by Cynthia Eden
He swore. Shit. He’d just woken up, and ten seconds later, he was screwing up. “I would never hurt you. I will never lie to you again. I will—”
She moved fast. That new vamp speed thing. He blinked, and she was straddling him. Her legs were on either side of his hips, and her hands pushed against his chest. “I don’t want any lies.” Her voice seemed to tremble. “I think we’ve had enough of those.”
Fucking hell. He’d hurt her. And it felt as if he’d cut out his own heart. “Lauren.”
She kissed him. Her lips were the softest silk against his. Her tongue slid into his mouth, and a ragged groan broke from him. He’d been so afraid that he wouldn’t have her back in his arms. So afraid that Antoine would take her from him. Carter had been willing to do anything in order to get her back. Anything to keep her safe. Because she truly was everything to him.
“I don’t want to talk.” She breathed the words against him. “The sun will be up soon, and I won’t have a lot of time. I need to be with you right now.”
Like she had to ask twice.
“You scared me, Carter.” She stared into his eyes. “When you were shot at that casino theater, I realized something very, very important.”
His heart drummed in his chest.
“I love you.” Then she kissed him again. Deeper. Hotter. Harder. And he knew she wasn’t going to talk any longer. There was so much he wanted to say to her, so much he desperately needed to say, but he couldn’t. I don’t want to talk. Her decision. They’d talk, though, after. After the wild surge of need had been satisfied. After he finally reassured himself that Lauren was his. That she was safe. That no one would ever take her from him.
Her mouth went to his throat. She bit him and pleasure whipped through his body. He grabbed for her shirt because the woman was wearing far too many clothes, but instead of yanking it over her head, he wound up ripping the thing off her.
Lauren just laughed. A sexy, low sound that slid right over his skin. “I’ll take care of the jeans,” she said as she pulled her head back. “Though I’m sure you could rip those away, too.”
She rose off him. Stood by the side of the bed. His damn claws were out. His beast was hungry for her. Staring him straight in the eyes, Lauren ditched the rest of her clothing. A simple strip tease that was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen in his life. Her skin was perfect. Her breasts—she tossed away her bra—her breasts were the stuff of his dreams. Full, with dusky nipples that were tight and ready for his mouth. Her hips curved, flaring and making his cock twitch. Her sex was bare, waiting for him, fucking gorgeous. Then she turned around, giving him a view of her back. And of the wolf tattoo.
“The wolf…” His words were strangled.
Her spine stiffened. She glanced back at him, looking over her shoulder. “Funny, isn’t it? I always loved wolves. I thought they were protectors. They’re so loyal. That’s what everyone says about wolves, right? Loyal, strong, fierce.”
He wanted to put his mouth on the delectable curve of her spine. No, he wanted to put his mouth all over her.
“I got the wolf tat when I was eighteen because that’s how I wanted to be. I wanted to be loyal, strong, fierce.”
“You are.” All of that and so much more.
She came back to the bed. Climbed on top of him. This time, he was the one to kiss her. He couldn’t hold his lust in check any longer. He’d woken, and the woman he’d wanted most in the world was at his side. How the hell could he be expected to hold back when she was so close? The kiss was rougher, wilder, and he nipped at her lower lip.
Then he was grabbing her hips, and lifting her up. She straddled him again, and his cock wanted to plunge deep into her wet sex. But first…
He lifted her higher. He caught her nipple with his mouth. Licked. Sucked. Made her moan and gasp. He bit her lightly, then he licked her again. Carter gave the same sensual attention to her other breast.
Her fingers curled around his shoulders. His dick bobbed up, eager for the hot clasp of her sex. He slid his hand down her body. Eased it between her legs. Found her wet and hot, just as he’d known she’d be. The scent of her arousal drove him wild.
Take. Claim. Love.
He surged into her. Thrust hard and deep as she drove her body down against his. He filled her completely, and for just a moment, they both stilled. She stared into his eyes. He couldn’t look away from her gaze. Every single thing he’d ever wanted—in her eyes. My Lauren.
Then she smiled. She lifted up, rising onto her knees, sliding along the length of his cock, only to plunge back down. His control snapped at the tight clasp of her sex. He thrust into her, again and again. His claws were out, so he drove them into the mattress, barely caring when it ripped beneath him.
His thrusts were wild, untamed. And she met him—met his strength, met his passion. She came for him, crying out his name, and when her sex contracted around him, Carter growled his pleasure. He tumbled her back onto the bed, making sure to keep his claws away from her perfect skin. She lifted her legs up, moving her body eagerly, ready for more, just as he was. A werewolf’s hunger was a ferocious beast. He wanted, he needed, he took.
Carter slammed into her body, his need beyond control. She moaned when he took her nipple into his mouth again. He knew he was being too rough, that he should slow down, but Lauren…
She meets my passion.
She locked her legs around his hips. Her sex squeezed him even tighter. Wet. Hot.
And he went absolutely wild. The headboard slammed into the wall, knocking hard in a pounding rhythm. In and out, he drove into her, and Carter knew he was touching heaven. His heaven. His Lauren.
When he came, Carter roared out his release. And she was right there with him. She climaxed again for him, and Carter kissed her, tasting her pleasure, wanting her to taste his. Wanting to be so close to her that they’d always be linked.
In the aftermath, his drumming heartbeat slowed. His ragged breathing evened out, and he lifted his body off hers. He’d pretty much collapsed on top of Lauren. Sweat coated his back. He stared into her eyes.
“You broke the bed.”
His brows shot up at her soft words. He looked around—stuffing from the mattress littered the bed and the floor around them, and the posters at the top of the headboard had cracked. “I think…we broke it?”
She laughed. Only the laughter didn’t quite reach her eyes. He was still buried deep inside of her, and he wanted to go again. He could make love to her forever.
But…
Why didn’t the laughter reach her eyes?
“The sun will be up soon. I can feel it.” Her hands rose and she pushed against his shoulders. Reluctantly, he eased back. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to just hold her while the sun rose but—
Lauren slid from the bed. She wrapped a sheet around her body, concealing the tattoo on the base of her back, concealing her perfect body, and she hurriedly walked toward the bathroom.
“Lauren?”
She stilled.
“I love you.” It was important to say the words. He’d told her before, but the world had been going to hell around them at the time. He needed her to understand how he felt. How he would always feel about her.
She glanced over her shoulder at him.
“Antoine hired me to find you. He promised me…” Shit. Say it. “He promised me vamp blood in exchange for bringing you back to him.”
Pain flashed in her eyes. “Because you were hooked on the blood.”
He rose from the bed. Grabbed a pair of jeans that were on a nearby chair and jerked them on. “It was an accident. Isabella was trying to save me. I was—hell, I was dying—and without her blood, I would have died. But if a werewolf takes the blood of a vamp who isn’t his mate, then, yeah, the beast gets hooked. Hooked on the rush of power. Hooked on the damn magic that’s in the blood. I left my pack because I didn’t want them to see what I’d become. I fought that dark need for as long as I could, and when it was taking me over…” His w
ords trailed away.
“You went out and hunted vampires.”
Carter gave a grim nod. “I hunted the worst bastards out there. The killers who preyed on humans. The ones who needed to be stopped.”
A tear leaked down her cheek. “Then you hunted me.”
He bounded toward her, but then he stopped, not able to touch her because he had to finish his confession. He had to tell her everything. “I wasn’t going to take you back to him. You were innocent. I knew he’d transformed you, and the minute I saw you…fuck, the only thing I wanted to do was protect you.”
“You didn’t tell me the truth.”
Because I didn’t want you to look at me with hate in your eyes. “I was ashamed of what I’d become. I didn’t want you to see me as a monster.” Hell, he’d wanted to be her damn hero. Only that bit hadn’t worked. He was the monster. “Then I got your blood—I never meant to take your blood. Not yours. Not. You. But things got out of control, and the minute I tasted you, everything changed.”
She licked her lips. “Mating.”
He nodded. “The craving inside of me—the darkness that had just been growing and growing ever since Isabella gave me her blood—it finally stopped. It was as if—as if your blood was light, fighting the dark. You made me stronger. You made me want to be better. And all I wanted to do was make the world better for you. I planned to kill Antoine. I planned to eliminate every single threat to you.”
“But you didn’t plan to tell me the truth.”
Shit. Admit it. Man the fuck up. “If I killed Antoine, you’d never need to know. You’d never need to be hurt.” Tell her! She deserved every truth, no matter how raw it scraped his soul. “And you’d never need to know what a sick fuck I was. How I’d killed. How I’d hunted. You could keep looking at me the same way because I damn well needed you to stare at me with eyes that didn’t see my darkness. I needed you, and the last thing I ever wanted was to lose you. I would do anything to keep you with me.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Dammit, I sound as screwed up as Antoine. It’s not like that, I’m not—”
“I know you’re not Antoine. I know you’re not the kind of man who’d force me to become a vampire. I know you’d never do that.” She looked away, biting her lip. After a moment, she cleared her throat. “And do you think I don’t feel the same way? Even knowing the truth—God, I suspected you were holding back secrets all along and I still fell for you—but knowing it all now…” Her breath whispered out. “I still want to be with you. I don’t know if it’s the mating BS or if it’s just…” Her hand rose and pressed to her heart. “If it’s just because you’re so deep in here. But I want to stay with you. I wish that I—” Lauren stopped.
He lifted his hand. Stroked his fingers over her cheek. “You don’t have to wish. I’m right here. And I’ll spend the rest of my life making things up to you.” He tried to smile, but Carter worried he still appeared too grim. “Vamps and werewolves who mate—they have a very, very long time together. You can never change a werewolf into a vamp, the transformation doesn’t work that way, but the longer we’re together, the stronger we will both become. You’ll be able to go out into the sunlight again, and I’ll live as long as you do. I’ll spend those days making you happy, I swear it. I’ll be the man you deserve.”
Her long lashes shielded her eyes. “But you’re not a man.” Her voice was very, very soft. And very, very sad. “You’re a werewolf.”
A monster.
“Lauren—”
“I want to shower before…before the sun rises.” She turned away from him once more. “Give me a few moments, okay?”
He’d give her forever. If she’d just let him…he’d stay at her side, working with every bit of his power to make her smile every night of her life. To make her laugh. To finally make the shadows leave her eyes.
If she’d let him…
If she’d just give him another chance.
***
The water in the shower thundered down and steam filled the bathroom. But Lauren didn’t get under the spray of water. Instead, she dressed quickly in the clothes she’d stashed in the bathroom. She didn’t look in the mirror, she didn’t want to see herself in that moment, and then she hurried out—not going back into the bedroom with Carter, but rather using a second door to slip into a second, empty bedroom. From there, she exited into a narrow hallway and hurried down the stairs. Every single step that she took away from Carter hurt her, but Lauren didn’t look back.
She couldn’t.
Isabella was waiting for her at the bottom of the steps. “Are you sure about this?” Isabella asked nervously. Isabella—she was nothing like her cousin Antoine. Isabella was kind and good. She wanted to help Lauren.
Lauren feared she was beyond helping. “I don’t have a choice.”
Isabella caught her hand. “It will kill him to find you gone. You don’t understand the link between mates. I’m still trying to fully understand it myself. To live without your mate—you can go insane—”
“Can werewolves mate with humans?” Antoine had said they couldn’t. That it was impossible. She didn’t want to believe him, but…Lauren thought of the wrecked bed. The splintered headboard. The way Carter’s claws had dug into the mattress. She’d met him, thrust for desperate thrust. She’d been so eager for him. Her strength had matched his. They’d been perfect together.
Been.
“No.” Isabella gave a sad shake of her head. “Everything I learn tells me it’s too dangerous.”
Pain ripped through her heart. “Am I going to become human again?” Humans and werewolves can’t mate.
Isabella squeezed her hand. “There are so few humans who can make the transition in the first place. And when they do change, they…they tend to be overwhelmed by the blood lust.”
“You mean they kill right away.” So the whole if you don’t take a life within a month you go back to being human rule didn’t apply.
“Yes.” Isabella let her go. “Most vampires can’t resist the urge to kill prey. Especially new vamps.”
“So I might be turning back.” Turning back very, very soon. “Tomorrow night—that’s when I’ll know. When the sun sets, I’ll either wake as human or…I’ll be a vampire.”
“Stay here. Stay with Carter. Let him help—”
“I’ll come back to him, if I’m a vampire.” Because then they could be together. “But if I’m a human…” She’d once longed to be human. Wanted it more than anything.
Sympathy was clear to see on Isabella’s face. “If you turn back…A human can’t survive a mating with a werewolf. His control is too delicate. He might…he might—”
“Kill me?”
“Hurt you, accidentally or, he might—” Isabella’s eyes closed. “Dammit, yes, I learned that werewolves have killed human mates before. That’s why it’s so taboo now for those matings. Griffin found five cases of human mating deaths in the past. Oh, Lauren, I’m so sorry. The werewolves accidentally killed their mates, and then they killed themselves because their grief was too strong.”
Human or vampire. What would she be? “He’ll let me go.”
Softly, Isabella asked, “Why not stay and see the truth together?”
Pain twisted inside of Lauren. “Because I don’t think I’d want to walk away. Every moment with him weakens me more. This is it—the chance for us both.” Their only chance. A clean break. “I’m doing this because I do love him.” I will always love him. “And I won’t have him fighting his beast for me.”
“Lauren—”
“Is the car waiting?”
“Yes.” Isabella’s lips thinned. She dug into her pocket and then handed Lauren a key. “It’s my car. So you’ve got plenty of protection in those specially tinted windows.”
Great. She needed to drive fast before the sun rose. “Thank you.” Her fist closed around the key. She headed past Isabella, with her gaze on the front door. Only she didn’t actually reach that door because Griffin suddenly appeared, moving into h
er path.
“Are you sure?” His voice was low.
She glanced up the stairs. “No.” And that was why she had to leave while she was still strong enough to do it—still a vampire. “But everything I hear tells me that if I become human again, I’ll wind up destroying us both. So this is the only choice I have. To leave now.” She was trying to protect Carter in the only way she could.
“He’ll find you.”
This was the hard part. She squared her shoulders and stared the alpha straight into the eye. “Not when you tell him I don’t want to be found. Not when you tell him to stay away.”
Griffin swore.
“He loves me,” she said, and that was what hurt the most. “So he’ll let me go.”
“Even if it kills him?” Griffin demanded.
She skirted around him and opened the door. “Don’t you see? I’m trying to stop our mating from killing us both.” She was trying to save him.
Lauren hurried toward the waiting car. She jumped inside, cranked the engine, and sped away. She didn’t look back. If she did, she might crumble.
I have to be strong. For us both.
Chapter Fourteen
Vampire Rules To Live (Or Die) By…
Rule Seven: Blood is life. Nothing is more important than the blood. Not friends, not families.
Not a mate.
Carter watched as the small, black car sped away. His hand was on the glass of the windowpane, as if he could reach through it. Stop her.
The sun wasn’t up, not yet. Darkness still ruled, and he watched the car until the tail-lights disappeared.
Time passed. He still stood there. He was still standing there when the first streaks of red and gold slid across the sky. He was still there when the door creaked open behind him, and Griffin stepped inside. He would have known his friend’s scent anywhere.
“Lauren…” Griffin began gruffly. “Um, she’s…”
“She left me.” Not like she would have been able to sneak away without him knowing. He was a werewolf, and his senses were so strong. He’d heard the creak of the door in the bathroom when she’d slipped into the other room. He’d heard the squeak of the stairs. He’d sworn he’d smelled her sadness…and her fear.