by Annie West
Still she refused to speak the words, though he knew she teetered on the brink of submission.
His body was on fire. His groin hard, hot and painfully tight. He could have her now on the chair behind her, or better yet, on the big desk. They both craved it. Craved each other.
Whether it was the realisation of how much he needed her or a remnant of his determination not to coerce, Sayid didn’t know. But he found himself dropping his hand. Her eyes snapped open, velvety warm and bewildered and he had to step back rather than lose any hope of thought.
‘Marriage is for the best, Lina.’
He watched her fight her way out of her sensual fog. It took a while, but he found little gratification in that since it took everything he had not to step in close again and let nature and their bodies do the thinking for them.
She shook her head. ‘I’ve given you my answer, Sayid. Not that there was a question, much less a proposal.’
His eyebrows shot up. ‘That’s what this is about? You want me down on bended knee, proposing?’
She laughed and he didn’t like the sound—so bitter. So unlike Lina. ‘Frankly, I can’t imagine you ever doing that.’ She paused as if gathering herself. ‘A proposal would have been nice but it wouldn’t make a difference. I can’t marry you.’
‘Can’t?’ Fury turned his voice into a baritone growl. ‘Or won’t?’
She didn’t even flinch. Just lifted her chin imperiously. ‘Both.’
Sayid took a long step towards her, so close the ravishing scent of her skin clogged his senses, but he was beyond being seduced. Besides, he was the master at that. Once more he lifted his arm, reached out to her and stopped, his hand hovering so close to her breast he could almost feel it. The expression in her eyes confirmed her response to his phantom caress.
‘You’ll change your mind.’ He took in her quickened pulse and the way she swayed towards him. Despite her rejection he caught the scent of female arousal as a musk undertone to that lavish rose scent. ‘You’re wet between the legs for me, aren’t you, Lina?’ Her glazed stare confirmed it. ‘You want me right here, right now. You want the pleasure I can give you. Only I can give you. You want to come with me inside you. Or against my hand, or my mouth.’
Sayid’s heart slammed against his ribcage in an urgent tattoo but he stood his ground, refusing to succumb to the need his own words evoked.
Lina swallowed hard and triumph buzzed in his veins. She shook like a leaf, trying to fight the inevitable.
‘But know this. There will be no more sex until you agree to marry me. No more climaxes. No more kisses.’ She gazed at him in disbelief. ‘Nothing, until you say yes.’
Her breathing was a raw scratch of sound. Her cheeks flushed with an erotic heat he recognised. Just talking about climaxes aroused her. Lina was as highly sexed as he. She needed him. This, if nothing else, was her secret weakness and he had no qualms about exploiting it.
Sayid was congratulating himself on finding the perfect strategy for victory when Lina stunned him by stepping back. Her chest heaved and she clung once more to the chair back, but she stood there, staring up at him as if she’d never seen him before.
Something cold and hard sank in his belly.
‘Then I’ll just have to live without.’ Her choked, uneven voice detracted from her defiance, but the look in her eyes told Sayid she was dead serious. She drew herself up to her full height. ‘Thank you for the...consideration. I’m sorry I can’t accept. I’ll pack my bags and leave the palace.’
She turned and walked towards the door.
Away from him! Dismissing him and his honourable offer.
‘Don’t walk away from me!’ His voice was a roar that filled the vast chamber. He who rarely raised his voice. ‘I didn’t give you permission to leave.’
She flinched, her shoulders lifting high, making him feel like a brute. Except that was ridiculous. He was her Sheikh and her lover. He deserved better.
Slowly Lina turned. When she did, instead of facing him with that determined, glittering gaze, she sank flat to the floor in an old-fashioned gesture of obeisance. The sort of thing he abhorred. The sort of servile gesture his autocratic uncle had loved.
Damn Lina. She did this deliberately. He was not turning into his uncle. Hadn’t he given Lina the education she’d craved? A chance to experience the world beyond Halarq’s borders?
And shown her too how to please a man. How to use her body for his pleasure.
Ice skated through him, freezing the fire in his veins.
Finally she looked up. Lina might be sprawled on the floor like some obedient courtier, but her eyes blazed.
‘You don’t really want me, Sayid. You just don’t like being crossed. When you think it through you’ll realise it’s better if I go.’
Sayid’s hands curled into fists that shook with the effort it took not to haul her up and over his shoulder.
How dare she tell him what he wanted? As if she knew best? He was doing this for her. Because what happened to her mattered to him. Yet she threw that back in his face!
‘You may rise.’ His voice was devoid of emotion. He refused to abase himself any further.
Lina rose from the carpet with a grace that only irked him.
‘You may go.’
Was that a flash of hurt in her expression? Sayid couldn’t be sure but it gave him hope, even as he felt a pang in response. He knew he’d prevail but he’d prefer to resolve this as soon as possible. He sighed. There’d be no resolution right now. Lina was so stubborn it would take a few hours at least, if not days for her to see what was before her eyes—that marriage was the ideal solution for them both.
‘Don’t pack your bags. You’re not leaving the palace.’
She spun round in a swirl of skirts. His eyes dropped to her long, shapely legs then back up to her face.
‘But it’s best if I—’
‘You agreed to work with the community liaison team to pay your debt to me.’ He paused, watching her frown. ‘Then you agreed to be my lover for seven days as an alternative.’
He waited for some sign that she understood the implications. When she didn’t he went on, keeping his own features expressionless. ‘We’ve only had five days together so the debt isn’t paid.’
Lina opened her mouth as if to protest, then snapped it shut, her eyes narrowing on him. Sayid didn’t care about her anger. What he cared about was getting what he wanted.
‘Which means you still owe me for your education. I’ll tell my staff you’ll be working with them again in community liaison. We’ll discuss later just how long it will take you to pay off the debt.’
He turned to his desk.
He had her now, he knew. Her honour wouldn’t let her leave till she’d repaid the debt, even if she resented his devil’s bargain. Given time Lina would see the wisdom of his scheme. And with her passionate nature it wouldn’t be long before she was knocking on his door, begging him to make love to her. She might put on a fine show now but she wouldn’t resist indefinitely.
Sayid hid a satisfied smile as he sat at his desk and looked towards the door.
Lina had gone. For there was nothing she could say, no argument she could make.
He’d won.
It was just a matter of waiting till she admitted it.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
A DAY PASSED, then two. By the third day Sayid’s smugness morphed into disquiet. Yet he didn’t soften. He held all the aces and there was no way he’d relinquish his winning hand. Lina was his.
Three days became five, became a week and his patience frayed. Sleep eluded him, but for snatches just long enough for him to dream of Lina torturing him with her beautiful, bountiful body and her defiant attitude, teasing him then walking away, laughing as he fought to follow.
His patience with long-winded officials grew short, which bizar
rely had the twofold consequence of making meetings more efficient and winning him respect from the elder statesmen who’d been wary of his attempts to achieve goals through consensus.
Pain throbbed constantly at the back of his skull because the muscles in his shoulders and neck refused to relax. Plus there was a low-grade ache in his belly he’d never had before. Fleetingly he wondered if it might be fear, except that was impossible. He was a soldier. He’d risked his life more than once.
Lina avoided him. The only time they’d come close was two days after his ultimatum in the library. She must have been waiting for him, for she appeared out of nowhere as he made his way to an audience with provincial leaders. She’d picked her time, as for once Makram, who usually accompanied him, was already in the audience chamber.
Sayid’s heart had hit a triumphant beat as Lina sidled out from the arcade of pillars. He’d been sure she was there to capitulate.
Instead, eyes sombre, she’d sunk into one of those damnable deep curtseys as if she were a complete stranger, not his lover. When she rose her eyes looked dull and he’d wanted to pull her close. Never had he seen her look so listless.
‘I just came to reassure you,’ she’d said, her voice so low he had to lean in to catch it. ‘I’m not pregnant.’
Then, as he opened his mouth to speak, she glided away so swiftly she was almost running.
Sayid was left gaping, unsure what he’d been going to say, suspecting it would have been words of tenderness. For despite his anger at her stubbornness, he hated seeing her distress.
Besides, it wasn’t relief he felt at her news. It was loss. His belly clamped on regret.
Nor was it simply because pregnancy would make this simpler. He was sure Lina would agree to marry him if she carried his child.
No, it was because to his amazement he discovered he wanted a child with Lina!
He’d never particularly wanted a family before, though he knew it was his duty. Now the idea of children with Lina danced before him, tantalising and desirable.
At a visceral level Sayid wanted her pregnant with his baby. He wanted to claim her, wanted all the world to know she was his and no one else’s.
He’d made his way to the audience chamber and struggled through presentations and petitions. Thankfully his staff kept things moving when he lapsed more than once into distraction.
Now, a week after he’d invited Lina to marry him, Sayid had had enough. He’d been more patient than any other man would be in the circumstances. For he cared about her. He genuinely wanted her happy and safe.
Lina was in his blood, his mind, every minute of every hour. He had to resolve this.
He pushed open the door from his private courtyard into her apartment. At least she hadn’t locked it against him.
It was so early she might still be in bed. Sayid told himself he hadn’t chosen this time in the hope of finding her asleep and off guard, more vulnerable to...persuasion.
But she was awake, awake and dressed in a long robe that covered her from neck to ankles. Her eyes met his as she stepped out of the bathroom, hands yanking the belt tight around her waist.
‘Sayid? What’s wrong?’
His gaze ate her. From her glorious eyes to her hair cascading over her shoulders to her slim waist, right down to her bare feet that somehow seemed decadently sensual when the rest of her was covered.
His blood fizzed as if filled with champagne, his belly tightened as want swamped him. More than want. He felt—
Sayid dragged his mind back to his purpose. He strode to the lounge chairs clustered near the window and gestured for her to take one. ‘We need to talk. About marriage.’
Instantly she paled. Then predictably her jaw set. ‘There’s nothing to be said.’
Sayid lowered himself into a chair, resting his arms along the upholstered arms and leaning back, ostensibly at ease despite the thunder of his pulse. He refused to let her intransigence unsettle him.
‘You haven’t given me a reason. I deserve an explanation.’
As he watched she swiped her bottom lip with her tongue and moved to one of the other chairs. Not to sit, but to grab it with one white-knuckled hand.
Her distress made him feel wrong inside. But he was trying to do right by her! Surveying her, his indignation drained away, replaced by concern. How did she do that to him?
‘Tell me, Lina.’
She stood, head bowing between her shoulders as if the weight of the world pushed down on her. Finally she stood straighter, her eyes locking with his.
‘You set me free,’ she said at last. ‘You gave me the right to choose a future for myself.’ With each word her whispering voice strengthened. ‘I came to you convinced I had no choice, that I must do whatever you demanded.’
Nausea blasted him, bile rising to his tongue. ‘You’re saying you had sex with me because you felt compelled?’ Sayid was on his feet, drenched in sweat. His skin crawled as if bitten by a million voracious desert ants.
‘No, no!’ Her dark hair cascaded around her as she shook her head. ‘I’m talking about before, when I first came to the palace.’ She clasped her hands before her. ‘I don’t think you understand what your generosity did for me, Sayid. You freed me, made me feel whole. You gave me respect and hope.’ She shrugged. ‘As for our...for sex. I chose to accept your suggestion because—’ again her pink tongue slicked her lip ‘—because I wanted to.’
Sayid frowned. There was a note in her voice that nagged. Didn’t she want him any more? It was impossible that he was tortured by her absence from his bed while she felt nothing.
‘You were happy with me.’ And it hadn’t just been the sex, he was sure of it. ‘Yet you say you don’t want to be my wife.’ He stiffened. ‘Why?’
For a second longer she held his stare, then her gaze slid away. He sensed she hid something, but what?
When she finally spoke, Lina pretended an interest in the courtyard beyond. ‘You don’t really want to marry me, Sayid. You simply feel obliged. But obligation isn’t the way to happiness.’
He scowled. ‘You refuse me because I want to protect you?’ It made no sense. ‘I offer you my name, my wealth, my protection and that’s not enough?’
* * *
Lina heard his razor-sharp disbelief and forced herself to stand steady. Even now the temptation to weaken and accept him was strong.
‘No, it’s not enough.’ She stared into his glittering gaze and threw caution to the wind. Sayid would give her no peace till she told him the truth, or at least part of it.
‘You helped me believe in myself. To see that I could shape my life the way I wanted. That I had a right to self-determination. And I’ve decided I want...more from marriage.’
‘More than me?’ He looked so incredulous Lina would have laughed if her heart weren’t stretched to breaking point.
Sayid was right. He was so patently the stuff of feminine dreams. Caring, generous, honourable, passionate and handsome. He made problems disappear. He had money and power and...
She had to say no because she loved him. Because such an unequal relationship could lead only to misery.
Her fingers knotted together. ‘I want a man who wants me for myself. I want love, Sayid.’
His eyes bulged, then narrowed on her as if seeing her for the first time.
‘I know that’s not how royal marriages are arranged. Even in my own family weddings aren’t necessarily about...caring.’ She swallowed hard. ‘But I want more than a protector or provider. I don’t want to be always indebted to my husband for saving me. I don’t want to feel grateful because he deigned to choose me despite our hugely different social standings. I’ve seen what that did to my mother. It would destroy my self-respect.’
Even though she craved Sayid with every cell in her body.
Sayid stalked to the window, his back turned. ‘Clearly that’s
more important to you than I am.’
‘I...care for you, Sayid.’
He whipped around, his face tight. The high thrust of his cheekbones and the proud angle of his nose seemed more severely sculpted than she remembered.
‘You have a strange way of showing it.’
How dared he?
How dared he? She was trying to explain but it was like addressing the desert wind, biting and unforgiving.
‘You think I should just agree with everything you say and do? You think that’s true caring?’ She sucked oxygen into her starved lungs and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold in the pain spilling from her heart.
‘I care, Sayid. I began caring for you when you were so kind to me. When you left me unmolested, and when you gave me the precious gift of an education.’
The tightness bracketing his mouth eased and his eyes softened.
‘I cared even though you never expressed any pride in me or what I’d done. When I—’
The downward slice of his hand through the air cut off her words. ‘You thought I wasn’t proud of you?’ He shook his head, looking stunned. ‘But I invited you to represent the palace in that community engagement job! I invited you to attend royal events. I—’
‘You never said anything to me.’
Sayid looked astounded as if she’d just tugged the fine silk carpet out from beneath his feet. Finally he spoke. ‘Then let me say now that I have nothing but admiration for your achievements, Lina. Few people could have adapted and succeeded the way you did.’ Sincerity throbbed in every syllable and it was like balm to her wounded soul.
‘Thank you.’
But it wasn’t his approval she wanted.
‘I cared for you enough to take you as my lover,’ she said. Though it had been Sayid doing the taking, the sharing and demonstrating, initiating her to pleasure.
‘I cared for you even more when I saw how hard you work for your people and how seriously you take your responsibilities.’ She looked him full in the face. ‘And I still care, even though lately you’ve acted like a toddler having a tantrum, throwing your weight around because you can’t get your own way.’