by McKay, KC
The rest of the weekend comprised of barhopping — or going on a pub crawl, as the Scots called it — but I was too afraid to pick up another woman for fear of failure. I'd get over the trauma and hoped Charlotte would too. I was back on the ship Monday morning; another year older, but with no more notches on the bedpost.
Chapter 9
Everyone from the shop sat in the office smoking and joking while we waited for Bob to come back from the supervisors' meeting. He finally staggered in looking like revived road kill. A porcupine no less.
He instructed Petersen to get out of his chair with a simple jerk of his head to one side. Once the seat became vacant, he plopped down, groaned, and slammed his feet on the desk. "Chambers, take the supervisors' meeting. I'm whacked."
I looked around the shop like there might be another Chambers he was talking to. No such gift. "What do you mean, take the meeting? I thought you just came from there."
"Well, you thought wrong. Get your ass down there."
"I don't know what to do." Panic etched my voice and I wanted him to hear that. Meetings were out of my scope. "Besides, what would I say about why I'm there and not you?"
He pulled his glasses down and peered at me over the top of the lenses. "Say, 'Look, Lieutenant. I'm the assistant supervisor. The real supervisor is down on a boat saving it from sinking. So bite me.'" He remained straight-faced and rubbed his temples. "Goddamn Jack Daniel's. Now go." He pointed to the door. "And don't drop me in the shit like you did last time," he called out as I left.
I trudged up the stairwell and headed for the division office, readjusting my shirt along the way to ensure it was tucked in properly and I looked somewhat official. Hopefully I'd sit in the meeting quietly and return without incident. I took a deep breath as I entered the office. Stepping into the inner sanctum, I noticed Lt. Novak and Master Chief Woods each sat at their respective desks. The five supervisors from the other shops in the division stood around the space or sat in one of the few extra chairs. All eyes fell on me as I found a place against the wall. No other assistants were there.
"You're late," Master Chief barked. "We start at zero-seven-thirty. Not zero-seven-thirty-fucking-eight. You've missed half the meeting and you don't have a clue what you're supposed to be doing today."
I looked at my watch for no other reason than to buy some time. "Umm…"
"Where's Clark?" Novak asked, breaking me out of my trance.
I much preferred her purr to Master Chief's growl. "Umm… he said he had some important business on one of the subs. He sends his apologies."
"Sends his apologies?" Her eyebrows pinched the top of her nose. "What does he think this is, a freakin' dinner party? Tell Clark I want to see him when he gets back from whatever it is that was so important he couldn't grace us with his presence. Comprende?"
"Yes, ma'am," I mumbled. Uh-oh. Clark was going to think I set him up and ratted him out. I needed a big screw up to get me out of this responsibility thing. It didn't suit me and I didn't want it.
"Chambers was still late, JG. Are you gonna bust his ass or you want me to?" Master Chief strained his arm to reach his back.
I cringed at the JG cum Junior Grade insult again, even though it had nothing to do with me. Master Chief knew the rules and had over twenty-eight years in, while Novak only had around four. But she was the boss and that's the way it was. I didn't like seeing her belittled.
Novak held her palm up. "Thank you, Master Chief, I'll deal with it. And it's Lieutenant, if you don't mind, not JG." She gave him a purposeful glare.
"Whatever you say, boss." Master Chief reached into his bottom drawer and pulled out his backscratcher. He stretched his arm over his shoulder and let out a satisfying groan as he dug the claw up and down to the middle of his back.
"Petty Officer Chambers?" She raised her manicured eyebrows. "Did the sleep fairy throw some extra dust your way last night?"
I looked at Novak. Her eyes were pinned on Master Chief and the corners of her mouth twitched.
"No, ma'am. I have no excuse. I'm incompetent as an assistant supervisor. You're right. I shouldn't be in this position. I'll have my resignation on your desk first thing tomorrow morning." I looked at her, hoping she'd just relieve me of my duties then and there and not tell Master Chief to take care of me.
She leaned her head to one side. "Chambers, I have neither asked for, nor would I accept, your letter of resignation. Besides, that's not how things are done in this man's, or woman's, Navy. You cannot quit. Your fate lies with me. I will decide—" Her jaw dropped and her focus was no longer on me.
I followed her eyes across the room. Master Chief sat scratching his upper lip with his backscratcher, then hung the claw on his bottom lip.
Novak gawked at him wide-eyed, her mouth still agape.
I looked back and forth between the two of them. Novak was dumbstruck. Master Chief was just… dumb.
I fought the urge to laugh myself. "Hey, that's a pretty neat scratcher you got there, Master Chief. Gets those hard to reach places, huh?"
Novak let out an uncontrolled giggle-snort.
"What's it to you, Chambers?" He barked.
I smiled at him, then at the Lieutenant. "Nothing. I just know how itches can sometimes drive you nuts."
Novak covered her mouth and continued to let out uncontrolled snorts of laughter.
Woods pointed the scratcher at me. "Fuck you, Chambers. And if you're late again, I'm gonna stick this thing up your ass." A massive wave of wrinkles creased his forehead.
Novak swiveled her chair around and faced the wall. "Be careful what you wish for, Master Chief," she called out. Her shoulders jerked as she unsuccessfully fought more laughter.
After a few moments, she turned back around. "Sorry." Her cheeks were red and evidence of laughter tears still soaked the corners of her eyes. She continued to fight a smile, but failed. She cleared her throat several times and tugged at her shirt, straightening it out in an effort to recompose herself and look like 'The Boss.' She conducted the rest of the meeting professionally and gave us our instructions for the day.
"Right," she said in a tone of conclusion. "Everyone out except for Petty Officer Chambers. And close the door behind you, Master Chief."
Woods gave an affirmative grunt as he left with the supervisors.
We simultaneously looked at Master Chief's desk. The backscratcher lay there in plain view.
Novak wiggled her finger in that direction. "Chambers, put that damn thing away."
"Yes, ma'am." I put it in his bottom drawer and turned back to her.
She nodded to a chair opposite her desk. "Sit down." She reached in her drawer, pulled out a Kleenex and wiped her eyes, still fighting the odd giggle.
I knew why I was singled out. No doubt she was about to launch into me for the joke on Master Chief. I followed her instruction and sat, then waited to find out how good of an ass-chewer she was. The silence had a shrinking effect and the walls of the room closed in. I sat wondering if cock hairs would come up in our conversation and hoped it would finish with her saying, 'You're fired.' I couldn't get fired from the Navy, just the position.
She sat up straighter and put on a no-nonsense expression. "You're not happy in a supervisory role, are you?"
I was pleased she got my point. "No, ma'am."
"Tough." She leaned in, resting her elbows on her desk. "The pipe shop is the worst run shop in the division, and that's because of Clark. I have a feeling he doesn't always play by the rules, but I can't pin anything on him. I need someone to catch him in the act of doing something wrong or illegal. Someone I can trust." She paused and gave me a long glare.
"Yeah, right." I couldn't remember anyone ever putting trust in me. I was usually the trusting soul who got kicked in the metaphorical balls.
"I've seen you hold yourself together in front of the PMA, and I've seen your work ethic on the Ford. The other members of the shop are pretty loyal to Clark. That's why I requested an outsider to be transferred here as C
lark's assistant. You're not here by chance, Chambers."
"So, I'm like double-oh-seven, huh?" I made my hand into the shape of a pistol and aimed my finger at the opposite wall. "Ka-boom."
She cracked a smile. "Hardly. I wanted a new face from the Pacific fleet to minimize the chance of anybody knowing Clark, or the PMA for that matter. They've both spent their entire careers on the East Coast. So I contacted the Pacific fleet admin office and asked for a second class petty officer. And I wanted a less than perfect sailor."
If she wanted to embarrass me, it worked. I knew I wasn't perfect, but it wasn't necessary for her to highlight my shortcomings. "How would I fit in? We both know I'm far from being the perfect sailor."
"Clark would never trust anyone with good annual evaluations. Not in his shop. He'd find a way to get rid of them, or make sure they never got too close to any of his underhanded dealings. Your evals are, shall we say, less than impressive."
"So you figure my less than impressiveness will match Clark's incompetence, he'll confide stuff in me, and I rat him out. Is that the idea?"
"Something like that. I need someone he'll trust." She blew her breath up so her bangs fluttered. "I spoke to a Captain Daley. He said—"
I jerked forward in my chair. "Wait a minute! Captain Maurice Daley?" I wished I had a habit like biting my fingernails or something because I could have used a really good gnaw in a self-harming kind of way.
She shrugged. "Not sure, but he said he knew you. You must have made quite an impression on him. He said you'd relish life in the Scottish Highlands."
That son of a bitch! I shook my head. "He was the commanding officer on my last ship. He hated my guts. No wonder I'm in this—"
She raised her eyebrows. "Shithole?"
"Yes, ma'am. Shithole. Not only a shithole, but a godforsaken shithole." I leaned my head back and looked at the ceiling. "Ma'am, I should be in the Philippines right now, not here in this—"
"Shithole?"
I nodded. "Yes, ma'am. In the Philippines they really do love me, no shit. Girls in Singapore are waiting for Mister Right." I poked my chest with my thumb. "And that's me. Mister Right — right up their—"
She held her hand up. "Yes, I know, Petty Officer Chambers. You've made yourself abundantly clear." She let out a deliberate breath. "The good Captain did say that you were about to go on a WestPac and he'd have to pull a few strings to get you here, but said it would be his pleasure." Her eyes softened and she clasped her hands in front of her on the desk. "So why the animosity?"
I let out a long breath. "He thought I slept with his underage daughter, but I didn't."
She half-laughed. "Part of your goodwill program?"
"Ha ha," I snipped. "So that's how I wound up in this—"
"Shithole, I know. I need some help here, Chambers," she pleaded.
I fidgeted in my seat. "I don't know, ma'am. I'm not really cut out for this—"
"You know, I could just order you to do it and that would be the end of it, but I would rather you did it willingly." Her voice had a gentle tone about it, yet she spoke firmly. It was an odd combination and it made me want to please her.
I buried my forehead in my hand and massaged my eyes.
"I need a man on the inside, Zac. You help me out and maybe I won't have to tell Master Chief where his backscratcher's been."
I looked up and she wore a big grin.
She pointed at me as her smile straightened. "And if you ever make genital jokes again while he has that damn thing dangling in his mouth I'm going to personal hang your butt from the yardarm."
We looked at each other solemnly for a moment, then burst out laughing.
In addition to all the obvious reasons, she was just too cute to say no to. It would give me a chance to have private conversations with her, which I would enjoy. And yeah, if she could keep Master Chief off my back, I could keep her up to speed on Bob's bending or breaking of the rules. And she needed me. That made me feel important.
"On one condition, ma'am."
"You're hardly in a position to make demands, double-oh-seven, but go ahead. Try me." She leaned back in her chair.
"I'd just like to know one thing. What's your first name?"
She smiled. "Darcy."
Chapter 10
Weeks had gone by and Clark hadn't done anything I could rat him out for. He wasn't a poster boy for integrity, but there wasn't anything drastic enough that I could give Lt. Novak, or Delicious Darcy as I now sometimes thought of her, to make her proud of me.
Sparks erupted under the sounds of a grinder as I walked into the shop. I shielded my eyes and looked to see who was making the racket. It was Bob. Once he stopped, I walked over to where he was working.
I pulled out a cigarette and lit up. "What's up?"
He took off the face shield and looked around, making sure we were alone. "Dipshit McClure can't get the length of pipe we need in time to fix the Thomas. We have to be done working on it by tomorrow, and we got to get this pipe bent and installed before then. We didn't have any pipe long enough, so I welded this together to look like one piece. I'm just cleaning it up." He ran his hand over the bare metal. "Smooth as silk," he said. "QA will never know."
"Wait a minute. You're not seriously thinking about trying to pass this off as one piece of pipe?" My stomach knotted at the mere thought of the idea. "It won't be strong enough."
He put his arm around me. "Look. The specification calls for one continuous piece of pipe. We don't have it, but I just made it. QA has to inspect the bend, just don't let them look too closely at the rest of it."
I held my hand up. "You mean to tell me… you welded together an illegal piece of pipe, and want to install it on the boat without the proper testing?"
He nodded. "Yep."
"No QA inspection or works package for the weld procedure?"
He shook his head. "Nope."
I folded my arms across my chest. "You're crazy. No way. I'm not doing it."
He nodded some more. "I think you'll find you will." He pointed to himself. "Me, boss." He turned his finger toward me. "You, shit Indian. Now make me peace pipe and get QA to sign it off, or you have totem pole shoved up your ass."
I had him. He was ordering me to do something unethical and dangerous - not to mention totally illegal.
He pushed his glasses up. "Oh, and if you get any wise ideas to fuck it up so QA won't pass it, I'll say I left you in charge of the job and you were the one doing unauthorized repairs. And who do you think they'll believe? Me, the boss, or you, my little shit Indian?" He slap-tapped my cheek.
Charlotte came slinking over to where we stood. "Hi, guys." She redirected her gaze toward me. "Somebody die, Chambers?"
I gave her a puzzled look. "No, why?"
She shrugged. "Don't know? Just wondering if your flag is flyin' at half mast — as usual." Her look was even sharper than her words. She looked at Bob. "So, Clark. How you doing on that job on the Thomas? Ready for me to inspect the bend yet?"
Bob smacked me on the shoulder. "Talk to Chambers. He's in charge of the job." He walked away and scurried up the stairs leaving me to stare down Charlotte.
She pointed to the bogus pipe. "I see you got the piece there. You ready to bend it?"
I took a drag of my cigarette. "We may have a bit of a problem, Charlotte." I searched her face for signs of sympathy, but didn't see any.
"If you're in charge of this job, Chambers, I'm sure it's going to go tits up. Call me when you're ready. I'll go get my reject stamp." She turned and walked away — shaking that cute ass and sending waves of regret through me that I never nailed her. For more than one reason.
***
It would be my word against Clark's. I needed to see my ally.
Novak sat at her desk doing paperwork when I entered. She looked up and pointed to the chair opposite her desk. "I'll be right with you, Chambers."
I sat down. "Thank you, ma'am." I crossed my legs and ran my hand down the pants leg of my dungarees. I
looked over the light blue walls admiring pictures of various submarines cutting through the ocean. My favorite was one of a sub breaking through the ice at the North Pole.
She eventually set her pen down and focused on me. "What's up, Chambers?"
"It's Clark, ma'am. He wants me to push an illegal piece of pipe through QA and install it on the Thomas. The blueprints call for one continuous pipe four feet long. Clark welded two pieces together to look like one and wants me to sneak it past QA without them knowing." I wanted to smoke but she didn't have any ashtrays in the office. "Clark warned me not to, but I think I'll have to screw the bend up on purpose so it fails. But I don't think it will pass no matter what I do. Charlotte— I mean, Kemp, will fail me no matter what."
Her eyebrows pinched together. "Why would she do that?"
Crap. I meant to just think that last part. I didn't realize I said it aloud until Darcy challenged me. "Umm… she made a pass at me a while back, but I rejected her advances. You know, professional ethics and all that."
"I see." She leaned back. "Kemp's a pretty girl. You must have great restraint."
"Ma'am, I've been restraining myself ever since I came here." Little did she know my comment was a reference to her.
She smiled briefly before her face showed evidence of deep concentration. She pinched the sides of her lip together making it bunch up in the middle. I had to keep focused on the situation at hand as it was quite sexy the way she squeezed that luscious bottom lip. A brief lapse of professional concentration could have led me straight into the devil's playground.
"Right." She stopped playing with her delicate features and rested her arms on the desk. "Do your best to make a good bend, one that will pass. If Petty Officer Kemp fails it, all hell will break loose. And if she compromises her integrity to get back at one of my men, I'll nail her butt to the cross. Then, I'll insist the whole pipe be checked and no doubt we'll discover Clark's deceit." She offered a satisfied smile. "Good work, Chambers."