by Rivi Jacks
“Jealous?” Diane asks.
I snort softly and turn back around. Teresa has tried to cause trouble between Lucas and me right from the start.
“Of what?” Teresa continues. “You think I envy this sham of an engagement?”
“This bitch is about to piss me off,” Emma Rae says, glaring at Teresa.
“Don’t let her spoil our good time, Emma Rae.” I smile at her. “It’s just Teresa doing what she does best.”
Teresa laughs loudly. “You really think Lucas is marrying you out of love, don’t you?”
I turn to look at her, narrowing my gaze. “Teresa—we’re not bothering you so why don’t you turn around and mind your own business.” My eyes connect with Bobbi’s then, and she quickly looks down. I would never have thought it, but for the last few weeks, ever since our harrowing escape through the tunnel, Bobbi has remained strangely quiet around me.
“You know what,” —Teresa says pulling my attention back to her— “I don’t think you know what’s really going on,” she says smugly.
I just shake my head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I bet it’s another one of your fantasies about Lucas.”
“Oh, no!” She laughs softly. “You’re the one living a fantasy.”
I turn back around and decide to ignore her as I should have right from the start.
“You need to ask Sam about the night Lucas talked to him about how to keep those freaks—you know the ones that are here because of you—away from you,” she says near my ear.
I turn slowly, dread settling in the pit of my stomach. “What are you talking about?”
“Teresa, don’t,” Bobbi says.
“Ask your cousin because you won’t believe me.” She starts to turn around and then turns back. “Ask Lucy. I heard her tell Jordanna about Lucas’ conversation with Ben. How marrying you would help keep you safe.” Teresa’s eyes glow with malice. “Ask Bobbi.” She motions over her shoulder at her friend. “Nick knows all about it too.”
“Shut up, Teresa,” Bobbi hisses, her face flushed. Her eyes meet mine for a split second, but I see the truth—there’s something to what Teresa is saying.
I can’t breathe, and there’s a loud ringing in my ears as I turn back around.
Emma Rae jumps up, and Diane grabs her arm. “Don’t Emma Rae!” she whispers. “Don’t make a scene and have everyone else here listening to her lies.”
I want to say Teresa is lying, but too much of what she’s said rings true. “I need to get out of here,” I breathe, suddenly afraid I might be sick.
It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, walking out of that dining room knowing Teresa is gloating. Instead of heading out the front door, I go on around the counter and head for the back door with Di, Emma Rae, and Mary right behind me.
“I need to talk to Sam, and I don’t want Cal or Fisher to see me leave.” I halt at the door, undecisive of what to do.
“Mary,” Emma Rae says, “can we borrow your truck?”
“Sure.” Mary fishes her keys out of her pocket.
“Can I ask an even bigger favor?”
Mary nods. “Of course, Sofie. Anything.”
“Go outside and tell Fisher that you have a message from Lucas. Have him call Cal around front. Tell them—” I frown. I don’t know what to tell them, my thoughts are in turmoil.
“I got it,” Mary says and turns to head toward the front of the store.
“Sofie, you can’t put any stock in what Teresa says.” Diane gives me a concerned look.
“I just need to talk to Sam.”
“Let’s go,” Emma Rae says, opening the back door. “Fisher and Cal will be onto us at any moment.”
Emma Rae drives as we head for Rose’s house.
All manner of questions go through my thoughts. The main one is how can this be happening? I hold onto the hope that Teresa is lying—but I don’t think she is. She’s always had a knack for finding out things about Lucas to needle me with. And this time— I take a deep breath— I just need to remain calm and talk to Sam. Sam will set everything straight, and all will be well. But there’s an ache already starting in the vicinity of my heart that doesn’t think so.
We pull up in front of Rose’s house, and I see Sam standing on the front porch with some of her family. Diane slides out of the truck to let me out as Sam looks our way. I see his frown as I cross the yard. He meets me halfway.
“What’s wrong?” His brow is creased with concern.
Do I look upset? That’s odd because I feel like my face is frozen in place. “I need to ask you something.” I sound a little breathless.
“Okay,” he drawls the word.
I clear my throat. “Did Lucas talk to you about keeping me safe from the Kihn?”
Sam cocks his head. “What’s this about, Sofie?”
I glance away and see Rose on the porch watching us. “Teresa Ryder said you had a conversation with Lucas about keeping me safe. I’m assuming it was the night Christian was hurt.”
Sam nods slightly. “Yeah. You were asleep when he got there, and he was beside himself.” Sam crosses his arms across this chest. “He kinda lost it. He prowled around that waiting room like a caged animal. He made more than one comment about not being able to keep you safe from the Kihn. Max and Taylor talked to him, but it didn’t really seem to help.”
“But he did talk to you about me?”
“He did but—”
“Did he say anything about marrying me to keep me safe?” I think my heart slows waiting for his answer.
Sam gives me a long blink and then frowns. “I don’t remember him saying that specifically but he did eventually say he knew what he had to do to protect you. He calmed down after that.”
My heart is racing, and I wonder if this is what a heart attack feels like.
“Sofie, if you’re thinking—”
“Oh, Sam.” My voice is thick with tears. “I—I need to go, I need to talk to Lucy.”
“Lucy?”
“She was there when Lucas talked to Ben about marrying me.” I look toward the house and then start moving backward toward the truck. “I’m so sorry. I hope I haven’t held up supper.”
“Sofie—”
“Please tell Rose that I’m sorry—”
“Sofie, stop.” Sam holds out his hand toward me as he looks back at Rose before turning back to me. “I’m going with you. Just give me a moment to tell Rose.”
“No!” —I shake my head— “I can’t let you do that, there’s no need. Now I feel terrible knowing—”
He closes the space between us and grips my shoulders. “I’m coming with you,” he says firmly.
“Thank you,” I whisper around the tears in my throat. I watch as Sam walks across the yard to where Rose waits before I turn to walk back to the truck where Diane and Emma Rae wait for me.
“Lucy?” I poke my head around the door before stepping into the kitchen as Sam follows me in. Ben’s truck is gone, and I’m relieved. I don’t want him to know about any of this until he needs to know. The only way I could get Emma Rae and Diane to leave me was by convincing them I needed the situation with Cal and Fletcher defused, and they were going to have to do it for me. So they’re on their way back to Murphy’s to return Mary’s truck and reassure the vampires that I’m safe, with my cousin, and on my way home. I just hope the guys aren’t too mad at me. I think I’m getting a reputation for being difficult with Lucas’ men. I certainly don’t make their guarding of me an easy task.
“Maybe she’s with Ben,” Sam says.
“Sofie?” Lucy enters the kitchen. “Hey you two, what a nice surprise. How about a glass of iced tea?” Her smile falters. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know if anything’s wrong,” Sam
says hesitantly looking over at me.
“I need to ask you something, Lucy,” I say.
She frowns. “Ok.” She glances at Sam. “Have a seat.”
I sit at the kitchen table in the chair Lucy pulls out for me. So many good and loving memories have been made here in this room, at this very table. So much life—so many dreams and plans have passed through here. Some sorrow too. Sitting at this table is where Ben told me about Gram and Gramps—about the car wreck they didn’t survive.
I hope my future with Lucas doesn’t end here.
“Sofie, what’s wrong?” Lucy reaches over and places her hand on top of the one I have resting on the table. I promptly turn my hand to hold hers.
I take a deep breath. “I need you to tell me about the day Lucas came here and talked to Ben about marrying me.” I remember the day Lucas told me that he had asked Ben for my hand. I was touched by the respectful, and romantic gesture.
Lucy smiles. “Aww—very sweet of him. And perceptive. I know that’s not done that often anymore, but for Lucas to realize he needed to with Ben was—”
“Were you there with them when they talked?”
She smiles. “Yes.”
“Lucy, I need you to tell me what Lucas said to Ben.”
Her eyebrows rise at my tone, and she glances at Sam. He nods. She lifts her shoulders and shakes her head slightly. “He asked for your hand in marriage.”
I shift in my chair. “But what did Lucas say?”
She frowns. “Sofie, what’s going on? Why are you asking me this?”
I look down at my hands now clasped in front of me, my fingers interlocked tightly. I raise my eyes to meet hers. “Did Lucas talk about his concern for keeping me safe from the Kihn?”
She nods. “He did.”
“Did he say he wanted to marry me to keep me” —my voice breaks— “safe?”
Her eyes widen, and she quickly looks at Sam.
“I need to know what Lucas said, Lucy.”
Her eyes dart back to mine. “He… he did say that, but you need to have heard the whole conversation, Sofie. He is not marrying you to only keep you safe. That’s not why,” she hurriedly adds as I stand.
I look over at Sam as he rises. “I need to talk to Lucas now,” I say calmly.
“Sofie, I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. Lucas loves you. He’s crazy about you!” Lucy cries.
“Thank you, Lucy.” I move to the door.
“Sofie, please don’t go,” she pleads. “Ben will be here shortly, and he’ll be able to explain better what—”
“Lucy—” I turn back to face her, and my heart constricts at her expression. “I need to talk to Lucas now and get this straightened out,” I say softly giving her a hug. “Please don’t be upset and please don’t worry about me.” I’m already heading out the door as I say, “I’ll call you later.”
I’m numb.
Lucy confirmed what Teresa said, but I didn’t tell her that Teresa overheard her telling my aunt Jordy about Ben and Lucas’ conversation. I couldn’t see any reason to have Lucy blaming herself. Sam and I left her upset as it was.
Sam pulls his truck to a stop in front of Lucas’ house. We sit silently for several minutes before Sam finally shifts, angling his body toward me.
“Lucas is standing on the porch,” he says, the first words he’s spoken since we left Lucy.
I close my eyes and then give a little nod. I can feel him. “Thank you for going with me to speak to Lucy.” I look over at him. “Thanks for just being here for me.”
“Sofie,” He reaches for my hand, “I know you. I know what you think all this means but take a moment. Talk to Lucas. Don’t make any hasty decisions until you’ve had time to think about what he has to say. Remember what he means to you.”
I nod again, more than a little surprised. Sam doesn’t usually hand out unasked-for advice. I reach over to hug him. “Thank you.” I sit back. “The thing is—I’m devastated,” I whisper.
“I understand that,” he says.
“Would you want Rose to marry you because you could keep her safe?”
“Isn’t that part of what a good marriage is all about, feeling safe?” he asks.
“It is but not for just that reason alone, and I know you feel the same way.”
Sam rests his arm on the back of the seat, a slight frown on his face. “You don’t believe Lucas loves you?”
I frown looking down at my hands. In my heart, I want to believe he does. “I think… love should be declared when considering marriage,” I say softly. This is hard for me to talk about—admit—even to my cousin. “It’s my fault,” I whisper shaking my head.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve—been willing to marry him even though he’s never told me he loves me. He’s shown me love in many ways” —I look down at my hands heartsick at the thought that maybe I interpreted too much in Lucas’ actions — “at least I told myself it was love,” I add softly.
I look up at the house. Lucas still stands there watching—waiting. He knows something’s wrong. I’m certain that as soon as Fletcher discovered I’d left Murphy’s, Lucas received a call. I look back at Sam. “Knowing what I do now, that he proposed for reasons other than love—I don’t think I can marry him, Sam.” I almost choke saying the words.
“Sofie,” Sam says firmly and reaches to squeeze my shoulder. “Don’t make a decision on this until you discuss everything with Lucas. He deserves that. You both do.”
I take a deep breath. “Okay.” I open the truck door. “I love you, Sam. Thank you, and I’ll call you later.”
“Sofie, I’m staying right here for however long it takes. Until you know if you’re staying or you need a ride.”
“Thank you,” I whisper. I step out and close the door. I don’t argue because I’d do the same for him.
I meet Lucas’ eyes across the expanse of yard that separates us and fear settles over me. It’s frightening how utterly alone I suddenly feel. And hurt. Hurt that Lucas wasn’t entirely honest with me. Hurt that he would think I’d settle for a marriage in this manner. And I’m ashamed. Ashamed that with stars in my eyes I was willing to settle.
I lift my chin and straighten my spine as I ascend the front steps, and by the time I come to a halt in front of him, I’m angry. But when I meet his eyes and see the way he looks at me—in a way he never has before—I know it’s an apology. An apology for hurting me.
I don’t know what I planned on saying—my mind goes blank looking up into his eyes. I have a sudden, insane urge to tell him that I have enough love for the both of us.
“Lucas—”
When he steps forward and reaches out to me, I take a step back and hold up my hand, halting his approach.
At that moment I recall a conversation I had with my grandfather, just days before his and Grams accident. Did he have some type of premonition that he might not make it to the time in my life when I was old enough to fall in love?
We were discussing his and Grams upcoming wedding anniversary when out of the blue Gramps said that he and Grams had become the best of friends throughout the years. He went on to say that love was important but so was the friendship and mutual respect that grew through years of sharing the good and the bad of life.
I remember asking him if love was as important as liking each other. He’d responded by saying they both were important—but love changed with the passing of years, becoming deeper and more substantial. He told me that love at the beginning of a relationship was passionate in its intensity, but it was the comfortable love that developed over time that was the enduring type. But that type of love also needed some of the passion of youth too. I remember nodding as I listened, as I always did when he was trying to teach me something. I idolized my grandfather.
&
nbsp; And then he went on to say, “One thing, Sofie—don’t ever fool yourself into thinking you could ever be happy in a loveless marriage. One of the saddest and loneliest things in this life is to love someone you know does not love you back. It can make a person bitter.”
I know over time, that type of marriage would destroy me.
Lucas sees this stark realization in my eyes. “Sofie.” His voice is raw with emotion.
“Lucas, I—” Sam’s warning not to make any hasty decisions echo in my thoughts. I swallow as I struggle to say the right words because no matter what—I love Lucas with all my heart. “I guess Fletcher called you? I gave him and Cal the slip. I hope they’re not in trouble.”
Lucas’ eyes move over my face. “They’re not,” he says. “Fletcher was able to convince your co-worker to tell him a little of what happened.” I nod, taking in the way the light makes his eyes a beautiful silvery-green. I swallow against the lump that forms. “I was able to piece it together,” —he continues— “what was said to you.”
I take a deep breath, suddenly sure of what I need to say and do. “It wasn’t what was said, Lucas. It was the revelation—the reason you proposed to me.” He frowns. “At first I felt hurt for myself, but it’s you I now feel sorry for.” His frown deepens. “The fact that you would settle for marriage with someone just to fulfill your quest for revenge.”
His eyebrows rise in surprise, and when he starts to respond, I hold up my hand. “I understand, I really do.” I look down. “Your need to get this gate closed for good is your top priority,” I look back up to meet his eyes. “As it should be because if the Kihn and Ezra make it to the other side, the rest of us are all in peril.” I take a deep breath. “But for how long did you know you were going to come for me?” I ask softly.
For just a moment he looks stunned. “Sofie—”
“You told me more than once that it was all about the Kihn.” I hurry to add, knowing I need to say what I worked out on the way here.