Not My Type

by Taylor Love

  “Where do you find these fine men? I need to hang out with you more. Damn girl!” Julia complained.

  “He’s just a friend,” Mika mumbled around a bite of her own McMuffin.

  Kimberly choked on a sip of coffee as she tried not to burst out laughing. “You a damn lie,” she said in a near whisper. “You didn’t come here with your ‘friend’, who is still dressed in a full tux from last night.”

  Julia was shaking her head as well. “Whether friend or special friend, what’s his name?”

  For the first time Andrea spoke up. “His name is Robert...he’s Cam best friend.”

  “You two make me sick. Greedy, monopolizing all the men,” Kimberly said pouting.

  “Why is he here?” Andrea asked briskly.

  “You guys just have a seat and you’ll see,” Mika said looking at her phone to see it was indeed eleven a.m. on the dot.

  Mika stepped forward addressing the girls, clapping her hands to grab their attention. “Okay ladies, you can finish eating as we have our first lesson of the New Year. As you can see we have a guest today, who also happens to be a male. This is Robert Lorde, and he’ll be demonstrating a few ways a man should treat a lady. He even got dressed up to make it more realistic. I would have done the same, but there was an unfortunate accident with the dress I planned to wear.”

  Mika saw his eyes pop in surprise, then narrow at her dig. She had to bite her lip to keep from grinning. “Ladies let's give him a warm welcome to The Growth & Hope Center.”

  Robert walked forward slowly, a loose smile on his face. Oh he was going to get her back somehow. He didn’t know when, just that he would. So far she’d used his money and outed their connection to Andrea, who still looked like she had entered the Twilight Zone. Now she was making him perform so to speak, in front of a room full of teenage girls. Half of which couldn't stop grinning and giving him sly looks, while the other half looked at him warily. While he walked over, Mika grabbed a chair and sat it at the table.

  “Let’s start with how a gentleman should get your chair for you when you’re on a date.”

  Robert obliged her. Pulling out the chair and waiting until she lowered herself onto it. Before also helping to push the chair in closer to the table.

  “Why you gotta have help to sit? Thought ya’ll always telling us to be independent women and s-tuff.” Tamara caught herself before she cursed.

  Before any of the women could speak up, Robert did. “Because it’s not about you being capable, which you are. It’s about a man showing you basic respect. When a man is helpful in big or small ways, it shows that he cares for you. If a guy can’t show you basic respect in everyday aspects of your life, that means he’s thoughtless.”

  All the girls were attentive, as he’d used his “no-bullshit” look along with an edge to his voice.

  “Mr. Lorde is absolutely right.”

  Alysia a shyer girl, raised her hand. When Mika smiled and pointed to her she said, “Ms. Harrison, what if the guy honestly doesn’t know he’s supposed to get the chair? What do we do then?”

  Mika rose replacing the chair, then shooed Robert off to the side. “Well you should stand by your chair, then look pointedly at your date. You can give a slight head nod to the chair if he still doesn’t get it.” She demonstrated and Robert played along, looking oblivious as she stood there until she nodded her head. Hustling over to get the chair to the girl’s giggles.

  “It’s okay to stand your ground. It’s important to set the tone for how you want to be treated early in a relationship. Don’t you agree Robert?”

  There was a slight pause before he said, “Yes.”

  She stood up and went over by the door, motioning him to join her.

  “Also, whenever walking on the street with a man, you should be on the right. The farthest away from the street.”

  Mika and Robert linked arms and strolled across the room.

  “Again it’s a sign of care and respect.” Mika explained. “With you on the inside, you’re more protected. From mud splashes or a car jumping the curb.”

  “Do we have to link arms like that all the time?” A girl shouted out, her voice clearly appalled at the thought.

  Mika laughed. “No, not unless you want to. You can just be walking side by side or holding hands. Doesn’t matter as long as you’re on the inside.”

  They ran through a few more examples. A man holding the door open. How a man should shorten his stride a bit, so a woman doesn’t have to work extra hard to keep up. They demonstrated that if a man saw a woman was cold, he should loan her his jacket, assuming he had one. When Robert undid his tux and took it off, she heard a few giggles from the girls and Kimberly mutter loudly, “This is too much and not enough!”

  For the final demonstration, she had him sit down at the table where the other ladies were at before she entered the room. “Lastly young ladies, if you enter a room and there is no seating left and a male is seated, he should happily give up his seat once he’s noticed you need one...right Robert?”

  He reluctantly said yes, reminding himself this was all for impressionable young girls. He was aware she was pointing out his flaws. Truthfully a lot of these tips were similar to what he had drilled into Brihanna. Teaching her to demand respect from everyone, in particularly men. He got the message, and after last night could admit he deserved it.

  “Okay ladies, that’s it for our Male Manners class. Let's give Mr. Lorde a round of applause for helping us out today.”

  The girls did so, as Robert gave a small bow.

  “Now,” Mika continued. “Take fifteen. Clean up breakfast, then we can start on your vision boards.”

  Tamara was all smiles now, having warmed up to Robert. “Can he stay and help us with our boards?” There were murmurs of agreement around the room.

  Andrea stepped forward and shook her head. “Sorry girls. Robert can’t stay for that. Some things are girls only. Vision boards are deeply personal, and we want everyone to feel comfortable. So you can really put what you feel on the boards.”

  Amidst the groans of disappointment, the adults met at the head table, where Mika finally introduced him to everyone.

  “Thank you so much. This was a great lesson for the girls to learn, especially from a guy,” Julia declared. “I could tell they took you more seriously than they take us.”

  “Yep, they consider us ‘old’. As if we couldn’t possibly know anything about male and female interactions,” Kimberly put in. The other ladies agreed sharing a laugh.

  “Not a problem ladies. I’m glad I could help. I’d actually like to come back and talk to them about financial responsibility and investing, if you think that would be okay.”

  Julia’s eyes lit up as she was an accountant. “Absolutely! Let’s cover basic budgeting first, and then you can move to investing!”

  “We’ll look at our schedule for the year and make sure to get you in. Should be able to give you plenty of notice,” Kimberly said making notes in her planner.

  “No worries.” Robert said easily. “I’ll make time whenever you have a spot for me. These two know how to reach me.” He indicated Andrea and Mika.

  “I sure do. Let me walk you out,” Andrea offered.

  Mika followed the two as they headed toward the back door, the girls waving goodbye to Robert.

  Robert slung his arm about Andrea’s shoulders and made conversation. “How you doing A? How was your first New Year with our boy?”

  “A?” Mika questioned from behind them. “You actually let him give you a nickname? Is there anything you won’t do for Cam? You hate nicknames.”

  Andrea threw a dirty look over her shoulder. “Robert didn’t give me much choice, and it grew on me.” She turned back to the man by her side. “We had a good time. Kept it in house with our own little party. We had hats and everything. Along with a lot of champagne.”

  “I bet he got you another piece of jewelry, didn’t he?”

  Andrea let out a laugh. “Yes! You really s
hould talk to him about that. He won’t listen to me.”

  “I’ve tried. Damn boy will end up broke.” Robert exaggerated a big sigh. “Guess I’ll have to do my job better and keep making him money.”

  Andrea gave him a quick squeeze as they neared the door, then stepped back bringing the group to a stop. “You do that. I was surprised to see you...but you did a great job with the girls.”

  “I was only supposed to be dropping Mika off.” He gave Mika a half-amused, half-annoyed look. “You’ll get her home?”

  “Of course.” Andrea’s eyes danced between the two, before she shook her head a bit. “See you later. Mika don’t forget you told the girls fifteen minutes.”

  Mika had her arms crossed, staring seriously at Robert. “I know what I said, I won’t be long.”

  Biting her tongue not to snap back, Andrea turned and walked away.

  Alone, Robert grew more serious as well. “I get it. Your lessons.”

  “Good. It seemed to me you needed a refresher.”

  “Point received and taken. But to be fair I never said I was a gentleman.”

  “That’s obvious. I’m telling you to do better,” Mika said firmly.

  He slowly closed the distance between them and pulled her in for a hug, folded arms and all. Stepping back he gave her a quick kiss. “I hear you princess.”

  She finally cracked a smile and gave him a shove towards the door. “Get out of here before I figure out some other way to torture you. And put on your damn coat. I don’t play ‘nurse and patient’.”

  He was still laughing as she shut the door in his face.

  Chapter Sixteen

  ON THE DRIVE HOME ANDREA kept up casual conversation about the girls, her night with Cam, and her new jewelry acquisition. Mika played along with her, even though both women could feel the tension in the car. Andrea’s mind was racing a mile a minute. What was going on with her friend and Robert? She wasn’t afraid to ask, just wanted to wait until they got off the highway.

  Mika kept from rolling her eyes by looking out the window whenever she could. She knew Andrea was dying to find out about Robert. She also knew her friend was probably waiting for the right moment or hoping Mika would volunteer the information. She hadn’t been thinking clearly when the scheme to teach Robert a lesson popped into her mind. Figuring if he could come to her home marking his perceived territory like a caveman; then she could display him in front of whoever she wanted. She just hadn’t thought about the conversation she would have to have with her best friend after the fact.

  Andrea parked in Mika’s driveway, but left it running for the heat. She turned as Mika unbuckled her seatbelt.

  “Thanks for the ride. Sorry to make you come all the way out here.”

  “The ride...is not the problem.”

  “Is there a problem?” Mika testily asked.

  “Should there be a problem?” Andrea responded in kind.

  “No, so I guess there isn’t.”

  There was silence. Andrea softened her tone and asked even though it felt awkward. “So...how is he...you know?”

  “Fantastic of course. Why do you think I’m dealing with him?”

  “Really? He seems so serious, a little bit reserved sometimes.”

  “He can be.” Mika smiled a little. “I’m going to call him ‘focused’ and that can be a very good thing when it comes to the bedroom.”

  After another unnatural pause Andrea turned forward in her seat.

  Mika was still tired, having used up her limited energy on the girls. She just wanted to get this over with, followed by a long nap.

  But Andrea beat her to it snapping around in her seat to ask, “So, what exactly is going on with you two? Are you dating? A couple? What? How long have you been seeing each other?”

  “It’s been going on a while.”

  “What’s a while Mika?”

  “A few months give or take.”

  “What! Why in the world didn’t you mention this?”

  Mika shrugged defensively. “I don’t know. I mean I didn’t think it was a big deal at first. I figured we’d get sick of each other, and it would fizzle out.”

  “Apparently it didn't, and you still never said a word.” Andrea knew Mika’s excuse was crappy. The woman always mentioned whoever she was dating, no matter what.

  “When did it become mandatory that I tell you everything? We’re hooking up, it’s not a big deal.”

  “Oh, so you bringing ‘hook-ups’ around the girls now?” Andrea said in disbelief. “What was that show this morning about since we on it?”

  “That was me reminding myself of something important and teaching the girls some life lessons at the same time.”

  When Andrea rolled her eyes and shook her head, Mika felt her temper spike. “Just what is your problem with this anyway? Why do you care if we’re sleeping together?”

  “Because he’s Cam’s best friend! This could get real messy.”

  “He’s his best friend not his daddy. We’re both adults. Any blowback is not your problem.”

  “Oh bullshit Mika! You know that’s not true. If you hurt him, it will affect us all.”

  “If I hurt him? What do you mean by that?”

  “I mean I know he’s not your type and I know you don’t keep a guy around for long. I just don’t understand why you didn’t pick someone else to play with instead of my husband's closest friend!”

  “Wait just a damn minute! You acting like Robert is some soft, callow schoolboy and I’m some pedo teacher who has lured him into a sexual trap.” Mika was livid. “He is a grown-ass man, older than us both in case you missed it. His reputation with women is not so shiny either. We both agreed to be booty-calls to the other. No one was taken advantage of, least of all him. I’m your best friend. But you don’t seem to be worried that I might get hurt!”

  Andrea threw up her arms. “Because you don’t take relationships seriously! From what I saw this morning you got that man's nose wide open! The Robert I know would never have let you puppeteer him like you did this morning. You claiming it’s just hooking up, but maybe it’s more to him. I mean you spent New Year’s Eve together!”

  At the mention of that fiasco Mika had enough! “You know what? I’m done! You are out of line, it’s not your business and you need to mind your own!”

  Mika threw open the car door and got out.

  “Well that I believe, since you hid it from me for months! Sounds like a guilty conscious to me!” Andrea yelled right back. She instantly knew she had gone too far when Mika’s features hardened. Her friend slammed the door before stomping into the house without another word.

  MIKA HAD SLEPT LATE into the evening on Sunday, and when she woke spent the next few hours with her headphones on immersing herself in work. Anything to keep her mind occupied. When she got tired of that she took a rare sleeping pill and slept until Monday morning. They had the day off since the holiday had fallen on a weekend. She spent it with her phone turned off, eating junk food and binge-watching action movies. Late Monday she finally returned her mother’s call and completely ignored the texts and calls from Andrea.

  Being back in the office on Tuesday was an actual relief, though all anyone could talk about was the holiday. She was trying to forget about hers. At around noon a flower delivery arrived. A single huge, purple Hydrangea. By three the receptionist was escorting another delivery person to her office.

  This time with a fairly large box, expertly wrapped. She opened the card first.

  Trust...I felt it

  R.L.

  She knew it must be the dress. How in the world had he been able to find something between Sunday and Monday? Shaking her head she lifted the lid and gasped. Inside was a ruby red gown. The top portion wasn’t exactly like her last one, this one hanging just off the shoulders, creating a C shape on her chest. The cut was lower and would expose the top swell of her breasts but still be tasteful.

  What caught her eye were the jewels that lined the silver collar, alte
rnating rubies and diamonds—real ones—across the whole arch. Lifting the dress out the box she stood up to see the rest of it. Like the previous dress it had a split to the knee. At the waist there was a two-inch silver band that would make the shape of her hips and behind stand out. The band was littered with crystals and more rubies thrown into the mix. There was nothing muted about this dress. As she was about to repack it she noticed there was a small bag in the box. Shaking the contents out to reveal a pair of ruby red panties! They were so skimpy Mika assumed they must be for decoration only. She hurried to fold the dress back into the box and texted him.

  Mika: You can’t send something like this to my job!

  Robert: Yet I did

  Mika: Half the office is breaking their neck to see what I got

  Robert: Did you like it?

  She loved it, but refused to tell him that.

  Mika: It looks expensive...so it will do

  Robert: I’ll call you tonight

  She didn’t respond. At this point, she didn’t know whether she was looking forward to talking to him or not. But she loved her dress!

  CAM SET ANDREA UP IN a nice bubble bath with a glass of wine. He figured that would buy him at least thirty minutes of peace and he could make his call. She had come home on Sunday from her Center meeting in a bad mood, waving him off when he asked what was wrong. Then Monday rolled around and she was clearly still upset, as he watched her mumbled to herself when she thought no one was listening. By dinnertime he demanded to know what was wrong.

  Andrea had narrowed her eyes at him and then pointed an accusing finger. “I bet you knew, didn’t you?”

  “Clue me in.”

  Her eyes narrowed even more, if that was possible. “Two words, Mika...Robert.”

  At that point about ten different scenarios had flashed through his mind. All with three basic themes; lie, evade, or tell the truth. Apparently, he took too long to decide.

  “Why didn’t you tell me? How long have you known?”

  “Easy baby.” Cam threw up his hands. “Only about two weeks or so.”