by Nana Malone
I rolled my shoulders. I hated that she was right. I hated that Jessa was just across the hall where I could walk right over there, pound on the door and demand that she go out with me. That was stupid, because I never had to beg anyone. And I certainly wasn’t going to start with her.
But Ariel had a point. I had a job to do. And sometimes, it was easier to catch prey with honey instead of vinegar. I was going to be so sweet to her she might even get a cavity. Watch, with my luck, she might not even like candy.
11
Jessa…
Leaving the Tillerman Gala planning meeting, my mind was spinning. There was so much to do. And I was operating on very little sleep.
Last night, the plan had been to have a glass of wine then start going through my father’s things. But then Ariel had texted. A glass had turned into three. And those boxes had gone untouched.
But it had been fun. Ariel was funny and irreverent. And it seemed she thought Roone was a pompous asshat too. Okay fine, so she hadn’t said asshat. She’d said he was a little arrogant. She’d also said there was something really appealing about him. Apparently, Ariel was a slave to her lady parts too.
So with a slightly foggy brain, I’d had to have several cups of coffee to handle the day. And it was a good thing I had. The director of the opera house had called that morning wanting to discuss logistics. There’d been unforeseen construction needed in part of the building, so we were going to lose some square footage for the gala.
I hadn’t had much choice, I’d had to go and meet with him. Which meant, I’d had to let Roone handle the Meet Cute meeting we’d had scheduled for that morning. I prayed to god he hadn’t screwed it up.
How badly could he screw up, after all? It was a basic intake meeting to get a feel for the company’s marketing ideas. Her likes and dislikes. What had been working for her so far. Chloe had accompanied him, so how badly could it have gone?
You really want to ask that question?
I shot Chloe a test to check in.
Jessa: The meeting go okay?
Chloe: Yeah, fine I guess. But both Mr. Shagable and the client seemed in a real hurry to get out of there.
I frowned.
Jessa: Any idea why?
Chloe: Both looked surprised that you weren’t there.
Damnit.
Jessa: Was Ariel angry?
Chloe: No. Just confused.
Fantastic. I’d called and left her a message, but maybe she hadn’t gotten it.
Jessa: Any idea where Roone is?
It might be a good idea to see how he was feeling after the meeting.
Chloe: I saw him heading to the gym as I was leaving for my daily hot chocolate.
I hated that I hadn’t been there that morning. While Meet Cute was a priority, I still had other client projects I was dealing with, and the gala required some focus. But I would fix it.
Or maybe you’re spread too thin and need to lean on Roone.
Nope. Never going to happen.
He was untested. So for now, I’d just have to find a way to do everything. I shouldn’t have skipped that meeting.
Or maybe he was ticked because I’d blown him off last night. The message I had gotten from Haley was that she'd actually had a lot of fun with Roone, and she asked if she could keep seeing him. Imagine that. He was my date cast-off, and she was trying to keep him.
You don’t like him.
I most certainly didn't. But I was still miffed that he’d gone through with the date. Or maybe he thought we looked enough alike that he didn’t care.
Haley was a friend of mine from Pilates class. We looked similar enough. Even though she was an Essex girl of Italian heritage and I was a biracial vagabond, we looked an awful lot alike.
How long had it taken him to notice I’d sent a replacement? Not that it mattered, but I was curious.
If you’re so curious, you should have gone on the date.
I didn’t relish telling the Evans that I’d ditched my date, but hey, I’d been busy. I stopped short when I entered my office. Chloe was likely still on her hot chocolate run, but there was a beautifully wrapped shopping bag on top of my desk. A gorgeous bubblegum pink bag with a black satin ribbon from Ketter's. Linda Ketter owned a fabulous boutique just down the road. She had jewelry, trinkets, and music boxes. Basically, all those pretty kinds of things that your mother or grandmother would frequent to buy gifts for people. I approached the bag warily.
It's not a bomb.
No, it likely wasn't, but the hairs standing up on the nape of my neck told me to be wary. I dropped my notebook on my desk and couldn't quell the rush of glee as I parted the bright pink wrapping. I took the card out first, embroidered, with my name. My fingers played over the decadent lettering. "Since you missed out on our date... "
Roone.
Of course, it was from Roone. Who else would it be from? I told myself I didn't care what was inside the bag, but that was a lie. I cared very much. Reaching in tentatively, I pulled out the black box and then placed it on my desk.
What were the chances that he'd put something awful in there? Tricking me, making me think it would be something pretty.
You don't even know him that well. Why would he even want to fuck with you like that?
This was true, but we'd established a rapport, as it were, and it was my turn to get the shaft. Nevertheless, I flipped open the box with my fingernail, pushed it back, and gasped when I saw what was inside. It was a snow globe, the kind with glittery confetti that fell down. But what was truly fascinating was the display inside the snow globe. Acrobats. Trapeze acrobats to be precise.
When I was nine, my mother and father had taken me to the circus. I’d watched in rapt fascination as women were tossed in midair and then caught. The level of trust, the level of daring, the athleticism. I'd been so fascinated that I'd proclaimed I wanted to be a trapeze artist when I grew up.
Little did I know at the time that the career would actually involve running away to the circus. But my mother had smiled and told me if I really wanted to, I could join Cirque du Soleil. Immediately, I’d joined gymnastics and ballet and all those kinds of things.
Before your life as you knew it ended.
Nevertheless, I loved it. How had he known?
Your dating profile.
Oh yeah, that. I was suddenly wishing I hadn't been so honest. But it had asked for my happiest childhood memory. Without thinking, I'd just put it down.
And that had been my first date. The date I ditched. As if it were possible to feel even worse. Dammit.
I delicately turned the snow globe over, shaking it up, making the glitter disperse. And then I leaned forward to watch the glittery snow fall. It was beautiful. But I couldn't accept it.
With a sigh, I wrapped the globe back up in its pretty little box and put it back into the Ketter's bag. Chloe walked in just as I was standing.
"There you are. Everything okay with the venue?"
"We’ll need to make some changes if we want to use it. I have some notes that I'll need you to type up, and then I need you to start looking at alternative venues. I'll be back in a minute. I need to return something."
She eyed the bag. "Oh, a Ketter's bag. What'd you get?"
"It's not for me."
She frowned. "Well what's in it?"
"Nothing I get to keep, so I'll be back." I left her standing there, eyeing me quizzically. I didn't want to get into it because I knew what she would say. She was all-in for the Meet Cute app.
I didn't even knock before walking right in. The man was doing pull ups, for the love of God. And they were doing amazing things for his biceps… strictly an observation, of course.
He jumped down after his rep. "Jessa, lovely to see you. Would have been lovelier to see you last night."
I placed the bag delicately on the floor next to him. "Thank you, but no thank you. I can't accept this."
He scooped up his water bottle before leaning against the leg press. His smile was slow a
nd lazy. "Sure, you can. It's a gift."
"No. I can't. It's too much. I know how much things in that store cost. And we work together. I can't accept things like this from you."
"Yes, you can. You agreed to use the app, and then you stood me up. Imagine my surprise when the very attractive Haley turned up instead of you. Granted, she was far better company than I think you ever would have been. But I was still expecting you."
I tilted my chin up. “I’m surprised you even noticed I didn’t show.”
Roone…
Was she insane? Of course, I’d noticed. My date had been far too agreeable for one.
Call me insane, but I liked seeing Jessa pissed off. Granted, I wasn't sure why she was so pissed this time, but that was sort of par for the course with us. "You can't be mad about the gift. You stood me up."
"I just got busy."
"Busy. Right. Why can't you just admit that you felt the overwhelming connection between us, and you couldn't handle it, so you bailed?"
Her mouth fell open, and she sputtered. "Oh, you wish that was the reason."
"Well, if that wasn't the reason go ahead, tell me."
Jessa stood there shifting on her feet, glancing around the gym. “You know no one uses this gym, right?”
Ahh, changing the subject. “Well, the treadmill I ordered hasn’t been delivered to my flat yet, so this is what I’ve got since it’s raining outside.”
“You ordered a treadmill? That’s permanent. I guess you’re really moving in.”
“Yeah, of course it’s permanent. Did you think I’d pack up and go? No, don’t answer that. Besides, even if it’s temporary, I still want to make it seem like home.”
"That's so strange. Even when I stay somewhere a long time, I never can seem to unpack."
"Oh, what's that? Did you actually just share something about yourself with me?"
She scowled. "No. Not on purpose anyway."
"Well, you could have shared plenty with me last night. But you stood me up."
Jessa rolled her shoulders and turned to leave. "You probably had a lot more fun with Haley anyway. She was positively gushing about you."
My lips curled into a smile. "You jealous, princess?"
She whipped around to face me. "No. I didn't have time for a date, so I chose not to come."
"Well then, why are you miffed that you missed out on a good time? If you'd come, we would have done trapeze. Since I don't particularly love heights, I assume trapeze is something that you would have loved?"
She cleared her throat and shifted on her feet again. "Maybe. And thank you for the gift, but I can't keep it."
I shook my head. "It's yours. I don't want it."
"Fine, then return it or something."
Crossing my arms, I asked, "Just tell me. Why don't you like me again? Because my instincts are always right, and I'm pretty sure when you met me at the party you liked me. Dilated pupils, lots of lip licking, that pretty pink pout."
I leaned closer. I could feel her heat, I could also feel her energy twitching to smack me. Just the thought of if sent an electrical current along my dick. There was something really twisted and wrong with me.
Dick: Who cares. If she slaps you, can we bang her?
Me: No. No banging the princess.
Dick: I hate you.
"So, you liked me then. What changed? Why did you go from liking me and thinking of me as potentially fuckable to hating me?"
"You flatter yourself. I don't hate you. I just find you irritating. I don't like to be bossed around."
"Yeah, I gathered. But does it really warrant this kind of disdain?"
"You really think I have the time, energy, patience, or inclination to loath you? I don't. My whole life has been people like you who think they can tell me what to do, boss me around, and force me into compliance. I hate that. I need my freedom."
"Oh, I get it. No one puts Baby in a corner?"
"Not even the same thing. You were just there, at my party, attempting to take over and crisis manage my crisis. I don't need a savior."
"Are you sure? Because the way that party was going, it was about to be a mess. You still got hurt in the process."
"Yeah, but the whole point is that it was my mess to clean up. Not yours. I don't even know you. But there you were, riding in on your white horse."
I shrugged. "Range Rover actually, but whatever."
She rolled her eyes. "My God you are such an arrogant, annoying—"
All that talk to Ariel about how I didn't want to be a cliché and follow in Penny’s and Lucas's footsteps, I’d meant it. Honestly, I had. I had been serious when I said there had to be an easier way to stay close to the princess and still not follow in their tracks. But, I was dicking with myself.
Dick: Did someone call me?
Me: Shut the fuck up.
Dick: Oh no. Not now. She's too close. Clearly, you don't know what the fuck you're doing. I'm going to take over now.
And then I kissed her.
12
Jessa…
The truth of it was the man could kiss.
Better than kiss. Seduce.
His tongue swept over mine, and it had me melting in a pool of hormones right there as need pulled low in my core. Maybe it wasn’t him at all. Maybe it had just been too long since I’d had an orgasm I hadn’t given myself. I had no idea what to do with myself.
I don’t know how it happened, but my arms reached up and slid into his hair as I dragged him closer. This was so bad on so many levels. He worked with me, despite having been matched with me, he still worked with me. I didn’t like things messy. Not at all. And he was the most stubborn man on the planet. But Jesus, he tasted amazing. Like fresh mint on a cool summer day.
The scent of sandalwood wrapped around me, cocooning me, keeping me locked in the prison I didn’t even want to escape. Gently, his hands slid down over my hips and pulled me closer.
I tried to speed up the kiss, to demand more from him, force him to kiss me deeper, but he didn’t. He just took his damn sweet time, tasting me, savoring me, as if I was a meal worth waiting for.
Just when I was on the verge of combusting or dying of frustration, he eased back, stumbled, and then swallowed hard. The look he gave me, said it all. I will tear your clothes off and fuck you on this treadmill.
What the hell had just happened? I shook my head in an attempt to clear it, but I swayed. To my mortal embarrassment, I swayed toward him.
“Princess…” his voice was throaty, low.
But that stupid nickname… that was the splash of cold water I needed. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear the brain fog, and opened my mouth to give him a string of consciousness that would scald his ears.
But the words were centered in my brain, and it was still offline. It was going to come back at any moment, but until it did, I needed to get the fuck away from him. “Don’t kiss me again.”
His smile was a slow steady promise. “Of course, princess. Not until you ask me to.”
“Never going to happen.”
“If you say so. But let’s be real clear. You’ll be asking me to kiss you again before long.”
“Please tell me you’ll hold your breath until I do.” And then I smoothed down a nonexistent wrinkle on my skirt and strode away from him. As I marched, I told myself that I did not wobble.
And even if there was a wobble, it was the heels. It had nothing to do with Roone Ainsley having a black belt in kissing.
Roone…
That was such a rookie mistake.
It was official, I was an idiot. I’d made such a fucking strategic mistake.
The whrr, whrr, whrr sound of the treadmill filled the gym of Evans PR as I punished my body. I was torturing it with one hell of a run because I couldn't punish it all the other ways I wanted to right now.
I admit, I shouldn't have kissed her. I knew better. That was dumb shit. And it was never going to happen again. I wasn't blurring those lines. I had already seen what could happen
.
What, two people end up together?
No, not that. Because Penny and Sebastian were different. They'd been friends as children. And Lucas and Bryna were also different because Lucas was already a prince. I was not. Not that it mattered, because I didn't even want to end up with Jessa.
She just made a constant electrical current that pulsed like a loose tooth a child couldn't help but wiggle. There was that good pain, the kind that hurt a little more every time but still sort of felt incredible because it reminded you that you were still alive. That's what Jessa was.
And kissing her was like that. I could still taste the ghost of her on my lips. Cherries. Was that her lip balm? I still remembered the little sighs that she made at the back of her throat when my tongue slid over hers and I shoved my hands into her hair and held her in place. Delving in, taking. Marking her.
She's not yours to mark.
I knew that, I did. She’d made me insane. I’d never intended to kiss her. And I was never going to kiss her again.
You sure about that?
I had to be sure about that. It was a mistake. One the king wouldn't thank me for. One the prince wouldn't thank me for either. I was pretty sure neither one of them wanted their perfect little sister being mauled by someone like me.
That's right, you're not worthy.
I shoved my father's voice out of my head. He never actually said those words to me, but it had been the underlying message. The way he never acknowledged me or saw me was enough to let me know I was not good enough. And while my mates loved me now, just as I was, the moment I touched their sister in any real way, I was pretty sure that would end.
No. I wasn't going to tell anyone. I was just going to bury it. Take that memory, shove it deep down, put it in a lockbox. That lockbox was getting a lot of use these days when it came to Jessa.
I had to forget it. Otherwise, it was going to eat me alive and I wasn't going to be able to rest until I could taste her again.