by Ali Olson
* * *
JACK DROVE AWAY, but not toward his family’s ranch. Instead, he turned his truck toward open country, driving until he was surrounded by little more than grass and hills.
After a long while, he pulled over and got out of the truck, ignoring the brisk air. He opened the tailgate and sat on it, staring into the darkness that surrounded him.
Amy hadn’t cheated on him, obviously, but he couldn’t help but feel betrayed. The idea of their first night together being about more than just the two of them hurt. It explained her reaction after, and he could understand what that felt like—if there’d been some way to soothe the pain after she’d disappeared from his life, he was sure he would have jumped at the chance.
He also felt angry at the man that had done all this to Amy. He could feel the embarrassment almost emanating off her as she told her story, though he’d been too wrapped up in his own thoughts to think much about it in the moment. Now, he realized how she must have felt coming back to Texas, her heart and soul battered and broken from first the robbery and then the betrayal from someone she trusted.
Knowing that the baby might not be his, but instead be a product of an encounter with that manipulative liar was a painful blow.
But dammit, that guy would never be the child’s parent. Even if he was the biological father, Jack knew Amy well enough to be sure she wouldn’t ask the man for a dime. And she was strong enough to raise this kid herself.
But she shouldn’t need to. Jack gripped his truck’s tailgate and shook his head. Even if the child wasn’t his, did it change his feelings for Amy?
That answer was obvious enough. He’d always loved her, had never stopped loving her, and he already loved the child that was half her, even if the other half might not be him. They could still be the family he’d always wanted.
And his last but very real problem was finally clear to him: Would he ever be enough for her, or would he one day come home to find she’d disappeared again, taking her child with her and leaving him alone?
That thought scared him more than anything else.
Jack sighed and lay back into his truck bed and stared at the stars for a long while, ignoring how uncomfortable the cold metal was on his back, trying to figure out what to do next. He could play it safe and break things off with her before it went any further and save himself more pain when it all fell apart somewhere down the road.
But Jack thought of the ring and the baby, and he knew there was no safe place for him to hide his heart. It was too late for that. Amy and her child already had it, and stopping things now just meant he would miss out on all the possible wonderful moments he might have. The truth was, he wanted that family. So badly that he couldn’t imagine running from this opportunity, as complicated as it might be.
Finally, Jack sat up and rubbed his back. There was no question about what he would do, of course. And he needed to let her know before he left for Wyoming the next morning.
Jack got back in his truck and started driving back the way he’d come. When he arrived at Amy’s house everything was dark except the living room, which was lit by a single lamp. He could see Amy sitting in the window seat, the light spilling around her, as if she was waiting for him. He rushed out of the truck, and she had just stepped out the front door when he pulled her into his arms, kissing her with all his might.
She kissed back, and they held each other for a long, long time.
* * *
AMY SAT ON her bed in the hotel room she and Ma were sharing in San Diego, not sure what to do with herself. Jack was already working with Sam in Wyoming, so she didn’t want to bother him, as much as she’d like to call and get assurance once again that he was still a part of her life despite everything with Armand. She had an article to write that she’d been putting off for two weeks, but she doubted she could do much of anything, as distracted as she was. Sitting and doing nothing was only making her feel stir-crazy.
Amy stood up and began pacing. She was having a baby. It was still impossible to wrap her mind around it. After all, she’d spent the past decade expecting to never be pregnant. It was just a fact of her life. And now that was turned upside down and here she was with a little one on the way.
Amy wished she felt euphoric about it, like Jack had when he first found out. But instead she felt nervous. And scared.
Now that she had finally accepted the truth of the matter, it left her with so many questions. How would she be able to continue the life she’d created for herself and raise a child? What would the next eighteen years look like? Would she and Jack be able to make all this work?
She didn’t have answers to anything, and felt lost. At sea without a life raft. Jack’s steadiness and confidence were the only things keeping her afloat, and she had no idea how much longer that might last.
Ma came out of the bathroom shaking her head. “I tell you, dear, this ain’t half-bad. The lounge, the airport and now this hotel. Maybe I should convince Howie to see a bit of the world with me.”
Amy nodded, though she hardly heard the older woman. After a few moments, Ma came up to her and put a hand on each of Amy’s cheeks, staring into her daughter’s eyes. “I’ll be here for you whatever happens with Maryanne, Amy. Don’t you worry.”
Amy felt tears welling in her eyes, and she almost spilled the truth out to her kind adopted mother, but she stopped herself. Ma’s entire life had been focused around her children, and Amy just couldn’t confess her fears and risk being told to give up everything important in her life for this baby. So she kept silent.
Amy would tell her soon, possibly even before they returned to Texas, but first she needed to sort out her thoughts on her own. Ma patted her cheek gently and smiled encouragingly.
Amy hadn’t even been thinking about the reason for their trip to California, and only now considered what it might be like to meet her half sister the next day. As if Amy’s phone knew she was thinking of Maryanne, it pinged with a new text message from her:
My son just reminded me he has a birthday party tomorrow at a bowling alley.
Amy’s heart sank. They were supposed to meet tomorrow. Was her sister canceling on her again? It didn’t seem like she really wanted to see Amy after all. Then the next message showed up:
Are you up for some bowling? I can drop Devin off with his friends and we can get our own lane as far from the party as possible. Your adopted mother is welcome to join, of course.
Amy felt a sense of relief. So Maryanne wasn’t begging off from their meet-up. Amy looked over at Ma, who was carefully unpacking her bag into the chest of drawers. “You interested in going bowling with Maryanne?”
She wasn’t sure what she expected Ma’s reaction to be, but she certainly didn’t expect her to clap her hands with excitement like a child. “I haven’t bowled in years!” she exclaimed.
That decided it, and Amy texted Maryanne back. Soon everything was planned and Amy set her phone down. Before she could go back to wondering what to do with herself, Ma was picking up their hotel key card and her purse. “Get up off your behind, dear. We’re going to see the ocean.”
Amy gave her mother a confused look. “Don’t you think it’s a bit cold out to go to the beach?” she asked.
Ma shook her head. “I haven’t seen the Pacific Ocean in more’n twenty years, and I intend to go right now so we can be there when the sun sets. Grab a sweater so you won’t be chilled.”
Amy hopped up immediately, threw on her jacket and followed her mother out the door. In no time at all, they were standing on a beach, sitting with their toes in the cold sand despite the temperature, watching the waves crash against the shore.
“I love Texas with all my heart and soul,” Ma said quietly, almost as if she was speaking to herself, “but there’s something about watching the sun set over the ocean that lifts my spirit. I shouldn’t have waited so long to see it again.”
Amy said nothing, just watched the rolling waves as the sun touched the horizon. Brock had grown up here, and this place must hold special memories for Ma and her sister, Jeannie, Brock’s mother. It certainly was beautiful, and she loved this time with Ma, but her mind kept drifting back to Jack in Wyoming. If everything worked out there, he would be incredibly busy for months, years even, as he pushed to make it to the top. Even if he wanted to be a part of the baby’s life, how could that work?
Even these few hours apart were hard—she couldn’t imagine what it would be like when she was in Chiang Mai and he was on the circuit. Even if she loved him and he loved her, she would be very, very alone. Could they make it work without constantly tearing themselves apart?
Amy stared at the water as the sun went down, wishing she had answers to everything. Ma patted her hand, catching Amy’s attention. The older woman smiled kindly at her. “Don’t you worry, dear. You two will figure it out.”
It took Amy a moment to realize what Ma meant. “How did you know what I was thinking?” Amy asked.
“Are you ever not thinking about Jack Stuart these days?” her mother responded.
Amy didn’t know what to say to that. “Love is difficult,” Ma continued. “You will find what’s right for you.”
Amy wanted those words to reassure her, but she couldn’t help but be skeptical. Sometimes things just didn’t work out. She knew that well enough.
And wishes couldn’t change facts here. She would try to have a lasting relationship with Jack, and they might try to raise a child together, but would it work? Or would the facts be so strongly against them that wishes wouldn’t matter?
The sun dropped below the horizon with a last tiny flash of light and the two women sat in the sand for another moment before standing. “Dinner and then bed,” Ma announced as they brushed the sand off their feet. “Tomorrow’s a big day.”
Amy’s heart jumped. Tomorrow she would spend some quality time with her half sister. She would learn about where she came from, at least a little bit. It was time to put Jack and the baby aside for the time being, as hard as that seemed to be, and focus her attention on the here and now.
Chapter Ten
Jack woke early, his eyes bleary from getting so little sleep. With everything on his mind, from his upcoming roping session at Sam’s to Amy and the pregnancy, it was hard to quiet his brain enough to rest.
Still, he was satisfied that he’d come up with the best plan for his new family. It would hurt to give up on his dream for the Stuart ranch once and for all, but he’d finally had to admit to himself that he couldn’t put every cent into the place, which was what it needed to make it work. No, there was something more important now. The child in his arms would be the only thing that mattered.
He also needed to decide how to propose to Amy. He’d been planning to wait until her trip to Chiang Mai, but with the pregnancy, all that had changed. Putting it off until after Brock and Cassie’s wedding seemed silly now.
Jack pulled himself out of bed and splashed some water on his face. He needed to be at his best if he was going to turn these few days with Sam into a lucrative career move, and that was more important now than it had ever been.
A couple of hours later, Jack wiped the sweat from his face. Even though the air was cool, he was burning up. Almost the moment he’d gotten onto Sam’s property he’d been put to work running drills, showing his abilities as best he could. Sam was watching him carefully, and Jack felt like everything he did was being scrutinized, and he hoped he wasn’t coming up short. He needed this. For Amy. For the baby.
Jack looked around beyond the practice arena he was currently working in. He hadn’t yet had a chance to look around the ranch much, but from what he’d seen, it was pretty fantastic. Everything a rodeo cowboy could possibly want. Jack’s heart longed for something like this back in Spring Valley, and he could almost picture what he’d need to do to Stuart Ranch to make it a reality. Before he could get too lost in that old pointless dream, though, Sam rode once more to the starting position. “Come on, Jack, let’s go at it again. And pay attention this time.”
Jack bit his lip and turned his horse toward where Sam was waiting. He was starting to understand why Sam’s old partner might’ve quit. While the man was a great roper, one of the best, he was also a frustrating person to work with. Even after such a short time, Jack could tell that Sam was a rigid taskmaster who spoke to almost everyone with brusque condescension, including his teammates.
It was clear that for this to work, Jack would need to keep his mouth shut and do everything asked of him, no matter his opinion. That would be the only way to set his career on the right path and do what was best for his family.
“Focus, Jack,” Sam said, cutting into his thoughts. “I expect better this time.”
Sam waved his hand in the air and a steer was released into the arena. Jack gripped his rope and rode in time with Sam toward the animal. In just a few seconds the steer was immobilized and Jack felt a grin of triumph spread across his lips. It had been a great ride, first place in most any rodeo.
Sam pinched his lips together and shook his head as they let the steer loose. “You turned a little slowly at the end there. Wasted a quarter second. Let’s try again.”
By noon, Jack was exhausted and his nerves were frayed from Sam’s constant criticisms. Jack’s partners had always been supportive and excited to ride together. They’d been a team but also friends. Sam, however, seemed to be making it very clear that he didn’t want a friend.
Jack dismounted and rotated his roping arm slowly, feeling the burn of the muscles beneath the skin. Sam walked over to him and held out his hand. “I think we’ll be able to do great things, Jack,” he said with a small smile.
Jack shook the proffered hand, though he found it difficult to return the smile. It had been a long work day, and not exactly the pleasantest in recent memory. But this was his chance and he had to take it.
* * *
AMY STOOD IN front of the bowling alley, unable to make her feet move. This was the big moment, and now that it was here, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to do it. Ma, however, seemed unfazed by the momentousness of the occasion. “Hurry up, dear. For a woman who travels around the world constantly, you move slow as molasses sometimes.”
With that, her mother set a brisk pace toward the entrance, and Amy could do nothing but hurry to follow. Inside was dim compared to the bright sunlight, and it took a moment for Amy’s eyes to adjust. Before they could, she was engulfed in a hug. “Amy, you’re here!” said a woman who Amy couldn’t see but assumed to be Maryanne.
The woman stood back and, sure enough, she matched the picture Maryanne had sent. Amy’s same nose and mouth set into a different, darker face and surrounded by dark wavy hair. “I’m sorry for attacking you the moment you walked in. I’m just so excited that you’re here. Thank you for coming,” she added, turning to Amy’s adopted mother and grasping the older woman’s hand in both of her own.
After brief introductions, the three of them settled into a lane and started lacing their rented shoes. “Thanks for agreeing to meet at the bowling alley,” Maryanne said over the din of balls hitting pins. “I would hate to disappoint my son when he’d been looking forward to this for weeks. I can be a bit scatterbrained.”
Amy smiled, but before she could say anything, Ma was already reassuring Maryanne. “I think this’ll be a hoot, dear,” she said as she went to choose her bowling ball.
“Your adopted mother seems wonderful,” Maryanne told her while the older woman was out of earshot.
Amy had to agree. “I’ve been very lucky.”
Maryanne seemed to know what Amy was thinking, because she pulled a picture out of her purse. “This,” she said, handing one to Amy, “Is our biological mother. She... Well, she’s a difficult woman to explain.”
Amy stared at the photo, trying to absorb that
this was her mother. Maryanne kept speaking, and Amy listened intently. “I don’t know much about your adoption, just that Mom was young when she had you and wasn’t ready to have a kid. Not that she was much more prepared when I came along a few years later.”
Maryanne gave a sad little laugh that tugged at Amy’s heart, and Amy squeezed her sister’s hand. Maryanne shrugged, as if to say the past was the past. “I bounced between her and my dad a lot when I was little, but didn’t see her much by the time I was a teenager. I’m sorry to tell you that I don’t know where she is now.”
Amy still said nothing, staring at her mother. The woman in the photograph was thin and pretty, with a wide grin, but the characteristic that caught Amy’s attention more than anything else was her eyes. Those were Amy’s eyes. It was such a strange feeling, holding a picture of the woman who had given birth to her almost thirty years ago, then put her up for adoption.
A loud crash of pins broke Amy’s concentration, and she looked up to see Ma standing triumphant as the screen above their lane announced a strike. “Who’s next?” Ma asked, sitting down.
“I didn’t know you were bringing a ringer to bowling,” Maryanne commented before standing.
Amy shook her head. “Me neither,” she said.
After several games of bowling, each one ending with Ma soundly destroying the other two women, the birthday party wrapped up and Amy drove to Maryanne’s home while Ma went back to the hotel to “rest on her laurels,” as she put it.
Amy sat at Maryanne’s table as her half sister pulled out a box of pictures and a photo album. “The box is full of random pictures—some from my father’s side and some from Mom’s, but the album is all Mom and other people related to you. I brought it with me to Texas. I’m still so sorry about that, Amy.”
Amy waved away the apology and opened the album. Her mother stared out at her from the pages, looking young and happy in most of them. She looked friendly and outgoing. Amy turned to Maryanne, remembering the way she’d spoken about their mother at the bowling alley.