by Nina Singh
“Angel, it’s not too difficult to understand. We both learned the hard way that we’re too different. We don’t want the same things. You’re charities and society balls, I’m South End litter. An intense attraction is not going to change that.”
“Are you sure you know me so well?”
“I know what you were born into, the legacy you should be a part of. And I also know how our marriage came between all of that.”
“You can’t believe any of that matters to me.”
“You say that now. How do you know you’re not going to wake up one morning and resent that you lost your rightful inheritance because of an impulsive decision you made when you were barely an adult?”
“Falling in love with you was not impulsive. You know,” she started. “Shanna said something to me right before this trip.”
“What was that?”
“She said the only two people who can break up a relationship are the two people in it.”
He knew she was waiting for a response. But suddenly he was just too tired to come up with one.
“Angel, it’s late. We’re both very tired. Not to mention jet-lagged. We’ll talk in the morning.”
“No. In the morning you’ll just come up with a sugarcoated way to brush everything aside. Just this once, I want you to talk to me instead of pushing me away.”
He didn’t want this, didn’t need to be thinking about all this right now. Her look told him she wasn’t in any mood to drop the matter.
“Don’t you understand?” he blurted. “We can’t forget that people as different as you and me will never really mesh. We’re from two completely different worlds.”
“And therefore we should have never gotten married? Is that it?” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and shook her head slightly. “What a double standard you have, R.J. Do you have any idea how pompous that would sound coming from, say, someone like me? Someone who grew up with money. What makes you think it’s okay for you to come to a conclusion like that?”
“I guess it’s one of the few luxuries my background afforded me.” He knew his tone held the warmth of a glacier.
“So, just how far do you think such a generality should go?” she pressed.
He shook his head. “What do you mean?”
“Where would you draw the line? Just at marriage? Or any emotional involvement?” What in the world was she getting at?
She stepped up to him, her finger pointed at his chest. “Is it all right to share a purely physical attachment? What if there’s no emotional tie? Then is it okay?”
Now they were moving into dangerous territory. Way too dangerous. “What the hell are you talking about? Is what okay?”
She shrugged. “A casual toss in the hay for instance. Is it all right for us to sleep together, as long as that’s all we do?”
She’d shocked him. But he recovered quickly. Before allowing himself to realize what he was about to do, he was in front of her. In an instantaneous movement, he had her by the shoulders and pulled her closer.
“Is that an offer, Angel?”
Suddenly the topic at hand was very different. “I just want to make sure I understand you correctly,” she said slowly.
“First let me make sure I understand. Are you offering a no-strings-attached little romp? Something to add to the excitement factor of this trip?”
She started chewing her lip. “I’d like to know exactly where you draw the line between your rules and your feelings.”
“Acting on our feelings is what got us into trouble years ago.” Even as he said it, he pulled her closer. “We don’t want to do it again.”
“Why not?” she demanded. “Didn’t we agree that the only taboo was any emotional involvement?”
He lowered his head, speaking into her lips. “I’d just like to be clear. Is the respectable and ever so proper Angeline Scott offering her soon-to-be ex-husband a casual fling?”
She swallowed. “It appears so.”
“It better be more than appearance, Angel. You’d better be damn sure you’re prepared for me to take you up on it.”
“What makes you think I’m not?” As good as she was at bluffing, he knew her too well.
But he wasn’t feeling terribly merciful. “What if I call your bluff? Right here. This very moment. Will you still be as sure?”
“You know I’m a woman of my word, R.J.”
“I know you used to be.”
He kissed her then, a hungry kiss. One meant to take everything and give nothing in return. She responded with longing. She wanted him. He could feel how much.
He stopped finally, shaking with desire. “Well, you’ve definitely changed. Such a worldly proposition. Apparently you’ve done some growing up in the last few years.”
“I don’t see why we can’t be adult about this.” She cleared her throat, looking him straight in the eye.
“Adult.” He smiled, then took his hands off her. It took all his will, but he reluctantly let her go. “Go to bed, Angel.” He turned and made his way to the door before he could regret it.
“Wait, where are you going?”
He didn’t bother to turn back around. “Out.”
* * *
Angel watched the door shut and wanted to throw something at it. Sheer will prevented her from going after him. That and pride. She wasn’t going to beg, had come way too close to it just now. She turned and faced the balcony doors. The night had grown dark now, so dark the world beyond the railings appeared to be a limitless empty space.
She’d said she was open to a casual fling. Until the words had left her mouth she wouldn’t have believed it. Why had she made such an empty offer? She would have given up so much if R.J. had taken her up on it. She would have given up her heart. The moment he touched her again intimately the already fragile shell around her heart would have crumbled. She knew that was the last thing R.J. wanted.
Why was he trying so hard to deny that he was at least physically attracted to her if nothing else? It didn’t matter. He didn’t want to get close to her again. So why had she done it?
Silly question. She knew the answer. Because when it came to R.J. she was oh, so ready to take whatever she could get. No matter what the consequences to her pride. He meant that much to her. He always had.
Shanna had been so wrong that night back when they’d indulged in all the junk food. R.J. had left for the West Coast because he’d wanted to. Not to give her an out, not because he’d felt guilty in any way. He’d wanted to move to Silicon Valley, and he was going to do it with or without her. He was an enormously successful businessman now. But he still didn’t seem to want their marriage to continue. Just today he’d asked how she was going to break the news of their divorce to the Bays when it happened.
That told her everything she needed to know.
Angel walked over to the balcony doors and pressed her forehead against the glass. She would go crazy if she kept thinking about it, if she kept thinking about him.
Her skin was still on fire, and her breasts felt heavy with the want of his touch. But she would try to ignore all that. As unlikely as it was, she’d try to get some sleep. She’d put her head on the pillow and close her eyes.
And she’d pray that she had the strength to deny her feelings come tomorrow. Deny them as strongly as R.J. insisted on denying his.
* * *
R.J. stepped slowly into the suite and winced when the floor creaked loudly. He held his breath for a beat, waiting to see if Angel shifted.
No hint of sound came from the bed a few feet away, and he finally let out his breath. He didn’t want to wake her. He didn’t want to pick up where they’d left off. Didn’t know if this time he’d be strong enough to walk away.
Shutting the door quietly behind him, he thought about what she’
d said earlier. His wife had done some maturing since they’d parted. He couldn’t get over how up-front she’d been. He’d known, hadn’t he? When she’d shown up at his suite back in Boston, looking so utterly seductive, he’d harbored no illusions about what her true intent was.
Angeline Scott apparently missed the kind of rough-house, tumbledown lovemaking they’d once shared. Now that was all she wanted from him. She wasn’t even shy about admitting it.
So very tempting. What kind of man would that make him if he took her up on it? Knowing that any kind of reconciliation was out of the question. Not if there was any chance of Richard Scott taking his daughter back into the fold.
A chilling thought raced into his brain. What if she didn’t miss such physical enjoyment at all? All this time they’d been apart, maybe she had found such release regularly elsewhere. With other men?
He squeezed his eyes shut. It was no business of his. It hadn’t been for three years. But the thought came close to physical pain. It took all he had to try to force it out of his mind.
His gaze focused on the outline of her leg. Long, shapely, the white sheet draped seductively around it. He imagined going up to her. Pulling the sheet up and running his hands over the smooth skin, up her leg. Higher.
He thought about the sensuous heat in her eyes as she woke and saw him. He thought about settling over her, feeling her arms go around him, touching his bare back.
Damn. R.J. moved back to lean against the door, and this time the creak was louder.
It would be so easy to go to her. He wanted to so badly. But he wouldn’t. Maybe she could be casual about resuming a physical relationship, but there was no way he could be. Not that he hadn’t had casual flings himself. He just couldn’t with her. Never with her.
He started to settle himself on the floor. No need to bother with a comforter or any padding, he figured. He wasn’t going to get any sleep anyway.
CHAPTER EIGHT
ANGELINE STEPPED OUTSIDE into the gentle, warm air of the veranda where Mila, Tavov and R.J. were already seated around the table. A soft morning breeze caressed her bare arms and legs and ruffled the sundress she was wearing. In the distance, she could hear the gentle waves of the sea. Bright sunshine accented the brilliant green of the lush plants surrounding them.
“I hope I haven’t kept you waiting,” she said, addressing all three at the table. She picked up her dining napkin and sat down, trying to ignore the fluttering in her stomach caused by R.J.’s stare. Dear God, the man only had to look at her and her stomach did jumping jacks.
She’d woken in the middle of the night to find him sleeping on the floor. It had taken all she had not to pull him into bed with her. This morning he had showered silently and beat her downstairs.
“Not at all,” Mila answered her. “We’ve just been discussing the upcoming wedding.”
Tavov leaned over and patted his wife’s hand. “Mila’s very excited. Let me tell you a wedding around these parts is a grand affair.”
“Yes indeed.” His wife nodded. “There’ll be beautiful music, of course a ton of food. The whole village is set to attend. Everyone is just so excited.”
Angeline picked up a pastry from the large tray in the center of the table, a filo dough pocket stuffed with various cheeses. Steam rose from the hot center as she broke it open.
Taking a bite, she felt a pang of envy for the bride. How lucky to be looking forward to the rest of your life with the man you loved. She looked over at R.J. and found him staring at her. For a moment she could do nothing but hold his gaze. She had so anticipated their own marriage. By no means was it a grand affair. Just two people so in love they couldn’t wait to take on life together.
Mila’s voice broke through her thoughts. “I really think you’ll enjoy the celebration, Angel. We’re going to have folk dancers dressed in traditional costume. They’re the best in the area. And you and I will be able to help with the henna ceremony before the reception.”
“The henna ceremony?” Angeline asked, intrigued.
“Yes, it’s tradition. A craftswoman from the village will brand the young bride’s hands with decorative patterns using dark red henna. It’s absolutely beautiful. Such a shame it fades in a few weeks.
“The women will do that while the men tease the groom about the chains of married life.” She smiled at Tavov. “All the while, they’ll be relentlessly filling his glass with ouzo.”
R.J. shifted again, and Angel stole a glance at him. He seemed bothered.
“Sounds like a real fete,” R.J. declared then, before turning back to Tavov. “I think I’ll take you up on the tour of the grounds you offered earlier. If now is a good time.”
Angel felt an urge to throw the pastry at him. He was clearly trying to get away. From her.
Tavov nodded. “Yes, yes of course. Whenever you’re ready.”
“I’m ready right now,” he said as he finished off the rest of his breakfast.
The two men stood and made their way toward the orchards. Angeline watched R.J.’s retreating back and then turned to see Mila smiling at her.
“I can tell by the way you’re looking at your husband, as if you’d like to chase after him, that this trip is just what the two of you needed. I knew I was right about that. You love him very much, don’t you?”
Angeline tried not to gasp out loud. She could only nod. Adoration was definitely not the reason she wanted to chase after R.J. right now.
“It’s obvious you and R.J. are committed to each other,” Mila continued, oblivious to Angel’s true mood. “After all, every marriage has its difficult moments. I think you’re the perfect example for the young bride and groom. They’re really looking forward to meeting you.”
The grin faded quickly. The perfect couple? They weren’t even a real couple.
“Um—thank you,” was all she could mutter.
Mila suddenly smiled wider. “You know, I have the perfect idea.”
Oh, no. Another one of Mila’s great ideas. Angel knew she was going to regret what was coming next. “What’s that?”
“You and R.J. can offer the young couple a public toast after the nuptials. You know, along with their family and friends.”
“Us?”
“Yes of course. Some words of wisdom from a seasoned marriage to one about to bloom.”
Angel swallowed. Such a toast would be the most hypocritical thing she’d ever done. There had to be a way to get out of it. But she couldn’t see one.
“I—uh—But there must be other people more connected to the couple who would like to do the honors.” She knew it was a weak argument.
“Nonsense. It’s a rare treat to have newfound friends from so far away attend such a joyous occasion. Besides, what better than to have the lucky tidings of our guests from America to bestow the same good fortune you yourself have enjoyed.”
Angel wondered how often in the span of a few days she could be made to feel so horrible. She had no choice but to accept Mila’s request. What possible reason could she give to refuse?
“We’d love to do it,” she answered. R.J. was going to want to throttle her when he found out.
“That settles it, then,” Mila said, rising. “Now, why don’t you come with me while I go talk to the chef?”
“Actually, Mila, I was hoping I might be able to walk along the grounds a little. The plants are so lovely to look at.”
“Yes, they are, indeed. Even after all these years, every time I look out there, it still takes my breath away.” Her eyes grew distant before she sharply turned back to her. “Why don’t you wait a few minutes and that way I can accompany you?”
Angel shook her head. “No need to entertain me, Mila. I know you must be terribly busy. I’ll enjoy the solitude anyway.”
“All right, then. I shall find you for lunch or ev
en run into you sooner perhaps.”
Mila nodded and turned to leave, her full-length skirt swirling around her ankles.
“Um, Mila?” Angel stood.
“Yes, dear?”
“Speaking of the plants, would it be terribly harmful to unearth one of them? Perhaps one of the smaller ones?” she asked.
“Certainly.”
“Thank you. The scent is just so soothing. I was thinking how nice it would be to have it sit in a vase in our suite while we are here.”
“That smell is like no other in the world,” Mila agreed. “There are some younger, smaller plants on the southwest corner. You can unearth one of those. I’ll go find a vase for you.”
“Thank you,” Angel replied. Heaven knew she could use all the soothing and calming of her nerves that she could get whenever she and R.J. were alone in that room together.
* * *
“Mila told me I could find you here.”
Angel looked up from her crouched position on the ground. R.J. stood above her, his shoulders silhouetted against the bright rays of the sun. Shadow completely darkened his face. He looked like a mythical Greek god, come down from the heavens.
She brushed the dirt off her hands. “Yes, well. Here I am.”
“Nice hat,” he said with a smirk.
Angeline blew on the netting of the large safari hat Mila had lent her. “Yes, well it keeps the bugs off my face.”
He crouched down beside her. “What’s that smell?”
She deliberately misread his question. “The plants. They’re very floral.”
“I don’t mean that. What’s that awful, antiseptic-like smell?”
“It must be the dirt. It’s somewhat damp.”
He leaned closer to her and took a sniff. “Darling, I think it’s you. New perfume?”
Angel turned and gave him her most vile look. “I’m wearing bug spray, all right? A really strong bug spray. Mila gave it to me.”
“It is indeed strong.” He didn’t even try to hide his smirk. “What are you doing out here anyway?”
She resumed her digging. “I’m removing one of these plants.”