by Nina Singh
She stilled at the contact and looked up to meet his eyes in the mirror above the chest. The awkwardness of their surroundings hung unspoken between them.
“The room looks so familiar.” She wasn’t sure she had meant to say it out loud.
“Yeah, it does.”
Did it bring back memories for him, too? Memories of the intimate, unguarded moments they’d shared?
“I’ve thought of that first apartment often,” she admitted.
“Some things are better forgotten.”
She looked up at him, saw the familiar yet frustrating curtain guarding any emotion in his eyes.
“Perhaps you’re right,” she said. But there were some things a woman could never forget. That was the apartment he’d carried her into as his wife, and they hadn’t left the bedroom until the next afternoon. It was there where they’d talked about all their dreams around the ragged breakfast bar in the center of the kitchen.
But it was also the same apartment where they’d had their harshest arguments.
“It never occurred to me we wouldn’t be moving out of there together,” she found herself admitting.
He nodded slightly in the mirror above her. “Me neither. But we both made our decisions. Right or wrong.”
Would he ever understand? She turned back around and leaned against the bureau. “I guess we’ll always disagree on the importance I placed on starting my own business.”
The raised eyebrow suddenly fell into a straight line. “Is that what you think?”
She shook her head. He looked away from her, up toward the ceiling.
“I told you how important it was for me to start this business venture, R.J. But all that mattered to you was getting away. You couldn’t wait to leave Boston.”
He lifted his hand in the air impatiently. “I had no business in Boston anymore. Not after college. And especially not after we started to grow apart.”
“We were still close in a lot of ways when things started to fall apart.”
He swallowed. “Being compatible in bed can only take a couple so far, Angel. Every time I moved in your circles, it just made me realize what a mistake—” He stopped midsentence.
She tried to ignore the hurt. Mistake. There was that word again. Damn him. What they’d felt for each other had not been a mistake. Ever.
“R.J., I had no circles.”
He let out a short laugh. “No? What about all the country club boys? The ones who hovered around you like hornets. The same ones who looked at me like I was dirt every time I had the audacity to touch you, even after we were married? What about all the debutantes who looked at you like you’d lost your head?”
“Those were your friends, too. From the football team and from class.”
He laughed at that. “Angel, those so-called friends never treated me as more than a wannabe. But when you were around, instead of shunning me outright, they just ignored me. All of them, except, of course, for Shanna.”
“I—I just can’t believe that.”
He laughed again, a humorless, empty sound. He was mocking her. “Face it, with very rare exception, anyone at all close to you hated that you chose me.”
“Well I seem to recall several of the females in my so-called ‘circles’ flirting shamelessly with you, sometimes right under my nose.”
“Yeah?” He stepped closer to her, and all the air seemed to have sucked out of the small room. “Even as they propositioned me they made it clear I shouldn’t harbor any delusions of grandeur. But they were just being who they were.” Her confusion must have shown on her face because he continued. “At least those women were straight with me, Angel. With them I knew from the beginning exactly where I stood.”
“What are you saying? That what you got from me wasn’t real? That somehow our marriage wasn’t real?”
“I’m not saying a thing. The time to say anything about it all is long gone. We were just too young, and too naive, to get married.”
He turned from her suddenly and thrust a hand through his hair. “Listen, this is useless. It’s gonna be hard enough staying here in such close quarters. Let’s just forget about slamming out the past, okay? In the end, it’s simple. Our worlds didn’t belong together.”
It wasn’t okay. How could he say those things, think those things? “You think it was senseless of us to fall in love?”
R.J. started to rub his eyes. “It hardly matters. Why don’t we just wipe the slate clean, all right? Starting here, starting now. I promise to do whatever I can to make this easier between us.” But she noticed he wasn’t answering her.
“We have to act and sound like a true married couple after all,” he continued when she was silent.
Sure, like a married couple who held hands, who touched each other affectionately. Who shared the same hopes and dreams. Not to mention shared the same bedroom.
Well, he was wrong about her; she’d tried damn hard to make it work between them.
Hadn’t she?
CHAPTER SEVEN
SOMETHING WAS DEFINITELY crawling up her leg.
Angeline shook out her left foot, kicking several blades of long grass in the process.
Whatever it was, it was very persistent. She’d swatted it away several times already. There was barely enough light to study her leg if she wanted to look down and identify her tormentor. She didn’t.
“Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to go wanderin’, huh, missy?” she admonished herself. Great. It was never a good sign when she started talking to herself. But she’d just wanted to get away on her own for a while. Just to clear her head.
The luscious, fragrant bushes of Mila’s Bloom had beckoned her, and she’d decided to walk around the orchard. Only problem was, now she was lost. And by herself. The shrubs had grown higher than she remembered, and the house was no longer visible.
Now what?
It felt like she’d been in the fields for hours even if her watch told her it was less than twenty minutes. How long did this shrubbery go on anyway?
She suddenly felt a chill. Even with the full moon above, the evening had suddenly grown inexplicably dark. Like a forgotten room that had been shut off from the rest of the house after its occupant had passed away.
The tickly itch traveling up the back of her knee returned. This time it went clear up to her thigh. Angeline gasped in horror. Who would have thought that she’d had the ability to jump and swat at her leg at the same time? The circus must need some kind of talent like that. If this whole tea business thing didn’t work out... She shook her head at the silly thoughts and continued moving.
Something grabbed her.
Panic darkened what little light the moon afforded. Angel struggled to pull herself out of the strong grip that had suddenly gotten hold of her. There was a large, male hand wrapped around her upper arm.
“Calm down, it’s just me.” The unmistakable voice came from behind her ear.
The hand slowly removed itself, and she hurled herself around. “What do you think you’re doing sneaking up on me like that?”
“I could ask you what you’re doing out here wandering alone.”
She was going to ignore that question. As well as his patronizing tone. “Jeez, R.J. You nearly scared the logic out of me!”
“Again, I ask what you’re doing out here. In the dark, by yourself.”
Angeline huffed in frustration. Her heart still thudded with fear. “I just needed some time and some air. To think.”
“Didn’t look like a stroll. It looked more like you were karate chopping some of the plants.”
“Ha, ha. I was just about to make my way back.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “Is that so? You weren’t lost at all?”
“Most definitely not.”
“Right.” Skepti
cism laced his voice. “Were you checking out the crop, making sure it’s all still worthy of your investment?”
She sighed, utterly weary now after all the excitement. “Was that a jab? I just want to grow my business, R.J. I’m starting to get tired of trying to justify that to you.”
He crooked a finger under her chin. It was an innocent yet oddly sensual action. Under the evening sky, amid a field of aromatic grass with the sounds of the ocean in the distance. Having him touch her in such circumstances was risky. “Angel, you don’t have to explain your determination to me. I know firsthand how powerful that is in you.”
“I know you didn’t mean that as a compliment, but in the interest of harmony, I’m going to take it as one.”
“By all means.” He stepped aside and gestured for her to go forward. “So, lead the way.”
“Ah...me?”
He nodded at her solemnly. “Yes. You know...because you’re absolutely not lost.”
“Very funny.”
“Will you admit it?”
She waited without answering, tapping her foot.
He finally broke the silence with a laugh. “I knew it.”
“Don’t get cute with me, Robert James Davet. I’d rather not stay in this grass any longer than I have to.”
“It was your decision to come out here, Princess.” He rubbed his chin. “Now, admit you were lost or I won’t show you the way.”
“But there are bugs in here,” she hissed.
His only answer was to cross his arms in front of his chest.
“Great,” Angel muttered. “I’m in one of the most beautiful parts of the world and instead of enjoying it I’m making myself a late-night snack for a swarm of insects.”
“All to break out into the herbal tea market.”
She sighed. “It would mean so much more than that. It would mean a huge expansion.”
Suddenly, the air grew serious. “Let’s assume everything goes smoothly on this trip. You get the deal for the exclusive distribution rights. The expansion goes through, the new tea is an instant phenomenon.”
Angel closed her eyes, imagining that very scenario. “And every one of my employees will be secure for the foreseeable future. That’s all I’m hoping for.”
He nodded. “It does sound great. But then what? There’s still a loose end.”
“Which is?”
“What are you going to tell the Bays when we finally go through with the divorce?”
The question brought a chill to her insides. Divorce. Finally. Of course, she’d known all along that’s where her life was headed. She’d be a divorced woman eventually. She and R.J. had just been too busy to move forward with finalizing and before she knew it, three years had gone by. Still, to hear him say it outright somehow jolted her in a way she didn’t want to examine.
She gave a small shrug. “There will be only one thing to say, I suppose.”
“And that would be?”
“That despite our furtive attempts, we couldn’t find a way to make it work.”
At that point, at least, she’d be telling the Bays the truth.
* * *
Tavov and Mila appeared to have retired for the evening. R.J. shut the door of the suite quietly behind him. He looked up to find Angel gazing nervously at the bed.
They still hadn’t worked out their final sleeping arrangements.
He started to reassure her of his intentions when she suddenly jumped. High.
“Oh my God, it’s on my neck!” Angel started desperately swatting at her hair.
“What? What’s the matter?”
“It’s crawling into my hair.” There was a note of sheer terror in her voice.
“What is?”
“I’m sure I don’t know.” She sounded near hysterical. “I assume it’s a bug. A large, hairy, slimy bug! It must have crawled on me in the fields.”
“Angel, come here and I’ll take a look,” he tried to say in his most calm, least amused voice. It wasn’t easy.
“Get it out, now, please,” she shrieked.
The head of a successful distribution business and here she was hysterical over a small bug. “Angel, sweetheart. Just calm down and let me look. But please try not to make any more noise. You’re going to have Mila and Tavov wondering what I’m doing to you in here.”
He gently pulled her by the shoulders and turned her around. Lifting her hair up, he tried to peer through the mass of tresses to examine her scalp.
“There’s nothing there.”
“Don’t tell me that! I can feel it.”
“I don’t see anything,” he insisted, trying to reassure her.
“Of course you don’t, it’s inside my hair.” She resumed the frantic swatting.
“Look, just relax. Here, let me.” He cupped the back of her neck, plunging his fingers into her hairline. Mistake. He could feel her pulse racing beneath his hand.
“Is it gone?”
It quickly became a struggle to catch his breath. “I don’t see or feel anything.”
“Please just make sure.”
He moved his hand around, trying to ignore the soft, silky feel of her hair across his forearm. A light, citrus scent drifted to his nose. She still used the same shampoo.
She stopped moving, and they both stilled. He had to clear his throat before he could continue. “There’s nothing crawling on you, Angel.”
“Are you certain?”
Why was it becoming so hard to breathe? “I’m certain,” he managed to croak out.
She didn’t answer right away, still breathing heavily. “I guess I must have imagined it.”
All right, you’ve checked. Pull your hands off her now. But he couldn’t bear to, it was too hard. Her pulse quickened under his palm.
“I guess so.” His hand seemed to move on its own. He plunged his fingers farther into the silkiness of her hair and felt her shudder. Soft, she was so soft. Her hair, her skin. His calloused hand felt as if he was running it through a cloud. With zero control, he pulled her closer, her back snug against his chest.
A cricket chirped in the distance, as if to issue a warning cry. He didn’t heed it, just gave in as he allowed his lips their slow descent.
She inhaled sharply, and it was all he needed. He tried to bargain with himself, one small kiss, just to see if her skin still held the same warmth. But he knew that was a lie. He had no doubt it would.
He was right. Nothing could have prepared him for the sweet torment that assaulted him as he let his lips fall on the back of her neck. He heard her groan and responded by yanking her closer. Her back was up against him completely. Fire spread through his shirt, then moved lower.
He couldn’t stop himself from nuzzling closer into her neck. Even as he cursed himself, he splayed shaky fingers on her abdomen. There was no hiding her effect on him now. She let her head fall back as he moved the kisses around her neck.
He had to stop. But as insane as this was, it felt too right. Besides, he couldn’t have stopped if he wanted to. Not when she was leaning into him and uttering those maddeningly erotic sounds under her breath.
She reached behind her and pulled his head closer. His hand moved up, meeting soft, yielding flesh. His fingers burned at the touch of her skin. He started to lower the collar of her dress. He wanted to expose her to him, to run his hands over her breasts, to feel her and taste her like he had so often in the past.
He shouldn’t be touching her like this. He shouldn’t be wanting her like this. Men like him didn’t belong with ladies like Angeline Scott. God, he knew from experience how devastating the results could be of such a foolish union.
Somehow he managed to pull himself away and forced himself to step back. He’d done it again.
Angel turned to look at him and wra
pped her arms around herself. “What just happened, R.J.?”
“Something that shouldn’t have happened. An error in judgment.”
He rubbed a palm across his face and forced himself to calm down, to squash the unwanted urges.
“Well, it did happen, and so did the incident in your apartment back in Boston.”
He let out a small laugh. “I guess I need to learn how to stop making the same mistakes, don’t I?” He heard himself echo his father’s words.
Angel flinched. “It’s not that simple. And I, for one, would like to talk about this.”
“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”
She spread her arms. “How can you say that? This is the second time we’ve lost control with each other.”
She was right, but there was no point in analyzing something that shouldn’t have happened in the first place. “What exactly are we supposed to discuss?”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Don’t you have anything to say?”
“Not really. Except that it won’t happen again.”
“You’re so certain?” she asked. “Can you just turn your feelings off like that? Is it that easy?”
“Easy isn’t always—”
“Yeah, I know,” she interrupted, impatience laced in her voice. “Easy isn’t always better. Well, difficult isn’t necessarily right either.”
“I suppose with rare exception.”
“No, there’s nothing rare about it. Why can’t you just trust me enough to tell me what you’re feeling?”
He took a deep breath. How absurd, to think he could just say it all to her. To tell her that he’d learned long ago that he couldn’t just grab what he wanted. Everything had its price, everything had to be fought for. And sometimes the casualties were too high to risk. Why couldn’t she understand that?
“What exactly is it that you want from me?” he asked her.
When she responded, the punch had gone out of her voice. “I just want to know, I guess. To understand. Every time you touch me, it’s the way it was. I know you feel it, too. But then you just shut yourself off. How can you do that so well?”