Reaching the front door of Number Three she pushed it open and went inside, heading straight into the sitting room to collapse on the sofa. She’d lie down for a bit she decided, that should sort her out. She just needed a rest.
* * *
EVER SINCE HE finished Ali’s book Tom hadn’t been able to put it out of his mind; it had really brought Bobby back to life for him and he couldn’t wait for his mother to read it. He needed to go and see Ali though, he knew that, for no matter what their differences were right now, the book united them and he wanted to tell her that.
When he stepped outside he saw her at once. She wore a blue floral dress that fluttered around her legs in the breeze as she walked along the shore with the pup on a lead. Someone was coming toward her, walking quickly with long purposeful strides. Ned—it was Ned. Whatever was he doing here? For a moment Tom froze, apprehension looming inside him. Was he planning to speak to Ali? Well if he was then it wouldn’t be to say anything pleasant; he’d been complaining about her for weeks, ever since he found out about the baby.
For several minutes Tom watched helplessly, not wanting to interfere. He could see that they were both animated and he was worried about Ned upsetting her, but then she just turned and walked away with her head held high; he admired her for that. Ned stood and watched her go; he looked angry, and Tom wondered if he should go over and speak to his brother. Ali walked slowly away from him, seemingly unperturbed by their confrontation, so Tom decided to keep a low profile and catch up with her about the book later.
She came back from her walk after just twenty minutes or so and Tom gave her time to go inside and get settled before heading over to see her, the manuscript tucked in the crook of his arm. He knocked on the door. “Hello... Ali!”
When he got no reply, alarm bells rang in his head. He pushed them aside; she’d probably gone for a shower or something. He’d come back later.
It was as he walked away that he heard the cry. At first he thought it was the scream of a gull but then it came again; it was human...a human cry.
“Ali!” he yelled again, more urgently now, running back to push open the front door. He burst through into the sitting room that overlooked the sea and stopped in the doorway, waves of panic rendering him helpless.
“Tom!” she called desperately, her eyes wide with panic. “The baby...it’s the baby. It’s coming...now.”
“Right.” He found his voice suddenly. “I’ll ring for an ambulance.”
“No,” she begged. “There’s no time. You have to help me now... I have to push.”
“My mother then,” he insisted. “I’ll ring her. She’ll know what to do.”
“No... Please, Tom, it’s...” she began and then she was gripped in a pain so intense that it took her totally in its grip. Her face contorted, tears squeezed from her eyes and she let out a loud cry of agony. Tom sank to his knees beside her, taking her hand as she started to pant.
“Breathe,” he urged. “Just breathe.”
As the contraction abated she let out a sigh. “You have to do it,” she begged, her voice breaking as another contraction took her in its grip. “Help me, Tom... Please.”
He raced up the stairs in a panic, desperately trying to think as he rifled through the cupboards until he found some towels. Rushing back downstairs two steps at a time, he spread the towels on the carpet beside the sofa and then carefully helped Ali ease herself down onto the floor and into a more comfortable position. As she lay back her pupils dilated and she clung to Tom’s arm, stifling a groan.
“I have to push,” she cried. “Now.”
“Then push,” Tom told her, adjusting her dress and calmly removing her panties. There was no time to think, no time for embarrassment; he acted on instinct, urging her again and again to push, watching and waiting while she gripped so hard onto his hand that her fingernails drew blood.
“I can see the head,” he cried, overcome by emotion. “Come on now, Ali...one really big push.”
With a huge surge of energy Ali pushed, her face turning beetroot red as she gave it her everything. “It’s coming,” he yelled as the baby slid into the world.
Picking the baby up in his arms, Tom reached for a towel. She needed to cry, that was one thing he knew, though where the knowledge had come from he had no idea. Acting purely on instinct he gently rubbed the little mite, massaging her chest until she started to scream; healthy lungs delivering life. With a powerful emotion he’d never experienced before, gently and carefully he wrapped Daisy in a clean towel and placed her in Ali’s arms, meeting her wide, proud, satisfied smile with one just as huge. “There you go, Mum,” he said, automatically leaning down to place a kiss on her forehead. “Well done...and now I am going to ring the hospital.”
* * *
TOM FOLLOWED THE ambulance to the hospital in his pickup, for who else was there to go, and anyway he told himself, he felt kind of responsible now.
When he saw Ali again she was sitting up in bed nursing Daisy. Her eyes were wide and soft and so filled with love that it made his heart hurt. “You okay?” he asked, wondering if she wanted him there.
She nodded, tears brimming. “Thank you,” she said. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there to help me.”
“You were amazing,” he said. “And now you’re a mum...awesome thought.”
When he looked down at the baby’s scrunched little face he found himself searching for Bobby’s likeness and hated himself for it. “I’ll come back tomorrow.” He hesitated. “If you want me to that is.”
She nodded shyly. What had seemed quite normal in the urgency of childbirth now made them feel awkward. “I’d like that, if you don’t mind, and I’m sorry you had to...you know.”
He shook his head, dispelling her regret. “I’m just glad I turned up at the right time... Is there anything you need by the way?” It felt like small talk, which seemed absurd given the situation.
“No...thanks.” She held his gaze. “My bag, the one you collected for me, was already packed with everything I might need... Please will you tell Lily.”
“Of course...” he agreed. “She’ll be so excited. Can I bring her to see you?”
Ali nodded enthusiastically. “You could come back tonight if you like. I’m not going to be in here long anyway.”
“What...you mean they might send you home already?”
“That’s what they told me, as long as the baby’s okay. To be honest...”
When a flush ran up her neck, coloring her cheeks, he frowned. “To be honest what?”
“Please don’t be annoyed but I think they presumed we were a couple and I didn’t put them right because I wanted to go home as soon as possible... It’s not as if I expect you to look out for me or anything so you don’t need to worry. They’ve checked Daisy over and they say that for a preterm baby she seems really healthy, and as long as I have support then I should be able to go home very soon.”
An unexpected smile flitted across Tom’s face as her information sank in. “Ah,” he said. “So they must think that as I delivered the baby, then I must know what I’m doing, when the reality is that I didn’t have a clue.”
“Now you tell me,” she said, smiling back.
It was only as Tom was driving home that he realized he hadn’t mentioned Bobby’s book, or asked her what Ned and she had been talking about. Both could wait until tomorrow when Lily wasn’t there, he decided, wondering why he was so looking forward to seeing Ali again. She’d just given birth to another man’s child and he was a long way from being ready to take on fatherhood; even if the baby had been his it would have been daunting. He needed to take a step back and think about this; he was prepared to help her out but he mustn’t let himself get sucked in.
He was attracted to Ali, he couldn’t deny that, but things were different now and he had to keep a strict control on his feelin
gs. Ali and he had had their moments; moments when he really thought they had a future together despite the fact that the odds were stacked against them at every turn. Now though it felt as if way too much water had passed under their particular bridge for them ever to be more than just friends.
Parking outside the pub he hurried inside to find Lily. To his dismay the first person he bumped into was Ned.
“You look a bit stressed,” remarked his brother.
“So would you if you’d just helped a baby into the world,” Tom said with a ring of pride in his voice.
“Her baby?” Ned asked in surprise. “But I only saw her this afternoon and she seemed fine.”
“What did you say to her?” Tom’s voice held an accusing note.
“I asked her what everyone else is thinking.”
“And that is?”
“I asked her if the baby is Bobby’s...and don’t tell me you don’t want to know.”
Remembering that moment of birth when he’d looked at Daisy’s face for Bobby’s likeness, Tom froze.
“Everyone knows that when a child is first born it looks like its dad,” Ned went on. “It’s nature’s way of making sure that the father accepts it, so they say... So go on, what did you think?”
“I think you should just shut up,” said Tom coldly. “Anyway, I know for a fact that it’s not Bobby’s baby.”
“Told you that, did she?” Ned raised his eyebrows, smirking. “You need to wise up, Tom. Bobby’s gone so she’s sweet-talking you now.”
Without another word Tom pushed past his brother and went to look for Lily. He was shaking, he realized, holding out his hand. What was that all about? What was Ned’s problem? He was helping Ali out, that was all.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
AS SOON AS Lily saw Tom she knew. “It’s Ali, isn’t it,” she said, jumping up and down. “Has she had the baby?”
Tom nodded. “Yes, she’s at the hospital and she wondered if you’d like to visit tonight.”
“With you?”
He nodded, Ned’s words ringing inside his head. Bobby’s gone so she’s sweet-talking you now. “Yes, with me,” he said. “I just happened to call in when she was in labor and...”
“Oh my goodness!” Lily cried. “You mean you actually helped with the birth?”
“Didn’t really have a choice,” he admitted sheepishly.
“Come on then,” she said, grabbing hold of his sleeve. “Are we going now? I’ll need to stop somewhere to get her some flowers.”
“I wouldn’t bother,” Tom told her. “She and the baby might be coming home tomorrow. You can get her some then.”
Lily’s face lit up and her voice rose in excitement. “Do you think she’ll let me help her with Daisy?”
Tom smiled, infected by his little sister’s exuberance. “I’m sure she will,” he said.
* * *
WHEN THEY WALKED into the ward Ali was sitting in a chair beside the bed holding Daisy in her arms. In the moment before she looked up and saw them Tom experienced an unexpected and mind-blowing wave of tenderness, Never before had he seen such a glow on anyone’s face, a glow of such love that it made Ali’s skin appear almost translucent.
“Daisy!” cried Lily, and the moment was gone, but Tom knew that it would be etched in his mind forever.
He watched patiently while Lily cooed over the baby. It was strange now to think that he had actually helped bring the little mite into the world, actually held Daisy’s tiny naked body and gently wiped it clean before placing her in her mother’s arms. Awesome was the word that sprang to mind and even that didn’t come close to how he felt about the whole experience. For a fleeting second Ali looked up and caught his eye, smiling softly in recognition of their shared bond.
“Thank you,” she murmured. “For everything.”
Tom shrugged, embarrassed by the warm feelings that welled up inside him. “It was nothing that anyone else wouldn’t have done in the same circumstances,” he insisted.
“Can I hold her, Ali...please,” Lily begged.
He turned toward his sister, glad of the interruption.
“I think you’d better wait until she’s a bit bigger, Lily,” he suggested.
“It’s okay, Lily,” she said. “Here, you can hold her. I’ll help you.”
Lily seemed to enjoy every minute of the visit, but for Tom, it dragged on and on. He felt awkward in Ali’s company when a short time ago they’d been friends...and it had nothing to do with embarrassment about seeing her give birth. It was more that he was acutely aware of her every gesture, the way she lifted her hand to make a point and the way her face lit up when she laughed. He needed to stay away from her because he didn’t know how to cope with the feelings she brought out in him. They’d almost been way more than friends before he found out about the baby, and then he’d messed up by asking her if Daisy was Bobby’s child.
He’d believed her, too, when she’d denied it but still he kept on looking for a likeness, as if something inside him wouldn’t let it drop. Ned hadn’t helped either, with his accusations. And then there was the bottom line; even if the feelings he harbored for Ali were strong enough to get over all that, there was still the fact that she came with a ready-made family; he definitely wasn’t ready for that. Plus he’d always said that if he ever got married he would have to change his whole way of life.
As they said their goodbyes he felt sad to be leaving and guilt washed over him. He should have behaved differently, been more gracious. He could see the puzzled look in her eyes and his heart ached for her sorrow but still he couldn’t bring himself to be open with her.
Lily on the other hand wore her heart on her sleeve. “Can I come again...please?” she asked, throwing her arms about Ali’s neck.
“Well I might be coming home tomorrow,” Ali told her, kissing her softly on the cheek.
When Lily asked if they were picking her up, a flush colored her cheeks.
“I’ll probably get a hospital taxi,” she said, glancing awkwardly across at Tom. “But you can come and see us whenever you want and—”
“No—” interrupted Tom, stepping forward. “You don’t need to do that—just ring me when you know what time and I’ll be here to drive you back to Cove Cottages... I presume that’s where you’ll be going?”
“Of course,” cried Ali; a wide smile lit up her features. “Bring Lily with you if she wants...and, Tom...”
“Yes...”
“Thank you. I realize that this is awkward for you but a lift home means a lot.”
He gave a brief nod, wishing it could have been more but so afraid of taking that leap. “See you tomorrow then,” he said.
“Tomorrow,” she repeated. “I’ll ring you.”
As he drove Lily home, Tom’s mind went back again and again to the moment when he and Lily had walked into the ward. Ali had thanked him, her eyes bright with emotion, and he’d been so ungracious. It was just panic, he realized. The whole situation had spiraled out of his control, and he hated not being in control. In the last twenty four hours there had been way too much raw emotion for him to handle.
“Daisy is beautiful, isn’t she, Tom,” remarked Lily in a dreamy voice, breaking his train of thought.
“Yes,” he instantly agreed. “And Ali looked lovely, too, don’t you think; motherhood must suit her.”
Lily just looked out the window, smiling a happy little smile. “Well I think so,” she said.
* * *
AFTER TOM AND Lily left, Ali sat in her chair with the baby on her breast, breathing in Daisy’s distinctive scent, unable to believe how she could have turned overnight into a different person. Just a couple of days ago she’d had very little to do with babies and even worried that her mothering instincts might be lacking. As soon as she held Daisy in her arms for the first time, a huge rush of emotion had flooded ove
r her, a suffocating wave of love that bordered on ferocity. This baby, this precious delicate child was an extension of her own being and she would do anything to keep her safe.
Somehow she’d known just what to do, holding Daisy so naturally in her arms as she suckled, and glorying in the feel of her child drawing strength from her own body.
“You’re a natural,” the midwife told her. “Perhaps she’ll be the first of many.”
Ali shook her head firmly at that. “I don’t think there’ll be any brothers or sisters for a while I’m afraid,” she responded with a smile.
“Of course there will,” declared the midwife, Susan. “I saw the look in your partner’s eyes; not many men would have been able to do what he did either, helping you with the birth like that. You’re a very lucky young woman.”
“But he’s not...” began Ali, biting her tongue as she remembered what the doctor told her earlier, when she asked about going home. When it’s a first baby, and especially a preterm, I like to be sure new mothers have support at home before I agree to an early discharge. Although of course in your case I don’t need to ask the questions as it’s pretty obvious that you have a very capable partner.
“So when do you think we’ll be able to take Daisy home?” she asked.
“Probably tomorrow, depending on how the baby’s doing. At the moment though everything seems fine. She’s feeding well, you seem to have plenty of milk, and to be honest you seem to be taking this whole motherhood thing in your stride so...fingers crossed.”
“Fingers crossed,” repeated Ali with a beaming smile. “Hopefully I’ll be ringing Tom first thing tomorrow then.”
* * *
AT ELEVEN O’CLOCK the next morning Lily burst into the ward, her pretty face alight with excitement. “Are you ready?”
“Where’s Tom?” Ali asked, cradling Daisy in her arms.
“He’s just parking up in the short stay car park. I said I’d go on ahead to tell you that we were here. He’s bringing the baby carrier.”
A Home for Her Baby Page 15