Mary Janice Davidson, Michele Bardsley, Chris Tanglen - Lighthearted Lust (Ellora's Cave)

by james

  “Of course it’s fixable, honey. You just need to make up for it with something huge. Something spectacular.” Her mom yawned.

  “Then I’ll just end up with another huge, spectacular disaster! Maybe I should just wait and see if he calls.”

  “Nonsense. If you want this man, you have to pursue him relentlessly. I pursued your father without mercy. I refused to give up. He’s lucky to be alive.”

  She heard her father’s sleepy voice in the background. “Sometimes I question that.”

  “Oh, hush. Since you’re up, go find the detonator like you were supposed to earlier. Anyway, Melody, the key is to never give up. Never.”

  * * * * *

  Tim shook his head angrily. “No, nothing like that. And I swear I’ll hand you over to Bunny’s goons if you talk that way again.”

  “I’m sorry, man,” said Klacken. “You know that part of your brain that says ‘Hey, don’t make that comment about his daughter!’ and ‘Hey, don’t take your pants off in the library!’ Mine’s broken.”

  “Regardless, behave yourself.”

  “I will. So…what does Melody like?”

  “She likes horror stuff, just like me. That’s why I hired you.”

  Klacken wiped some hardened drool from the side of his mouth. “Well, jeez, I’ve got all kinds of horror props back at my place. Why don’t you make her some kind of romantic horrific gift?”

  Tim brightened at that suggestion, until he remembered his corpse. “She already did that for me. I’d have to top it.”

  “That’s easy! You could decorate her front yard with all sorts of monsters and mangled bodies and stuff! But the monsters would all have heart-shaped balloons and flowers and boxes of candy! It would be romantic and really sick!”

  Tim stared at him for a moment. Then his face broke into a wide grin. “YES!!!”

  * * * * *

  Melody sat up, excited by the idea that just occurred to her. “YES!!! I’ve got just the thing! Mom, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of ‘huge’ and ‘spectacular?’”

  Her mother was silent for a moment. “How about we jump straight to the second thing?”

  “An elephant!”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  Melody got off the couch and began pacing. “Elephants are huge! Elephants are spectacular! How much more perfect can you get?”

  There was another long moment of silence on her mother’s end. “Okay, perhaps we should go back to the first thing.”

  “Don’t you see? I’ll decorate an elephant with a banner that says ‘You’re the greatest, Tim!’ and ride it up to his apartment complex!” Melody realized that her hand was shaking with excitement.

  “And where exactly would you get an elephant? Especially at this time of night?”

  “I’ve got a savings account and people who owe me favors. How hard can it be to rent an elephant for a half hour or so? C’mon, Mom, how would you have reacted if Dad rode up to you on a decorated elephant?”

  “You probably would never have been brought into the world.”

  “I think it’s a great idea,” said Melody. “I’m going to arrange it right now! I’ll call you and let you know how it goes.”

  “That’s okay. I’m sure I’ll read about it.”

  Melody hung up, and then danced around her living room, absolutely thrilled with her new plan. An elephant. Why hadn’t she thought of that in the first place?

  * * * * *

  Alex snuggled more deeply into the pillow, which was much softer than he remembered. And the blankets were not only more comfortable, they smelled nicer. His mother must have used a different brand of laundry detergent.

  He rolled over on his side, his right hand landing on a heavily muscled arm. Every once in a while, he’d sleep in an awkward position, and he’d wake up with his arm so numb that it had absolutely no feeling, and to touch it was like touching the arm of somebody else. This theory was a long shot, but he didn’t remember last night very well, and if he’d gotten drunk and wound up at a gym with a personal trainer, there was a slim chance that he was in fact touching his own newly pumped numb arm.

  He opened his eyes and looked into the eyes of Karen.

  “Hi,” she said with a grin.

  Alex sat up. Unfortunately, there was a reading light attached to the headboard in the direct line of his head’s upward path, and he returned to a lying position with a blast of pain.

  “Are you okay?” Karen reached for his injured head.

  “Fine! I’m fine!” he insisted, scooting away from her and falling to the floor. Not only was it a hard floor, but it was also a hard floor containing three sets of barbells that weren’t designed for being landed upon. “Less fine now,” he corrected.

  Karen peered over the side of the bed at him. He instinctively covered his most masculine region and realized that he was fully clothed. As Karen got out of bed, he saw that she too was non-naked.

  “What happened?” he asked. “Were we so frantic that we did it without taking our clothes off?”

  “We didn’t do anything.” Karen reached down and pulled him to his feet. “How’s your back? Broken?”

  Alex swiveled at the hip a couple of times. “I don’t think so.”

  “Good. That would make it uncomfortable when I chain you to the bed and make you my sex slave.”

  “Ha ha,” said Alex without enthusiasm.

  “Wow, you realized that I was joking! That never happens!” Karen was now looking at him the way she had at the restaurant last night, and he felt a chill run down his unbroken spine.

  “So what exactly kind of nothing did we do last night?”

  “You babbled incoherently a lot. I didn’t think you should be alone, so I took your car keys and drove us here. You babbled incoherently some more and

  passed out on my exercise bicycle, so I carried you to bed.”

  “Oh. Well, I have to get going.”

  “It’s only two in the morning. Don’t you want to get some more sleep?”

  “I have to go see Melody.”

  “You know, she has someone else now,” said Karen. “Sometimes you just

  have to give up.”

  “I can’t. I love her.”

  “I know you do, but you should move on with your life. Find somebody

  better. Somebody stronger.”

  Alex shook his head. “There has to be a way. I’ll just follow her everywhere, watch her every move. Eventually there’ll be an opening, and I’ll pounce on it.”

  “So you’re going to stalk your way into bliss?”

  “If that’s what it takes.”

  “Can I help?”

  “Sure.”

  * * * * *

  The currents had shifted. Charles could feel it.

  He peered through the telescope again. His goddess had left the curtains open, which was unlike her. And her expression was downright maniacal as she

  paced around the living room like a woman possessed.

  The time of sacrifice was at hand.

  He would kill tonight.

  Charles walked down the hallway into his altar, which was filled with

  hundreds of drawings he had made of sweet Melody. He kissed several of them, and then picked up the holy tome from where it rested on the brass pedestal.

  Splat Goes the Weasel. Her purest work.

  He opened the book to page 180 and read aloud. “You must kill for me, and bring me his head, and I shall look into his ded eyes.” It was the passage meant for him. He knew this, because sweet Melody had left a clue for those who followed her path when she spelled the word “dead” without the letter “a.”

  And the character that spoke these words was named Chuck.

  Yes, oh yes, the time was right. He would kill for her. And when he brought her the crimson trophy, all would be good.

  * * * * *

  “Harry, it’s an emergency,” said Melody into the telephone. “You can dream about them tomorrow. Yes, I
know how crazed I sound. I don’t care.”

  Harry did odd jobs all over the city and was very well connected. He also was an aspiring writer, and after meeting Melody at a book signing he’d given her a copy of his manuscript to find out what she thought. She thought it was total garbage, but she’d made some nice comments about his spelling and he’d been utterly grateful. If anyone could get her an elephant on such short notice, he could.

  * * * * *

  After staking out The Ghoul’s home for a while making sure that there were no thugs on the premises, Tim and Klacken carried various horror props from the garage into the small moving van. It wasn’t easy to get a moving van in the middle of the night, but a generous bribe worked. It also worked with the flower delivery service, which was supposed to be on its way.

  The quality and quantity of stuff in Klacken’s garage was incredible. There were creative tombstones, life-size zombies, a guillotine, an electric chair…more great stuff than Tim had ever seen in one place. Melody would have to forgive him once she saw all this stuff on her front lawn!

  * * * * *

  Alex sat in his car, waiting. Karen played with her hair and wondered yet again why she was sitting here, parked across the street from Melody’s house, watching Alex stare at her front door.

  “Isn’t this kind of illegal?” she asked.

  “Shhhh.”

  “She’s probably in bed asleep. Are you just going to sit here and watch all night?”

  “Possibly.”

  “Why don’t you just go knock on her door?”

  “You don’t understand anything, do you?”

  “Actually, I’m a psychiatrist. What you’re exhibiting now is a type of behavior that we like to call ‘going utterly loony.’”

  “She’ll be mine again,” Alex vowed. “No matter what.”

  * * * * *

  Charles sharpened the blade of his butcher knife. He wasn’t quite sure it was big enough to cut off somebody’s head, but he’d work through that problem when it came up. It wasn’t like he’d be graded on tidiness.

  Once he was satisfied with his chosen instrument, he peeked through his front window again and frowned. There was a car parked in front of his house. Could it be one of sweet Melody’s oppressors, here to prevent Charles from granting her eternal happiness?

  He watched for a few minutes. The people in the car didn’t seem to be here for him; they seemed to be watching the house of his goddess. But why? She wasn’t even home…she’d left fifteen minutes ago. Charles didn’t know where she’d gone, but he was certain that if he did know she’d be even more attractive to him, for her cause was certainly righteous.

  Then the one in the driver’s seat turned his head, allowing Charles to make out his features. It was the one who’d lived with sweet Melody until this past week.

  It was a sign.

  His sacrifice had come to him.

  * * * * *

  Tim’s arms were aching, but they’d finally packed the moving van just as the flower delivery truck pulled up alongside them. He cackled with joy as he took out his wallet—this was costing him a fortune, but it was going to be worth every penny.

  “Can we take a break?” asked Klacken, out of breath.

  “Of course not!” Couldn’t the old fool see that time was short? “We have an appointment with romance!”

  * * * * *

  Melody walked slowly through the quiet, shadowy parking garage, her footsteps echoing through the night.

  “Hello?” she asked, tentatively.

  About thirty feet away, a sinister-looking man stepped out from behind a truck. Harry. He stood there, regarding her.

  “You got the elephant?” she asked.

  “In due time,” said Harry. “You got the money?”

  “My checkbook’s in my purse.”

  Harry’s face fell. “What fun is it to meet you in a menacing parking garage if you’re gonna pay by check? You could at least have put the check in a briefcase. You’re such a mood-breaker.”

  * * * * *

  “Is this gonna be great or what?” asked Tim, as they drove the moving van toward Melody’s house.

  “You’re drooling on the steering wheel,” Klacken pointed out.

  “Romantic, romantic, romantic! I rule!”

  * * * * *

  Karen jumped with a start as she heard a rapping on the window. A really creepy guy with an unshaven face, uncombed hair, and unwashed clothes stood there. He smiled, revealing unbrushed teeth.

  “You are watching her,” he said. Karen was thankful that her window was only open about an inch. The breath involved was probably semi-fatal.

  Karen locked the door. “I’m sorry, we shouldn’t be parked in front of your house. We’ll move.” “I watch her, too.” “That’s very nice. I wish you continued success.” She violently elbowed Alex in the side. “Start the engine, let’s go!”

  Alex turned the key in the ignition. The car made a faint groaning noise, followed by a slightly louder grinding sound. Neither indicated that the engine was about to start.

  “What the hell?” Alex asked. “I just had a tune-up!”

  “You must come with me,” intoned the man. “You must come into my home,

  and I will show you wonderful sights.” Karen put on her most frantic expression. “Alex? Please? Car? Motion?” “I’m trying!” Alex insisted. “I don’t know what’s going on! I haven’t had any

  problems with this car in three years!” “It is your destiny,” said the man. “Please, come with me into my home.” “No, thanks,” Karen told him. “I’ve made it a personal guideline not to visit

  with people who have the mark of evil in their eyes. I’m sure you’ll understand.” “But you must.” “No, really.” The man smiled, and then lifted his hand, revealing a large butcher knife. He

  ran his finger along the edge of the blade. “Perhaps I can change your mind.” “Are these windows knife-proof?” Karen asked Alex. Alex turned the key again, but the car still refused to start. He whimpered. The man raised the knife above his head. “The time is now.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  It had been a long, miserable night for Walter, but he’d always been an optimist, and he knew things would turn out okay. He’d get Diane some expensive medical attention and her memory would be just fine.

  The doctor entered the waiting room. Both Walter and Sylvia leaned forward, expectantly. “Any news?”

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Harcourt, but I’m afraid we’ve lost her.”

  His world instantly came crashing down. “She’s…she’s dead?”

  The doctor blinked, surprised, and then gasped with realization. “Whoops, I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I meant we literally lost her. The nurse gave her a shot, she was there; I went in to check on her, she was gone. Her hospital gown was on the bed, and her street clothes are missing.”

  “You mean she just got up and left?” Walter couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “This is a hospital, for God’s sake! How does a patient just waltz out of here without being seen?”

  “It has the rest of us baffled, too. A lot of times in movies they hide in the laundry cart, but the laundry cart hasn’t gone by recently so I’m at a loss. I’m not even supposed to be here tonight. Don’t worry, we’re searching the building, and as soon as you finish chewing me out I’m going to call the police.”

  * * * * *

  Melody sat in the passenger seat, smoking a cigarette, while Harry drove the large truck. The elephant in the back was sensational. She’d written her message to Tim on her best set of bed sheets to drape over the animal. His expression was going to be a sight to behold.

  “Where did you get this elephant again?” she asked.

  “I told you, I’m not telling you,” said Harry. “And I’m serious, once we get there you have ten minutes with the elephant, and not a second more.”

  “That’s all I need.”

  * * * * *

  Charles lunged as if he were going to smash th
e butcher knife through the window, but then turned toward Melody’s house. He wanted to intimidate his victims, and figured that if the knife struck the window with a feeble little plink sound they wouldn’t take him seriously.

  “If you won’t join me, I will take the life of she who we both watch.” He started across the street. He had no intention of hurting his goddess, of course, but it would probably get them out of the car.

  * * * * *

  “He’s going to kill Melody!” Alex shouted.

  “Do you have a cell phone?” asked Karen. “We’ve got to call the police!”

  “No, I don’t have one, and the police wouldn’t get here in time anyway! This is great!”

  Karen looked at him, aghast. “Are you kidding me?”

  “Not at all! Melody has a knife-wielding maniac heading toward her house!

  If I can stop him, she’ll be forever grateful!” Alex threw open his door.

  “You’ll get yourself killed!”

  Alex got out of the car. “All right, you!” he shouted at the man. “Stop right there! Nobody is going to murder Melody Talaway while I’m here to protect her!”

  The man turned, raised the knife again, and rushed at Alex. Alex said the word “shit” very loudly and tried to get back in the car, but there wasn’t time. Instead he rushed around to the trunk, while the man scraped the knife against the front hood.

  “This is your destiny. Though you will give your life, you give it to bring Melody the purest joy she will ever know.”

  “Go away! Back, psycho, back!”

  The man feinted to the right, and Alex moved to the left, even though an entire car separated him from harm. Then Alex tripped and fell to the ground.

  He never tripped. Tripping just wasn’t something that happened to him, not since he’d gained control of his body after puberty. There wasn’t even anything for him to trip on, for crying out loud! And yet he found himself lying on the pavement, face scraped up, listening to footsteps running toward him.

  * * * * *

  Harry pulled the truck into the parking lot outside of Tim’s apartment building. As he stopped the engine, Melody wrung her hands together in uncontrollable glee. “I’ll go wake him up, you get the elephant ready.” She got out of the truck and rushed toward Tim’s apartment.