The Playgroup

by Janey Fraser

  He looked very handsome in beige chinos and a brown checked shirt, which he wore open at the neck without a tie. A woman at a neighbouring table was sending him admiring glances. I’m a lucky girl, she told herself as the waiter whipped out a pink starched napkin, placing it in front of her.

  After they ordered, they made small talk. At first, Gemma felt slightly nervous. This was a proper date, after all. She didn’t want to say anything that would put him off or make her appear boring.

  ‘How was your day?’ he asked.

  Gemma let out a mock groan. ‘Let’s see! The front half of the ox performed an impromptu puddle in her excitement, and then the second wise woman refused to leave the messy corner to practise.’

  Barry did a double take. ‘What’s the messy corner?’

  She was just about to explain when their food arrived. Barry had perfect manners, waiting for her to pick up her knife and fork before he did. But there was a reticence about him this evening that didn’t seem quite right. Years of uncertainty about Sam had taught her that she needed to know the score in a relationship: she had to find out what was on his mind.

  ‘Is something wrong?’ she asked nervously. ‘Am I boring you?’

  He put down his cutlery and dabbed his mouth. Gemma’s heart plummeted. He doesn’t care for me any more, she thought. He’s going to say we’re not right for each other after all.

  ‘The truth of it is, Gemma, that I’ve got to go back earlier than I had thought. I’ve got a posting in . . . well, I can’t say where at the moment. But it’s a long way away, I’m afraid.’

  Really? She hadn’t been expecting that. In one way, his announcement made her feel hugely relieved, because it meant he hadn’t been about to dump her. Then the implications of what he’d just said sank in. He was being sent abroad again. Where would that leave her?

  ‘I’ve got to report back on Christmas Eve,’ he added gently, reaching out for her hand.

  She felt tears prick her eyes. It was so unfair! Just as she’d found a man who seemed to care for her and who made her tingle whenever she saw him, he was leaving. He wouldn’t be here for Christmas Day when most couples were together. What was wrong with her? Why did she always attract men who didn’t stay?

  Barry squeezed her hand. ‘I feel the same as you, Gemma. I can’t bear the idea of being apart.’

  She hadn’t actually said those words, even though her face might have indicated as much. Yet it was proof that he knew what she was thinking. Did that mean they were soulmates? She felt confused, and only took in snatches of what Barry was now saying.

  ‘Understand that it would be unfair to expect you to wait without any kind of commitment . . . The sort of girl I’ve always been looking for . . . My mother thinks you’re wonderful . . . So would you do me the honour of being my wife?’

  His wife! He was proposing to her? Stunned, Gemma looked at the man kneeling beside her, holding a ring in an open box. The woman at the next table was staring with undisguised envy. Barry is actually asking me to marry him, thought Gemma, thrilled and amazed. She’d found him at last! The perfect husband. Was this really happening?

  But you’re married, said a small voice inside her.

  Rubbish, she told herself. It’s only on paper and besides, I’m virtually divorced, aren’t I?

  Barry’s right knee was still firmly on the ground as he held the ring up to her. He was beginning to look concerned. ‘Gemma,’ he said in a steady voice, ‘I understand this might be a bit of a surprise and believe me, it’s a revelation to me as well. But I love you and I want to share the rest of my life with you. Will you accept?’

  She lowered her voice. ‘Do you want to have children, one day?’

  He gave a decisive nod. ‘Of course.’

  That was all right then! The handsome Barry who turned heads and made her tingle and who wanted to marry her also wanted her babies! How amazing was that?

  ‘Yes,’ she heard herself saying excitedly. ‘Yes please. I do want to marry you!’

  ‘She’s said yes,’ someone yelled, and then the whole restaurant was filled with the sound of clapping.

  They had to tell Joyce first, of course, even though it was gone midnight when they got back. She whooped with excitement, hugging Gemma.

  ‘I knew you’d be a perfect match,’ she crowed. ‘I just knew it from the minute I met you, sweetie!’

  ‘Hey, Mum,’ Barry had joked. ‘Gemma will think you’ve set us up.’

  Then Joyce made the kind of face that suggested she felt she might well have had a hand in it, and insisted they all toasted the engagement with a bottle of champagne that she’d been saving for her grandson’s christening but which could always be replaced.

  Later, when Barry walked Gemma upstairs to her room, she stopped at the door. The light under Joe’s door, she noticed, was out. He was probably asleep or maybe away for the night, as he had been the other evening.

  ‘Would you like to come in?’ she heard herself say quietly.

  Barry looked surprised, and for a minute she wondered if she should have waited for him to take the initiative. If it hadn’t been for the shock proposal and the champagne she wouldn’t have been so forward, but they were engaged now, weren’t they? Besides, she wanted him to hold her close and run his tongue down her neck as he had started to do the other evening. Since then, she’d spent several nights on her own, wondering what it would have been like if he had continued.

  ‘I would love to come in,’ said Barry firmly. Before she could say any more he picked her up in his arms, just like a romantic hero in a black and white film. ‘Gemma Merryfield,’ he said, looking down at her, ‘I am going to make you the happiest girl in the world.’

  Then, still holding her, he somehow opened the door and went inside, kicking it shut behind them.

  Chapter 54

  GEMMA WOKE UP early because of the sun streaming in through the thin curtains. Stretching out diagonally, she slowly opened her eyes. And then remembered!

  Had she dreamed it? Or had Barry really scooped her up outside her door and carried her in? She glanced down at her left hand. Clearly she hadn’t dreamed the bit about getting engaged. She adjusted the sapphire ring, which was slightly tight on her finger.

  Gemma knew what Bella, who was an expert on engagement rings, would say about it. In Bella’s view, diamonds – preferably large ones – were the only suitable kind of stone, since they ‘went with everything’. But it was the man who was important, wasn’t it? Not the ring.

  Just at that moment the door opened and Barry walked in, fully dressed. ‘You made me jump,’ said Gemma, instinctively holding the sheet against her chest.

  Barry came and sat on the edge of the bed. ‘Sorry. I didn’t think about knocking.’ His hand caressed her shoulders. ‘Not after last night.’

  He kissed her lips lightly and Gemma tried to respond, but it simply didn’t feel right. Just as it hadn’t really felt right last night. It was all coming back to her now. Gemma had never been one for talking about sex to girlfriends, but both she and Kitty had always agreed that if you didn’t feel fireworks the first time, it wasn’t a good sign.

  Gemma hadn’t felt fireworks with Barry. She should have done. He ticked all the right boxes: attentive, steady, loyal, good son, hard worker, fantastic looking. And she’d definitely been attracted to him before last night. So why didn’t she feel the same way now?

  ‘Hope you didn’t mind me leaving you in the middle of the night.’ Barry was cradling her in his arms now, which made her feel slightly trapped. ‘The bed’s too small for the two of us, don’t you think, and besides I always get up at 5 a.m. to do my exercises.’

  He smiled in a slightly preening way, clearly expecting a compliment along the lines of ‘how dedicated’ or ‘you don’t need to work out’.

  Indeed, it was on the tip of Gemma’s tongue to say something polite, but just at that moment her mobile went.

  Barry raised his eyebrows. ‘A phone call? At 7 a.m.? Who’s r
inging my beautiful fiancée at this time?’

  He said the words ‘beautiful fiancée’ loudly, as though he wanted everyone in the house to hear. That was a thought. Had Joe heard everything last night through the thin walls? She didn’t like the idea of that.

  ‘It’s a missed call from an unknown caller.’

  ‘Really?’ Barry leaned over to look at the screen. Part of Gemma wanted to say that it wasn’t any of his business, but maybe he was just being caring.

  ‘There it goes again,’ he said unnecessarily. ‘Aren’t you going to answer it?’

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Is that Gemma?’

  The caller was well spoken and sounded familiar. She also sounded distressed.

  ‘Yes.’ She was feeling worried now. Had something happened to Mum? ‘Who is this?’

  ‘It’s Patricia, dear. Sam’s mother. I do apologise for ringing so early. Nancy asked me to call before you left for school. She felt you should know, after everything you’ve done for us.’

  Her voice was cracked and wobbly, as though it was walking on a tightrope and trying desperately not to fall. Yet her words were coming out quite clearly, without her usual mistakes. ‘It’s Danny. He’s taken a turn for the worse and has been rushed into the operating theatre. Unfortunately he seems to have rejected your bone marrow, so they’re trying another match.’

  There was a silence, as though she was about to fall off the rope. ‘If that doesn’t work, there’s not a great deal of hope.’

  Gemma’s eyes filled with tears.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Barry kept saying.

  She waved her hand to shush him. ‘I’m so sorry. Please tell Nancy and . . . and Sam that I’m thinking of them. Would you ring when he comes out of theatre? Thank you.’

  She turned to Barry. ‘Did I hear you mention Sam?’ he asked coolly.

  Gemma nodded, tears pouring down her face. ‘Oh, Barry. Poor Danny’s rejected my bone marrow. He’s been rushed into theatre.’ Weeping, she buried her head in his shoulder. ‘I’m terrified he’s going to die.’

  ‘There, there.’ Barry patted her gently on her back. ‘You had me worried there. For a moment, I thought it was a relative or close friend.’

  Gemma lifted her head. ‘What do you mean? Danny’s special. He’s one of my children.’

  ‘Sure he is, Gem.’

  Gem? No one called her Gem! Gemmie, yes, but that was only close friends and family. Still, Barry now fell into that category, didn’t he?

  ‘But it’s not like he’s your real child, is it?’ Barry stood up. ‘And I must say that now we’re engaged, I’d rather you distanced yourself from his parents.’ He looked at her carefully. ‘Sam is past history now, isn’t he?’

  ‘Of course he is.’ Gemma felt hurt. ‘He’s got nothing to do with my feelings for Danny.’

  Barry nodded as though satisfied. ‘That’s all right then. Now hadn’t you better get ready for work? I’ll leave you to get on.’

  How could he not have understood? It wasn’t as though they had just had a one-night stand. Barry knew how important her Puddleducks were to her. Yet he had brushed off her distress about Danny with a crass comment about past history. Was it because he was jealous of Sam? Maybe she should have tried to reassure him more about that. Meanwhile, poor Danny’s life was hanging in the balance again. Poor, poor Nancy. It wasn’t fair.

  Still weeping, Gemma went out of her bedsit, locking it behind her. As she did so, she could hear movement inside Joe’s room. So he hadn’t left yet? Impulsively, she knocked on his door.

  ‘Gemma! What’s wrong?’

  She could see his eyes taking in her tear-stained face. ‘Come in.’ He shut the door behind them, speaking urgently. ‘Has someone hurt you?’

  Shaking her head, she told him about Danny. As she spoke, Joe’s arms closed around her. It felt so good. So safe. Joe was one of the few people who would understand. And right now, still bruised by Barry’s reaction, she desperately needed someone who would understand.

  ‘He might not live,’ she ended, as they finally drew apart and she fumbled in her sleeve for a bit of loo roll. ‘How would his poor parents cope if he died? I feel so helpless, don’t you?’

  He nodded, handing her a proper handkerchief from one of his drawers.

  ‘Thank you.’ She blew her nose, noticing in his mirror that she looked really piggy-eyed and puffy. ‘I’m sorry but I knew you would understand.’ She almost told him that she’d also told Barry, but then she squashed that idea. Perhaps she wasn’t being fair to the man who was now her fiancé. It would take him time to understand her job and all that came with it, just as it would take her time to understand his.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she repeated. ‘I didn’t mean to be silly.’

  As he shook his head, she could see there were tears in his eyes too. ‘You’re not. And actually, there is something we can do.’ Joe’s voice sounded firm and reassuring. ‘We can be strong together. If anything does happen to Danny, we need to help the other children through this. I had some experience of this at my old school when a boy died. It affects everyone.’

  That was true. She liked his honesty. It was solid, like the rest of him.

  He gave her a smile. ‘My bike’s got a puncture. That’s why I’m still here. I had to dash back to get some more change for the bus. I don’t suppose there’s any chance of a lift into school?’

  She sniffed and nodded. ‘Of course.’

  As they walked out of the house together, towards her car, she felt Joe glancing down at her left hand. ‘I heard Joyce last night,’ he said in a cooler voice than the one he had used when comforting her earlier.

  Gemma’s heart raced. What else had he heard? Those walls were so thin!

  ‘I believe congratulations are in order,’ he continued evenly.

  She nodded. ‘It’s all a bit sudden.’ She felt an overwhelming need for him to know that she wasn’t the kind of woman who would jump into bed with a man whom she hardly knew. ‘I haven’t even had a chance to ring my parents yet.’

  Joe made an understanding face. ‘Sudden can be good,’ he said. ‘You never know when you’re going to meet the right person, do you?’ His eyes were fixed steadily ahead. ‘If you’re not brave enough to make a commitment, that person could just slip away.’

  He was right. Maybe that was why Barry had been jealous about Sam. He just didn’t want to lose her. So he wanted to make a commitment to make sure that she didn’t slip away or go back to her old love. In some ways, that was rather flattering. Wasn’t it? Or slightly controlling? The fact that she couldn’t decide was unnerving.

  They didn’t say much during the short drive to school. Joe looked as though he had as much on his mind as she did, even without the added worry of Danny. Then, as she was about to ask his advice on the seating arrangements for the nativity play, his mobile rang.

  Looking apologetic, he answered it. ‘Ed!’ he said in what was clearly a relieved tone. ‘I’m so glad you rang. Listen, I can’t really talk at the moment. May I call you back in exactly three minutes?’

  Clearly he couldn’t wait to leap out of the car as soon as she’d parked. ‘Thanks for the lift,’ he said, dialling a number on his phone. ‘See you later on, I expect.’

  Well, thought Gemma wryly as she made her way towards the Puddleducks building, it just went to show, didn’t it? No wonder Joe had made that comment about the right person slipping away. From the sound of it, he might just be getting back together with his ex-wife.

  Chapter 55

  NANCY SAT SILENTLY in the ward next to Danny’s empty bed. In her hand she held a small rubber in the shape of a pink and blue striped cow. Joe had brought it in last week when they had still thought Danny might be getting better.

  Lily, he explained, had bought the rubber from the farm gift shop just before she had disappeared. She’d been trying to get to London to visit Danny and give it to him as a present. Poor mite had had it clutched in her cold hand when they’d discovered he
r on the canal boat.

  Nancy now swallowed back the sobs in her throat at the thought of Lily, who had been used as a pawn in some celebrity game. Even so, she had a sneaking sympathy for Dilly Dalung, who had evidently shared her own concerns about child security.

  But at least Lily was still alive and healthy, while her son was, at this minute, undergoing another transfusion, this time receiving a complete stranger’s bone marrow.

  ‘Hello, dear.’

  Nancy didn’t even look up. No prizes for knowing it was Patricia, who took it in turns with her own mother to come in on a daily basis. They had organised a rota, they told her rather smugly. One would visit and the other would stay at home in Hazelwood to tidy up.

  ‘Is Danny still having his confusion?’

  Transfusion, you silly woman, she wanted to snap. Stop muddling your words up.

  She nodded.

  ‘And are you all right?’

  How could any mother be all right, in the circumstances? The older woman was taking her hand and stroking it rhythmically, just like she had stroked Danny’s before he’d gone into theatre. ‘You know, dear, that we haven’t always seen eye to eye, and I will confess that I didn’t immediately think you were right for my son.’

  You don’t say.

  ‘But I can see that I was wrong. I’ve watched you both over the last few weeks and seen how close you are now.’

  There was the sound of the old woman blowing her nose. Nancy really didn’t want to look up. She just wanted to concentrate on the rubber. It might be her last link to Danny.

  ‘Do you see this?’ Nancy stared at the cow, which was grinning at her. ‘Danny refused to let go of it, right up to when he had his anaesthetic. His friend Lily bought it for him.’

  Patricia blew her nose again. ‘So sweet.’

  ‘Danny has two good friends,’ continued Nancy slowly. ‘Lily and Billy. Both have their problems, but Danny’s were different.’

  Patricia’s hand continued stroking hers. ‘He has been rather too much of a mummy’s boy, if you don’t mind me saying.’