Hearts of Blue

by L.H. Cosway

  Karla: I’m just glad you didn’t say boys.

  Lee: Hey, if I wanted the boys I could get the boys.

  I laughed.

  Karla: Shut up.

  Lee: Don’t be jealous. If you wanted the girls, I bet you could get the girls.

  Karla: I don’t want the girls.

  Lee: Too bad. There’s got to be some serious amount of licence lickers in your line of work.

  Karla: That’s a stereotype.

  Lee: What about the sour-faced old bird who was at the warehouse the other week? Now there’s a high wall built to hold back water if I ever saw one.

  Oh, my God, was he talking about DI Jennings? It took me a second to get what he was saying and then I burst out laughing, both at his wording and how he described her. She was sour-faced, always looking like she’d just tasted something rotten.

  Karla: She’s my superior, and I have no clue about her sexual orientation. I’ve got to go to work now. Talk later.

  Lee: Later, Snap.

  The next day I got a message with a picture attached. It showed Lee making a kissy duck face into the camera, the gym in the background. I chuckled when I saw it before reading the text below.

  Lee: Workin on my selfie skills. What ya think?

  Karla: I think it’s disturbing.

  Lee: Whaaa? Where am I going wrong?

  Karla: Try to look less like an aquatic bird.

  Lee: Okay, how’s this?

  He’d attached another picture, this time with him grin/smirking, his T-shirt plastered to him with sweat. God, he looked good, and had obviously been working out. Without thinking, I saved the picture to my phone, trying not to delve too deeply into why.

  Karla: Better.

  Lee: Your turn :-D

  Karla: Fat chance.

  Lee: Oh, go on. I miss your face.

  I paused, my finger on the screen as his words sunk in. My tummy fizzled with a bubbly sensation. In a way, I’d have liked to send him a picture in return, but it was dodgy territory. Texting him at all was dodgy territory, but I needed it. It was the least form of communication we could have, and I wasn’t ready to give it up yet. Unable to deal with his sweet statement, I tried to change the subject.

  Karla: Why are you texting me at the gym? Get back to working out, lazy bones.

  Lee: Just finished sparring with a few of the boys. Not the same as doing it with you, of course ;-)

  I ignored the innuendo, even though it made me flush slightly.

  Karla: You know, I never asked. Do you box professionally?

  Lee: Nah, just to keep fit. I’m a lover not a fighter.

  Karla: Haha. Do you do any other sports?

  I asked because I wanted him to tell me about the parkour. Having seen him in action, I could tell he’d clearly spent a lot of time honing his technique, but he never mentioned it in conversation. It was almost like he didn’t want people to know how good he was.

  Lee: This and that. Gotta go shower now. Talk later.

  Huh. I couldn’t tell if he was being evasive or if he really just had to shower. Either way, I obviously wasn’t going to get what I wanted.

  Karla: Okay. Talk later.

  ***

  “Me, Ingrid, and Gina are going out tonight,” said Reya as we left the gym on a Saturday afternoon. “You should come. Let your hair down.”

  Ingrid and Gina were her friends from the Royal Academy of Music, where Reya was doing her degree. I mostly tended to spend time with her away from her usual social circle, because they were all a little too young for me. Reya was different. We connected on a level that transcended age, but her friends? They spent a lot of time talking about celebrities or the latest Facebook scandal, and I didn’t have the patience for that shite.

  “I don’t know. I was planning on a marathon of Heroes with Alexis.”

  “You can do that anytime! And Alexis should come, too. It’ll be fun.”

  I knew for a fact that my best friend wouldn’t want to go out. One, because she was still mourning after King, and two, because she was pregnant and couldn’t drink. Every time I tried to have a glass of wine around her, she’d put on this sad puppy face, making me feel guilty that she couldn’t enjoy one, too.

  “Okay, let me think about it,” I said, and Reya threw her arm around my shoulders, smiling widely. She knew she’d won.

  Later that evening, I changed into a black bodycon dress and heels. I left my hair down with a slight curl, and I’d gone a little heavier on the makeup than usual. If I knew Reya and her friends, I was betting I’d get dragged to either a hipster music bar or a rock club, and I wanted to look the part.

  We were having some crazy weather of late, heavy rain and random thunderstorms, which meant the electricity kept cutting out. I’d been halfway through styling my hair when the flat went dark and I heard Alexis swear loudly from her bedroom.

  “Bloody hell! Now I’m going to miss the end of Coronation Street,” she moaned, and I tried not to laugh.

  “You can catch the repeat when they show the Omnibus,” I called to her.

  “This was the Omnibus!” she shouted back. “Now I’ll never know what happens.”

  A second later, the lights came back on and Alexis let out a hoot of triumph. I shook my head and finished doing my hair. Once I was ready, I called a cab so I could go meet Reya & Co. I was sitting in the back seat when my phone lit up with a message.

  Lee: Could you see the lightning at your place?

  Karla: No, I missed it :-(

  Lee: It was HUGE.

  I chuckled.

  Karla: Oh, really? Tell me more.

  Lee: Dirty girl.

  Karla: Can’t talk now. I’m on my way out.

  Lee: Anywhere fancy?

  Karla: Just meeting a friend at a club called The Evil Beetle. Don’t ask.

  Lee: I know the place. Didn’t take you for a Goth.

  Karla: It wasn’t my choice. My friend’s a music student. Pretentious muso clubs come with the territory.

  Lee: Ah, got ya. Have a fun night. Xxx.

  Karla: You too :-)

  I stared at his last message, frowning. After two weeks of correspondence, this was the first time he’d sent me kisses. They made my throat feel weird and scratchy, and the fact of the matter was, I missed him. I wanted to see him in person, because although I enjoyed talking to him through texts, it was no substitute for how he made me feel in person. How his eyes followed my every movement and how his closeness gave me tingles.

  Thankfully, I didn’t have too much time to ponder this further, as the taxi stopped outside the club. I paid the driver, got out, and walked down the line, searching for Reya. I found her about midway down, wearing a purple hippy dress under a long navy coat. Her friend Ingrid was blonde and wore a lot of eye-liner, while her other friend, Gina, had a pixie haircut and wore a number of studded belts around the waist of her skinny jeans. I felt slightly overdressed, but I wasn’t too bothered about it.

  The four of us made small talk until we reached the door and were immediately let through by the bouncer. Heavy rock music blared as a DJ with blue dreads spun the decks. I went straight to the bar, ordering in a round of drinks for everyone. I wasn’t exactly flash with the cash, but since I was with three starving students, I decided to be generous.

  Not surprisingly, Gina and Ingrid nodded eagerly when I asked them if they wanted a drink. We found a table in a dark corner where it was just about impossible to carry out a conversation, but we gave it a go anyway. At this rate, I was going to have tinnitus by morning.

  An hour or so went by, during which I’d had three more drinks. We were currently on the dance floor, dancing to Guns n Roses’ “Night Train.” Reya grabbed my hands and swayed with me to the music, while her friends screamed the lyrics, knowing every word. It was as my eyes travelled over the sea of heads surrounding me that I thought I recognised a familiar one. The guy disappeared, and I shook it off.

  Lee wouldn’t come here, would he?

  Th
ere was a brief second of quiet between one song and the next when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.

  Lee: You’re a good dancer.

  I gasped as I read it, swiftly typing a response.

  Karla: Where are you?

  My heart pounded, and my skin grew clammy with nerves as I contemplated the idea that he was here. There was something about the fact that we’d been communicating but hadn’t actually seen each other for weeks that heightened my anticipation. I felt surrounded, too hot, and my fingers shook as I waited for him to reply. The screen of my phone remained dark, and I felt Reya nudge me. Glancing up, I saw her frowning as she sent me a look that asked, What’s wrong?

  Shaking my head to let her know I was fine, I slid my phone back in my pocket and tried to focus on dancing again. It was no use, though, and I found myself frantically scanning the club. After a minute I spotted him over by the bar. He was with some other guy, knocking back shots. The guy turned, and I recognised Trevor, the second-youngest Cross brother. His pretty blue eyes flashed in the darkness as he smiled at something Lee said, showing off a pair of handsome dimples.

  I guessed Trevor to be about two years younger than Lee, which put him at around twenty-three. He had a very laid-back, sort of skater-boy style, and every girl who passed him by gave him a second glance. Lee had the same good looks, but despite the grin that was perennially plastered across his face, there was something harder about him, something a little bit more intimidating and unapproachable.

  Almost as though he sensed me watching him, his eyes flashed to mine and held me captive. I shot him a look of irritation and pulled out my phone.

  Karla: I hope you didn’t come here for me.

  From across the club, I saw him looking down at his screen, reading my text before his fingers began tapping. A second later he glanced in my direction and grinned. My phone lit up in my hand.

  Lee: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

  Ugh, he was such a smart-arse. My attention was drawn away from my phone when Reya nudged me again. Cupping her hands around her mouth, she shouted in my ear, “I just saw the guy from our gym. Did you invite him here?”

  I shook my head in response.

  “Who’s that with him?”

  “His brother,” I answered, adopting her hands-around-the-mouth approach. I wasn’t sure why people did that when trying to be heard over music, because it didn’t seem to make much of a difference.

  We continued dancing, but now I was noticing Reya’s eyes return to Trevor, clearly checking him out. I wasn’t surprised. He was too pretty not to look at. Lee’s back was turned from the bar, his elbows resting along the counter as he drank a bottle of beer. My hips swayed to the music and he took a swig, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

  The music changed from rock to a more techno song. There was something about the rhythmic beat, combined with Lee’s attention, that got my blood pumping. Crazy lust built within me, and I had to turn away before I did something stupid. My pores tingled with barely restrained energy, and I was suddenly aware of how tight my dress was, how it moulded itself to my form.

  Losing myself in the music, I danced. Strobe lights flashed, stark white, red, and blue, causing my vision to blur and the movement of the people around me to seem choppy and staccato. Reya and the girls had caught the attention of a group of guys, but I stayed just outside their circle, trying my hardest to forget Lee’s presence.

  He shouldn’t have been there.

  This was going to end in disaster.

  We lived in two different worlds.

  And yet....

  No. This couldn’t happen. We weren’t supposed to see each other. It was supposed to be only texts, nothing as close as this. The fact that I wasn’t in uniform added an extra tension. I was well aware that I wore my profession like a shield with him, something to keep his advances at bay. But the fact of the matter was, it scared me how much I wanted him, how needy he made me feel. With just one touch, he could lure me into jeopardising years of hard work and dedication.

  I heard a shout above the music right before it cut off and the club went dark. My heart pounded. The weather must have been picking up again, resulting in another power outage. I wondered if there was a generator and how long it’d take to kick in. Now that I was unable to see a thing, the voices that surrounded me were almost louder than the music had been. People were either complaining about the blackout or yelling like maniacs, excited by the fact that we’d been plunged into darkness.

  Within seconds everybody had their phones out, using the dim light from the screens to find their way. I looked around for Reya, but it was still too dark to see. All of a sudden my skin prickled with awareness, like my body sensed him. Strong arms slid around my middle and pulled me into an even stronger body. He didn’t have to say a word for me to know it was him, because I’d memorised his touch, his smell. His mouth went to my exposed neck, licking just below my earlobe.

  “Snap,” Lee whispered.

  I shivered at the sound of his voice. There was something about the darkness, about the fact that no one could see us that made me feel reckless. I turned in his hold, threw my arms around his neck, and rose up on my toes. Tentatively, I drew his lower lip into my mouth and he pulled me close, capturing my lips with his fiercely. His hands travelled from my waist, all the way up my spine, before sinking into my hair. When his tongue dipped inside and fluttered along mine, I moaned, the sound of it reverberating up my throat.

  Lee pulled my body so tightly to his that I could feel the sharp outline of his erection in his jeans. It nudged into my stomach, filling me with a deep, all-consuming lust.

  Right in that moment, I wanted him, and I didn’t want to think about the repercussions. There, in the dark of the blacked-out nightclub, we waged a war with our tongues and lips. It was almost like I was fighting him with how hard I kissed him. He drew away, breathless, and pressed his mouth to my forehead as he laced his fingers with mine.

  “Come with me,” he purred, tugging on my hand.

  Helpless to do anything else, I followed.

  I wasn’t sure where Lee was taking me, but before long we’d left the main area of the club and entered someplace quieter. Lee had his phone out, holding it up with the screen illuminated to try to light the way. I had a vague idea of being in a hallway before Lee pulled a door open, swiftly dragging me inside. The door closed with a quiet snick, and then he was on me, backing me into a wall as his hands sank into my hair again, his crotch pushing against me with need.

  “I want you.”

  My breath caught at the roughness in his voice.

  His fingers trailed down my body and found the hem of my dress, frantically pushing it up so he could gain more access. Effortlessly, he lifted and held me, my legs wrapping around his waist. His mouth was everywhere, tasting every inch of me, from my chin to my jawline to my neck.

  “You smell amazing,” he growled as his hands gripped my thigh muscles. “And fuck, you’re fit.”

  “Touch me,” I begged him, my underwear exposed now that my dress had been pulled up around my hips. All that separated us was two layers of fabric, his hard cock in his jeans creating a delicious source of friction. I fumbled for his belt as he held me, attacking my lips with the most mind-melting kiss I’d ever experienced.

  “What do you want, beautiful?” Lee asked in a husky whisper as I pulled his belt buckle free, unsnapped his jeans, and slid my hand inside. His entire body shuddered when my palm met his cock, and I savoured the hot, silky feel of it against my skin. I moved slowly up and down, pleasantly surprised by his size.

  “I want this,” I said, nipping at his lips with my teeth and squeezing him in my palm.

  “You’re killing me,” he growled into my mouth, turning us and carrying me across the space. A second later my bottom hit a hard surface, and Lee’s hand slipped beneath my underwear. He hissed out a breath when his fingers found me wet and I trembled against him. No one had ever touched me like Le
e touched me, like he wanted to consume me. The combination of skill, passion, and need drove me crazy, and when he plunged two fingers inside, I almost lost my mind.

  My mouth fell to his shoulder, biting down hard to keep from making too much noise. This was a packed-out nightclub, and though I had no clue what room we were in, I knew somebody could come in at any moment.

  “That’s it, baby, hurt me if you need to,” Lee breathed, his voice gruff, moving his fingers in and out as I grasped his cock. His tongue plunged inside my mouth, and I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. It could have been a minute. It could have been an hour. All I knew was that I didn’t want this to end, didn’t want him to ever stop kissing me.

  Finding my clit with his thumb, he began rubbing slow circles, and I felt my abdomen draw tight. The need to come made my vision blur with lights and stars that weren’t there.

  “God, I missed you,” Lee whispered. “I missed your voice.”

  There was something about how he said it, like he truly meant it, that made my heart clench. I couldn’t deny it any longer — I had feelings for him, and those feelings both terrified and excited me.

  “Please,” I begged, my voice a breathy whisper. I needed him right then, needed him to fill every inch of me and own me like his eyes always promised he would.

  Lee swore profusely as his fingers left me to pull my underwear off. He bent down to run his mouth along my inner thigh, the bit of scruff on his jaw creating a pleasurable scrape. Rising, he fumbled in his pocket, pulling out a condom as I shoved down his jeans, unable to wait any longer.

  His tongue slid along the shell of my ear when he leaned in close, his voice low and gravelly. “Do you want it hard, Constable? Or slow?”

  His emphasis on the words made me melt, my entire my body trembling at his question. For a second, I was too embarrassed to answer.

  “Please,” I moaned again, my hands slipping under his shirt to feel his hard abs beneath. They trailed down his stomach, and I savoured the way his muscles jumped at my touch.

  “Tell me,” he insisted, teeth nipping at my earlobe. Tingles skittered from the skin below my ear and all down my spine.