Not My Type

by Taylor Love

  He’d helped guide his older cousins to maximize the incomes they had to sustain their growing households. Since he and Thomas were the oldest they were seen as the “rocks” of both families. Well on the male side at least. His mother and Aunt Dolores were the true foundations, and always would be. Their strength of raising six kids on the west side of Detroit, all of which had survived the streets to become productive citizens, deserved that crown.

  His family looked to him as a fixer of any problems that arose. It was in his DNA to take care of those he cared about. So it had felt like a stab to the chest, when Mika thought he hadn’t protected her. That he’d purposely cosign her to the uncertainty of being a single mother. The salt in his wound was when she accused him of lying on top of everything else.

  As if he would ever downplay something as serious as a child? Did she think he would deny his own kid? He would have taken care of his child and been in their life if a pregnancy had resulted. Did she think so little of him? These types of thoughts rotated through his mind and infuriated him. Her actions told him she didn’t trust him enough...he was not his father! He wouldn’t run when shit got real and responsibility came knocking on his door. He hadn’t at five years old, and he wouldn’t at thirty-two.

  His upbringing was the reason he was always hesitant to commit to any woman. When you made promises there was the potential of breaking them. He had dreaded when mama got her hopes up, only to be disappointed again. He never wanted to see the disappointment and hope drain out his own kid’s eyes, as it had for him and Brihanna. His father's blood ran in his veins and he worried about those traits coming to the forefront. He refused to be a lazy coward, wasting his potential or talent. Letting down the people who needed and loved him the most. As an adult he kept his circle small. It was probably best Mika was no longer in it.

  Robert shook off all his depressing thoughts, rising to go fix himself another drink. It was Thursday night, one more day left to get through the work week. He’d been bringing more and more work home so his mind didn’t conjure up a curly-haired diva with a mischievous smile. Thinking of mischievous women he needed to make up with his sister too. There had been silence from her end which was unusual as Brihanna didn’t know how to take no for an answer or tolerate losing any better than he did.

  He picked up his phone intending to give her a call while it was on his mind, and saw a text he’d missed.

  Mama: I’m going to call you in a few minutes and you’re going to pick up that phone Robert Lorde. Don't make me call twice!

  Robert grimaced. His mother rarely texted him, preferring the old school method of talking on the phone. When his phone rang less than a minute later he picked it up even though it was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

  “Hey, Mama. Is everything okay?”

  “Does something have to be wrong for a mother to talk to her only son?”

  “I guess not, since we’re talking,” he said with dry amusement.

  “Don’t get smart with me. I’m not in the mood for it after you've been dodging me for weeks. What’s going on with you? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine Ma. You know you don’t have to worry about me.”

  “Son, I’m your mother. I’ll always worry about you. Now please tell me what’s going on...talk to me.”

  After a long pause he decided he might as well. They’d always been open and honest with each other. Their family unit of three had always been that way. They were all they had. Trust, communication, and working together had been essential to survive. He gave her a quick rundown of his and Mika’s relationship, such as it was. Then he shared everything that had happened over Valentine’s Day weekend. When he was finished, his mother didn’t say anything for a while, just a couple of “hmm’s”, as was her habit when she was thinking.

  “I’m sorry to hear this happened. She seemed like a lovely woman actually. I liked her spirit. Are you sure you can’t work this out? She did apologize for overreacting and handling the situation poorly.”

  “Handling the situation poorly is an understatement. Mama she basically accused me of purposely forgetting the condom, which I didn’t at all. Didn’t believe me either when I told her I’d worn one! Like I was some trifling-ass man who didn’t give a damn about her or myself. She didn’t trust me to protect her!”

  “Son a woman wants to believe in a man...but the reality is we never know.” Johanna sighed heavily. “The consequences for us can be severe. You think I thought your daddy was gon up and leave me with two kids? And we were married! I chose him thinking he was ready for marriage, for kids. He damn sure was there when we were making them.”

  Johanna paused to let that sink in. “I know it’s not fair but try to look at it from her view. Ya’ll are barely dating, just a few months ago at Thanksgiving you were calling her a friend when you clearly were more. She freaked out, and I can’t say I blame her. But if she apologized and realized her mistake...well just think about it. Try not to let your hard head lead you away from your heart.”

  “My heart has nothing to do with it. It’s about who I am as a man. She clearly doesn’t know me or respect me.”

  “Oh Robert, you’re still lying to yourself. Your heart has everything to do with it. I know it can hurt to put yourself out there. But you taught us all that without any risk, there can be no reward.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  WHILE MIKA WAS THANKFUL it was Friday quitting time couldn't come fast enough! Everyone at work was getting on her nerves! It was only noon but she decided to get out the office for lunch though food wasn’t really on her mind. Mika had lost her appetite, something that had never happened before over a man. So instead of picking up food she was just walking, occasionally looking into storefronts. Walking past a flower shop she stopped dead in her tracks, as the name on the window got her attention. This was the shop Robert got her flowers from. She went inside before she could think better of it.

  “Is there something I can help you with or would you like to look around?” A pretty black woman asked looking up from the bouquet she was making.

  “I’ll look around for a bit.”

  “No problem...take your time.” The clerk went right back to working on her arrangement.

  Mika was already distracted as well, making her way through the surprisingly large store, looking at various flowers and gifts. Recognizing some of the flowers invoked a lot of memories. She had never figured out why Robert sent the odd number of flowers. Though she had actually liked that they were never the normal dozen or half-dozen. The uniqueness of wondering what she would get at the beginning of most work weeks had been exciting. She took her time browsing and didn’t know how long it had been before a voice made her jump.

  “Sorry about the wait. I’m Yolanda, is there anything I can help you find?”

  “No, not really. I don’t even know why I’m in here.”

  “Oh it’s okay, sometimes it’s hard to focus after you’ve lost a loved one. But we can do anything you can think of.”

  Was she giving out depression vibes that strong that the lady thought someone had died? Although losing a boyfriend, man-friend, sex-buddy—hell whatever he had been might count. “No one died.”’

  The clerk smiled relieved. “Glad to hear it! Were you looking for anything in particular?”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t even know why I came in. A friend used to send me flowers from here all the time. They were always so beautiful. When I walked by and noticed the shop I decided to come in.”

  “That’s excellent! I love it when our work makes an impression! Do you mind sharing your name? Maybe I’ll remember one of the arrangements. I do a big bulk of them.”

  “My name is Mika, but I doubt you’ll remember. I’m sure you do so many.” When the woman's mouth dropped Mika could tell she was wrong.

  “Oh my goodness, you're the Mika!” The woman looked her up and down several times. Mika decided not to take offense since she was grinning as she did it. “You work for
an ad agency right?”

  “Yes that’s me.” This was getting a little weird.

  “Rhonda won’t believe I met you! Girl congrats on having such a dedicated and romantic man! Where did you find him? And are there two more like him for me and my cousin?”

  Mika laughed, shaking her head. “He’s not my man. And he’s not romantic. You sure you got the right guy?”

  “Oh honey, I’m sure.” Yolanda fanned herself before continuing. “Over six feet, dressed to the nines. Dark chocolate with an intense businessman vibe about him. Full sexy lips—”

  “Okay, okay. That sounds like Robert.” Mika rushed to cut the woman off before the weirdness reared up another notch.

  “Yes! Robert Lorde! Even the name makes you want to drop your panties!”

  “I get it.” Where had the professional shop owner gone? “But just because he orders flowers that you put together for him, doesn’t make him romantic.” Why was she trying to burst this woman’s bubble? Why was she still in this store? And why was this woman looking at her like she was the messed up one?

  “We put them together yes, but we never decided what went out. Most of the time that fine-ass man—excuse my language—walked into the store and picked out each flower himself.”

  “He what?”

  “You heard me. He’d come in early in the morning, and I got to admit seeing him was better than a cup of coffee to get me going! Only thing we did was arrange, wrap and deliver them.”

  “That doesn’t sound like something he’d do,” Mika mumbled more to herself than the lady.

  “Well, he did. As owners we would have preferred he get the normal dozen or half-dozen. I even asked him the first two times to just give us a budget and we’d put something nice together for him but he refused. No offense, but he said the flowers were for a woman who was very picky, so he had to get it just right.”

  “Now that sounds like something he’d say.”

  “All I know is men who normally come inside are trying to “make up” for something. They just want us to put together an arrangement quickly. They don’t take time to hand-select anything. Tell me how you snagged a man like that? This is so inappropriate but I’m thirty-five and will take any tips I can get. What kind of voodoo do you do in the bedroom to get that man hooked?”

  “Excuse me!” Even as Mika said it she cringed because she sounded as snooty as her mother.

  Looking around to make sure they remained alone, the clerk continued. “You don’t have to be shy we’re grown adults. Look I know about the reason he gives you such odd numbers of flowers, mixing up the variety.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes, and don’t worry he was a gentleman. We kept asking him why he picked your flowers out the way he did. He answered one day when he was kinda distracted. Saying they were an expression of the time he spent with you. That each flower represented a moment between you two. Now like I said he wasn’t crass about it, but he had the kind of satisfied half-smile on his face that didn’t make me think he was just talking about dates.”

  While Mika felt her jaw go slack, she watched the woman’s expression go soft and dreamy.

  “Sometimes he would call the store in advance and request a specialty flower. Those are harder to come by blooms that our customers can pay a premium for as we get them from a larger florist.”

  Mika felt her throat tighten. “I didn’t know any of this.”

  “It’s so rare to find a man like that.” Yolanda turned her head as the store bell tinkled announcing another customer. “I got a kick out of meeting you! I’m going to go help this customer but please let me know if you need anything. I’ll give you a 30% discount since your man spends so much with us.”

  Mika slipped out the door as soon as the clerk got busy. She spent the rest of the workday in a daze and the drive home was no different. Once home her mind kept running over what she had learned, trying to make it fit into the Robert she thought she knew. She ate dinner but didn’t taste a thing. After taking her shower early and getting into bedclothes, she laid down on the couch and turned on a random show. Her mind focused on processing everything from Brihanna to the flower shop bombshell. Robert apparently had other sides to him. A protector and helper to his family, and a closet romantic who handpicked flowers. Filled with symbolism and meaning, while putting his personal touch on each arrangement. On her walk back to work she had looked up the meaning of a yellow Chrysanthemum. One of the meanings symbolized neglected love and sorrow...the last flower he’d sent her after their fight.

  When she thought back she realized he’d done a dozen little things to show her he really cared about her. Like always putting her car up in his garage, so she didn’t have to deal with the weather. Even doing things out of his comfort zone, like taking her to the zoo and talking to the girls at the center.

  Robert wasn’t a grand gesture kind of guy, which was probably why she liked him. With him you knew that when he did make a kind or sweet gesture, he meant it. He wasn’t a bull-shitter, didn’t do things for appearances’ sake or even to spare someone’s feelings. He was truthful and direct. He would have never lied to her about that condom, even if a mistake had been made.

  She groaned in misery. Her own stupidity and fear had set this whole thing in motion. Rolling from the couch to the floor she slowly sat up before grabbing her phone. She called the one person who could help her make sense of everything.

  ANDREA WAS JUST COMING down the steps when her cell rang. She saw it was Mika and hurriedly answered. “Hey.” Her bestie had been tight-lipped since her breakup and Andrea was ecstatic she was reaching out.

  “Hey,” Mika replied softly.

  Andrea allowed the silence on the phone to last a few beats before asking, “What can I do?”

  “Can you come over?”

  “Give me forty-five,” Andrea said immediately.

  “Thank you.”

  “No thanks needed, that’s what I’m here for.”

  Andrea hung up and went to the kitchen where Cam was making a sandwich. “Hey, I’m going over to Mika’s, not sure what time I’ll be back.”

  Stopping what he was doing, he went to give her a quick kiss. “No problem. Just text me when you’re on your way home. Let me know if you need anything.”

  “Will do.”

  “Give her my love.”

  Andrea hugged him. “No can do. I keep your love just for me. Call me selfish.”

  “I like it! My baby possessive!” He gave her a soft tap on the behind. “You’re turning me on. You betta get out of here before you get detained.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  ANDREA HAD STAYED FOR over three hours last night, not going home until close to midnight. Mika had filled her in on everything since she’d last seen her. Andrea felt all of Robert’s behavior showed that he cared about her and was even falling in love; he just didn’t know how to say it out loud. When it came to the flowers Andrea had gotten the same sappy look in her eye as the clerk. It just so happened Mika had kept a picture of every arrangement he’d ever sent her, guess she was sappy as well. The two had combed the internet for the meanings of each flower as Mika thought back on their time together before each arrival, it all added up.

  He had been expressing his feelings the whole time. Slowly but surely his feelings had been getting stronger. She had been ill-equipped to see it, being as she hadn’t known what genuine affection looked like. Mika was used to men seeing her body, wanting to hang out just for fun, either in or outside the bedroom.

  She had cried a little, then a lot after that inner revelation. Andrea offering her hugs and wine. The latter of which she had declined and Andrea had promptly declared her either ill or in love. As the night went on Andrea said she believed Robert would come around as he was obviously missing her, per Brihanna’s report. Andrea also pointed out how Robert had pursued her all this time. How he basically initiated every date or face-to-face interaction they’d had. Mika had been surprised that this had never dawn
ed on her before.

  Her friend felt a man like Robert who never chased women, had to care an awful lot to put himself out there like he had with her. That he was sensible to a fault and would calm down and try to sort this out. Mika wasn’t so sure of that, reminding Andrea how he’d treated her in his office. Andrea had waved that away, saying men could be more vindictive and hold grudges longer than women. Just look at how “easygoing” Cam had frozen her out completely for months!

  That reminder had shifted the conversation to Andrea’s tales of married life. Mika allowed her stories to distract her and make her laugh. It actually made her feel better to see how in love and happy her best friend was. It sparked a little ember of hope in her own heart. When Andrea was leaving she gave me an extra-hard hug and the same advice I’d given her—not to wait too long before making it right. Although she followed that up by saying she had a feeling Robert would be gracing my doorstep soon.

  Now it was Saturday the next day and Mika felt more clearheaded. It was around three in the afternoon as she was worked up the courage to call Robert. Pacing up and down the hallway with the phone in her hand. Eventually her legs carried her to the kitchen.

  “Maybe I’ll have a small glass of wine first.”

  She poured a nice smooth red and continued pacing, this time in the kitchen. She knew she was stalling. In the past a big argument with a man meant she deleted their number and never saw them again. So this uncomfortable situation of trying to work through issues was foreign to her. Just as her finger was about to bring his number up, she heard her bell ring.

  “Ugh...I’m not expecting anyone.” She quickly did a mental check to see if she had any packages arriving, but concluded she hadn’t ordered anything in a while. Pulling up her security app that allowed her to see who was outside, she almost dropped the phone. It was Robert!