by Rivi Jacks
He knew before he even came to Sweetwater that I had a connection to the Kihn.
He shakes his head, his eyes suddenly angry, his jaw clenched so tightly a muscle jerks there.
I glance away looking out toward the tree line beyond the yard. When I look back, my eyes are brimming with tears. “I just didn’t realize that I was part of your plan,” I whisper, swiping at my eyes with my jacket sleeve.
A pained look crosses his features, and then he steps close to pull me into his arms holding me tight as I cling to him. He buries his face in my hair, his chest expanding as he inhales deeply.
“Why weren’t you just truthful with me?” I cry. “I know you care for me.”
I feel the sudden tensing of his body, and then he takes hold of my arms and steps back holding me away from him, putting distance between us. “Care for you?” His eyes burn as he looks down into mine. “Sofie, you’ve had your say, now you’re going to listen to me,” he rasps.
My eyes widen at his harsh tone.
“You mean everything to me. I stated that fact right from the beginning of our relationship. But you think because I’ve not said the words that could never possibly describe what I feel for you, what you mean to me—that I only care for you?” He bites out the words, his eyes scorching with their intensity. He gives me a little shake. “How can you negate everything I’ve ever said to you, everything we’ve shared?” His hands tighten almost painfully on my arms as he glares down at me. “The times I’ve made love to you, buried so deep inside of you that it felt as if our souls were connected—you think that was an act on my part?” Disbelief, anger, frustration—all these emotions cross his features. “Answer me!”
I shake my head and pull at his hold. “No,” I say in a choked whisper.
He releases my arms only to slide one of his around my waist, jerking me up hard against the length of his body. I blush at how quickly desire pools in the pit of my stomach. He lifts his hand to weave his fingers tightly through my hair, tilting my head back so he can peer into my eyes. The expression on his face steals my breath. “Sofie— if you truly think that you mean that little to me, and you place so little value on everything that has happened between us—then there’s nothing I can say or do to convince you otherwise.” And with that said, he abruptly releases me as if he can no longer bear to touch me.
My heart slams against my chest in reaction to his words. “I value everything that has happened between us,” I declare tearfully as he turns and moves away to stop and stare out across the yard, his hands buried in his front pockets.
He slowly turns back to face me. “Where do we go from here?” he demands curtly.
I take a deep breath. I’m so confused. I know if I stay here I won’t be able to stay away from him, and I need time to think about what I now know about our engagement. About his duplicity. It’s not lost on me that he hasn’t denied the fact that his proposal was generated for the purpose of keeping me safe from the Kihn.
But even so, a part of me wants to put all this aside and go on with our lives… get married and live happily ever after. But then that hateful little voice says, how can you be happy when every time you tell him you love him you know he’ll never say it back—or worse—he will say the words but only to keep you happy. Looking down to hide my pain, I say, “I’ve decided to go away for a bit. I’ll ask—”
“Absolutely not!”
I almost smile at his autocratic tone. Looking up to meet his eyes, I say softly, “I think for now… you’ve lost the right to tell me what to do.”
I see the conflicting emotions on his face before his lips quirk a little suspiciously at the corners. “Are you honestly saying I have ever been able to tell you what to do?” His arched eyebrow rises in question.
I do smile then as I look away. When I look back, Lucas’ body is stiff and rigid, his jaw tightly clenched.
“Sofie, I am not going to let you leave me,” he says firmly.
“I’m not leaving you, Lucas—I just need—a little time alone.” My eyes plead with him to understand my need to be by myself. I feel as if I’m breaking on the inside and I need to put everything into perspective before my doubts start chipping away at our relationship. It’s already in peril. He’s also not denied that he initially sought me out as part of his plan for revenge.
We stare at each other silently for several minutes, and then the fierceness in his eyes suddenly softens, and he says, “You stay. I’ll go. I’ll stay away as long as you need me to.”
I frown, shaking my head. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not—I’m offering.”
That he would do that— My chest tightens. I hesitate before saying, “I think I need a break—from here.”
I see the flash of pain in his eyes before he conceals it and a vise tightens around my heart. He looks out toward Sam, and I turn to see both my cousins leaning against the tailgate of Sam’s truck. I don’t know when Sawyer arrived, but I’m not surprised.
I can see the muscle jerking along Lucas’ jawline when I turn back to him. I know he’s mad and concerned about me leaving the compound. I’m concerned too; I won’t go far though. But he doesn’t need to know that. Not yet.
I cross to stand in front of him. He looks down at me but makes no move to touch me, his hands still in his pockets. I’m both sad and thankful for that.
“I’ll be okay, I promise.”
When he remains silent, I turn and walk down the front steps.
Sawyer opens the truck door for me as the tears pool in my eyes. He gives my shoulder a quick squeeze before I slide into the truck.
I won’t let myself look back as Sam pulls on around the circle drive, but at the last moment, I’m unable to stop myself from glancing over at the side mirror. I can see the man I love standing at the top of the steps as he watches us drive away. I try not to cry in front of my cousins, but it’s all just too much, and the tears fall unrestrained. I already feel dead inside, and I know I will continue to feel that way as long as I’m away from Lucas. I’m leaving my heart behind with him.
I just pray he knows that.
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I hope you enjoyed the return to Sweetwater and that you look forward to Book Three for the conclusion of Lucas and Sofie’s story.
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Rivi
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