by Sheila Kell
When he triumphantly stood, a round of clapping from the men heated his blood. Turning around, he responded with his middle finger. He caught himself before he twisted back to the car. Shit. He’d have to remember to act more mature with his daughter around. His brothers were going to test him. He just knew it.
The drive to the farm, as they liked to call it, went uneventfully. The large magnolia trees lining the side of the road, hiding the property, were a glorious sight. The nostalgia of it choked him up as he remembered when he’d climbed them when he was younger to hide from Em and when he was older to spy on her.
The convoy of vehicles turned down the asphalt drive before stopping in front of the pale blue wood house with white columns and a full porch across the front. He’d always wondered why they decided on calling it a farm when it was nothing more than a Southern mansion on a whole lot of land.
Kelly Jones, the live-in housekeeper, met them at the door, beaming as each of the men wrapped the older woman in a bear hug before they filed into the house and drifted toward the tantalizing smells within. Since he could remember, she’d greeted them with homemade chocolate chip cookies.
Bringing up the rear, Jake groaned at the news that with the addition of the team, the men had to bunk together and in shifts. Since they’d used the house for HIS business before, most rooms had been outfitted with two full-size beds that were, thankfully, extended length. He’d hoped since AJ had married, he’d have their old room to himself. Now, it looked like he’d not only have to share again, but someone might use it during the day to rest. It was important to have them all here for Em’s security, but he’d have no privacy.
He smiled when he heard Em was able to use her old room where she would sleep alone. Or so everyone thought.
SITTING on the back porch with his brothers and friends, drinking beer and listening to stories was another part of putting Jake’s life back to rights. One of the things he’d missed over the years. There had been so many nights they’d sit outside, and the older brothers would give him and AJ beer when they weren’t old enough to legally drink. They’d always treated him as one of them, never as the straggler they’d picked up to care for until he was old enough to be on his own.
A greater family couldn’t be found. He thought back to what had happened and realized how stupid he had been at jumping the gun on things. These men would’ve listened. He almost snorted aloud. Once they took a month or so to calm down. And maybe took a bit of it out on his hide.
He shifted and twirled the neck of the bottle in his fingers. He would’ve screwed things up with Em and then they’d have eventually married because she was pregnant and there would have been resentment. Damn. He wasn’t sure things would’ve worked out right because he hadn’t realized how much he loved her at the time.
A round of laughter returned his mind back to the conversation. Last he’d heard they were talking about when Brad and Matt had fought on the fishing boat and tipped it in the middle of the pond. That wasn’t unusual so there must’ve been something unique about this time that made it so funny.
“Les, you should bring us on another trail ride.” AJ held his side from laughter, catching his breath. “I loved watching Brad and Dev try to ride.”
The group chuckled.
Brad grumbled instead. “I rode just fine. I couldn’t help it if my horse was fucked-up.”
“You were thrown.” Trent howled with laughter.
“Fuck you.”
Les removed his cowboy hat and wiped the sweat from his forehead with his forearm. “Well, you were, Brad,” he drawled. “Maybe I should’ve given you a pony.”
Brad’s face turned red. “Fuck you, too.”
Even Jake laughed with the men this time. He hadn’t been there, but he could imagine Brad getting tossed over the head of a horse, and he could picture him trying to ride his big ass on a pony.
Les had grown up in the area but had left and joined the DEA after his parents passed. Jake hadn’t heard how he had hooked up with Jesse to become a member of HIS. All he knew was when they came here, generally with the senator for the first game of football season. Les typically took charge since it was his old stomping grounds. He also led the activities, and the trail ride appeared to have been a hit. For some of them.
Devon cleared his throat. “You can go without me. I can do without riding one of those beasts.”
Another fit of laughter. Jake must’ve missed something good on their last trip. He couldn’t wait for more adventures with them again. To have fun. To make new memories.
The cowboy shook his head. “It wasn’t that bad. You did fine for a greenhorn.” Les flashed a fun smile. “I’ll just put you on a gentler horse next time. You don’t need a pony like dipshit there.” He pointed his thumb toward Brad.
Brad, of course, jumped up toward Les, who had a broader chest than the twin.
“Sit the fuck down, Brad. Christ, I’m getting tired of saying that.” Jesse shook his head.
Jake took a sip of beer. He had a serious subject to broach; he was apprehensive, but he couldn’t wait. His brothers were together, and it didn’t matter if Trent and Les were there. They seemed to be with the group most of the time.
Jesse had made him an offer when he’d returned, and he hoped it still stood. He had a child and a soon-to-be wife to provide for and no job. Sure Arthur would take him back, but that wasn’t what he wanted. At one time it had been all he’d wanted as a career; he’d wanted nothing more than to stop terrorism, but he’d changed. He wasn’t sure how, maybe it had been the assignment, maybe it was his life, maybe it was just him. Whatever the reason, he knew he wanted something broader, and he wanted to be part of this family again.
The brothers owned and ran HIS. They decided which assignments to accept, and one of the brothers led the mission while Ken, or in this case Les, led the field team that was made up of ten men. His brothers typically worked close with their client and the logistics, except Jesse being a sharpshooter joined the field team quite frequently.
When Jesse had asked him to join them, he’d never said specifically in what capacity. Jake wondered if they’d bring him in as a brother or put him on the field team. Either way was fine with him. No, what he really needed was their acceptance. Full acceptance. Sure, he wasn’t a blood brother, but he’d been their brother since he was ten and a half years old. Bringing him into the family business as an equal would show him they approved of him as one of them. It would show Em they approved of him.
At a lull in the conversation, he decided it was time to bite the bullet. “I have something to talk about with you.”
When each man gave Jake his attention, he cleared his throat before speaking. “You once offered me a position with HIS. Now that Em and I are to be married, I need a job. If it’s still open, I’d like it.”
He glanced around the group that remained stoic and gained nothing from their facial expressions. The smiling and laughter were gone. His gaze halted at Jesse, who seemed to be the decision maker.
His brother furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you doing this only for Em?”
“No. I want to be a part of this family again. I like what you’ve put together. I want to be part of HIS.” He swallowed hard. Had he misjudged the offer?
His heart pounded loudly waiting for a response.
Finally, Jesse reached out his hand. “Congratulations. Your name is on the business as a partner.”
He shook everyone’s hand, and they toasted his addition to the team before going back to stories of their adventures.
Relief coursed through him, and a massive weight lifted from his shoulders. He was thankful for this group of men in his life. He and Em were staying with the family. Surely she’d be happy with that.
Fifteen
DENIED THE ABILITY to make love to Em the night prior by his daughter’s need to sleep with her mother, he was at least comfo
rted by the fact that he finally had time alone with his family. The few people who’d remained at the house kept to themselves. In comfy cargo shorts and T-shirt, he lay on his side, propped on his elbow, on the floor beside Em and Amber. Both sat Indian style as the little one worked with the learning toy her mother had insisted she play. Since he had no idea what games a three-year-old was capable of comprehending, he went along, but later he’d find fun toys for his daughter. However, she did look adorable concentrating, but he also loved to hear her giggle.
Watching mother and daughter interact awakened something inside him that he hadn’t known existed. The protectiveness of being a father had already consumed him, but this feeling… he couldn’t comprehend it himself. Was this how a father felt when his family was complete? If so, he’d take that feeling any day.
And the two of them together, in almost matching khaki shorts and olive green tank tops, were more than he’d ever thought he’d have in his life. He expected that as the son of a murderer, the son of a man who beat his wife to death, no woman would marry him. Yet, he’d forgotten all that when he’d decided that he’d marry Em. He’d forgotten that she might reject him because of it. Okay, he’d remembered it a time or two, and his resolve had wavered, but his love for her had been so great, he’d moved forward.
He swallowed hard. He would not lose them. He’d made a call earlier to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist for a diagnosis. Em had offered to go to it with him, but he needed to do this himself. Knowing she stood by him would be enough. And, he wouldn’t wait until they returned to Baltimore. His family needed protection from him now. He needed a good night’s sleep without reliving the beatings and torture.
“If you want to go to Graceland, I’ll take you once this is over.”
Even though she hadn’t given her reason for turning down going on the trip, and he loved the family for not pressing her for one, he knew she did it for her safety, to keep from fighting with her brothers and to keep from leaving their daughter. He admired her for it because he knew that her stubbornness could get her in trouble if she allowed it.
She’d promised not to do anything to compromise her or their daughter’s safety and, by her easily staying home, she showed him she was serious. He just hoped she was as set on staying home when the big game came around. There would be a lot of excitement around that one event. He’d have to trust her.
Em shrugged and then reached over and helped Amber turn the wooden puzzle piece to fit correctly in the triangle shape on the board.
His daughter’s squeal and clapping at getting the shape in place brought genuine laughter rumbling through his chest. The little squirt might pitch some hellacious fits when she wanted to get her way, but damn if she wasn’t the cutest child ever when she was happy.
Emily handed the little girl another puzzle piece without giving him a glance. “I’ve seen it before.”
He smiled at her serious motherly look while giving a lesson. Damn if it wasn’t sexy. Pulse pounding, heat rode out in his veins, and he fought running his fingers through her glorious golden hair. Demonstrating he wanted her in public didn’t bother him, but he knew it would not sit well with her, and he had no idea what to do, or not do, in front of children. He’d have to watch Kate and Jesse and see how they behaved in front of Reagan. Granted Reagan was older. Thinking of Jesse reminded him that he and Em hadn’t spoken of where they’d live.
Hell, they hadn’t spoken of getting married again. He didn’t really know how to broach that subject, but he planned to do so today. Mrs. Kessler agreed to watch Amber later so he could have time alone with Em. The older woman didn’t know why, but he suspected she knew something by the sly smile on her face when he’d asked.
The advice from the men about how to propose made him want to laugh aloud again. The one thing that did hold true in their bullshit words was they loved their sister and wanted Jake to do right by her, and that meant asking her and not telling her. He had listened to the suggestion of spending time with her first to allow her to get comfortable with him again. But, dammit, he was tired of waiting.
“I decided to work with your brothers.”
“They’re your brothers too.”
It sounded so seedy when she said it that way. He didn’t want to add blood and not-blood brother into everything. That would get, well, annoying. “How about we just call it working with the guys?”
A light, feminine trickle of laughter floated to him as she turned to flash him a smile and sparkle in her eyes, and a jolt of lust sheared through his gut.
He waited until she finished helping Amber with a puzzle piece and then cleared his throat. Once she turned her head and he felt he had her undivided attention, he reached up and swiftly pulled her head down and stole a kiss before their daughter noticed the move.
Leaving Em wide-eyed, he released her and focused on the toddler who furrowed her brows, concentrating on matching a square to a square on the puzzle board. Wanting to help, he pointed to the correct spot.
Now glaring at him with a humorous glint, Em swatted his hand away.
He raised his brows and chuckled at her playfulness. “What? You helped.”
The more time he spent with his family, watching them smile, laugh and play, the larger his heart grew with love for them. Almost to bursting. How could it possibly survive a lifetime?
Not long ago, he’d had absolutely no hope for his life. In fact, he’d been ready to greet his mother. Now, he was full of hope and some of that hope was that his mother was looking down on her granddaughter with approval.
Bob decided to make his appearance and walked across the board, rubbing against a giggling Amber who proceeded to wrap her arms around the furry animal in an attempt to pick up the large cat that probably weighed close to his daughter’s weight. Okay, not close, but still too heavy for his child to lift. Even he could tell that.
Emily reached out. “Don’t pick him up. He’s too heavy. Besides, he likes you to pet him more.”
The little girl unwound her arms, and she slid one of her hands back and forth over the fluffball’s head. “Okay, Mommy.”
Jake and Em’s eyes snapped to each other in surprise, and then they smiled in unison. Their daughter’s speech was coming along. The letter k was a good start.
Before either could speak, Brad walked into the room. The serious look on his face wiped the smile from Jake’s. He immediately went into defensive mode. He’d convinced Em to pack a small bag for her and Amber just in case they had to run at a moment’s notice like before. She hadn’t wanted to do it because it brought it too close to home, but she’d seen the need. It was important Amber have some familiar things wherever they went. Those bags were in the front closet for whoever was there for them to grab. Of course, he knew he’d always be one of those with them.
They hurriedly stood.
“Megan’s in labor.”
Em gasped, and Jake thought he might have to check her into the emergency room with how quickly the blood drained from her face. “Oh God. It’s too early.”
JAKE couldn’t stop Em from rushing into the hospital, unconcerned if he or Brad were by her side. She raced to the family in the waiting room. “Is she okay?”
Kate grimaced. “We don’t know yet. We hope it’s false labor since she’s not due for almost three months.”
A wave of sadness and fear washed across Em’s face, and he reached his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him for comfort. She laid her head sideways on top of his shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment.
His throat tightened making it difficult to swallow around the self-reproach he held. Thinking of not being there for Em during childbirth sent a perverse sadness creeping into his body. He’d missed this with her and their daughter. She’d suffered through it all without him by her side, supporting her, comforting her, loving her. Anything could’ve gone wrong, and he hadn’t been there.
Jake leaned his head to the top of hers and inhaled the fruity scent she wore. He couldn’t keep beating himself up for his decision. It was done and over with, but he couldn’t stop the guilt that riddled his heart. It would probably never fully depart.
He thought of their daughter, safe at the house with a small team. “Did you have false labor with Amber?”
Jarring his head, she moved hers in some semblance of a nod, her hair rubbing softly against his cheek, reminding him of how the silky mass had slid through his hands. “Yes, but not this early.”
“Was it painful?” He gulped. “Having our daughter?”
She jerked her head away and looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. “No. It was a piece of cake. What the hell do you think?”
He chuckled at her sarcasm. “Okay, stupid question. Was it an easy delivery is what I meant?”
She sighed softly. “I was in labor for nearly twenty hours.”
His body jerked, and his eyes widened. “Shit!”
“And I cussed at you so loudly. I’m surprised you didn’t hear me where you were.” A twinkle sparkled in her eyes. “I’m sure Megan is doing the same to AJ right now, false labor or not.”
“Well, I’m sure he deserves it.” He playfully winked at her and was rewarded with a bright smile on lips he wanted to kiss again, taste again.
“Was anyone in the delivery room with you? You know, like AJ is?” He wanted to punch himself in the face for that question. Great way to remind her of fucking abandoning her.
Em snorted. “Believe it or not, AJ.”
“What?” Even though he was her brother, jealously swamped him. “He saw you naked?” Jake gestured over her body. “All of you?” He didn’t appreciate her laughter at his question. Did he really sound that foolish?
“I think he kept his eyes on mine or closed until she was born. Then they were only for Amber.” She laughed softly. “I thought he might faint for a while when he accidentally looked down and saw the afterbirth.”