it’s pretty hard to sleep when you’re living on the Love Boat.”
“You’ll never stop fighting because you’ll never stop being a fuck up. What are you going to do, without a way to release all that aggression that’s always boiling inside you? You’ll get in a fight and get yourself fired. Or worse.” Major growled, throwing a glance in my direction. He looked like a wolf. Now I was glad Cass was holding me; I wanted to pass out. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
Shea pushed his chair back so hard it hit the cabinet. “We’ve got to get to work.” He held his hand out to me. I couldn’t move. “Come on, angel. It’s my job. Just like going to the farm. We’ve all got to do what we need to get by.”
I took his hand because I wanted to give the Shea I’d fallen for power over the hint of a monster that had come out over breakfast. I wanted my version of the story to win over whatever Major was accusing him of and Cass thought she needed to protect me from.
The silence stole the oxygen from the truck as X drove us to work. He’d tried to make a couple of jokes, but Shea growled at him.
My hand shook as I wrote and the bumpy dirt road did me no favors. I liked the way the letters looked. Frantic, just like I felt. Like they wanted to run off the page. Is it all just a job to you?
Shea balled his fist against the window when he read it. “No.” The word was clipped. “Forever Home wasn’t my first choice. It was the only option. If Trina wasn’t desperate, I wouldn’t be here. It doesn’t mean I don’t give it my all. I don’t do anything halfway.”
Sugar, Spice, and Shifters: A Touch of Holiday Magic Page 40