He knew without asking that this was her room and a wave of satisfaction rolled through him. He pressed her down into the mattress and gave her a deep kiss before pulling away and standing beside the bed. He gripped his T-shirt and pulled it up and over his head.
She scrambled to her knees and reached out. She trailed her fingertips over the hard muscles of his chest and lower, over the ridges cutting his abdomen.
Josh stood stock-still beneath her probing, his body rigid, hurting for her in a way he’d never hurt for any woman.
When she moved to dip her hands beneath the waist of his jeans, he caught her wrists. “You do this to me.” He pressed her fingers against the hard length beneath the zipper of his jeans. “You. It’s not because we’re role-playing or because the time is right and I’m in the mood. I just look at you and I want you. Any time. All the time.” He urged one of her hands down between her own thighs and watched the desire flare in her eyes. “And I do this to you.”
He could tell by the way her lips parted that she felt the heat through her pants, scorching her palm. Her lips parted on a gasp and her body trembled and it was all he could do not to lean down and kiss her again. And again.
Instead, he gathered his control and released her.
“It’s your turn, cupcake.” His muscles bunched with tension and restraint as he stared down at her, into her. “If you really want this, if you really want me, I need to know it.”
And then, just as he’d promised himself out in the garden, he waited for Holly Farraday to make the next move.
12
HOLLY STARED UP at Josh, his gaze so dark and hot, and her body trembled in anticipation.
There were so many things she wanted to say.I want you.
I need you.
I can’t wait to touch you.
She opened her mouth, but the words seemed to stall on the tip of her tongue the way they always did.
But where she couldn’t tell him, she could show him.
Holly sat back on her haunches and lifted her tank top over her head. Trembling fingers worked at the catch of her bra, freeing her straining breasts. She unbuttoned her shorts and sat back to work them down her legs. Her panties followed until she was completely naked.
He didn’t reach out. He simply looked at her, yet it felt as if his hot hand traveled the length of her body along with his gaze, tweaking her nipples and circling the vee between her legs and stealing the air from her lungs.
Desire rushed through her, sharp and demanding, and she climbed to her knees and reached for him.
When she touched the waistband of his jeans this time, he didn’t stop her. She slid the button free, her knuckles grazing his bare stomach. He drew in a sharp breath, but he didn’t move. She slid the zipper down and the edges fell open. She hooked her fingers in the waistband of his briefs and tugged his jeans and underwear down just enough to free his massive erection. She touched the plump, ripe head with the tip of her finger and he groaned.
She trailed her fingers down his hardness, feeling his veins bulge and his shaft throb. She relished the feel of him for a few fast, furious heartbeats before he seemed to reach his limit.
With a throaty growl, he reached for her, pulling her close. He captured her mouth with his own and sucked the breath from her body with his hungry kiss. She met him thrust for thrust, lick for lick, losing herself in the storm of emotion that raged inside her body.
A moment later, he pressed her back against the bed, then leaned away.
“Holly.”
At the sound of his voice, she opened her eyes and stared up into the stormy depths of his.
“Don’t close your eyes. I want to see everything that you feel. I want to know that you like it when I touch you. That you want me to touch you. Me.” He settled beside her and trailed his hand down her collarbone, the slope of one breast. “Do you like it when I touch you here?” With his fingertip, he traced the outline of her nipple, circling the dark tip until it ripened.
“Yes,” she murmured.
He smiled, then dipped his head to close his mouth over one swollen tip. Holly gasped and wound her fingers in the silky roughness of his hair.
He sucked and nuzzled the throbbing nipple until Holly cried out. Then he kissed his way to the other and started to suckle.
Her nerves came alive as he moved his hands down to her waist. He leaned away from her then, letting the cool air blowing from the overhead air-conditioning vent breeze over her heated skin.
“You closed your eyes,” he said.
Guilty, Holly lifted her heavy lids to stare up at him. Their gazes locked as he trailed his hand down her abdomen to the triangle of hair at the base of her thighs.
He watched her as he cupped the heated flesh between her legs. “You’re so wet,” he said, slipping one finger inside the soft folds.
Holly arched her back, pushing herself into his palm, drawing his touch deeper.
“You like me touching you like this?”
She nodded, staring up at him, her lips parted, her body alive with want.
“And like this?” He slipped another finger inside of her and Holly felt her body tighten around him. Need coiled in her stomach, winding tighter with each delicious stroke of his hand.
She took a ragged breath, then another and another as Josh played inside her, driving her toward a pleasure that was so fierce and intense she could hardly stand it.
She gasped, arching her hips for him. He pushed deeper, caressing and stroking until her legs trembled violently and her mind reeled from the sensations flooding her. Then he eased his hand away.
“Josh?” She forced her eyes open to find him studying her heated face.
“I’m here,” he murmured. He took her wrist and pressed a lingering kiss to her pulse beat. “I know you want me, Holly. I can feel it. Can you feel it?” He closed his fingers over hers and touched her palm to her own cheek. She felt the fiery skin and her heart beat faster. He guided her hand from her cheek, down the column of her throat.
Her skin, so hot and flushed beneath her fingers, trembled from her own touch as Josh continued to guide her along. When she touched her nipple, the peak hardened even more. Desire, sharp and sweet, knifed through her. She started to pull away, frightened by the intensity of her reaction, but Josh held her steady.
“Don’t stop,” he said. “Feel how much you want me, Holly. Feel what I feel when I touch you.” He drew her hand down across her stomach to the throbbing between her legs.
Her fingertips touched soft, dewy flesh and pleasure swamped her. She’d masturbated before, but this went beyond self-gratification. With him watching her, guiding her, the act took on a different meaning. It wasn’t just about her own pleasure, but his, as well. She could see the heat in his gaze, the hunger as he guided her through each delicious stroke until she writhed and whimpered, desperate for release.
She cried out, feeling the gush of wetness against her own fingertips as release jolted through her. Josh held her hand steady, sending her higher than she’d ever gone before with the simple act.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his lips a steady vibration at her temple. He let go of her hand to feel his way up the length of her body.
She could feel him, hard and hot against her thigh, and she became aware of a renewed tightening inside. She watched as he reached down and pulled a foil packet from the pocket of his discarded jeans. Driven by her need for him, she took the condom from his hands and tore open the package. She eased the contents over the head of his smooth, pulsing shaft, feeling it twitch beneath her touch.
“Now it’s my turn to feel you,” she told him, relishing his deep, throaty groan as she slipped the second skin the rest of the way down. Then she turned to reach toward the opposite side of the bed and toss the empty package into the wastebasket.
He pressed his lips between her shoulder blades and her breath caught.
“How do I feel?” he murmured against her skin. He pressed his arousal between
her buttocks and her mouth went dry.
“Like you really want me,” she whispered, her heart pounding.
“Darlin’, you don’t know the half of it.” He leaned up on his knees and pulled her up in front of him, his chest cradling her back. He swept her hair to the side and nibbled the side of her neck. One arm came around and he fingered her nipple, rolling and plucking until she gasped.
“I…” She swallowed and searched for her voice. “So show me.”
He grabbed her by the hips and urged her forward until her bottom lifted toward him. The head of his erection slid along her damp flesh a split second before he drove into her. He filled her so completely, so perfectly, that Holly barely caught the cry that curled up her throat.
He gathered her close, one hand kneading her breast while the other moved down. His fingers slid over her fleshy mound and touched her tender flesh stretched tight over his erection.
“You hold me so well,” he murmured against the curve of her throat. “So tight.” The rough pad of his finger brushed her clitoris and a shiver ripped through her. Her body constricted around his and he groaned. He started to move then, in and out, the motion slow and steady at first as he rode her from behind.
She leaned forward, bracing her hands on the bed as she arched her back. The motion pushed her bottom back against him. She met him stroke for stroke until the ride picked up speed. They went faster. Higher. Until she couldn’t hang on any longer. With a loud moan, she pushed back against him, drew him fully inside and let herself go. Light exploded behind her eyelids and convulsions gripped her body as she gave herself up to the delicious pleasure of wanting Josh McGraw.
JOSH THROBBED inside her, exploding with earthshaking intensity as her muscles clenched and unclenched around him. He slid his hands up her sweat-soaked back to weave his fingers into her damp hair and pull her back up against him. Burying his face in the fragrant crook of her neck, he held her close. He felt every quiver of her body, every erratic breath. Her heart pounded against the palm of his hand and his stomach hollowed out as if someone had sucker-punched him. A wave of possessiveness swept through him and he had the sudden, desperate urge to tighten his hold on her and never let go.
Because she was his.He’d slept with numerous women, but none had ever stirred such a fierce response. Once Josh savored any particular woman, he usually lost his taste for her pretty quickly.
But not this woman. With each kiss, each touch, he wanted more.
For the moment.
Josh wasn’t a man who put much weight in love or forever or any of that other bullshit men used to snag a woman and keep her with him through the lies and the betrayal. And so he wasn’t placing any bets on the infatuation he felt for the woman in his arms, except to say that it would fade. It always faded.
And if it didn’t?
He would still walk away.
The thought bothered him a lot more than it should have and he forced it aside, determined to focus on the here and now. On the steady beat of her heart and the sweet scent of her skin and the fact that they weren’t bound by any agreement this time. He had all night to enjoy her and he intended to do just that.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Josh leaned up on his elbow and watched as Holly padded across the darkened bedroom and flipped on a small lamp.
“Getting dressed.” She reached into her drawer and pulled on a large T-shirt that fell to midthigh.“Why?”
“I thought I would walk you out.” She turned and reached for his discarded jeans which she handed to him. “You’ll need these. Though I suppose it wouldn’t matter if you left in your skivvies. That’s one plus of being out in the middle of nowhere.”
“Let me get this straight,” he said as he swung his legs over the side of the bed, the jeans in his hands, and stared at the clock. “You want me to leave?” It was just a little past one in the morning. “Now?”
She nodded. “I’ve got to be up early and I really need to get to bed.”
He stared at her, his gaze traveling up her bare legs, over the soft white cotton, to her passion-swollen lips and bright green eyes. Her hair was mussed and she looked like a woman who’d just been made love to by her man. He patted the spot next to him and grinned. “So get back in bed.”
Her lips curved into a knowing smile. “If I crawl back in that bed, we’re not going to get any sleep. I’ve got one hundred and thirty orders to fill tomorrow.”
“You really want me to leave?”
“I need some sleep.”
“So do I, but I was thinking we could do that right here. Together.” With his body wrapped around hers.
“I can’t actually sleep with someone else in the bed. Even when I was little, I never slept over at anyone’s house. Whenever I tried, I ended up staring at the ceiling all night because I just couldn’t get comfortable.”
“Because it didn’t feel like home,” he told her. “Did it?”
She gave him a sharp look before she finally shrugged. “I never could really relax no matter how much I tried. Needless to say, I wasn’t at the top of anyone’s list when it came to slumber party invites.”
“I don’t know about that. You’d be top on my list.”
She gave him a knowing look. “Your slumber party wouldn’t involve Barbies and popcorn.”
“I don’t know about the popcorn, but you’ve definitely outgrown the Barbies. You like bigger dolls now, and so do I.” Her cheeks fired a bright red at the reminder of their threesome encounter not long ago, and he felt a swell of satisfaction.
For all her boldness, he could still make her blush.
Even more, he liked making her blush. He liked seeing her all soft and vulnerable. Even more, he liked the sudden surge of possessiveness it inspired.
As fast as the feeling stirred, he tamped it back down, because Josh had been doing it so long he wasn’t so sure he could ever stop.
Even if he suddenly wanted to.
“I’ve got an early day tomorrow, and I’m sure you do, too.” She snatched up his T-shirt and handed it to him. “It’s best if we call it a night.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but there was something almost desperate about the way she looked at him. As if she needed him to leave right now, as much as she’d needed him to stay earlier.
“I do have to finish the branding on the new cattle.”
“See? We’ve both got a full schedule. Speaking of which, I need to make sure I made the list of ingredients for tomorrow’s orders. We’re still running a day behind because Duke keeps delivering late, so I try to inventory everything beforehand to make sure I’m stocked. Otherwise, we’re running to the Food-o-rama or picking up extra supplies when I go to Cherryville, which wastes so much time. You can show yourself out, can’t you?” Before he could reply, she pressed a kiss to his lips and walked out.
What the hell just happened?
The question echoed in his head as he sat on the edge of the bed and listened to her soft footsteps until they’d disappeared downstairs. He eyed the indentation on the mattress where they’d lain together only a short time ago. He barely resisted the urge to crawl between the sweet-smelling sheets—sheets that smelled of her—and give in to the exhaustion tugging at his muscles. At the same time, he couldn’t forget the desperation in her gaze.
“Shit,” he muttered as he tugged on his clothes. A few minutes later, he stepped down off her front porch, his boots crunching gravel as he headed for his pickup truck.
So much for enjoying her all night.
JOSH FLICKED a button on the work light and watched as bright rays flooded the old barn and pushed back the shadows. He popped the hood on the old GTO, hooked a small, portable light overhead and started unscrewing the cracked transmission.
The twisted metal refused to give and he reached for a hammer. He positioned his screwdriver and hammered the flat head into the groove. He pried and jimmied and worked at the engine for the next half hour, determined to get the damned thing out one way or another, and his mind
completely off Holly and the fact that she’d kicked him out of bed.It didn’t matter.
It shouldn’t matter.
Hell, he never spent the night with a woman unless they were going at it. But just to sleep? He usually walked away even faster than Holly had. So why did it bother him so much?
Because she’d been the one walking away and he couldn’t help but wonder…why?
The question had nagged him all the way home and into bed where he’d tossed and turned before finally giving up. He’d needed a distraction and so he’d come out here to work. To forget.
He jammed the screwdriver deeper and pried until he heard metal crack. The transmission gave with a loud creak and a groan and he pulled it free. Christ, it was a mess. His dad had not only done himself in when he’d hit the pole. He’d annihilated the car, as well.
The thought didn’t stir the same bitterness that it usually did and Josh couldn’t help but remember Holly’s words.
Maybe it wasn’t guilt so much as grief.
Had his father really loved his mother even though he’d lied and cheated? He wasn’t so sure anymore. Not that it mattered. They’d both died miserable and hurt. At the same time, the possibility that his father had been capable of such an emotion, that he’d felt it so deeply he hadn’t wanted to live without his wife, meant that such a feeling existed. And that it was powerful. And that maybe, just maybe, Josh could feel the same thing someday.
Of course, he would handle things differently, that was for damned sure. He wouldn’t cheat and he wouldn’t lie and he wouldn’t add to his past mistakes.
If…
The possibility weighed on his mind as he worked at the transmission and tried to forget Holly and the way she’d shoved him out of bed.
He’d obviously smelled too many exhaust fumes. It wasn’t about sleeping with her. It was about everything before they got around to sleeping. He’d wanted to violate the agreement, and he’d done just that. They were free. That was all that mattered. That they could do what they wanted, when they wanted, period.
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