Out in the Open

by Glazer, J B

  “Oh, it’s good. Are you expecting a big turnout?”

  “We’ll have around twenty people. I wanted to keep it small, but it’s Lance’s favorite holiday.”

  “I’m really looking forward to meeting him.”

  “And he you. So what are your plans for the holidays?”

  “I’m not sure. I haven’t broached the subject with Jake yet. You?”

  “We’re going to Vermont to visit Lance’s family. We do Thanksgiving with mine and Christmas with his.”

  “It’s nice that you’ve split it up that way. I’m sure having a set plan avoids a lot of family drama.”

  “Oh, there’s still drama,” he says, “but it definitely helps.”

  I look at my watch. “I’ve got to go to a status meeting,” I tell him.” See you this weekend.”

  “See you.”

  It’s the Saturday of Simon’s Halloween party. I spend the afternoon in the suburbs trick-or-treating with Charlie, Scott, and Jules. I’ve never been that into Halloween, but there’s something endearing about watching kids experience the magic of dressing up and getting excited over each piece of candy. I don’t get back to my apartment until after six. Jake is coming by in an hour so we can get dressed then head to Simon’s. I take a quick shower, dry my hair, and put on my costume sans the wig. I also eat a light snack. I know Simon will have tons of food there, but I never like to walk into a party hungry. Jake knocks on my door around seven. He’s already dressed, with his hair parted to the side, like I suggested.

  “I like your hair like that,” I tell him.

  “Thanks. I actually may consider wearing it this way for a change.”

  When I put on my wig and apply a fresh coat of hot-pink lipstick, Jake makes a face. “What? It’s part of my character. Are you ready to go?”

  “I’m ready.”

  I grab the bottle of Johnnie Walker Black I picked up earlier, and we’re out the door.

  Simon and Lance live in a contemporary townhouse in Lakeview. We walk in, and the place is decked out with Halloween decor—all done tastefully of course. I almost don’t recognize Simon—he is supposed to be Belle and is wearing a beautiful yellow ball gown and a brown wig that’s styled in an elegant updo.

  “Seriously, how is it that you’re prettier than me?” I say as I kiss him hello. “Who did your makeup?”

  “I did.”

  “Nice job. You can give me some tips.”

  Lance comes over dressed as the Beast. He’s wearing a gold vest with a white blouse beneath it, a royal blue jacket with gold trim, and navy pants. He dons a shaggy brown wig and is wearing makeup that has transformed his nose and mouth to complete his look. Even with his costume I can tell he’s very distinguished looking. He’s tall, with broad shoulders, tan skin, and warm hazel eyes that crinkle at the corners. He looks to be in his midforties. He and Jake shake hands, and then Simon introduces us.

  “Lexi, this is Lance. Lance, this is Lexi Winters.”

  “Lexi, it’s so nice to finally meet you. Simon has told me a lot about you.”

  “Likewise. Thank you so much for having us.” I offer him the bottle of Scotch.

  “Thank you,” Lance says. “That was very thoughtful. Scotch is my favorite.”

  “Simon told me.” I see them exchange a smile, and I find myself smiling too. It’s nice to see Simon outside of a work setting looking relaxed. He’s always so high-strung at the office. “Simon told me you take this holiday very seriously. He wasn’t kidding. If I’d known, I would have put a bit more effort into my costume.”

  “I love the Ken and Barbie idea,” he says. “Very original.”

  “Thanks, although you guys look as though you had professional stylists dress you.”

  “That’s because we did,” says Lance. I don’t know whether he’s kidding. “My friend Lanie works for Disney. She got us the costumes and provided us with makeup tips.”

  “Simon, you’ve been holding out of me,” I say. “I didn’t know you had a Disney connection.”

  “It hasn’t come up. Are you a Disney fan?”

  “Yes, Disney World was my favorite place on earth as a kid, although I haven’t been in years.”

  “You’ll have to take her—I don’t do Disney,” Simon tells Jake.

  “We’ll add it to the list,” Jake tells me.

  “There’s a list?” asks Simon.

  “A short one,” he says. “So far it’s San Francisco, Napa, Paris, and now Disney.”

  Lance is a business consultant and often travels to San Francisco as well, so he and Jake engage in a conversation.

  I look around and ask Simon if he did all the decorating.

  “Yes, but Lance and I made a lot of the decisions together.”

  “Your taste is immaculate, though I expected nothing less.”

  He waves his hand in a dismissive gesture. Lance turns his attention back to me and asks, “Would you like a tour?”

  “I’d love one.”

  We follow Lance as he shows us around their three-level home. He tells us little tidbits about how they chose various things and strikes me as very warm and self-deprecating. I like him immediately. We make our way back to the kitchen, and he tells us to help ourselves to food.

  “Did you make all this?” I inquire.

  “God, no,” Lance says. “We had it catered.”

  Jake goes to get us drinks, and Simon introduces me to some of his friends. It’s an eclectic mix of people. I look around at everyone’s costumes. There’s Sonny and Cher, Popeye and Olive Oyl, Bert and Ernie, and Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl. Then I spy a Danny and Sandy walking in. I’m glad Jake and I chose Ken and Barbie. At least this way, we’re original. Simon introduces me to Sandy, whose real name is Gabrielle. She and Simon worked together years ago and still keep in touch.

  “She’s the old you,” he informs me. I look at him, confused. “You know, my former work wife.”

  “Oh.” I smile at him. “Then Gabrielle and I have lots to discuss.”

  “I’ll leave you to it.”

  Gabrielle and I spend the next hour sharing Simon stories. She’s actually a lot like me; I guess Simon has a type. Jake comes over, and I introduce him to Gabrielle. He makes polite small talk but seems distracted. I feel bad that I haven’t spent a lot of time with him, so I excuse myself and ask Jake if he’s having a good time.

  “Yes,” he says unconvincingly.

  “You won’t win any awards for your acting.”

  He smiles and says, “It’s not really my kind of crowd. I’m actually tired and was thinking of going soon.” I look at my watch and see it’s not even midnight. I think he senses I’m not ready to leave. “You can stay and meet me at my place.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I offered.”

  “I know. It’s just that I’ve never met Lance before, and I hardly get to spend time with Simon outside of work.”

  “Do you have a spare key with you?” Jake asks.

  “Yes.”

  “OK. Stay and have a good time. I’ll see you later.”

  He quickly brushes my lips then says his good-byes to Simon and Lance. After he leaves I ask Simon if Jake seems different.

  “Not that I’ve noticed, but I rarely see him these days.”

  “I can’t explain it, but he seems distracted. He said he’s busy with work, but I’m starting to worry.”

  “Lexi, you have nothing to worry about,” Simon says. “Jake is enamored with you. Always has been, always will be.”

  “I hope so.”

  I stay for another hour then call it a night. I thank Simon and Lance for having me and tell Lance I’m so happy we finally had a chance to meet. I take a cab to Jake’s and quietly let myself in. I get ready for bed then climb in beside him.

  “What time is it?” he mumbles.

  “Almost two. Sorry to wake you.”

  He falls back asleep minutes later. I snuggle up next to him and feel his chest rise and fall with each breath. Eve
n though we’re so close, I feel like he’s miles away.

  The following Friday I get a Facebook message from Vanessa.We’ve exchanged a handful of e-mails since our vacation in Aruba, but I haven’t heard from her in a while. She tells me she and Seth just bought a house in the suburbs, and she’s pregnant. It’s still early, and she’s not telling anyone yet, but she knows her secret is safe with me. She goes on to ask how I’m doing and whether Jake has told people we’re dating yet. As with my other e-mails, my response will remain the same. I’ve really tried to be patient with Jake, but it’s starting to get to me. I write her back that I’m thrilled for her and ask her to keep me posted on her pregnancy. I also ask her about the house, how she’s feeling, and how Seth is doing, and send him my best. As happy as I am for her, I’m slightly resentful that she’s moving forward while I seem to be standing still.

  I don’t have plans to see Jake until the next afternoon; he had to meet a client for cocktails last night so he took a flight in this morning. The timing worked in my favor because this morning I’m going wedding-dress shopping with Liv and her mom. I’m accompanying them to two places in the city, and then they’re heading to the suburbs on their own. Liv’s mom picks us up at nine thirty.

  “Hi, Marianne,” I say as I climb into the backseat.

  “Hi, Lexi. How are you?”

  “I’m doing great. I’m really looking forward to seeing Liv try on dresses.”

  “I know. Isn’t it wonderful?”

  I’ve always had a close relationship with Liv’s mom. Liv and I practically lived at each other’s houses while we were growing up. We get to the first bridal shop, and Liv is greeted by a young salesgirl with numerous piercings who looks like she’s right out of college. Liv gives me a look as if to say, “Is she really the one who’s going to be helping me?” The girl informs us Liv will be meeting with Bonnie and pages her. “Thank God,” she mouths to me.

  A saleswoman who looks much more the part comes over and introduces herself as Bonnie. She asks Liv to describe what she’s looking for. She listens then tells Liv she’ll bring out some options, but she should look around to see if anything else catches her eye. The three of us comb through the racks, and Liv pulls out dresses. She holds one up and asks me my opinion.

  “Honestly I think you need to try them all on. I didn’t love my dress on the hanger, but once I put it on, I knew it was the one.”

  “God, Lexi, are you OK doing this? I’ve been so wrapped up in my wedding plans that I didn’t think about how it would make you feel.”

  “Liv, I appreciate your concern, but nothing would make me happier than seeing you in your wedding dress. This isn’t about me. We’re here to celebrate you and your special day.”

  “Thanks,” she says, giving me a hug. “I couldn’t imagine doing this without you.”

  As we’re waiting, Liv’s mom puts a reassuring arm around my shoulder. “Liv is lucky to have a friend like you,” she tells me. I know it’s supposed to make me feel better, but I fight the urge to cry. Bonnie comes back with an armful of dresses and shows Liv to a room. Marianne and I wait outside while Liv tries them on.

  She comes out to model the first dress. It’s a strapless A-line gown with beaded details along the waistband. “What do you think?”

  I let Marianne speak first. “It’s beautiful, honey. Simple, elegant, and it doesn’t overwhelm you.”

  Liv looks to me. “I agree. It’s a beautiful dress. I don’t know if it’s the one, but you should put it in the ‘yes’ pile.”

  She does a little twirl then goes to try on her next one. Marianne and I rule out the next two, and she throws the next dress over the door. “This one wasn’t even worth showing you,” she says.

  She takes a while before she comes out with the next dress. “Liv, are you OK?” Marianne calls out.

  Liv opens the door and emerges with a small smile. As she stands in front of us, tingles race up and down my spine. I look at Marianne, whose eyes are watering as she whispers, “That’s it.” I nod my agreement. The dress is white satin with intricate flower beading along the bodice. The dress puckers on each side at the waist, forming an upside-down V-shaped band; then the beading continues to cascade in a slightly off-center line down the front. Bonnie brings Liv a beaded tiara and veil so she can get the full effect.

  She studies herself in the mirror. “What do you think?” she asks me.

  “I absolutely love it. I got the chills when you came out wearing it.”

  She nods. “I think I’m done.”

  Marianne laughs. “We’ll put it at the top of our list, but I’d like to keep our other appointments just to be sure.”

  Liv thanks Bonnie for her help and has her write up the details so she can find the dress when she comes back.

  As we’re heading to the car, Liv says, “Mom, I’ll try on other dresses, but that’s the one I want.”

  “I know. Let’s just be sure. It’s a big decision.”

  We get to the next bridal salon, and Liv tries on dresses, but I can see her heart’s not in it. I think Marianne senses it too, so she suggests we look at bridesmaid dresses.

  “That’s a great idea,” Liv says. “Lexi is already here.”

  The saleswoman brings out a catalog. “This will give me a sense of what you like. Then I can bring out some options.” Liv and I look through the book; she’s leaning toward a strapless tea-length dress with a sash at the waist.

  “What do you think?” she asks me.

  “I love the style and think it’ll look flattering on everyone.”

  The saleswoman returns with a few samples for me to try on. Liv and I both agree on the same dress, so Liv asks to see the color options. She studies them and says, “I can’t decide if I like the deep purple or chocolate brown.”

  “Why don’t you take them with you to the florist? They might be able to help you decide which color scheme you like best,” I suggest.

  “That’s a great idea. Can I take swatches of them both?” she asks the saleswoman. She nods and asks that Liv bring them back when she’s done.

  “I’m exhausted,” Liv says as we get into the car.

  “Do you want to go to the other appointments?” Marianne asks her.

  “Yes. We may as well as long as we have them. I’m only going to do this once, so I want to enjoy it.” She eyes me in the backseat and mouths, “Sorry.” I shake my head, implying it’s nothing to worry about.

  I’m in a wistful mood on the ride home. The experience has brought up feelings I’ve been trying to bury. I do my best to push them aside, but today’s events—coupled with Jake’s mood swings—have left me in a dark mood.

  “Where should we drop you off?” Liv asks me.

  I realize I haven’t checked my phone and see that Jake texted me to say he’s on his way home from the airport. I have them drop me off at his place; I’m about to let myself in when he opens the door.

  “Hi,” he says, and gives me a big hug. “Who was that?” he asks, motioning to Marianne’s car.

  “Liv and her mom. I went wedding-dress shopping with them this morning.”

  “How was it? Did she find something?”

  “I think so. They’re going to a few other places, just to be sure, but I think she found the one. She was more interested in having me try on bridesmaid dresses at the next appointment, so I think it’s safe to say she’s in love with that dress.”

  He laughs. “How were the bridesmaid dresses?”

  “Not bad. I don’t know that I’d wear it again, but it’s a pretty dress, and at least it’s flattering.”

  “I can’t imagine anything not looking flattering on you,” Jake says, eyeing me. I laugh and playfully brush off his attempts to get close. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

  “Nothing. I’m just not in the mood.” I think this is the first time I’ve ever turned Jake down, but he doesn’t press the issue further.

  “Here. Come with me upstairs while I unpack.” As he’s putting his things
away, I tell him the news about Seth and Vanessa. “Wow. I can’t believe she’s pregnant so fast. Were they trying?”

  “I didn’t ask her that,” I say in a slightly irritated tone.

  “Well, please tell them I say congratulations.” Jake changes the subject and asks me what I want to do for dinner.

  “I’d like to go out somewhere,” I tell him. He asks me what I have in mind. “I don’t know. It just would be nice to go on a date like normal people.”

  He studies me for a moment then says, “OK. Let’s go out. I know this great Italian place in Logan Square. I don’t think we’ll run into anyone there.”

  I’m about to make a sarcastic reply, but I hold my tongue. At least we’re going out. “I have to run some errands. What time should I be ready?”

  “How about I pick you up at seven thirty?”

  “That’s fine.”

  “Wait—I’ll drive you home.”

  “No, that’s OK. I have to make a couple of stops along the way. See you later,” I say, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

  I really don’t have errands to run, but I need some space. I go home and head to the gym, thinking a workout will lift my spirits. Afterward I get ready for a rare night out, and I’m downstairs by seven twenty-five. Jake is out front already and opens the car door for me.

  “You look great,” he says, kissing my cheek.

  “Thanks. You look nice too.”

  On the drive over, I ask him how he knows about the restaurant. “I’ve been there a few times, but it’s been a while since I’ve been back. It’s kind of a neighborhood gem.”

  When we arrive, he says, “I made a reservation under ‘Hartman.’” Then he drops me off and looks for parking. I check in, and the hostess tells me it’ll be about fifteen minutes before our table is ready. I look around and like the restaurant’s rustic charm. It has exposed brick walls lined with artwork of the Italian countryside. Wooden beams run along the ceiling, which has amber pendant light fixtures hanging over each table. The doorway to the kitchen looks like an old archway, and a long wooden shelf filled with wine bottles stands above it. Jake walks in, and we find two open seats at the bar. I see him looking around, making sure we don’t know anyone here. I find it irritating. The bartender comes to take our drink order, and shortly after our table is ready. All the tables are packed closely together, but fortunately ours is next to the window. I study the menu and decide on Chicken Vesuvio.