Tattered Loyalties

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  And as long as he kept telling himself that, he’d be okay.

  His cock ached since he couldn’t get her out of his head, but he ignored it like he was ignoring everything else. Instead of dealing with it, he’d work out to burn off some adrenaline, then wait for Brynn to show up so they could watch a movie before they met with the elders that night. He tried to spend time with each of his siblings, and Brynn was his favorite—not that he’d tell her or the others that. Unlike the Jamensons, the lone daughter in the Brentwood family wasn’t the youngest. They all might have treated her as though she was, but she fought back and was stronger for it.

  Gideon sighed then stripped off his shirt so he could get a workout in. That would help him burn off some of the adrenaline in his system so he could face the day. The way his thoughts kept drifting to Brie and those plump lips of hers, it seemed he’d be doing a lot of extra workouts in the future.

  He gripped the bar at the top of his doorway and started doing pull-ups. About three hundred or so would help him start to feel the burn. Being a wolf—an Alpha wolf at that—helped with the endurance. When he got to about a hundred, someone knocked at the front door. He set his feet on the ground and inhaled.

  Well hell.

  This could either help him out or be really shitty timing.

  He strode to the door, wiping his chest down with his shirt, and opened the door. “Iona.”

  The high-ranking female grinned at him, her eyes bright and glued to his naked chest. Gideon didn’t have a girlfriend or anyone he had a real commitment to. It was hard as wolves to date and be serious when they weren’t potential mates. Once a wolf found their potential, it was hard as hell to want to stay with the other person. Their wolves would push them toward the one who was perfect for them according to fate, rather than the one the human had chosen. Sometimes it worked out with the original person and mating bonds formed over time without fate intervening, but it wasn’t easy.

  Iona wasn’t a wolf he’d ever mate or love. In fact, he knew Iona wanted him only for his cock, so he didn’t feel bad that he didn’t want her for more.

  Right then, though, he wasn’t sure he wanted her in his bed today.

  Maybe not ever again.

  And the fact that he knew it was because of a certain green-eyed wolf made him wary.

  “Gideon,” she purred then ran her finger down his chest. Once, that would have set his wolf on edge and he’d have pulled her inside. Iona was hella good in bed and usually could help his wolf calm down if he worked them both into a sweaty mess. Today, though, he wanted nothing to do with her. Her touch made his skin crawl.

  He gripped her hand and stilled her before she could go any lower. He liked Iona. She was a good person, a fantastic fighter, great in bed, and didn’t take what they had too seriously.

  Yet he didn’t want her in his bed anymore.

  Not since he’d seen Brie.

  Just the idea of having Iona beneath him made his wolf growl and his cock deflate.

  Iona frowned and looked down at his crotch. “What’s wrong?” she asked, taking her hand back. She tilted her head and inhaled. “You were all revved up when I opened the door. I scented it. Now you’re cold as ice. What’s up your ass?” She pushed at his chest and growled.

  Gideon lifted one lip in a snarl, letting some of his power push out toward her. This was why he was careful who he slept with inside the Pack. Just because someone shared his bed occasionally didn’t give them the right to jump beyond their place in the hierarchy. She wasn’t his mate and Alpha wolf, and she wasn’t even the most dominant female in the Pack. He hoped she wasn’t getting ideas because he sure as hell wasn’t in the mood to deal with it.

  Her eyes widened and then lowered before she bared her throat. “I meant no disrespect, Alpha.”

  “I hope not,” he said, his voice low. “I’m meeting Brynn soon, and then I have a meeting with the elders. What I do beyond that is none of your business. Not anymore.” He held back a flinch. Fuck. He wasn’t saying the right words, and he was being an asshole.

  She raised her head then narrowed her eyes. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I’ll be back once you figure out what you want.”

  It won’t be you.

  Thankfully, because he knew better than to be a complete asshole to a woman, he didn’t say that.

  “We’re done, Iona. What we had was good, but it’s time to move on.”

  “Excuse me? You don’t just get to decide when it’s time to break up. You might be my Alpha, but that doesn’t give you the right to make my choices.”

  Gideon closed his eyes and prayed for patience—for himself and for her. “First, we’re not together. We never were. We both made that clear long ago. In fact, you were the one who first said you wanted to roam in order to find your mate. Second, if I don’t want you in my bed anymore, then it’s my choice. We both have to want it for it to work, and I don’t want it anymore. So don’t think that you can dictate to me because, if you wanted me out, I’d be out. That is what we had. Nothing more. Nothing less. Don’t try to act like I’m your mate because we both know that was never a possibility.”

  No, his mate was Brie, and he was sure not going to let that happen either.

  Not when his Pack would eat her alive.

  Iona raised her chin, but because she didn’t meet his gaze directly, he didn’t call her on it. “We’ll see.”

  She stormed away, and he let out a breath. He was going to have to watch her to make sure she didn’t fuck up things for the Pack, but that was his fault. He was the one who’d wanted to fuck her, so now he had to deal with the outcome of them not seeing to each other’s needs anymore.

  For the time being, the only person seeing to his needs was himself. His hand was going to get a fucking workout it seemed.

  “You sure have a way with the ladies, big brother,” Brynn teased as she made her way to his side.

  Gideon closed his eyes yet again and prayed for patience. Of course his sister would be there to witness him being an asshole. Why wouldn’t fate provide her, and thereby the rest of the Brentwoods, entertainment?

  “Did you have to watch everything?” he growled, moving to the side to let her in the house. “Can’t some things be private?”

  Brynn snorted then headed to the kitchen. She pulled out a couple beers and handed him one. “Really? Privacy? Hello, big brother, you were on the fucking porch having your conversation with Iona. It’s not like you were in your secret room whispering. No, you were outside where the whole world could hear you lay down the law.” She held up her hand to quiet him. “I’m not saying what you did was wrong because, come on, she’s not your mate. If it’s not working for either one of you, then it’s stupid to keep screwing. You might have done it a little less harshly, but we both know Iona, and sweet and kind doesn’t work with her. Other than writing in a big marker on her forehead that you’re through with her, I’m not sure how else you could have gone about it.”

  Gideon laughed, despite himself. “A marker?”

  Brynn shrugged, her eyes sparkling. “I don’t like her since she’s always been a bitch to me. She doesn’t like that I’m more dominant than she is and that I have better boobs. She always tries to pick fights with me but loses when I actually let her nip at my heels. You have poor taste in bed partners, but whatever. It’s not my bed.”

  Gideon just shook his head then went back to his room to pull on another shirt. It looked as though he wouldn’t be finishing his workout until after the elder meeting. That sucked considering he probably could have gotten rid of the extra aggression in his system before he met with some of the elders. Sure, a few were nice and not as batshit crazy as others, but there was at least one—Shannon—who hated him.

  She’d been an elder during his father’s reign and had loved the brutal way Joseph had ruled his Pack. She liked the whippings, beheadings, and other cruel punishments and had even helped sentence some of the wolves who had risen against Joseph’s rule. Gideon a
nd his brothers, cousins, and Brynn had done their best to save those they could, but there was only so much they could do in a flawed system.

  The power might have been in the Alpha’s hands, but it was the role of a good Alpha to ensure that power didn’t become corrupt. Joseph had succumbed to the temptation of absolute power and cruelty, and the Pack had suffered for it.

  Shannon was a symbol of a past that Gideon was still fighting to overcome. As much as he wanted to banish her from the Pack, so she wouldn’t interfere with his rule, he couldn’t. The elders were there for a reason. They didn’t interfere with the Alpha, but they were there to see that the laws of their people were being followed. When the Alpha and the elders worked together—like Gideon did with another elder named Xavier—things worked smoothly. When one was trying to oust the other, then things got complicated fast.

  Gideon didn’t know the underlying reason for this meeting today. He knew only that the elders had requested his presence. Request, though, was putting it lightly. As long as he didn’t have a war or more pressing matters like trying to survive, he didn’t really have a choice in the matter. Refusing to see them would be an act of disrespect, and if he showed such disrespect to the elders, then it was setting a bad precedent for the entire Pack. It was a tricky path to walk, and he hated it. However, as the Alpha, he didn’t have a choice.

  Maybe if he had a mate, things would have been and would be easier. He could rely on her for things like this and find a balance. But he didn’t have a mate. The only one fate had given him was so ill-suited for him that it wasn’t even a choice. His wolf pushed at him with the thought of her, and he held back a growl. He couldn’t let her fill is mind and soul, not when so much rode on his control. Like he’d done before, he pushed Brie from his mind and tried to focus on the matters at hand.

  There were only a few short hours of relaxation remaining before he had to assume the role of political Alpha, using his voice instead of claws to make his point. As with human politicians, he wasn’t his own person—not that he’d ever been.

  “So, what movie are we watching?” Brynn asked from the living room. She’d already popped popcorn and was munching down.

  He had to grin at her. Brynn had seen her share of pain and heartache and, as a result, wasn’t the softest person to get to know, but when things counted, she was one of the sweetest. He wasn’t sure why the goddess hadn’t blessed her with any of the powers that came from the Pack since she was blood, but there had to be a reason. She was destined for great things. It just didn’t happen to be as a Beta, Omega, or Healer. Hell, she’d make a fucking good Alpha—but he’d never tell her that.

  “Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?” She scrunched her eyes, and he snorted.

  “Just thinking. Ignore me. As for the movie, something with fighting that we can make fun of works. I like watching to see if they actually have the moves down or if it’s too Hollywood.”

  She smiled then hit play on the remote. “Good. Because I already picked it out.”

  He rolled his eyes then sat down next to her, and stole the bowl of popcorn. He should have known she’d pick the movie. He might be Alpha of the Pack, and this might be his house, but Brynn owned the remote. It was just the way things worked.

  They watched the movie and compared notes, yelling when the bad guy did something completely stupid so the hero could win. It never worked that way in real life. The villain didn’t make a mistake, and the hero didn’t magically find a way to use that mistake to win. The only way for the hero to win was to find a way to break the villain down, to find that weakness. In the process, the hero’s weakness might prove too much, and the villain could win. It took more than a promise and luck to win. It took sacrifice and the idea that maybe the hero wasn’t so heroic, but maybe just a little less dark than the bad guy.

  Gideon let out a breath then turned off the TV once the credits started to roll.

  This was a difficult time for the Pack. Instead of being able to fully move forward and find a way to protect his Pack from what could be coming, Gideon still had to straddle the line between his past and his present. He didn’t like thinking about his father and how he’d succeeded his father as Alpha. He knew he had to think of the future and plan accordingly—hence the tunnels between dens and the meetings with the Redwoods—he couldn’t engage to the full extent of his power. The past wouldn’t go away, no matter what he did, and now the elders wanted to speak to him, which reinforced the fact that he could never leave that past behind.

  There had to be a resolution of the past, present and future before he and his Pack could move forward.

  He was exhausted merely thinking about it.

  “You ready to head out?” Brynn asked.

  He stood and stretched. “Yeah. We meeting Mitchell and Ryder there?” The elders had asked his Heir and Beta to join them. Brynn would be going as the most dominant female of the Pack. Usually, in these cases, the Alpha would bring his mate, but seeing how he didn’t have one, Brynn had to fill that role.

  Just another reason Brie wouldn’t work for him. He wouldn’t want to force her into that kind of position.

  Hell, he needed to stop thinking of her. It wasn’t helping anyone, and it was only making him angrier at the cards he’d been dealt.

  “That’s what they said,” Brynn answered as she led them out of his home. “You know what this meeting is about?”

  “No clue. I hate when they do this. For all I know, they just want to see how the meeting with the Redwoods went, but if they really cared, they could have sent Xavier to come with me. I don’t mind if he comes to those kind of meetings.”

  “Yeah, and Shannon knows that. She’d rather have you come and lay prostrate at her feet than actually use common sense and have one of them act like they’re part of the Pack, rather than on the periphery.”

  “Don’t start, Brynn. I’m not in the mood to deal with your logic.” His wolf rumbled, pacing. Neither of them wanted to deal with what they had to do and he knew for a fact his wolf would rather be with a certain green-eyed wolf, but that wasn’t about to happen.

  Ever.

  “By logic you mean logic that makes sense rather than whatever they say, but sure. Let’s just get this over with.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  They made their way to the other side of the den where the elders kept their residences. They were far older than any of the wolves in the Pack and liked to be off to themselves. All of them were either unmated or had lost their mates years before, so they had essentially cut themselves off when they got to an age when it was too hard to look into the future while the past filled their minds.

  Gideon knew of one Redwood elder who had found a mate years after she’d given up on having a future, but that was a rare occurrence. The Talon elders were old and set in their ways.

  Especially Shannon.

  Mitchell and Ryder were already in the center of the elder area, standing on the outside of the rock circle where they all would eventually sit. Neither of them looked happy to be there, and Gideon couldn’t blame them.

  “You’re not going to believe who else got invited,” Mitchell said softly when Gideon and Brynn walked up.

  Gideon frowned. “Who?” He didn’t need an answer though. He saw and scented her as soon as he said it. “Why the fuck is Iona here?”

  “Want me to knock her down a peg?” Brynn asked. “I promise not to maim her pretty face.” She paused. “Much.”

  “We’re in the elder area, Brynn,” Ryder said softly. “Try not to kill anyone in front of them. It gets them all riled up.”

  Gideon ground his teeth together. “I don’t like the look of this. Iona isn’t part of the upper circle, so why the hell would the elders invite her?”

  “She’s here because we asked her to be,” Shannon snapped as she walked toward them. She looked to be in her thirties, just like the rest of them, but her eyes spoke of centuries of memories. “Sit down, and we’l
l get to it.”

  Gideon growled. “I’m here because you asked, but you don’t get to order me around.”

  “Respect your elders,” Shannon growled back.

  “Shannon, take a step back,” Xavier said smoothly from her side. “Everyone, please take a seat if you will. Then we can start the discussion.” The older male wolf gave Gideon a look he couldn’t decipher then sat.

  Since Xavier sat first, Gideon gave his family a nod. Mitchell, Brynn, and Ryder sat down at the same time as Iona. Gideon raised his chin then waited for Shannon to sit. As much as the woman wanted to fight, she didn’t. She sat down first, her wolf much less dominant than his, and then he sat down. He didn’t like power games, but he had to play them with this wolf in particular.

  “Why have you called us here?” Gideon asked, tired. Normally, he might have tried to be a little more tactful, but he had a bad feeling about this meeting. Add in the fact that Iona was here when she’d never been part of meetings with the elders before, as far as he knew, and it just didn’t sit right with him.

  “It’s come to our attention that you’ve been leading our Pack for three decades now without a mate.”

  Gideon froze at Shannon’s words.

  What. The. Fuck.

  He held up his hand as his family started to speak. They were here for him, but since this was apparently about him, he’d be the one to speak for now.

  “That is correct, though I don’t know why it’s suddenly now a surprise. I’ve yet to bond with a mate.” He was careful not to say find his mate for that would be a lie, and he knew the others might scent the lie on him. He might have been able to hide it under normal circumstances, but his wolf was on edge from meeting Brie and now this summons. He didn’t want to risk it.

  Shannon raised one side of her mouth in a smile. “While it was okay for you to go mateless for so long as an Heir under Joseph’s rule, you’ve been alone during these times for an exceedingly long wait. We’ve been…patient waiting for the moon goddess to bless you. I know after the Central war there was a time of unrest when no Talon was mating, but that is not the case anymore. Yet you’ve not found your mate. That is unacceptable.”