by Glazer, J B
“I need the weekend to regroup,” I tell him.
“OK, I wanted it to be a surprise, but they usually announce senior-level promotions at the party. You’ve worked so hard—you should be there when your name is called.”
I consider this for a moment. “All right, I’ll go. But I’m leaving right after the show.”
“Deal. I’ll escort you there personally so you don’t have to go alone.”
“Thanks, Simon. You’re a good friend.”
The next morning Simon knocks on my door at 8:00 a.m. sharp. “I’ve brought reinforcements,” he says. He hands me a cup of coffee then opens the door. He’s brought my hairdresser, Marco.
“Marco, it’s good to see you!” He gives me a sympathetic smile and envelops me in a hug. Tears prick my eyelids, so I quickly pull away. “What are you doing here?” I ask.
He studies my limp hair and says, “Simon thought you could use my services.” I look at Simon questioningly.
“Well, if you’re going to see Jake, you may as well look good.”
“Simon, I said I’d go, but I don’t plan to see or talk to Jake. I agreed to this because there’ll be hundreds of people there, so he’ll be easy to avoid. I’m making my appearance to put in some face time, and then I’m leaving.”
“Fine, but should you happen to run into him, let him know what he’s missing.”
Marco jumps in. “Why don’t you go wash your hair, and I’ll blow you out.”
“OK. I’ll be right back.”
This is probably Simon’s diplomatic way of telling me I need to take a shower. I let the warm water wash over me and close my eyes, feeling its soothing effects, wishing it also could wash away my sorrow. I quickly shampoo and condition my hair then throw on a robe and take a seat at the kitchen table, where Marco has set up shop. As he works on my hair, I decide there’s something therapeutic about it.
“How should we style it?” he asks.
“Honestly I don’t care. Do whatever you want.”
“Well, what are you wearing?”
“I haven’t given it much thought.”
“Come,” Simon says, taking my hand. He opens my closet and rifles through my clothes. “What about a dress?”
“Fine. I’ll wear that black one.” It suits my mood.
“Let me see it,” says Marco. Simon pulls it out of the closet and lays it on the bed. It’s a short, fitted, A-line dress with flowing, sheer chiffon sleeves; it has sort of a vintage look to it. “I love it,” says Marco. “We’ll do a retro look for your hair.”
“Fine,” I say.
Honestly I don’t really care, but I don’t want to be rude. For the next twenty minutes, Marco fusses over my hair then holds up a mirror. He’s done a deep side part with very soft, loose curls. “It’s beautiful,” I say, and give him a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. I go to grab my wallet from my purse, but he shoos my hand away.
“This one’s on me,” he says. Normally I’d protest, but I don’t have the energy.
“Thank you,” I reply as he envelops me in a big hug.
“Go finish getting ready, and let me see how you look.”
I go to the bathroom and apply my makeup, trying my best to cover up the dark circles under my eyes. I slip on the dress and look at myself in the mirror. It’s funny how I look the same, but everything is different. I want to put my pajamas back on and crawl into bed. I’m really not ready to face everyone; I’ve never been a good liar, and it’ll be hard to put on a brave face.
Simon must sense my hesitation because he comes in. “You look breathtaking,” he says. “But you need some jewelry.” I nod toward my box on the dresser. He goes through it and produces a delicate, long, layered silver necklace. Then he hands me my Tiffany heart bracelet. “For good luck,” he says.
“I won’t wear it now that it has Jake’s initial on it. Yet another thing he’s taken from me,” I say bitterly.
“Lexi,” Simon says, “I’m a firm believer that people make their own luck. You’re not lucky because of some bracelet. You’re lucky because you’ve always gone after what you wanted, and good luck has followed.” I don’t want to argue, so I hold out my wrist. As he slips it on he says, “Who knows? Maybe your luck is changing. Now come on. Let’s go.”
I look at Marco, who nods his approval and hands me my coat. I put on a pair of Christian Louboutin silver spiked pumps and grab my purse. Simon and I step outside, and the cool air feels good. “We should probably cab it,” he says, looking at his watch.
We go back inside, and Roland puts the cab light on for us. He looks at me and says, “You look real pretty, Lexi.” I smile at him, and he gives me a wink. A few minutes later, a cab pulls up, and Simon and I get in. Here we go.
Just as the show is about to start, we walk into the auditorium. It’s packed, and I don’t see any seats. We make our way toward the front, and I hear someone shout my name. “Lexi, over here,” says Michelle. “How are you feeling?” she asks, her voice full of concern.
“Better, thanks.” I manage a small smile. Simon and I take our seats. Crap, we’re in the second row. So much for making an inconspicuous exit once the show ends. The lights dim, and Bill walks up to the podium and gives his opening remarks. I try to pay attention, but my thoughts keep drifting, and I find it hard to concentrate on what he’s saying. I glance around and wonder where Jake is. I replay yesterday’s conversation in my mind for what feels like the millionth time. The image of him standing there with that look of despair haunts me. Fresh tears threaten to fall, but fortunately a round of applause distracts me; Bill has finished speaking.
“Now I’d like to introduce our next speaker,” he says. “He’s someone who has helped recharge the agency and give it new momentum. Under his leadership, we’ve won seven new accounts this year, a record for the agency. He’s a tremendous talent, and I’m proud not only of his accomplishments but also the man he has become. I give you our San Francisco office’s president, Jake Hartman, to share his last New Business update.” Everyone cheers as Jake walks onto the stage while I try to maintain my composure. He shakes Bill’s hand, and then Bill pulls him into a hug. Jake then takes his place behind the podium.
I didn’t know Jake would be speaking. I’m glad the lights are dim; I hope he can’t see me. I stare at his familiar face, perhaps for the last time. I realize I don’t even know when he’s leaving. My heart aches, and I want to bolt out of the auditorium, but I don’t want to make a scene. He looks so handsome in his black suit, and he’s wearing the tie I picked out for him the day we went shopping at Bloomingdale’s. I close my eyes to block him out, but it’s no use; I know every contour of his face. I listen as he gives an update on the agency’s success this past year. He’s his usual charismatic self, but I can tell he’s nervous. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jake nervous before, especially in this kind of situation, where he’s in his element. Then he says, “I want to thank everyone for the well-wishes regarding my new role. As you can see, it’s been a great year for me professionally. But it’s also been a great year for me personally. You see, I fell in love with the most amazing woman.” What? I open my eyes and sit up straighter in my seat. Jake continues, “She’s passionate, warm, funny, whip smart, and beautiful, inside and out. From the moment I met her, I knew she was special. She has an aura about her that draws people in.” My mouth drops open in shock. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
I turn to Simon and whisper, “Did you know about this?”
He nods. “I may have known something about it. My job was to get you here, no matter what it took.”
I grab his hand and squeeze it hard, attempting to calm my rapidly beating heart.
Jake goes on. “I’m sure you’re all surprised to hear me saying this because, as you know, I’m a private person. And I like to keep my private life, well, private. But she makes me so happy that I want to shout it from the rooftops. And I owe much of my success to her because she’s made me a better person. I wouldn’
t be where I am today without her support and encouragement. She challenges me like no one else and pushes me to think the impossible is possible. But I quite possibly screwed up the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So I’m putting my transfer on hold. Yes, my career is very important to me, but she’s more important. I’m doing what I should have done in the first place. I want to discuss it with her first and come to a decision together.” I am shell-shocked. I can’t believe Jake is putting his career on hold for me. Even with everything he’s worked for, he’s willing to put me first. In that moment, all my anger melts away, and I know I forgive him. Fresh tears roll down my cheeks. Simon hands me a tissue, which I gratefully accept.
“You probably all think I’m crazy,” Jake continues, “but she never asked much of me other than truthfulness and for our relationship to be out in the open. You see, you all know her because she works here.” I hear gasps from the crowd. “I didn’t want anyone to know about our relationship—but not because I was embarrassed. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I was just trying to protect her. I wanted her to feel she was successful on her own, not because she was dating me. That dynamic changes things, and like it or not, I thought people would think her achievements were a result of my influence. But I shouldn’t have worried, because everyone knows she’s a brilliant leader with a bright future here.”
“Just tell us! Who is it?” someone shouts.
“Lexi Winters,” Jake says.
I’m paralyzed in my seat. I can’t believe he just told the entire company about our relationship. It’s definitely out in the open now. There’s a lot of chatter from the crowd, and someone yells, “Way to go, Lexi!” I feel my face burning.
“Lexi, will you please come up here?” Jake asks.
Suddenly, everyone is chanting my name. Jake scans the crowd, looking for me, and everyone around me points to where I’m sitting. He hops off the stage and makes his way over to me, taking my hand to lead me onto the stage. He says softly, so only I can hear, “I’m sorry if I’m embarrassing you, but this was the only way.” He takes my hands and stares deeply into my eyes. It’s as if we’re the only two in the room. “Lexi, I’m so sorry. You’ve got to know I never meant for any of this to happen this way. As I said yesterday, I tried telling you a bunch of times, but something always seemed to come up. Believe me, I wanted to ask you to come with me on so many occasions, but I guess I was scared that you’d say no. I’m no longer scared of asking; I’m only scared of losing you. You once told me that if someone did something unforgiveable, you’d expect a big gesture. Well, here’s mine.”
I’m speechless. In my book his outing our relationship to the entire company is a big gesture. I can’t believe he did that. I know how hard it must have been, but he did it for me.
“Just so you all know,” he says, “this is something I already planned. I just hadn’t planned to do it in such a public forum.” Suddenly someone brings out a guitar and two stools. Jake motions for me to sit down. “Lexi always wanted me to play for her. Some of you know I was in a band, but not many people know I like to write songs.” This is news to me. Of course I knew he played, but I didn’t know about the songwriting. How did I not know this? I guess I still have more to learn about him. “I wrote a song for Lexi that I’ll play for you now. It’s something I’ve been working on for a while.” He gives a nervous smile. “I’ve never played my own music for anyone before, so here goes nothing.” Jake grabs a flask from his jacket pocket and takes a swig. Everyone laughs, including me. “The song is called, ‘Forever with You.’”
Jake motions for me to sit on the stool beside him. My body tingles as I sit so close to him. Then he begins to sing.
Life was good; I was getting by.
I didn’t need anyone; I was flying high.
When you walked in, my walls came crashing down.
My love for you knows no bounds.
And when we danced, there was no before,
That life was over; you opened a door.
You light my life like rays of the sun.
My love for you has just begun.
You intoxicate me like perfume, heady and sweet.
I didn’t have a chance; I admit defeat.
Your taste, your touch—I want you so much.
I want to spend forever with you.
Know that my love for you is true.
With your easy smile and quiet grace,
you make my world a better place.
You brought color to what was black and white.
Now my world is filled with your light.
You captivate me; my heart is whole.
You have all of me, body and soul.
I want to drink you in, your taste so sweet.
I’ll lay the world down at your feet.
I’ll give you my heart and all that’s mine.
I’ll love you forever, ‘til the end of time.
Your taste, your touch—I want you so much.
I want to spend forever with you.
Know that my love for you is true.
Life as I knew it is a thing of the past.
I’ve finally found a love to last.
As long as I have you and we’re together,
I’ll give you my heart; it’s yours forever.
No matter the cost, whatever the stakes,
to the ends of the earth, if that’s what it takes.
You’ve filled my life with love and laughter.
Let me be your happily ever after.
We’re out in the open; I’ve nothing to hide,
All I want is you by my side.
Your taste, your touch—I need you so much.
I want to spend forever with you.
I want to spend forever with you.
My life is nothing without you in it.
I don’t want to waste another minute.
I want to spend forever with you.
Say you’ll spend forever with me too.
It’s a beautiful song, and I can’t believe Jake wrote it for me. No one in my life ever has made such a grand and romantic gesture. I watch him, mesmerized, knowing that everything with Ben was a prelude to this. All the pain and heartache led me to this moment, to this amazing man standing before me, who’s baring his soul for all to see. For me. My heart is filled with such love that it overwhelms me. Suddenly he stops playing and motions for me to stand up. Then he takes my hand and gets down on one knee. I think I may faint. He sings softly to me, “I want you forever in my life. Make me so happy and be my wife.” Then he takes a box from his jacket pocket and opens it. I can hardly see the ring because I’m blinded by the tears streaming down my face. “Lexi Paige, you’ve brought joy to my life that I never knew was possible. Will you make me the happiest man and marry me?”
I stare into his beautiful blue eyes and know this time it will be forever. “Yes,” I say. “Yes, I’ll marry you!” The crowd breaks out into thunderous applause. Jake grabs me and pulls me into a passionate embrace that leaves me breathless. As ecstatic as I am, I have to ask the obvious: “What about Bill? I can’t imagine he’s going to take this well.”
“I talked to him last night. He gave us his blessing and told me what an idiot I am, which, of course, you already know.”
We are interrupted by a familiar voice calling, and I see Liv and my family make their way toward us from the wings. Of course Jake thought to include them. He sees me looking in their direction and smiles.
“I wanted everyone you love to witness our engagement,” he tells me.
“Of course you did. I take back what I said yesterday. There is such a thing as perfection. And he’s standing right in front of me.”
“No,” Jake says, “I’m not perfect—we’re perfect together.” I smile at him and feel a warm glow that slowly spreads, radiating through me until it feels as if I’m lit from within. “So how does it feel?” he asks me.
“Which part?”
“Being out in the open.”
“I
feel…complete now that I have everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. And now I can share you with the world, or at least our small part of it.”
Jake kisses me again and, with his lips never leaving mine, lifts me into the air as the crowd of well-wishers descends upon us.
J B Glazer developed a love of writing at a young age. She followed that passion to the University of Illinois, where she graduated with a degree from the College of Communications. She pursued a career in advertising, a field that provided an outlet to express her creativity. She has fifteen years of experience at the renowned Leo Burnett advertising agency in Chicago, which served as inspiration for her novel. She’s also a wife, mom, marketer, referee, short-order cook, maid, chocoholic, shopaholic, and multitasker extraordinaire.
Visit her website at www.jbglazer.com.