He bit his lips and waited for me to understand what he was trying to say.
When it finally hit me, my eyes widened with joy. “Really? You’re here for a year? Jackson!”
He started laughing when I suddenly threw my arms around him. “Well, I’m here for as long as you will have me.”
“Yes!”
“Yes to what?” he chuckled.
“Yes to everything! Stay! I will be the best damn tour guide!”
He put his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. “I know you will.”
I couldn’t stop the smile on my face. Wrapped up in Jackson’s arms, and with my entire family just outside, I realized things were finally going to be okay. Sure, I’d still have a few rough days in the future, but I knew I’d get through them. I was going to get through them because of the people I was surrounded by, the ones who loved me unconditionally. I had finally found a reason to live again.
A Note From The Author
The moment I started writing the Broken series, I knew I was going to be sharing my darkest secret with all of you. Because of this, publication for All That Matters took longer than I’d hoped. The two reasons that slowed me down were: one, I wanted to get the story right; and two, I was hell nervous to be sharing the one story I’ve tried so hard to repress.
I’ve mentioned on various occasions that Harper and Jackson’s story is special to me. And it is. ATM deals with some heavy topics that people are often too afraid to speak about. I know this from a personal experience. Let me tell you my story, and then I’ll explain why I felt like I needed to share Harper and Jackson’s.
When I was a child, around seven to nine years old (I can’t remember the exact age), I was sexually molested. We were at a train park in my hometown for my dad’s work family Christmas party. It happened when my younger sister and I were riding on the miniature train ride and we were seated up the very back of the last carriage—in front of an adult employee who was meant to be supervising. You know the feeling you get when something isn’t right? I remember feeling that, and not allowing my sister to sit behind me because of it.
I still cringe every time I think about the man’s arms around my waist during the ride and then the way he moved his hands up my skirt and inside of my underwear. All I could do was sit there unable to move. I knew what he was doing was wrong but I was scared and I didn’t know what to do. As soon as the ride ended, I raced back over to my parents, with my sister, and never went anywhere near the trains again.
I was too ashamed and too frightened to tell my parents about the incident. Right up until this day they still have no idea what I went through. And because I was determined to keep what happened to me to myself, my behavior changed drastically as a result. I wasn’t the most well behaved child to start off with, but over the years that followed, especially during my teenage ones, my behavior worsened. Around my friends I was a normal, happy girl, and school was where I preferred to be. I mastered hiding my real feelings and only at home did it ever come out. On the inside I was angry. I rebelled against my parents, my relationship with my sister suffered and I constantly started arguments with her, and whenever I was left alone I was always feeling lost and empty.
I was seventeen the first time I opened up. After a few drinks, I shared my secret to my best friend. She listened and told me it was going to okay, while I cried. It felt nice to finally tell someone, but it wasn’t until a few years later that I finally realized talking about it was the only way I’d start to truly overcome it.
I’m not cured, I don’t think I will ever be, I still suffer from trust issues and mild anxiety attacks from time to time, but I have learned some important things over the years. Sexual abuse is common. It happens right under our noses whether we like it or not. And while it makes me sick to think someone could do those sorts of things to anyone, let alone a child, it’s hard to stop it from happening.
Am I still angry that it happened to me? Yes and no. Yes because no child EVER deserves to go through something like that. But no, because had it not been me, it would’ve been my younger sister and that is something I would never be able to forgive myself for.
If I could change one thing, it would be that I wish I’d been brave enough to say something at the time and hopefully prevented him from doing this to somebody else.
I wanted to write the Broken series because the truth is, we all have secrets and we each have many different ways of dealing with them. And while Harper’s story is an over dramatized version of my own, it pains me to know similar situations have happened to people all over the world. I wanted to share her story especially because I hope it will inspire other survivors to speak up. I want to remind you that you’re not alone, and that there is a light in the darkness. Mine was the love and support of my closest friends. I know if I hadn’t had met them my life would be very different to what it is today.
Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you. <3
If you or someone you know needs assistance/information regarding sexual abuse, please contact http://rainn.org/get-help/sexual-assault-and-rape-international-resources, http://www.pandys.org/crisissupport.html
For your local suicide hotline number, please visit http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
Acknowledgements
I always have so many things I want to say on this page but once I get here I never know what to write. I’ll start by saying that I’m incredibly thankful for the friends I have. The few I managed to find the courage and share my darkest secret with and who never once thought to change their opinion of me. I love you all many times to the moon and back.
To the girls at Hot Tree Editing: Kristin Kim for editing, Becky Johnson for proofreading, and beta ladies- Teri, Michelle, Cassia and Andrea. THANK YOU for taking the time and turning my novel into nothing short of amazing, and for all the little comments that made me giggle. I had so much fun working with you girls and I can’t wait to do it all over again.
To Tash and Rose from Forever Me Romance, the moment I met you I knew it was going to be a lasting friendship. The moment we downed tequila shots cemented that thought. I heart you girls so much. Thank you for everything you have done.
To my friend and sister from another mister, Melissa Pascoe, because no acknowledgement of mine could go ahead without her name on it. Your ongoing support and constant demand to write quicker is what keeps me going.
To my real sister, Sherry, who immediately text after she read the story to make sure I was okay. Everyone should have a sister like you and I am thankful everyday that I do.
To Jon and Blake. Jon, who nagged me enough that I gave in and changed one of my characters names. And Blake, because of his help on a more suitable word for a manuscript I have yet to publish. I named a character after you too.
Lastly, to all my readers, bloggers and fellow authors. I have grown so much since publishing my first novel. Without all the support and encouragement from each of you, this incredible adventure would have been cut short. Thank you for your love and friendship. Xx
About The Author
Michelle Congdon resides in Sydney, Australia. She has a Dalmatian named Jett, who to this day continues to hold an 8 year grudge against her after she had to leave him with her parents when she moved to the big city—this only proves animals are much like their owners. Michelle enjoys reading books of all sorts of genres, watching way too many movies and TV shows (and Disney cartoons), singing out aloud to her favorite hits, and going on adventures involving food and travel. Michelle is loud, talks a lot and shares an ever-growing list of fictional husbands with a friend. From when she was a small girl, she has always had an overactive imagination and has tried to put it to good use by sharing her stories with anyone willing to listen.
Connect with Michelle:
Twitter: @MishCongdon
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MissMichelleCongdon
Website: http://www.michellecongdon.com
Goodreads: ht
tps://www.goodreads.com/MichelleCongdon
Email: mailto:[email protected]
All That Matters Page 22