For One Nen

by Capri S Bard

  Dhobin, however, ran back through the crowd to Hrilla, “You can’t go back.”

  “But I must,” she countered. “Remember the cave of drops where I have planted. I will gather there. It will be enough to sustain us to the surface.”

  Neither of them dared whisper their fear of what new dangers might await them on the surface. They only knew that staying was not an option for any of them.

  Without even touching her, Dhobin stood next to her and gazed down the long and dimly lit line of fugitives that had come to trust his guidance. He stretched forth his hand and pointed.

  “This is my path,” he said plainly. Looking at the beautiful Hrilla beside him he asked, “Join me?”

  A smile burst across her face. She snatched a kiss and dashed away calling over her shoulder, “Soon.”

  She ran as fast as her strong legs would let her. She curved through the tunnels and found the cave of drops. She didn’t remember leaving her staff there the last time she had planted in her secret place. But there it was, leaning against the tub where she had bathed many times before. For a moment she felt emotional about leaving such a place of consolation.

  Though in the next instant she remembered Dhobin’s proposal just an hour before and her smile returned. She stripped her top quickly and filled it with as many root vegetables as she could find. She cut leafy greens and picked more pea pods than would fit in anything she could find to carry them. She hesitated only a moment before slipping out of her loose fitting skirt. Now she could pick all the pea pods she could find. She even broke stalks of sugarcane and slid them into the skirt. Looking once more at her tub and her garden and the place where she first spoke with Dhobin she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then quickly, she tied up the skirt to hold her harvest. She picked up a leather sling filled with stones of light. She took up her shirt, which she had already tied. Grabbing her staff she headed out of the cave of drops. The trek back was longer because she was not just going uphill she was loaded with the provisions for her people.

  It took her almost two hours to return to the waiting, hungry crowd. Hrilla untied her skirt and poured out the food on a large flat stone. She tied the skirt around her waist and began parceling out the provisions.

  Once fed, the Nen regained their strength quickly.

  One little boy grabbed Hrilla in a tight hug almost knocking her over. “Oh! Thank you. Thank you,” he said many times.

  His mother took him by the hand and said, “He was so scared.” She looked to Hrilla and added, “Thank you.” The woman pressed her chest with her open hand and let out an emotional quick laugh. “Oh! Dear. Thank you doesn’t begin to…” the woman broke into tears and held her child tightly.

  Hrilla pulled the woman close and said calmly, “We will be fine.”

  297 AE

  Aboard the EGRESS

  “She sounds like you, Deni,” Tala said as she looked at her love beside her. “Oh,” Tala said, “you look cold.” She slid between the blankets and folded them back for Deni to join her.

  Deni cuddled in next to her and laid her head on the crook of Tala’s arm. With the other arm Tala held the book she had been reading.

  “They must be shutting down power in most of the ship,” Deni said with a shiver. “I thought we might hear something before that happened.”

  “Stay close. We’ll be fine,” said Tala.

  Deni snuggled in close as she smiled. “Read more. I love this story.”

  “You just want to hear about a beautiful naked girl,” Tala teased.

  Deni turned her head enough to look into Tala’s face. “Beauty is nice but lovely is irresistible.”

  Tala smiled and leaned her head down to kiss the lovely face she held close to her breast.

  “Can I tell you something?” Tala asked.

  “You can tell me anything,” Deni said with a gaze of pure adoration.

  “Before the Hoth were no more, I would go to the observation deck and dance. Mathis and his grandfather Shep would watch me most every night. Shep was kind and exalted my own creative dance.”

  Deni gave a look that concerned Tala.

  “You don’t approve?” Tala asked with disappointment.

  “No,” Deni said.

  Tala sat up and turned her back to Deni.

  “No, it’s not that I don’t approve,” Deni said as she put her arm around Tala. “I’m just hurt that you couldn’t feel you could tell me. Don’t you know?… I guess you don’t. I never thought I had to tell you how I felt. But how else would you have known. I was so young and didn’t know myself back then. Don’t you remember how we met?”

  “First day of class,” Tala said with a remembering smirk.

  “You sat next to me, plain little Deni, but you said I was lovely. Then your Goweli friend looked at my dirty finger nails and said, ‘Tsila,’ As if all Tsila were dirty. But I had just planted flowers that morning.”

  “I wasn’t noticing your hands,” Tala shook her head inferring that she had taken notice of Deni. “And you weren’t plain. Not then, not now. You are lovely and you make all that is around you lovely. I feel lovely just by being with you.”

  “But you’ve always been beautiful, long before I came along,” Deni reasoned.

  “Beautiful, maybe… but not lovely,” Tala’s blonde hair fell down her back.

  “You really don’t know, do you?” Deni said as she lightly touched Tala’s cheek. “Being beautiful isn’t a bad thing,” Deni said. “It’s the reason I first lost my breath over you.”

  “It’s been my experience that beauty attracts all sorts, and it’s usually the wrong sorts that are loud and…” Tala said.

  Deni pulled Tala close and whispered, “Don’t you know…?” Deni whispered softly in her ear, “my lovely one. Don’t you know that you touch my heart with everything about you; the way you dance or walk or speak or look my way; when I hear your voice or when someone says your name? I even saw your name written on the work log that’s kept at the door of the officer’s lounge and I thought my heart had stopped; literally stopped. Don’t you know you are where my thoughts find rest? I’ve always had these lists in my head of things I had to do as I went about my day. Sometimes they would stress me beyond belief but one thought of you could stop me in my tracks and all of a sudden I feel… I feel home…safe...connected.”

  “Hmm,” Tala said as she sucked in her top lip and cleared her throat. “Ever notice how it’s easier to believe things other’s say about you more than if you said it to yourself.”

  “I don’t know, Love. I tell myself everyday how great I am,” Deni jumped to her feet as she swished and sashayed in Tala’s dress, “And now just look at me.” Deni tried to take a serious pose but instead burst into laughter.

  Tala laughed at her partner.

  “Come back. You’ll get cold,” Tala said, still laughing. “Come, let’s read more about the beautiful Hrilla.”

  Deni began rubbing her hands together as she jumped between the covers with Tala.

  Tala chuckled and looked as though she was thinking of something with great interest.

  “What is it?” asked Deni as she nestled next to Tala.

  Tala leaned on her elbow and said, “You know for a Tsila you have a lovely way with words.”

  Deni slipped even closer to her and whispered, “But words are not my favorite.” Deni closed her eyes and found Tala’s waiting mouth with her own.

  When they parted Deni snuggled her body close to her love.

  Tala leaned her head against Deni and began to read.

  2,300 BE

  Far below the surface of the planet REEN

  “Is everyone ready?” Hrilla called out.

  The little crowd stood to their feet and traveled up the tunnel path toward the surface.

  She gave several children stones of light to help ease the children’s fears and help light the way.

  Two hours later a young girl from the front of the line of travelers called back, “Light up ahea
d.”

  Hrilla ran past the line of people and headed straight for the opening. Yet, as she tried to hurry, she was distracted by some paintings on the walls. One picture she understood easily. There were two suns with one exploding. Then there was Reen, their planet and people running underground. She didn’t hesitate long looking at the drawings. She walked steadily as she glanced often at the walls. Then there it was, an opening with tiny green shrubs on each side of the entrance.

  Hrilla walked out into darkness. There was a light in the sky that was the shape of her thumbnail.

  “Dhobin,” she called several times.

  From the darkness came her path joiner.

  “Someone had fallen over a sharp stone and we had to help bandage him,” he said.

  Hrilla grabbed him into a full embrace and said, “Let’s don’t ever go back. As long as Emperor Tapsin is alive, let’s don’t ever go back.”

  “Shh,” Dhobin said softly. Pulling her from him he looked into her eyes and said, “We’ve got to help the people find places for sleeping and things to eat. Some of us have been talking about scouting for other people.”

  “You think there are others, here on the surface?” Hrilla asked.

  “Either way we need to find food and a way to live up here. Looks like it is as dark as the underground and we don’t have Ot’s stones of light here.”

  He took off his shirt and draped it around Hrilla.

  “I think those with young ones will sleep inside the cave for now,” Dhobin said. “Many of us will stay out here and after we sleep we will try to find a way to make rooms. We should stay together. We don’t know what we’ll encounter here.” He took her by the hand and smiled in the faint light of a tiny stone.

  “I don’t know what kind of life we’ll have here but we are together,” he brushed her tiny braids behind her shoulder and added, “and I’m your man.”

  The two of them mingled with the other survivors of that day’s tragedy. Many started small warming fires with their stones of light. As Hrilla walked among her friends she overheard every little group speak of their personal stories of the day; how one Goweli knocked a Het in the back of the head, which stunned him long enough to grab two young sparsers to safety; how another watched their son charge a guard at the entrance, but the guard had slammed him to the ground without emotion; and how a Nen picked up a tiny child after his mother had fallen against a rock when one Het guard had flung an escaping Hoth through the crowd.

  On and on Hrilla and Dhobin walked and listened.

  “Dhobin?” she said when she’d stopped at the edge of the gathering. She looked out into the darkness and trembled, “Is it possible to be happy again?”

  Dhobin held her hand and stared off in the same direction. His heart also shattered like glass.

  “I just don’t know,” he said.

  “Fbathin,” Hrilla gasped.

  She raced back through the crowd asking everyone she passed if they had seen her Hoth friend. She reached the cave and searched inside.

  “She’s not here!” Hrilla cried.

  “We’ll find her,” Dhobin assured her.

  “Where could she be? I thought she followed you up.”

  “I think so,” Dhobin said.

  Hrilla put her hands on the sides of her head. “What am I going to do? She’s my best friend.”

  Hrilla’s mother walked out of the darkness to her daughter. “I couldn’t stop her,” she said catching her breath.

  She smelled the sea and took off in that direction.

  Hrilla raced away into the black.

  297 AE

  Aboard the EGRESS

  “Why did she go off in the dark after a Hoth,” asked Deni with disdain.

  Tala jerked her head toward her partner, “It was her best friend.”

  Deni realized the depth of bitterness this caused Tala but couldn’t understand why.

  “But she’s a Hoth,” Deni spoke slowly, trying to understand.

  “And no one can love a Hoth, I suppose?” Tala said sarcastically as her tight grip on the book made her knuckles turn white.

  “Is this because you became friends with Shep, Mathis’ grandfather?” asked Deni.

  “I’ve never thought of you as one of those haters of the Hoth,” Tala said with offense.

  “What’s the big deal? They’re Hoth. They rebelled against the empire and stole the children. Don’t you remember that story?” Deni tried to explain.

  Tala jumped to her feet flinging the book aside. “You really are one of them. The whole of the Hoth tribe was lost and you couldn’t care less. You would probably throw Mathis out of the air lock with them if it were up to you,” Tala’s words raced from her mouth.

  “I didn’t say that,” Deni said in defense.

  “What do you see when you look at me?” Tala asked with the same offended tone.

  “What?” Deni asked as she stood on the layers of blankets.

  Tala pressed her open hand to her breast and said clearly, “What do you see when you look at me?”

  “I’ve told you many times. You are beautiful and lovely and attractive,” Deni tried her best to console Tala.

  Again Tala demanded, “What do you see?”

  “You are kind, and graceful, and caring, and smart…” Deni continued her attempt to still Tala’s agitation.

  However, Tala asked once again, “What…do you…see?”

  “I see my beautiful Goweli mate,” Deni said softly.

  “But…I am not just Goweli,” Tala said softly.

  “What are you saying?” Deni asked with surprise.

  Tala took Deni’s hands lightly. “I am also Hoth,” Tala whispered.

  “No,” Deni gasped as she pulled her hands away. “You can’t be Hoth,” Deni said with unbelief. “You’re Goweli. Anyone can see that.”

  “But I am also Hoth,” Tala admitted with a tilt of her head.

  “No,” Deni said as her brow furrowed in a way Tala had never seen before.

  “You’ve never…not smiled…at me before,” Tala whispered as her heart was quickly breaking.

  “It can’t be,” Deni said in disbelief.

  Tala reached out for Deni’s hand but Deni jerked away.

  Still dressed in her lover’s clothes, Tala dashed away, down the aisle of book shelves to the library door.

  Deni watched her go without a word. She couldn’t find words to say. She couldn’t make her feet move; to race after the one she loved best. Tala lifted the latch, flung open the door, and was gone. Deni dropped to her knees as if the air had suddenly left the room.

  She inhaled long and slow, clenched her fists, and beat them on the smooth shiny floor until they stung. With another deep breath she picked up the book Tala had dropped. She rose to her feet in Tala’s light and flowing garment and raced after her. She flung open the door and stepped into the hallway, looking in all directions.

  On her right she found the group of students and others gathered in the area where the keepers held class. They were watching a video of Chris reading the story of Hrilla. She recognized it as the book Tala had been reading to her. She walked to the edge of the growing crowd and asked, “Has anyone seen Tala?”

  Benai looked up at Deni and said, “Hey isn’t that Tala’s dress?” He then scrunched up his face as if something had just occurred to him. He laughed and said, “Nice, very nice.”

  “Have you seen her?” Deni asked in haste.

  “She went that way,” he said with another laugh but then his face fell as if he had been kicked in the gut.

  “What is it?” Deni asked with a furrowed brow.

  Benai’s eyes filled with tears quickly and ran down his face like an unending waterfall. He pointed to the video the group was watching.

  “Benny?” Teltel said as he rushed to his friend.

  “My dreams,” Benai said.

  “You mean your nightmares?” Teltel asked.

  “What’s going on?” Deni asked. She drew nearer and look
ed at the screen.

  The video, which the crowd was watching was of Chris reading the story of the first sparsing when Hrilla rescued many from the bloody battle against the empire and Tapsin.

  The crowd listened to Chris tell the story but Benai raced to a garbage portal and opened the door. He shoved his head inside and hurled long and hard. Teltel and Deni stood on either side of him until he reappeared with a pale face and a relieved smile.

  “I’m alright, big guy,” he said to Teltel.

  “You sure?” Deni asked. “You don’t look so good.”

  “It was Emperor Tapsin,” Benai said. “My nightmares have been about Tapsin. I saw the sparsing. I saw his paranoid evil intentions. I saw his disregard for his family. He pushed a Het to kill his wife. I saw all the death in his heart.” He looked at Teltel with tears of relief. “I thought it was me. I thought I was going mad. It was all Tapsin.”

  Teltel threw his long arm around his friend.

  “All this time I thought it was me,” repeated Benai.

  “Maybe you’re part Antip?” Deni suggested.

  Benai looked down to her. “What do you mean? I can’t push my thoughts at people.”

  “Well maybe not but if you are Antip then maybe you carry some of the Empire’s memories.”

  “And maybe it just comes out in your nightmares,” Teltel suggested.

  “I don’t know if I’m Antip but I’m just glad that I’m not going mad. I just had somebody else’s memories in my head.”

  “A madman’s memories,” Deni said with compassion. She squeezed his arm and asked, “You going to be alright now?”

  “I think I finally am,” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. He looked up at Teltel and added, “Finally.”

  “I need to go find Tala now,” Deni said.

  Teltel motioned with his hand to her garment she was wearing. “I see,” he said with a smirk.

  Benai repeated his earlier comment, “Nice.” He was definitely feeling better.

  Teltel clapped his friend on the chest. “Yes, he’s going to be just fine.”

  Deni squeezed Benai’s shoulder again and dashed away.