Out in the Open

by Glazer, J B

  On Friday Michelle pops by to see if I want to head downstairs with her to happy hour.

  “Thanks for the offer, but I’m going to pass today. I have that benefit tomorrow and need to go home and do some final preparations.”

  “I forgot that was tomorrow. I’d like to donate. Can I bring you a check on Monday?”

  “Sure. That’s very thoughtful. You can bring a check or donate online.”

  “Oh, I can donate online? I’d rather do that.”

  “The link is on the sheet outside my office.”

  “Perfect. I hope it goes well. Have fun!”

  “Thanks. Have a great weekend.”

  I go home and find I don’t have that much to do. I make a few calls to confirm delivery times then make myself a frozen dinner, as I’m not in the mood to cook. My phone rings, and I see that it’s my younger sister, Tara.

  “Hey, Tar. What’s up?”

  “Hi, Lex. I just wanted to see how you’re doing and if there’s anything I can help with.”

  “Thanks. I think everything is pretty much taken care of.”

  “Do you want me to come early to help you set up?”

  “Sure. I could use your eye.” I ask her about college and her love life. She tells me she’s dating a new guy. “Are you going to bring him to the benefit?”

  “No. We’ve only been going out a few weeks.”

  “Well, keep me posted.”

  “I will. See you tomorrow.” I wish my love life were as active as Tara’s. Every time I talk to her, she’s going out with someone new.

  I wake up early on Saturday and head straight to the hotel. I spend the day setting up and making sure everything is in order. I’m glad I have Tara to give input; she’s great with space planning. She’s one of those people who think best visually. I, on the other hand, work best when I write things down. I head home late in the afternoon to run some last-minute errands and get ready. When I return to the hotel, I spy Jules, Tara, and my parents talking with the DJ. I wander over and give them each a hug and tell them the place looks fantastic.

  My mom beams at me and says, “Lexi, you made most of the decisions.”

  We chose square tables with three different-size flower arrangements in tall, clear vases. They’re all in various shades of pink, my Aunt Lynne’s favorite color. Interspersed are small votive candles in square, glass holders. The tablecloths are white satin with a silver organza overlay, and both fabrics are also draped behind the dance floor. We rented matching silver-backed ballroom chairs with white seat cushions. I wanted to create an elegant yet fun affair, so we brought in various-size lanterns that are suspended from the ceiling over the dance floor. The lighting is soft and gives the room a warm, pink glow. Tables are set up at the back of the room with appetizer stations, which later will turn into a dessert bar. I walk around and read the placards to double-check that the menu is right.

  Jules comes over and says, “Everything looks perfect. Aunt Lynne would have been proud.”

  I look around and know she would have loved this event. Ironically it’s almost like I planned a wedding. I wonder if I’ll ever plan another event like it.

  Slowly people start to arrive. Liv and Jason, Simon, Sydney, Jill, Melanie, and a few friends from college are coming. I didn’t mention the benefit to that many people at work because the tickets cost $250. Instead I put a sign-up sheet outside my office with a note that said donations were welcome. Jill and Melanie are my first friends to arrive.

  “Lexi,” Mel exclaims. “You look fantastic!”

  “God, I’d kill to have your body,” says Jill.

  “And I’d kill to have your height,” I reply. “You all look great too.”

  “I love your dress,” says Mel. “Very regal.”

  I’m wearing a deep-purple, V-neck, floor-length satin gown that fits me perfectly. It’s the first dress I’ve ever bought that didn’t need alterations. I had my hair done this afternoon; Marco styled it down in soft, loose waves. Afterward I went to buy new mascara at Nordstrom, and the woman ended up doing my makeup. She gave me smoky eyes and pale-pink, glossy lips. It’s a bit more dramatic than I’m used to, but I’m happy with the effect. Just then I spy Simon walking in.

  “Simon, thanks for coming,” I say, throwing my arms around him.

  “Lexi, you’re like a sexy Greek goddess,” he responds, holding me at arm’s length so he can admire my dress.

  “Thanks,” I say with a laugh. “You look nice too.”

  He’s wearing a black pinstriped suit with a lavender tie and matching handkerchief. I introduce him to my friends.

  “We’ve heard so much about you,” says Jill.

  “Come. Let’s get a drink,” I tell them.

  We make our way to the bar, and things are in full swing. There’s a large crowd on the dance floor, and others are mingling by the food stations. As I look toward the entrance, my heart drops. In walks Jake looking very sharp in a three-piece suit. I had no idea he was coming.

  I glance at Simon, who shrugs. “I may have mentioned something to him,” he says innocently.

  Jake spies us and makes his way over to the bar. “Hi, Lexi, Simon,” he says.

  “Hi,” I say, not able to keep the surprise out of my voice. “I didn’t know you were coming. I checked the guest list today, and your name wasn’t on it.”

  “I bought my ticket at the door. Simon told me about the event; I figured we should have representation from the agency.”

  Of course he has to make it about work. God forbid he should want to come on his own accord. Jake says hi to my friends, and I introduce him to Jason. I’m surprised they haven’t run into each other before, especially since Jason lives down the street from him.

  As we’re talking, my mom comes over. “Jill, Melanie, Sydney, so good to see you,” she says warmly.

  “Mom, these are two of my coworkers, Simon and Jake.”

  “Wonderful to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you both.” Jake looks pleased, but I’m ready to kill her. “It’s just that Lexi speaks so highly about all her coworkers,” my mom says, trying to recover.

  “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Winters,” says Jake. “Now I see where Lexi gets her good looks.”

  “Aren’t you sweet?” my mom says. “Please call me Anne.” Then she turns to me. “Lexi, I could use your help at the gift-bag table.” As I follow her, she remarks, “Jake’s adorable. He’s obviously very smitten with you, or he wouldn’t have come.”

  “I don’t think so. He said he wanted to represent the company.”

  “Well, he could have sent someone else. He didn’t have to come personally. Plus Simon is here.”

  She has a point, but I’m sick of trying to analyze his intentions.

  The night flies by, and I’m busy chatting with my parents’ friends and putting out small fires. I’ve hardly had a chance to talk to my friends, so I make my way over to them. Jill, Melanie, Sydney and Liv are standing at the dessert table. “This cake is to die for,” says Jill. “Have a piece.” I accept a slice of white chocolate cake drizzled with raspberry sauce and taste it. It’s divine.

  “How are things going?” Liv asks.

  “Good. Only a few issues, but nothing I couldn’t handle.”

  “I can’t believe Jake showed up,” she whispers to me.

  “I know, me either. I’ve been doing my best to ignore him these past few weeks. I don’t know what to make of it.”

  Just then the DJ puts on “Run” by Matt Nathanson. I love this song and haven’t heard it in a long time. I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around.

  “I believe I owe you a dance,” says Jake.

  “Yes, I believe you do,” I reply, thinking back to when he turned down my invitation at the karaoke bar. That feels like ages ago, yet here we are, still in the same place. I set the cake on a nearby table, and he takes my hand, leading me to the dance floor. He pulls me close as we begin swaying to the music, but I try to maintain some distance.

  �
��So,” he says, “it’s a great event.”

  “I’m happy with the way everything turned out. I won’t know what to do with myself once it’s over. I’ve spent so long helping my mom plan it. But don’t worry,” I tell him a bit sarcastically, “not on company time.”

  Jake ignores this comment. “When did your aunt pass away?”

  “Three years ago. She was fifty-one.”

  “I take it you were close to her?”

  “Yes, and my mom and Lynne were super close. We spent all our holidays together and I saw her all the time. She always wanted a daughter but had three sons, so she treated me like I was one of her own. It’s still hard.”

  “I’m sorry,” he says sincerely. We continue our dance in silence, and then he comments, “You don’t stop by my office anymore.”

  “I’ve been busy.” I look around at the other couples on the dance floor. I look everywhere but at Jake.

  “Hey,” he says, taking my chin in his hand so I’m forced to look at him. “I like when you stop by my office. I’ve missed our talks.” He pauses then says, “I’ve missed you.”

  Oh. I don’t reply because I’m not sure what to say. He looks at me, trying to gauge my reaction, but I remain silent. “I feel like I owe you an apology. I’m sorry I’ve been giving you mixed signals,” he says quietly.

  Finally he’s being honest with me. “Just make up your mind already,” I respond.

  “Lexi, I made up my mind a long time ago not to get involved with anyone at work. But then you came along, and it’s taken all my willpower not to change it.” I don’t know how to take his comment. Obviously he hasn’t given in yet. Then he says, “You look beautiful tonight, Lexi. And it’s not just because you’re dressed up. You’re so passionate about this benefit and everything you do that you have this glow. I’m in awe of you.” Whoa. I meet his gaze and smile at him, a shy smile. “There it is,” he says. “I’ve missed that smile.”

  Suddenly I’m so tired. I’m tired of being aloof and constantly not acting like myself so he won’t think I’m into him. I’m not bitchy by nature, and it’s exhausting. I feel myself relax in his arms. I think Jake senses it too, because he holds me tighter, and his touch is strong and reassuring. I’ve never been this close to him before. He’s intoxicating—a mix of something comforting and familiar with the promise of something new. His face is inches from mine, and it takes every fiber of my being not to pull him in for a kiss. As we dance, all my senses are heightened; I smell the distinctly earthy scent of his aftershave, feel the rise and fall of his chest with each breath, and practically touch the heat that emanates from his body. I listen to the music, and as the words wash over me, all I can think is how fitting the lyrics are. Yes, Jake. I know that it’s wrong, but still I run right into you.

  “What’s this song?” Jake asks.

  “‘Run’ by Matt Nathanson.”

  “I like it,” he whispers in my ear.

  I shiver, and he pulls me even closer, resting his cheek against mine. As the song ends, I reluctantly pull away, but Jake doesn’t let go of my hand. Instead he pulls me back toward him, and I feel vulnerable under his intense gaze, which is broken when my mom walks up to the podium and asks for everyone’s attention. As she begins her speech, I want to listen, but I’m so distracted. Jake is holding my hand, in public, while gently caressing my back with his free hand as she speaks. I’m freaking out. I catch Liv’s eye, and she gives me a knowing look. She and I have so much to discuss later. I turn my attention back to my mom, who’s talking about my aunt and how much she would have loved to be at this party. Then she thanks me and says that she couldn’t have put together such a successful event without my help. She asks me to come up on stage. Jake slowly unravels his fingers from mine and gives me an encouraging look. Nervously I walk up to the podium. I didn’t plan on speaking, so I’m not prepared. I wish my mom had mentioned that she wanted me to say a few words. I’m not one of those off-the-cuff speakers; I like to have what I’m going to say planned out.

  “Thank you all for coming to the Third Annual Lynne Sachman Benefit. It means so much to my family and me to have your support behind such an important cause. In the United States, breast cancer claims the lives of almost forty thousand women annually, and a new diagnosis is made every three minutes. But thanks to generous people like you, there are survivors. Your donations will help fund programs that give patients access to quality care and also will help fund research to find a cure. If I have a daughter someday, my dream is that she’ll never know the terrible effects of this disease. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping to make a difference. You’ve touched not only our lives but also those of countless other women.”

  Everyone applauds as I make my way back to my friends. I’m stopped along the way by many well-wishers, telling me what a great event this is and how touching my speech was. Finally I find the table where my friends are sitting.

  “Great speech, Lexi,” says Liv.

  “Yes,” my friends echo in agreement.

  I look at Jake, and he smiles at me. “You never cease to amaze me,” he says.

  I blush and can’t erase the smile from my face. The DJ announces it’s the last song.

  “That’s our cue,” says Jason. “I like to leave before the crowd.” He looks at Jake and says, “Hey, want a ride home? You’re on the way.”

  Jake looks uncertain then replies, “Yeah, sure.”

  Liv hugs me and whispers, “I’m going to kill him.”

  “Don’t worry,” I whisper back. “As you’ve said, guys are clueless.”

  Simon stands up and says he’s leaving too. I give him a huge hug and thank him for coming. Jake is standing right next to him. He says goodbye to me, and I lean in and give him a soft, lingering kiss on the cheek. I can tell he’s surprised by the gesture.

  “Thank you so much for coming,” I tell him. “It means a lot to me.”

  “I’m happy I came,” he says.

  I watch them walk out and feel slightly worried. What if this was my only chance with Jake? I’m sure he’ll come to his senses in the morning, and we’ll be back to where we started: nowhere.

  I stop by Jake’s office on Monday morning.

  “Hi.” I smile at him nervously.

  “Hi,” he says, beaming back at me.

  I instantly feel relieved. “I wanted to say thanks again for coming on Saturday, and I wanted to give you this. You won the silent auction for the iPad.”

  “Oh, I hoped you were coming by because you wanted to see me. Why don’t you hold on to it? It’s actually a gift for you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I bid on it for you. I already have an iPad.” I stare at him incredulously. “Welcome to the twenty-first century, Wilma.”

  “I can’t believe you bought me an iPad.”

  “I didn’t buy it. I donated to a worthy cause and happened to bid on an item you needed.”

  “I can’t accept it,” I tell him.

  “That’s fine. Do with what you want with it. The funds are already going to one worthy cause—why not let it solve another?” He has a point. He senses I’m relenting and says, “You’ll love it. I take it you have Wi-Fi?”

  “Yes,” I reply, rolling my eyes. “I have Wi-Fi. Thank you,” I say, turning serious. “This is very generous of you.”

  “I told you, it’s for a worthy cause. And I don’t mean you.”

  “Gee, thanks,” I say sarcastically. His phone rings, interrupting our conversation.

  “I have to take this. See you later,” he says in a somewhat questioning tone.

  “See you,” I affirm.

  I leave his office and sense things are different between us. Or maybe it’s just that I’m different. The benefit seems to have been a turning point in our relationship. I walk back to my office with a renewed sense of hope.

  I’m in a meeting with Michelle when Simon stops by my office. “Come in,” I tell him. “We’re just finishing up.” Once Michelle l
eaves, Simon closes my door and sits down. “I’ve been meaning to stop by to thank you again for coming on Saturday,” I say. “It’s just been such a crazy day that I haven’t had the chance.”

  “It was my pleasure. How do you think things went?”

  “I think they went well. The proceeds from the silent auction exceeded what we raised last year.”

  “That’s all well and good, but I meant with Jake.”

  “Oh,” I smile. “That seemed to go well too.”

  “I noticed.”

  “He bought me an iPad.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He bid on it in the silent auction—for me.” He looks confused, so I add, “One time we were talking about technology, and I made a comment that I didn’t have an iPad but would like one.”

  “Interesting. Are things back on then?”

  “I think so. I can’t explain it, but things feel different between us. I don’t know…Maybe it’s just me resuming how I was acting before. I can only hope there’s a different outcome this time.”

  “Trust me—you and Jake getting together is inevitable.”

  “I don’t know. This is what we do. He flirts; I get my hopes up; and then he backs off. Do you really think it’s for real this time?”

  “Lexi, I may be gay, but I’m not blind. That boy has it bad for you.”

  I laugh. “Tell me, what should I do?”

  Simon looks thoughtful for a minute then says, “I think you need alcohol. Lots of alcohol.”

  On Tuesday morning Jake stops by my office. He seems stressed.

  “Hey, everything OK?” I ask.

  “Nigel’s wife went into labor three weeks early. He’s not coming to San Francisco.”

  “Oh, that’s too bad. What are you going to do?”

  “I was hoping you would come.”

  “Me? You want me to present?”

  “Yes.”

  “But Jake, I’m not a planner.”

  “I know that, but you’re familiar with all the work, and you helped uncover our key insight. You attended the research sessions, so you know our consumer. You’re closer to it than any planner I could pull in. Plus, with your background, you have the right credentials. I’ve already cleared it with Morgan.”