Easy

by Mercedes Siler

  This is going to be good.

  I pull out the family picture I have in my wallet from my military school graduation. I hand it to her. It’s the funniest thing ever. And it’s sad. That’s why I’ve kept it.

  “When was this?”

  I point to the baby. “That’s Micah. He’s four now. I was seventeen when I graduated.”

  Her eyebrows are up so high. “What happened to your hair? Why are you in a uniform?” she asks, horrified.

  “Military school.” I sigh.

  “Why?”

  “I was insubordinate. My dad thought it would teach me how to fall in line.”

  She looks at me, her mouth open in shock. “People actually send their kids to military school?”

  I grin. “There were a lot of us there. Some were good kids from military families, some were bad kids. I learned a lot. And not what they wanted me to. They thought I was bad before, it was nothing compared to the kid I was when I graduated. But I figured it out and got through it and got into a good college so it all worked out.”

  She’s shocked. “I want to jump your bones right now.”

  Now I’m shocked. “I guess it was all worth it then.” I laugh as she pushes me onto the bed.

  *****

  I lie on my stomach under the covers, watching her look at the picture. I’m happy. She’s naked, and her butt is amazing.

  “Tell me who everyone is.”

  I take the picture. “These are my parents. These are my two older brothers, Benjamin and Zechariah. Abigail. And Micah.” I point to each of them.

  “Wow. You came out of that woman. Are you sure?”

  I smile and lay my head down. “Pretty sure. I don’t remember but that’s what I’ve been told.”

  She nods. “Then I know exactly what your real dad looks like.”

  I laugh. I love her. She’s so perfect. “Yeah. I know.”

  “Have you ever asked about it?”

  I shake my head. “I’ve made accusations. I gained respect from my acting father. I’ve never gotten any confirmation or positive IDs. I don’t know what I’m made of.”

  She looks at me. “I don’t know either but it’s a beautiful mix. You have your mom’s mouth. So does your sister. The other ones don’t look like you at all.”

  “I’ve always felt I didn’t belong. It would have been nice to know for sure.” I move onto my side and squeeze her butt.

  She looks at me like it’s nothing. “People make mistakes.”

  “I know.” I hate being stuck in this stupid hotel room with her. All I can think about is making sweet, sweet love.

  “What made them send you to military school?”

  “I kept fighting and running away, and the prep school I was attending kicked me out.”

  “How old were you when you ran away?”

  “The first time I think I was thirteen.”

  “What made you run away when you were thirteen?”

  “I was mad. No real reason.” I shrug. It always makes me feel stupid to tell people who have real issues these things.

  She nods. “It’s funny that you didn’t like your situation and had the courage to bail and look at me, it took me three years to have the balls to take off. And it wasn’t by myself, I attached myself to you guys.”

  “Is that what you think?” I ask her, bringing my hand back.

  She shrugs. “Yeah.”

  “I never think ahead. I get mad and take off. I’ve been lucky in the sense that no real harm has come to me. But it could have. My situation is not the same as yours.” I pull her down with me and hold her.

  “Sometimes I wonder if I liked it and that’s why I didn’t take off.”

  Jake has said the same thing to me before. It’s so sick how the dirty pervs fuck with their brains and make them think things they don’t really think. That’s why it’s not so hard for Jake to do what he does. Or at least he’d like to think it isn’t. “That’s what they want you to think. It’s not true though. That’s how your brain deals with it so you don’t go crazy.”

  “Do you think so?”

  I nod and hold her. We need to get out of this hotel room. We need to move on. “What do you want to do next?”

  “What do you mean? Like with life, or tomorrow?”

  “I want to leave Palm Springs.”

  “I want to call my aunt and tell her I’m okay.”

  “Do it.”

  “I might.”

  “Would you like to meet my mom? I think I should go see her.”

  “Yes.” She nods. “I want to wear a dress when I meet her. I wish I didn’t have a bruise.”

  “You can hardly see it.”

  “Would you like to meet my aunt?”

  “I would love to.” I kiss her cheek. “After I have a job and a place for you to live.”

  “Who needs jobs? Places to live, yes. I’ve loved this time with you but I’m anxious to not be here. And not be at some creep’s house. Or some campground.”

  I laugh. It’s been a few weeks. I’ve done it for months before. “Already?”

  “Yeah.”

  It is nice to know she feels the same about this hellhole. “We should probably get ready to go.”

  “Should we?” She sighs, dreamy. “I want to have a kitchen where I can cook.”

  “You can cook?”

  “Can’t everyone?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never tried.”

  She laughs. “Wow. What a different world you’ve lived in.” She closes her eyes, smiling.

  I run my hand down her body and soft belly and below. “I have to get out of this place.” I whisper.

  “I know. I think we’re going to break it.”

  “Really?”

  The stupid hotel door opens. I hear her squeak and I quickly cover her up as Jake stumbles into the room. “Hey, Easy. Room for one more?” he slurs, laughing at his joke.

  Chapter 20

  I get up and walk past him and Heidi. Oscar is right outside the door, leaning against the jamb. I pull on my jeans. “What are you doing, you big oaf?” I throw Mayyim a t-shirt and my undies.

  “Me and Heidi’s goin’ to a party. Oscar can’t hang.”

  I look at Oscar who’s looking at his brother with a disgusted snarl.

  Jake is groping Heidi while she giggles.

  Heidi is a short, gangly rockabilly chick that looks like she stepped out of 1963 with her hair, and her packed on makeup and red lips and sunglasses to hide bloodshot, vacant eyes.

  I scowl at Jake. “No, you’re not.”

  “Why the fuck not?” He frowns, confused, talking too loud.

  “Because you’re not leaving this room.”

  “I thought you were my friend, you fucking punk-ass motherfucker.”

  “You’re drunk. You’re not going anywhere.” I don’t know how to handle the sloppy situation. I can’t tell where he’s going next.

  “I ain’t drunk!” He pulls Heidi onto the bed with him, dry humping her while she cackles.

  “Get off that bed!” I yell. There’s something holy and pure about it and they’re tainting it.

  “You gonna take that from him, Joaquin?” she asks, attacking his face with her mouth.

  “Course not.” He kisses her nose. He gets up clumsily and steps up to me. “What’d you say about my girl?”

  “I didn’t say anything about that dirty-ass bitch. And she’s not your girl. Settle down you drunk. You’re so fucking dumb. Now I have to drive her dirty ass home.”

  “You ain’t drivin’ her nowhere, you cock. You’ll fuck her and get her pregnant like every girl you touch on this fucking planet!”

  I hit him in the face and he falls over, passed out cold on the floor, snoring already. I look at Oscar. I don’t know how fiercely loyal they are.

  Oscar shakes his head. “It’s cool, bro. He deserved it.”

  I look at Mayyim. Her eyebrows are up in surprise. She gets up, grabbing her backpack and heading to the bathroom. “I’m
going with you.” She changes and comes out and we head to the car. She gets in the back.

  I think it’s cool she came. I don’t know if it was more the fear of being alone with Oscar and Jake or me being alone with Heidi. I prefer to think it’s the latter and she’s protecting her assets. That makes me feel good even if nothing would ever happen.

  I used to drive. I have a car at my parents’ house. But I have to fight the visions of broken glass and blood dripping and the feeling of being out of control in order to drive a car so I let Abby have mine after the accident. I’ve had to drive a couple of times since then but both times it fucked with my head.

  I take deep breaths to try to keep my composure, gripping the steering wheel. The car is running and we’re ready to go. Heidi is rambling on about something.

  I wipe sweat off my forehead.

  Mayyim hands me a cigarette.

  God, please bless this beautiful creature.

  She lights me up and I roll down the window and lean across Heidi to roll hers down, too. I don’t want my smoke to hurt her, you know? Mayyim, not Heidi. I’ve never felt so protective about another grown person in all my life. I want to quit smoking because I don’t want to hurt her.

  Driving is like riding, you just have to focus more.

  Alright. We’re going.

  Heidi’s house is not too far away, and she is drunken rambling and sleeping. I’m glad she hasn’t tried to touch me because I can’t handle that.

  I shake her awake after parking in her driveway. “Hey, Heidi, wake up. We’re at your house.”

  She sits and looks at me. “Did we do it?”

  “Yeah.” I tell her, watching her come to.

  “I missed it. I’ll be right back with your money.”

  I raise my eyebrows and watch her stumble up her walk and inside. I turn to look at Mayyim. She looks unsure, disgusted, and now I feel like shit.

  She comes back and hands me a wad, Jake’s backpack, and some baggies of coke. There’s like five hundred here. I give her all but one. “Here, it wasn’t my best performance.”

  “I thought you were okay.” She smiles a hideous drunk attempt at flirtatiousness. “Watch out for Jacob. He’s wild. He’s in a funk. He destroyed my house. Viv took off. We don’t do doubles, ya know? It’s weird.” She leans in and dirty mouth kisses me before stumbling back to her house and we leave.

  Mayyim climbs into the front and puts on her seatbelt. She picks up the money and baggies.

  I glance at her troubled face. “If it makes you feel any better, that’s about ninety bucks worth of coke and Jake probably deserves it.”

  She nods, sad.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it. Should I give it back?”

  “I’m not sad about that. I’m sad I don’t know what to do with myself. You guys are so good at what you do, and you have a plan and you’ve gone to a good school and Jake paints cars for a real living. I barely graduated.”

  I pick up her hand. “Going to school and having a plan is the product of strict parenting. If I didn’t have the father I had, I can’t say I’d be where I am now. On either side. It’s also because of him I’m here right now, ya know?” I steal glances at her, feeling bad.

  But the more I sit here, driving with this girl in the car, the more I think about this huge revelation I’m having. This is the first time I’ve thought about my family and I haven’t been angry. It’s refreshing to feel so clear-hearted. I can breathe. “Being a lawyer isn’t what I want to do with my life. It’s what I’ve been groomed to do. I’m not worried. Everything will work out.” I’m worried about how I’m going to get and keep that job not having a place to live. But having the job is necessary to find a place to live. But I’m not going to worry her about that. “Everything will feel much better once we’re out of Palm Springs. Trust me. Besides, I thought you could cook.” I smile.

  She looks at me, giving me one of those incredulous, pure woman looks. “What does Abby do?”

  “She’s going to school to be a teacher. She’s going to be one of those irritating bitch teachers that don’t let you get away with anything.”

  She smiles. “I think you love your sister.”

  “I do.” I agree. “What do you want to do?”

  She shrugs. “I want to be a mom. I want to have a million kids and hug all of them. It’s sad I probably won’t be able to. But aside from that I want to help little kids get away. Like why isn’t there anyone helping Jake and Cece?”

  “I don’t know.” I wish I did. I think there’s a lot of shame and fear.

  “Well, I want to help.”

  “You should.” We drive and ride in silence for a while. I park in the hotel lot and turn to her. She’s looking at me, too, and I think we have the same thing on our minds. I hold her face in my hands. “It wasn’t because I was bored. And I don’t regret anything, and I mean everything I said. What about you?”

  She takes a deep breath and her eyes look lighter and brighter, relieved. “Yes. I was bored but not bored enough to make a dumb decision. I feel like sometimes you just need to go with the flow, and that’s what we did.”

  “It doesn’t change anything. We still have a lot of things to learn about each other but what’s the difference whether it’s before or after? No one is going to understand that but you and me, though. Getting married after knowing each other a couple of weeks goes against what we’ve been taught. It doesn’t mean it’s wrong, it’s just not normally done in this society.”

  She nods. “They’re all going to look at you like you’re crazy.”

  I smile. “I’m used to it. But the pressure scares me.”

  She smiles. “That’s why you intrigue me.”

  “I intrigue you?” I grin, eyebrows up.

  She bites her smile and turns her head to the side to look at me, looking as happy as I feel. “Yes. You’re quick and decisive.”

  “I hope that’s good?”

  “It’s who you are, I think. You think fast on your feet.” She smiles beautifully and kisses me. “Do I still have to pay for your kisses?” she whispers.

  “Yes. You’ll always have to pay for them. It’s lucky you’re good at what you do and won’t have a problem coming up with the funds.”

  “It’s probably because they’re worth it. I’d go broke for them. Any day.” She climbs onto my lap.

  “You’re wearing pants.” I hold her hips, feeling her body warm and soft all over mine.

  “I know.” She kisses my neck, giving me hickies. I feel the light skin of her cheek against the skin of mine. Her soft hair is falling on my cheeks. I’ve never felt this way before. My life has always been hard, and fast, and stiflingly hot. But this doesn’t feel like any of those things. She’s soft, and quiet, and peaceful. She’s always so close to me. Why is that not stifling when my other life where no one touched me was?

  I breathe her in, enjoying this, because tonight is going to be our last night together like this. I have to figure out what’s going on with Jake. I have to visit my mom. I have to figure out how I’m going to get a place to live for the two of us and Jake. I have to get a stupid haircut. It’s like this is the last little bit of fluffy white clouds and blue, blue sky.

  We make our way to our room and Jake is still passed out on the floor. He’s moved ,though so I don’t think I killed him.

  Oscar and I move him to the bed and I grab my backpack. I add the money to the pile and count it because I didn’t take it with me. It’s better to not trust anyone than worry about who to trust.

  All there.

  I add the coke to it and zip it all back up heading to the shower, and Mayyim follows me in.

  “How are you? With everything?” I ask her while I shampoo and watch her rub the goat soap on her naked skin. It’s distracting, watching that bar move over her like that, and I take it from her to wash her myself.

  “Which everything?” She has a warm, aroused look in her eyes as she looks into mine, letting me wash her.


  Her cheeks are pink and her nipples are amazing. “Grief, history, new things.” My voice is so deep and quiet.

  She shampoos while I wash her back. “I think about the baby. But I have hope for the future. And I have hope we’ll see them again. It hurts but it’s not so life stopping now. The baby’s all I could think about at the beginning.” She rinses her hair. “I’m worried about my stepdad coming after me. But I keep telling myself he can’t do anything if he found me, right? I’m legally an adult and he can’t make me go with him, right?”

  Legally, no. “No. But everything in his house is his.”

  She lets out a sigh.

  “And I wouldn’t let him anyway.”

  “Thanks. I know you’re trying to make me feel better, and it’s working. I got all the important stuff. I left these awesome shoes I bought with babysitting money, and a lot of clothes and undies that would be nice to have.”

  “What kind of shoes?” Her body is so slippery and soapy.

  “Not important. I can replace them eventually.”

  I pull her hips back to me. If she just bent over a little bit this would be the best shower I’ve ever had.

  The door is opening loudly and the toilet seat is being slammed, and there’s puking sounds. We grimace at each other and I look around the curtain at Jake. “How’s it going, buddy?”

  “Fuck off.” He croaks, and starts puking again.

  I laugh. I have my family back together and everything is right with the world. Mayyim glares where Jake is on the other side of the curtain. I pull her to me and kiss her forehead. It’s not the first time and it probably won’t be the last. “Hey, Jake, when you’re done puking your guts out, can you hand me a towel?” We rinse and turn off the water.

  He groans. “Fuck you.”

  I’ll get out and get my own damn towel, then.

  He continues to puke. But he is a puker. He’ll probably go for the next twenty minutes and get up not wasted. I’ve seen him do it before.

  I give Mayyim my towel and start to get dressed.

  He lifts his forehead off the rim of the toilet and looks at me with his red, bull eyes. “Shut up.”

  “I didn’t say anything.” I do my hair thing. It’s such a pain in the ass to keep it from looking like I just got electrocuted.