by Lyle, Linda;
As soon as the meeting was over, Randy singled out Dr. Jenson about the job. When he left thirty minutes later, he felt confident that he had a good chance of getting the job. Of course, he would have to apply like anyone else, but he had all the qualifications and was young and unattached, which made moving that much easier. He would know for sure in a couple of weeks.
Driving home, Randy found himself going through Rachel’s neighborhood. On impulse he stopped in front of her house. He turned off the engine and looked up at her apartment. He could see her silhouette in the window. He needed to talk to her one more time, make sure before he made his final decision. With a slap to the steering wheel, he got out of the car and started up to her door.
❧
Rachel paced around the room, looking at her watch every thirty seconds. She tried a few deep breaths to control her nerves, but nothing seemed to help. She just had to face it. She did not like confrontations of any kind. Yet, she just couldn’t go on this way with Kyle.
Something had to give or change. She wanted a deeper, more intimate relationship than what they had, or she wanted out. Rachel stopped midpace at the realization that had just hit her. All this time she had wanted nothing more than for Kyle to notice her, and now that he had, she wasn’t happy. Why?
The doorbell rang, interrupting her thoughts. She opened it without looking in the peephole. “Hi, Kyle…” Kyle’s name died on her lips as she looked into Randy’s eyes. She stood there for a moment, mouth open. Gathering herself together, she clamped her mouth shut. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m not sure.” They stood looking at each other in the doorway for several minutes.
“May I come in?” Randy asked.
“No. Yes. I mean, I’m expecting someone.”
“I know, but this won’t take long.”
“Okay.” She stepped back for him to enter. She glanced down the street before she closed the door. No sign of Kyle.
She watched Randy pace around the room. Something was obviously on his mind. “Randy, is something wrong? You look upset.”
“Nothing’s wrong. I just needed to talk to you about a decision I need to make. I wanted your input.” He raked his fingers through his hair. A part of her wanted to repeat the gesture.
“What is it?”
“I just found out about a job opportunity in Dothan. It would be an administrative position, more money. I have a good chance at getting the job, but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or not. What do you think?” He gave her one of his piercing looks.
“I’m not sure. It sounds like a great opportunity.” Rachel turned so that he couldn’t see her face. She knew it probably reflected the sudden pain she felt in her chest. She didn’t want to lose him. A good friend was hard to find. She ignored the little voice that questioned, Just a friend?
“Can you think of any reason why I shouldn’t take the job? Anything that could keep me in this area?”
She could feel his eyes watching her every move. What did he want? Her approval. “I don’t know, Randy. I think that has to be up to you.” She gathered up her courage and faced him. “I mean we’ve become good friends and…” The doorbell interrupted her midsentence. She opened the door to find Kyle lounging in the doorway. One look at the professor and he pulled himself up.
“What’s going on here?” Kyle asked. “I thought we had a date for tonight.” Rachel didn’t like his tone at all.
“Randy needed some advice. We were just talking about a possible job opportunity.”
“Really. What kind of opportunity?” Kyle demanded.
“An administrative job in Dothan,” Randy replied.
“Sounds like a good thing to me,” Kyle said.
“Well, I’d better be going, Rachel. You two have plans, I’m sure.” Randy nodded at both of them and slipped out the door, leaving Rachel feeling torn and awkward. She wanted tell him that they should talk about it later, but he was already halfway down the walk.
“Come on, Rachel. Let’s go. I’ve got a surprise for you.”
thirteen
In the car, Rachel silently fumed. The more she thought about it, the more Kyle’s attitude made her just plain mad. How dare he strut around, acting as if he owned her?
She was so lost in her anger that she didn’t notice where they were headed until they stopped on a remote road that led to the old drive-in theater. The drive-in had been closed so long that the original name had long since been forgotten—now it was simply called “Lovers’ Lane.” Rachel looked around in confusion. What were they doing here? She was just about to ask Kyle when the words were blocked by his lips. She pushed at his chest, but he used the momentum to get one arm around her while the other was moving into forbidden territory. The weight of his body pushed her back into the seat and suddenly the car seemed to move. Then she realized that somehow he had reclined the seat and he was on top of her, suffocating her. It took a moment for her to realize what was going on, and then her reflexes kicked in, literally. One swift move and he was back in his seat with a howl.
“What was that for?” he yelped. He was bent over double and his face was red with pain and anger.
Rachel had already sat up and was resetting the chair with a snap. “I could ask the same question. What do you think you were doing?” Rachel yelled, her eyes blazing.
“Just what you asked for,” he said. He shifted to ease the pain.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“You said you wanted to get to know each other better. You said we didn’t spend enough time alone. What was I supposed to think?”
“That I meant exactly what I said. I wanted to get to know you as a person, not in the biblical sense.” Rachel straightened her sweater where roving hands had rumpled it. “I thought you were a Christian.” It was more an accusation than a question.
“I am. I go to church every Sunday and Wednesday. I’m a good guy. I don’t drink or do drugs.” He had recovered enough from the pain to sit up, but he refused to look at Rachel.
“From what just happened, I’d say this wasn’t your first time to ‘Lovers’ Lane,’ was it?”
“Well, it’s not like I come here every Friday night with a different girl.”
“One girl is one too many.” Rachel stared at Kyle and wondered how she could be so wrong about a guy. This was not the guy she thought she knew. He was an alien. “This kind of thing can get you into trouble. What if you got carried away?”
Kyle shifted uneasily in his seat. A horrible premonition sent a shiver through her spine. She willed him to tell her it wasn’t true, but his silence said more than she wanted to hear. Rachel shook her head slowly, trying to erase the ugly thoughts in her head. He must have known what she was thinking because he immediately began to give excuses.
“Look, Rachel. It’s not the same for girls as it is for guys. I’m thirty years old. That’s a long time to wait. So, I slipped once or twice. Big deal! Everybody does it.”
Rachel’s mouth dropped open and then snapped shut. “Everybody doesn’t do it, Kyle. Sex is meant for a husband and wife and no one else. All that stuff about it being different for men is just a line, and it’s no excuse. And what about the women you slept with, Kyle? What about them? If girls are supposed to stay pure, what about them? Are only certain girls supposed to stay pure, and the rest are free game?”
Kyle didn’t answer. He just stared into the night. He had obviously tuned her out. She swallowed the rest of the arguments like a horse pill. Nothing she said would get to him now because he didn’t want to admit he was wrong. He had convinced himself that he was in the right.
“Take me home.”
Without another word he started the engine and backed out. The ten-minute drive to her apartment seemed like an eternity. She got out of the car without a word and started toward the door. She heard the tires squeal as he pulled away. Nothing would ever be the same again.
Rachel tossed and turned all night, reliving the scene in the car. How coul
d she have been so wrong? How could he sit in church every Sunday without ever being convicted of what he had done? Was it really that different for guys? Was it too much to ask for a guy that waited for marriage? Were they all like Kyle?
The questions went around and around in her head until she was dizzy. Burying her head under her pillow, she tried to drown out the sounds, but it wasn’t until the early morning hours that she drifted off into a troubled sleep.
The next morning over coffee, she remembered Randy’s visit. The grogginess wore off instantly. A panic seemed to spread through her at the thought of him leaving. What was she going to do? Rachel was taken aback by how much the thought of him leaving upset her. It was almost as upsetting as last night’s revelations about Kyle. She mentally shook off the thoughts and tried to concentrate on a plan of action. It didn’t matter why she didn’t want him to leave—what mattered was how to make him stay. She chewed absently on her fingernail until her cup of coffee was cold, and still no ideas came. Maybe a brisk walk would clear her thoughts.
❧
Randy shifted through the samples of wallpaper and paint again. If he was going to move, he had to finish this house and put it on the market. The master bedroom and bath were the only two rooms left that needed remodeling. He just couldn’t decide how he wanted to finish the room. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand to relieve the strain. He had been up late last night looking at samples to keep from thinking about Rachel and that Kyle guy. What did she see in him anyway? He pushed the samples away in frustration and got up. Grabbing his coat from the banister where he’d left it the night before, Randy headed for the park.
Whenever he was restless, which seemed to be all the time these days, he headed for the park. A brisk walk always seemed to soothe him and helped him open up his heart to God. He had to get quiet to hear that still, small voice. He walked around the park three times at a quick pace, but he couldn’t hear the voice, and the restlessness was still there. He was about to turn around and go home when he spotted Rachel standing in front of the remains of the community center. She was reading a sign. He couldn’t tell what it said from this distance, but from the way her shoulders drooped it couldn’t be good. He crossed the space between them in a few strides and tapped her shoulder. She whirled around, one hand at her throat.
“Oh, Randy. It’s just you. You scared me half to death.”
“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to scare you. What’s so engrossing that you can’t hear footsteps?”
“Read it for yourself.” It was a notice of demolition to be completed in less than a week. “What are we going to do?” She looked at him, pleading with him to give her the answer she needed. More than anything, he wished he could help her, but he was fresh out of ideas.
“I honestly don’t know, Rachel. Maybe there’s nothing we can do.”
“But what about my students?”
“What about them? What are they doing now?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve been so busy trying to save the building that I haven’t kept in touch.” As she stood thinking, the wind blew her hair around her face. His hand itched to push the wayward strand behind her ear, to run his fingers through the length of it, to kiss the frown from her lips. Just then, she looked up and they were connected for one moment by an unseen force. It lasted only a moment before she turned away. He cleared his throat.
“Maybe you should talk to your students and see what they need. Maybe they don’t need this building at all.”
She looked at him, and he could see the spark again in her eyes. “It’s a place to start anyway. I’m not doing any good standing out here.”
“Me either. I guess I should get back to work.” She nodded and headed back toward her apartment. She had only gone a few yards before she turned back.
“Randy!” She paused. “Thanks.” She gave a little wave and then took off at a run. He gave a halfhearted wave and whispered, “You’re welcome.” Then he headed back to the samples. He seemed to remember a paint sample the color of the sky on an autumn day. Just like Rachel’s eyes.
fourteen
Rachel hung up the phone and stared at the receiver. That was call number ten and it was all the same. Every student she contacted was involved in other activities, either at church or at the library. None of them seemed upset or distressed by the closing of the Center. Of course, they all thanked her for her help, but they didn’t seem lost without her. Rachel continued to stare at the receiver for several more minutes. The ringing of the phone shook her out of her reverie.
“Hello.”
“Hi, dear.” Rachel almost groaned aloud when she recognized the voice. She just couldn’t handle this right now.
“Hi, Mom,” Rachel replied. “What’s up?”
“Does anything have to be up for me to call my only child?” Her mother’s voice took on that martyr’s tone Rachel knew so well.
“No, Mother,” Rachel said with a sigh. “I just figured you had a reason for calling, that’s all.”
“I just wanted to check and see how you were getting along since the tornado. Is everything okay at work?” To give her a little credit she did sound concerned. Rachel twisted the phone cord around her finger.
“I’m fine. They’re going to demolish the Center, but my students all seem okay with it. I don’t know what Susan’s going to do, but I’m sure she’ll find another job.”
“Of course she will. She’s a smart girl.” Her mother sounded cheerful, but a little stiff, as if she was forcing the words out.
“Mother, is there something in particular you wanted to talk about?”
“Well, yes, but I don’t want to start fighting again.” Rachel tightened the cord around her fingers, waiting for the punch line. “I gave Dale your address. Now, don’t start yelling. He wants to apologize, to make it up to you for last time. Why don’t you give him another chance?”
Rachel could feel the cord cutting off her circulation. “I gave him another chance, Mama. He blew it. I don’t ever want to see him again.”
“Why not?” Her mother’s voice shrilled over the line. Rachel held the phone a few inches away from her face. “He’s a nice young man and he’s interested in you.” Rachel felt her muscles clench. The way she said it made it sound as if she were lucky to have anyone interested at all.
“What do you think, Mother? Do you think I’m desperate? That I should take the first thing that comes along and be grateful?” Rachel could feel the tears and anger rising in her throat, making her voice hoarse.
“No, but you can’t be so picky. You’re not getting any younger, you know. All of your friends from high school are married and have children. You’re going to have to come down from your high horse or you’re going to be left all alone.”
“I’d rather live alone than be miserable the rest of my life!” Rachel tried to control the raging feelings inside her.
“Well, if you keep this up, you might just get your wish!” She heard the phone click and then a dial tone.
Rachel hung up the phone in slow motion. She curled into the fetal position and let the tears come. Hot, angry tears coursed down her face, but no sobs. She picked up a pillow and threw it as hard as she could. It landed softly on the floor. Oblivious to how she looked, Rachel headed for the park. She stumbled blindly, reliving the conversation over again. It was a repeat of a hundred others, and every time it was like a knife stabbing her in the heart.
God, why? Why does she do this? Is it too much to want a good, Christian man? One who loves me for who I am? Is there something wrong with me? Questions and doubts clamored in her head, blocking out any communication.
Unwilling to go home or sit still, she plodded on until the descending darkness caused her to take a look at her surroundings. Nothing seemed familiar. She had wandered aimlessly, paying no attention to where she was headed, until nothing was recognizable. Rachel slowed to a stop in front of an old Victorian house. Something about it caught her eye. It was a house with
character, a sense of history about it. That was one of the reasons she hated to see the Center destroyed—the way the past had made an impression on the very stone and wood. Even if her students were no longer interested in the building, she just couldn’t stand to see such beauty go to waste.
She must have been standing there for several minutes because the porch light came on and the door squeaked open. Rachel’s mouth dropped open when she recognized the owner.
“Evening, Rachel. What brings you to this part of town?” Rachel stared up at Randy in shock. He was the last person she would have expected to find here, and yet it seemed to fit perfectly. It was just the kind of house he would live in. She searched her mind for a reply.
She shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know. I went out for a walk, and I guess I just wandered around. I hadn’t realized how far I’d come.”
“Then, I guess you must be tired. Why don’t you come in and rest for a minute?”
Rachel dug for an excuse, but couldn’t find one. She was tired, but the shadows were still hiding her puffy eyes and rumpled appearance. If she went in, he was sure to ask questions that she wasn’t ready to answer. He must have noticed her hesitation because he came down the steps to the gate.
“Come on in. I could use some advice.”
“Advice?” Her confusion gave him enough time to open the gate. Too late she realized the street lamp gave him a full view of her face.
“Hey! Are you all right?” he questioned, his eyes full of concern. He touched her arm and then pulled her gently into the gate. There was no use turning back now. Her worst fears had already come true. She might as well sit down and rest a minute. Somehow it was reassuring to have his arm supporting her, especially when her knees caved. “Whoa.” He caught her with his other arm and lifted her easily into the air. She was so close that she could smell a mixture of cologne and fresh paint, an odd combination. He took her inside, depositing her on an antique couch.