Back to Reality

by Danielle Allen

  I looked away from him and found Emily and Anthony watching. I couldn’t do anything but laugh.

  “What?” I scoffed feigning ignorance.

  Emily tilted her head to the side with her lips pursed. “Yeah okay.”

  “What do you mean ‘Yeah, okay’?” I asked, biting the inside of my cheek to prevent additional bursts of laughter.

  “You know exactly what I mean,” Emily raised her eyebrow and we both laughed.

  “Well, I want to know what you mean?” Mrs. Mills asked from the other side of Anthony, which only fueled our laughter.

  Mrs. McMannus beamed at us. “This reminds me of when I used to babysit you two and you’d just sit together and giggle all day. It’s good to see you two back in action again. It’s been way too long. Good to have you back home Sahara,” she drawled in her thick southern accent.

  I kept the smile on my face, but inside, I cringed. The whole dinner had been like it used to be—easy and fun. I felt like my old self again. Mrs. McMannus’ innocent comment sucked the air from my lungs and I deflated. I know she meant well. But why did she have to point out the elephant in the room. I wanted this one night to not be about me leaving. I wanted this to be about Emily. And because of what I did, I’m taking attention away from Emily and her success. I’m making her night about me, I thought as my eyes skirted across the room, refusing to land on any one thing. I vaguely heard Emily quickly change the subject, but I couldn’t focus on anything. I felt my body starting to shake slightly. Looking at the band, I tried to focus on the music but I couldn’t hear anything. The sound of my heart thundering in my chest was too loud. Wooziness started to take over when a thought occurred to me: I need to—.

  “Breathe,” Emanuel whispered into my ear as his arm wrapped around the back of my chair. His lips just barely grazed my ear causing every nerve ending in my body to react. I inhaled noisily, taking in his cologne and filling my lungs with the oxygen it had been deprived. I turned my head and locked eyes with him. My eyes were watery, but everything came back into focus. He was in focus.

  “We’re dancing,” he announced to the table, grabbing my hand. Focusing on my fingers interlocking with his, I avoided the eyes I felt on us. Once we were in the middle of the dance floor, Emanuel pulled me in close. We fell easily in step with one another as his hands encircled my waist. With my arms around his neck, I melted into him.

  “Are you okay?” Emanuel asked as we moved easily together. Our bodies just fit, I thought as I found myself distracted by his fingers massaging my back. I nodded against his chest.

  I felt him pull away slightly so I looked up. “Are you okay?” he repeated.

  I swallowed thickly and looked away before I responded. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

  “You stopped breathing,” he pointed out.

  I closed my eyes and nodded as he led us around the dance floor slowly. “It’s hard for me. I’m not the girl I used to be. Things are different. I feel different. I am different. And it’s just hard,” I whispered. I bit the tip of my tongue in an effort to prevent my eyes from watering behind my closed lids.

  “Look at me,” he commanded. Reopening my eyes, Emanuel searched my face. “You are the same Sahara Michelle Lee I’ve known my whole life. You are outgoing and strong and brave and smart and funny and…God, you’re beautiful.” He took his hand from the small of my back and traced the side of my face before he continued, “I see who you are now and you’re still the same woman you were then. The only difference is that now you don’t think you deserve to be happy.”

  I silently contemplated his words as ‘He Loves Me’ started playing. I don’t think I deserve to be happy. But it’s more than that. I’ve hurt people and continue to hurt people. I don’t want to hurt anyone I love again. I don’t think I could get over hurting someone else that I love. Not again, I thought as I dropped my eyes to his chest.

  Pulling my face to him, Emanuel pressed his forehead against mine. My heart skipped a beat as his lips were mere inches from mine. We were still dancing, but it felt like we were standing still. The butterflies made me feel almost jittery. Nothing else matters when I’m with him. It’s always been like this, I realized as his eyes bore into mine. Moving his head fractionally, he kissed my nose. Tilting my head up slightly, his lips brushed against mine. It was different than the other times we’d kissed. It wasn’t lust-filled and needy. It was tender and worshipful. He took his time, exploring my mouth with his own. I felt his hands moving subtly over my back. The guilt, the sadness, the hurt, the pain, all of it melted away.

  “…guys…that means you too,” Anthony joked from the microphone.

  Breaking apart suddenly, we opened our eyes at the same time. Oh. My. God, I thought in embarrassment as I looked around and noticed all eyes were on us. Emanuel smirked at the onlookers before chastely kissing me on the lips again. Wrapping his arm around me, he led us off of the floor as a few spectators applauded and catcalled. I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t do anything but laugh. Once we got to the table, everyone started talking at once.

  “When did this happen?!” Mr. Mills bellowed joyfully holding up his glass.

  “Finally!” Mrs. Mills and Emily exclaimed in unison.

  “Looks like we have many things to celebrate,” Mr. McMannus laughed merrily.

  “I think Anthony is trying to get our attention,” Emanuel pointed out, gesturing to the band area where Anthony was standing behind the microphone. We quickly quieted down and directed our attention up front.

  “As I was saying, tonight wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for the beautiful and talented Emily Mills. Emily, please join me.” Emily looked surprised and shot us a confused look before making her way to Anthony’s side.

  “Tonight, the beautiful and talented Emily exposed so many of her talents. She planned this event. She picked every detail. She even choreographed one of the performances. Everything about this night, Emily has had a hand in. She is obviously passionate about dance. When we first met, she told me that she would always be a dancer first and everything else second. With that kind of passion for dance, I’d like to be the first to publically and officially commit to investing in this studio.”

  Applause rang out as Emily beamed at him. Her hands came up to her chest and she said something that couldn’t be caught over the microphone. Taking her hand from her chest, Anthony kissed it. Not letting go of her hand, Anthony continued, “I’m investing because I believe in what Emily’s doing. I was a believer before tonight; but, seeing everything in action really solidified it for me.”

  Taking the microphone off of the stand, Anthony turned to Emily. “My investing in your studio is not just an investment in you. It’s an investment in us. It’s an investment in our future. Because I can’t imagine a future that doesn’t include you in it.” Dropping down to one knee, Anthony pulled a ring out of his jacket pocket. “Emily, what dance is to you, you are to me. I love you first and everything else second. And that will never change. Will you marry me?”

  Putting the microphone down, Anthony slipped a sizeable ring onto Emily’s finger as she nodded and screamed yes repeatedly. I wiped my eyes as I was overcome with emotion. Emily’s happiness and excitement could be felt in the air as we all cheered while they kissed. Walking over to the table, Emily hugged each of us, saving me for last.

  We threw our arms around each other and squeezed tightly. We didn’t verbally say anything, but I felt it. Finally. Everything just feels right. Our happily ever after, I thought weepily as I wiped my closed eyes.

  “We deserve it,” Emily whispered thickly.

  Chapter 15

  “Are you sure you don’t mind?” Emily asked again. The slight echo in the background let me know she was still in the bathroom.

  “I don’t mind at all. Enjoy your night! And congratulations,” I assured her switching my phone to the other ear. Anthony wanted to spend the night with his new fiancé, so Emanuel offered to stay with me for the night. I don’t need a babysitter
, but I certainly didn’t complain, I recalled with a smile. After our first dance, we spent the rest of the evening in a private bubble, talking and catching up. It felt easy. It felt natural. It felt…right.

  “I’m sure neither of you mind,” Emily giggled. “He wasted no time offering to stay with you.”

  I groaned with my hand to my forehead. “Yeah…in front of your parents though. He has no shame.”

  “Where is he now? You guys were attached to the hip all night,” Emily inquired with a laugh.

  “He’s getting dressed. He just got out of the shower a few minutes ago.”

  “I’ve never seen him the way he was with you tonight. I hadn’t seen him that happy in years. Tonight has been a really great night,” Emily sighed.

  “You got engaged tonight!” I enthused, purposefully ignoring her statement and her wistful tone. “Now go and have an awesome night, Em!”

  “You too!”

  After we concluded the conversation, I grabbed my toiletries and a towel. Before stepping out of the bedroom, I considered what Emily had said. She’s never seen him as happy as he was tonight? I considered her statement thoughtfully. My heart clenched thinking that if I would’ve reached out or if he would’ve reached out, we could’ve spent the last ten years together. But why would he have reached out? I pushed him away. I let him believe I left him while he was in a coma. I changed my number and my address over and over again. I made it impossible for him to find me. Is it possible that we are the key to each other’s happiness?

  Walking out of Emily’s guest bedroom, I dropped my stuff off in the bathroom and headed to the living room. My eyes fixated on Emanuel immediately. He was bent down in front of the TV, flipping through Emily’s collection of DVDs. He had on a grey T-shirt and black basketball shorts. His damp hair showed off his natural waves. Each time he reached for a different DVD, his muscular arms flexed. After a minute, he seemed to sense me watching him.

  “Hey,” Emanuel said sexily as he rose to his feet.

  “Hey.” I cleared my throat before I could continue. “I’m about to hop in the shower and then we can watch the movie. Did you find a good one?”

  Holding up the DVD that was in his hand, he answered, “I did.”

  “Scream!” I shrieked excitedly at the first movie Emanuel ever drove me and Emily to see.

  Emanuel chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. “I’ll pop some popcorn and cue the movie.”

  “Okay, I’ll be out shortly,” I called out to him as I made my way to the bathroom.

  Hitting play on my playlist, I stripped out of my dress and quickly jumped into the shower. Standing under the stream of hot water, I let it massage my body. This is nice, I thought with a sigh, marveling at the events of the night. How did this even happen? I had no idea today would turn out like this. Giddily, I sang as I washed and scrubbed.

  I finished my shower and wrapped the towel around my body. Quickly, I walked to the guest bedroom in an attempt to not drip water everywhere. Once inside, I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. I tried to calm myself down by collecting my thoughts.

  Wait, I thought as I struggled to take deeper breaths. I need to calm down. Why am I nervous? This is the same man I grew up with. This is the same man I spent so much time wishing I could spend quality time with. This is the same man I’ve always loved. This is the same man who professed his love for me, I thought with a smile. Butterflies exploded from my belly as I thought of Emanuel’s declaration. There’s no reason for me to be nervous to spend the next 10 hours uninterrupted with him. I love him. I’ve always loved—, my thought was interrupted by my own yelp as Emanuel knocked on the door.

  Startled, I whipped around and opened the door. Beads of water trickled from my wet hair to my slightly less wet body. Emanuel didn’t immediately say anything. His eyes slowly traveled the length of my body before he returned to my face. Once our eyes locked again, he licked his lips.

  “Do you want kettle corn instead?”

  “Yes,” I croaked as my heart raced. I was acutely aware of how naked I was and how close he was. His scent infiltrated my nostrils and the heated confidence that radiated off of him drew me in. I opened my mouth to say something, anything. But my mind went blank and I lost the ability to speak as I clenched desirously.

  “Okay,” Emanuel uttered softly as he remained standing in the doorway. For at least a minute we stood frozen, gazing at each other. Emanuel licked his lips again. My eyes focused on his delicious mouth and thoughts of what happened in Emily’s office washed over me. My skin heated instantly and I let out a heavy breath.

  The opening chords of ‘I Need Love’ started playing and Emanuel was the first to move. His hand reached out to stroke my hair. “You’re wet,” he noted quietly as his hand made its way down my shoulder and chest. When his hand reached the towel, he pulled gently causing it to fall to the floor. My nipples hardened instantly. Emanuel’s hand continued its descent down my body tracing down my sternum and across my belly. His fingers found its home between my thighs. “Everywhere,” he continued hoarsely. His voice combined with his touch was too much and I was panting instantly.

  Emanuel removed his hand from my body and stripped out of his clothing. My eyes traveled from his handsome face to his chiseled chest and abs. My lips parted as my eyes dipped lower. Watching him grow harder, my eyes widened slightly. Expectations exceeded, I thought as I reached out to touch him. I was awestruck by him.

  “Can you handle it?” Emanuel coaxed sexily as he backed me into the room.

  Something clever was on the tip of my tongue; however, I couldn’t get my thoughts together to say anything. Before I had a chance to really comprehend that the love of my life was standing naked before me, Emanuel kissed me roughly. The passion that emanated from the kiss set me ablaze. I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tip toes to grind myself against his thigh. His hardness speared me above my bellybutton and I had to physically restrain myself from climbing him.

  Emanuel grabbed a fistful of my hair and tugged my head back. With my neck exposed, he trailed feathery kisses from my collarbone to behind my ear. When he got to my earlobe, he bit down and nibbled gently. It may have hurt but the throbbing between my thighs distracted me from anything but the pleasure.

  Drunk off of desire, I opened my eyes woozily as I felt him press his forehead against mine. He backed me up until the back of my legs brushed against the comforter on the bed.

  “Sahara, I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you,” Emanuel whispered as he turned us around. He sat down on the bed and pulled me closer. With my legs spread on either side of his, he eyed me hungrily. Reaching up, he ran his hands down my chest, over my breasts. He stopped momentarily, pulling at my nipples. He continued down my belly and across my hips. Cupping my ass, he squeezed it before massaging his way up and down my legs. He palmed the back of my thighs and kissed the length of my pelvis, from hip bone to hip bone.

  “Emanuel…” I moaned, aching for him.

  “Say it again,” he demanded roughly, biting at my rounded hips.

  “Emanuel…Emanuel…” I repeated softly as I felt him twitch against my leg which only fueled my desire.

  Groaning, he removed one of his hands from the back of my thighs and stroked himself briefly. Feeling empowered by my effect on him, I whispered wantonly, “Emanuel…please…I need you inside me.”

  His fingers flexed on the back of my thighs and my breathing became increasingly labored as the seconds ticked by. Looking down at him, I ran my fingers through his wavy, black hair. Watching the way his eyes and hands worshipped my body turned me on to the point that I was dripping. With a firm tug, I pulled his hair, forcing his head back and his eyes on mine.

  His grey eyes glinted with unbridled lust and pain as he said, “I want you. I want you so bad it hurts. But I swear to God Sahara, if I get inside you. This is it for me. I’m not letting you go. I’m not letting you walk away again.”

  With my legs
on either side of his thighs, I sank down onto him. With each inch, he filled me and the sheer pleasure that erupted from my core weakened me. I grunted and struggled to keep my eyes open as I lifted myself up and down in his lap. With one hand on my hip and the other palming my breast, he guided my movements as I rode him. Everywhere our bodies were connected, I was on fire. Letting the tempo build, he watched me grind down on him, moaning his name repeatedly. His breathing was ragged as he alternated between nipples, sucking and biting. That feels so good. He feels so good, I thought while panting my satisfaction loudly.

  After a couple of minutes, Emanuel stood, keeping himself inside me. With one arm around my waist and the other under my ass, I wrapped my legs around him. Balancing me, he continued thrusting and when our lips found each other, we moaned in unison. Hitting a spot deep inside me, I clenched tighter causing him to groan loudly. My orgasm built as he drove himself into me harder with each stroke. My mouth fell open and my toes curled. My head fell back in ecstasy as pleasure took over and I had no control of my pulsating body.

  “Oh God,” I panted through sloppy kisses. I couldn’t get enough of him.

  Without withdrawing himself, Emanuel laid me down roughly and rammed into me hard. I could hear my wetness each time he slammed into me, deeper and harder than before. I barely heard him murmuring about how good I felt when he reached between us and used his thumb to stroke me. Crying out, I fisted the sheets as I tightened and convulsed around him. His muscles, slick with sweat, flexed in response. My orgasm spread throughout my body as I writhed beneath him. Groaning, Emanuel increased his speed causing me to spasm and extend the mind blowing pleasure that pulsed through my body. Seconds later, Emanuel exploded inside me and my trembling body went limp. The culmination of the physical and emotional pleasure Emanuel brought out of me caused me to fall into a deep sleep.