Like the day he’d told her she didn’t need to prepare dinner on the housekeeper’s day off. He would cook, he’d said, and then he’d arrived home laden with paper sacks from the fast-food restaurant.
‘It’s an old family tradition,’ Lady Dorothy explained. ‘Disgusting but delicious. Our little secret.’
If only he knew how much harder he was making everything.
Because it was irresistible. She was being drawn into this family. Made to feel as if she could be an accepted part of it and Oliver was showing her, all over again, the reasons she had fallen in love with him.
The very real love he had for his mother.
The streak of humour that lay mostly hidden beneath such a controlled exterior.
That hint that he would actually revel in the chance to rebel if he thought he could get away with it.
He got that from his mother. He had her strength of character and single-minded determination as well. He just hadn’t learned to balance things. Had he learned as a child that friendship and fun had to be sacrificed in order to retain control of what was happening in his life? Bella knew she could teach him otherwise if she had enough time.
She didn’t have the luxury of time so was it so dreadful to put off the confession that would spell an end to what was beginning to happen? She would never have it again. Maybe it was knowing that this was the very last time in her life that she could embrace fantasy before stepping into the responsibilities of being completely grown up. Being a mother and not a carefree young woman with the possibilities of anything she could dream of ahead of her in life.
Was it so terrible to want one more night with Oliver? Because that seemed to be where this new attitude was heading.
* * *
Things were improving.
Glimpses of the old Bella were returning. It had taken some effort but it had been well worth it. He’d seen a gleam of…admiration, perhaps when he’d gone as far as suggesting that she give him another line-dancing lesson.
He would have done it, too, but she’d been evasive.
He’d made her laugh, though, offering to cook and then turning up with hamburgers and French fries.
She seemed happy to talk to him too and it was so easy to talk about things that always bored the kind of women he’d always dated. Medical stuff, which was all he really had to talk about, wasn’t it? Had he really dismissed Bella as a somewhat ditzy young nurse? She was smart and things she probably hadn’t learned in her training had been absorbed on the job. She actually seemed fascinated by the intricacies of neurosurgery and the questions she asked were intelligent.
What stayed with Oliver during his days at work was the way she could centre on the people involved, not just the medical details. Bella cared about patients she hadn’t even met and he would find himself following them up in more detail, even asking about things in his patients’ lives that had nothing to do with the case, just so he could make them more real for Bella and hold her interest even more keenly. The odd thing was, he was getting more interested himself. Connecting with his patients in a way he never had before.
Bella Graham really was the most intriguing woman he’d ever met.
And she was…gorgeous.
The idea that having a relationship with her would undermine his controlled life to a dangerous degree was fraying around the edges now. With every passing day, Oliver was craving more than just trying to make the old Bella reappear from that unusually restrained version.
He was craving her.
He wanted Bella. No, he needed her.
His control finally broke one evening the following week, when there was a particularly spectacular sunset happening.
‘Come with me,’ he said. ‘I want to show you something.’
He led her down through the garden.
‘I’ve never been this far,’ Bella said. ‘I keep meaning to find the steps and go and have a swim at the beach. Is it safe?’
‘The beach? Yes, it’s perfectly safe.’ Going this far with him, the way he was feeling right now? Probably not.
‘It’s good swimming.’ Oliver had to clear his throat. ‘You need to stay on the steps going down, though. The cliff can be a bit crumbly in places. Here, this is what I wanted to show you.’
The old summer house was at its best on an evening like this, warmed by the glow of the sunset and with a clear view of the ocean and the changing light.
‘It’s my personal haven,’ Oliver told Bella. ‘The place I always feel most at peace with the world.’
Would she understand how significant it was to bring her here?
She seemed to. She was standing so close to him and when she looked up, Oliver was sure he was going to drown in what he could see in her eyes.
An almost childlike mix of appreciation and wonder and excitement. But there was nothing childlike about the way her pupils dilated and her lips parted. It was pure woman and utterly irresistible.
The first time they’d kissed Oliver wasn’t quite sure how it had happened. One moment they’d been standing there and the next they’d been all over each other. But this time he savoured every microsecond, dipping his head with infinite slowness to bring their lips into contact. Maybe he was giving Bella the chance to pull away if she didn’t want this. More likely, he was finding the exquisite torture of delayed gratification too alluring. And Bella didn’t pull away. She didn’t close her eyes either. She was watching him and it was like looking into an emotional mirror. He could swear she wanted this just as much as he did.
The built-in seating was more than wide enough to serve as a bed and, if the cushions were past their use-by date, neither of them noticed or cared. Like the kiss, Oliver slowed things down as far as he was physically capable of doing. He undressed Bella, touching her skin as though it was the first time. In a way, it was. They had been so inflamed by passion last time, he’d barely noticed detail. He was noticing now. How smooth her skin was. How delicious it tasted. How just one touch of his tongue could make her nipples tighten into the most amazingly hard buttons that begged to be softened by enough extra attention.
And the way Bella responded to his touch was like nothing Oliver had ever experienced. If his first encounter with her had been the most mind-blowingly exciting sex he’d ever had, this was the most tender. Did Bella feel it touching something so deep in her soul that he couldn’t even recognise what it was?
Maybe she did.
Maybe that was why he saw those tears in her eyes when he held her gently as they finally returned to reality.
Not that he got a chance to talk to her about it.
‘It’s almost dark,’ Bella murmured. ‘It must be getting late.’ She pulled away from him. ‘I’m getting late. I’m supposed to be at Kate’s by now. There’s so much to do with only a few days till the wedding.’
She was still moving as she spoke, getting off the wide seat and leaving a space that felt unbearable empty beside him. She was getting dressed at the speed of light despite having to search for items in the dimness of a dying day.
And then she was gone and Oliver groaned softly. He probably wouldn’t see her for days now with the chaos of the last-minute wedding preparations.
He wanted to see her again.
Soon.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
IT WAS a perfect day for a beach wedding.
The perfect beach to be having it on.
In the glow of a setting sun, the huge rock formation that looked like a crouching lion was a dramatic backdrop to the long stretch of sand left glistening by the retreating tide. Other people using the beach were keeping a respectful distance and the waves were far enough away for the occasional surfer to be nothing more than a part of this wonderful setting.
The small crowd of guests were standing in a semi-circular group, leaving a
sandy track that had been strewn with rose petals for the bride and her bridesmaid to walk though. One guest was not standing, however. A fold-out chair had been positioned at the front, on the edge of the circle, to give Lady Dorothy Dawson a clear view of the proceedings. She was wearing a silk dress with a matching jacket and hat in shades of gold that would not have looked out of place in a gathering of the Royal family. Bella had been there when she’d tried on the outfit and chosen her accessories last week. The garnet necklace she wore was perfect for her outfit. It was just a shame that she couldn’t wear the matching ring because the joints of her fingers were still misshapen. Beside her, of course, stood her son, wearing the dinner suit Bella had seen once before that made him look so impossible gorgeous. So unattainable.
That unattainability had been an illusion, though, hadn’t it? If things were only different now—if she hadn’t been so irresponsibly stupid, she might have had a chance of having a perfect ending to the love story she was currently living. Oliver might have been unable to help himself falling in love with her and he would have swept her up into his arms and carried her off into the sunset of a blissful future.
But this was real life and there was an emotional storm coming. Painful accusations and probably lots of tears. Quite possibly, there was going to be hostility that she would have to deal with for the rest of her life—on a regular basis—if Oliver insisted on having a part in his child’s life.
It was both frightening and heartbreaking.
But Bella couldn’t afford to think about that right now. Not on Kate’s special day. By tacit agreement, the subject hadn’t been mentioned so far today. This ceremony was about a romance that had led to a happy ending and it marked the beginning of the future she would have chosen for her favourite person on earth.
Instead, as Bella let her senses soak in Oliver’s presence, she remembered that perfect time with him in the summer house. A memory that she could hold close to her heart for a lifetime. Such bitter-sweet, heartbreakingly tender lovemaking, knowing that it was the last time. Knowing that she could be perfectly truthful in telling him that a condom wasn’t necessary. She could never have had that time if he’d known that she was pregnant.
And Lady Dorothy wouldn’t be here, beaming with happiness, either.
She’d been right not to drop the bombshell but the timer was ticking so loudly now Bella was afraid it was going to spoil her pleasure in this wonderful celebration. She just had to make sure it didn’t spoil anyone else’s pleasure.
She walked slowly down the sand aisle behind her beloved aunt.
Kate was wearing a simple, ivory dress that suited her perfectly. Slim fitting to her hips from where it fell in feminine swirls, it had a low, cowl neckline and no sleeves. Her hair was only partly confined by a pretty twist that took hair away from her face and into an intricate knot at the back of her head. The rest fell in a glorious, dark ripple down her back but was held in place enough by the twist to cope with any sea breeze. Tiny white flowers woven into the twisted section stood out against the dark gleam of her hair like jewels.
The dress was fitted enough to show the slight swell of Kate’s belly. Bella’s dress was just as clingy but it would be weeks before she started to show and she loved this dress, which was the colour of the sea on a sunny day. Kate had said it was a perfect match for both Bella’s eyes and the beach setting.
Lady Dorothy and Oliver had sworn they could cope so Bella had stayed with Kate last night so that they could spend the day together to prepare for this important event. There had been appointments at the nail salon and hairdresser and it had been like she had been getting ready for her own wedding.
As they reached the end of the petal-strewn aisle and Kate moved to stand beside Connor in front of the celebrant, Bella could feel Oliver’s stare like a touch on her skin. Her head turned of its own accord.
Had she known that he would think she looked beautiful? Desirable? She couldn’t deny that she’d hoped he would and his expression now was exactly what she’d dreamed it might be.
The colour that Bella could feel warming her cheeks was more than pleasure. Or even mirrored desire. Part of it was a touch of guilt because she knew perfectly well that it hadn’t been purely for Lady Dorothy’s benefit or even for the chance of one more night with Oliver that she’d delayed the inevitable confession.
She’d wanted this.
She’d wanted Oliver to see her looking this good. Dressed for a wedding. To see him dressed in that suit again.
She’d wanted the fantasy of being able to close her eyes for a moment during the wedding vows and imagine what it would be like if the words were being spoken by herself. And Oliver.
The vows were simple. Heartfelt declarations of love and the promises to nurture that love for as long as they both lived. The guests were close enough to hear every word and to see the tender kiss exchanged as the vows ended. And nobody missed the way Kate took her hands, still enclosed by both of Connor’s, to rest against her belly before they finally broke their first kiss as man and wife.
The wedding celebrant, a middle-aged woman called Sarah, smiled mistily.
‘Connor and Kate are celebrating their love for each other in more ways than getting married today,’ she told the guests. ‘They’d like to share with you all the joy they have in expecting their first baby. They’ve become more than simply man and wife in this lovely ceremony. They’ve become a family.’
A surprised, delighted murmur came from the guests. Bella was close enough to hear Lady Dorothy’s excited whisper.
‘Oh… Oliver, isn’t that wonderful? A darling baby. How perfect.’
Kate and Connor were smiling at each other in a way that shut out anybody else on the planet. Sarah was raising her voice to be heard over the murmurs.
‘Please enjoy this time on Piha beach while some photographs are being taken. Kate and Connor will be joining you in the marquee for the picnic supper very soon.’
The group began to move now, dispersing in different directions. Some went to find people they knew to talk to. Others started making their way to the marquee set up by the spit-roast company that was catering the low-key wedding breakfast. Other people were staying to watch the photographer, who was ushering Kate and Bella into position for the first shots.
‘Just a couple,’ he said. ‘I want to get the bride and groom near the waves while the light’s this good. We’ll do any family shots later.’
From the corner of her eye Bella could see her parents being dragged towards the food. Her younger brothers and sisters were pretty much grown up now but one of her brothers was a poor medical student and the baby of the family was only nineteen and still a bottomless pit when it came to food. She watched them laughing and jostling each other and felt like she was standing on another planet. Her siblings still had no idea she had ruined her plans for her exciting overseas adventures, not to mention getting married to a man she loved, who loved her and settling down to the business of creating her own family.
With Kate’s agreement, Bella had put off telling her parents when they’d arrived yesterday as well. They both knew that the support would be there when Bella needed it but it would be a shock that needed absorbing and if Bella told them now, it would totally overshadow any joy they had in being a part of Kate’s wedding. And even though they had no idea that the father of her baby was present at the wedding, the Dawsons were bound to pick up the impression that something was going on. Having all the most important people in her life in one place like this was incredibly stressful. Bella would have loved to have been heading for a glass or two of champagne herself but she couldn’t and only two other people there knew why. What if somebody offered her a glass and guessed why she was refusing it?
She could almost hear one of her twin sisters laughing and saying, ‘Good heavens, Bella, that’s not like you. You’re not pregnant or something, a
re you?’
And what if Oliver happened to be standing nearby?
Oh…help. How on earth was she going to get through the next few hours?
The photographer was now leading Kate and Connor away for their photographs and Bella found herself standing alone. She could see Oliver preparing to help his mother get up from the low chair. How long were they planning to stay? Long enough for her to have to introduce them to her parents? Her mother had said she was keen to meet Bella’s intriguing new employer.
Bella could feel the tension escalating rapidly as she saw that Oliver was starting to walk towards her. Lady Dorothy was still sitting in the chair, staring towards the sea, apparently watching the bride and groom have their photographs taken.
Turning her head away with something like panic bubbling within, Bella saw that the happy couple were walking hand in hand, close to the waves. Their heads were bent so close together they seemed to be touching and the photographer was behind them, capturing the tender moment that had the dramatic backdrop of Lion Rock.
A very real moment.
And here she was, living a lie. She’d been so determined to stay inside that fantasy bubble for as long as she could and Kate had been right. The longer she was leaving it, the harder it was getting. She’d made it so much worse by allowing herself that extra time with Oliver. Lying to him yet again, albeit by omission. The kind of lie that had always seemed to be far less of a sin. Until now.
Bella hated herself right then. She deserved whatever was coming and it was coming soon, she could tell. Good grief, she felt like she might explode at any moment.
And Oliver was simply smiling at her.
‘You look gorgeous,’ he said.
‘Thank you.’ Her throat was so tight it was hard to get any words out.
‘You’re about to lose this, though.’ He reached out and his hand touched her hair. Bella had a hairstyle that matched Kate’s, with a twisted section to hold the loose length in place. Tiny, blue flowers and been wound into her hair to match her dress but one of them must have worked loose. And Oliver was fixing it?
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