“I understand you are overwhelmed–”
“Harmony is talking now and she’s not finished. You think you understand, but what you’re doing is using words to replace emotion instead of reinforce it. You say you understand because it you expect it of yourself. How can I accept you back when you don’t assimilate what you’ve done wrong? You haven’t felt the remorse, and suffered the repentance that paves the way to forgiveness.” I scowl. “You haven’t even said sorry.”
“I suffer repentance.” He corrects that to, “Have suffered it.”
“In the space of a few hours you’ve suffered repentance for causing me more pain than I’ve ever felt?”
He opens his mouth to protest, but his brow furrows.
He’s finally listening.
“Has anything been ripped away from you because of someone else? Or have you sacrificed everything you were for them? Have you cared so deeply your heart ached, only for the person you gave every ounce of trust to betray you in the same breath they promise to love you?”
Daniel steps back.
He takes another fumbling step as if a force grows from my body and pushes him away.
Face snowstorm-white, he rubs a hand over his heart. “It hurt when Anya chose to follow her son in death over life with me. It hurt when Ben chose Lee over me.” His expression is wretched. “Perhaps I know what you mean.”
I shake my head slowly. “It’s not the same. Ben and Lee, probably all your people still love you even though you were a complete dick. They’ve accepted you for what you are, and will give you forgiveness the moment you ask for it.”
“They punished me for wanting to protect them and our way of life.”
“Your family was right to punish you. Even so, that punishment could never hurt like what Daddy has done to me.”
This is not a pissing contest as to whose family sucks the most, but I have to drag the miserable stuff up to get him to see sense.
I’m a Pack wolf with no Pack.
It’s not his fault, I chose that, but I sacrificed everything for him, including my hard won freedom, and he gave it all up.
“My family drained me near death.” His voice is quiet with dread “My legs were mutilated.” He rubs them hard to check they’re still functioning rather than ghost limbs. “Oh, my pride could withstand such reprimand from the Child.” He bows his head in reverence. “I rebelled and failed. It was Lee’s right to dispense justice not just as a Bride, but as our Queen.”
“Respectful.”
“Rationality. I do not lack it, sweetling.” Resentment flits across his face. “Despite what you and others think.”
I look down at my bound body. Back at him. “We’ll polish that gemstone another time.”
“But to just throw me away like I was nothing.” Purple-veined lids shutter glowing eyes. He grips the bedpost and rests his forehead against it, afflicted with a revival of helplessness. “They dumped me on enemy land to be savaged by a Pack of dogs. Lest you forget this has all been far removed from pleasant for me.”
Unbelievable.
I was right there with him, empathizing, and then that arrogance. Pack of dogs? Does he forget I’m royalty to said dogs? That even as an outcast, I always will be by blood? How obliviously insulting can a body get? So steeped in his own condescension he can’t hear how offensive he’s being. “You got what you deserved. You were an obnoxious prick about Ben choosing Lee, and you lashed out at the people closest to you like a spoilt pup.”
His head bumps the wood. He holds it with both hands wringing. “I do not deny I overreacted to a perceived slight.”
My mouth drops. He’s demented in the worst way. “Overreacted? That’s how you’re choosing to describe the attempted murder of your leaders mate?”
“Why not? I acted impulsively in anger. I was overwhelmed. Driven by the need to exact vengeance on the couple destroying everything I’d worked for. Overreact is the apt word.”
He really is trying to rationalize what he did.
“You’re not taking responsibility for your actions. You’re attempting to explain them away. You. Were. Wrong.”
The wood creaks as his hands twist. “I was beleaguered in heartache.”
“You deserved your ass kicked as punishment for your crimes. I am banished for standing by my mate.” I writhe in the bed. Not a lust induced undulation, but a pissed off flailing that’s as useless as this heart-to-heart. “My people no longer recognise me as part of them. I’ve lost my culture, my friends, my family. Everything. You repaid this gift by screwing me over the first chance you got. That is betrayal. That is pain.”
He releases the bedpost and rests his fists on the bed. The muscles over his ribs contract as he hunches over.
“You do not need a Pack anymore.” He sounds unhappy at the mention. “You have me.”
I glare at the claret canopy overhead.
If I weren’t so mad, I’d consider the sudden lull ominous. My scalp prickles. I take that as a sign to fix my attention back on the diabolical Vampire who holds me prisoner.
Daniel’s face is stony as he places his hand on my ankle. Artful fingers stroke my skin tenderly, a soothing petting. “I have confessed regret for hurting your feelings.” He grazes his fingernails up my calf to draw circles on my kneecap. His stony expression is replaced with a wicked one. “If you consider my actions from my perspective you’ll forgive me.”
“Doubt it.”
“You might even realise you’d have done it yourself.”
“I’d never be so presumptuous.”
“Presumptuous. That’s four syllables, sweetling. I’m rubbing off on you. Who knows what other traits of mine you might pick up?”
“Nobody could learn to be as conceited as you. No matter how long they spent in your charming company.”
The bed dips as Daniel crawls over me.
“Harmony, be angry. Shout and hit me if you must. I’ll take it. But you will not leave me. I did what I thought was best and I won’t apologize for that. Rather than fighting to alter my way of reasoning – something that is not going to happen – why can you not accept we are different? That we always will be different, and will do things to each other that hurt because of it?” He traces the edge of my hairline with his forefinger. “I don’t want you to change. I find delight in your strange ways. Can you not feel affection for mine?”
“I feel more than affection, Daniel. I love–”
He clasps a hand over my mouth. “I’m not ready to hear it.”
I poke his hand with my tongue until he moves it. “Will you ever be ready to say it?”
He smiles. “I already have.”
“No you haven’t.”
“Silly wolf.”
“Yeah, I have to agree. My ‘silly’ wolf is submissive to you. I’m changing, Daniel. It goes deeper than the blood, so you can’t–” I bite my tongue when tears threaten to fall. “You can’t treat me like this. I’ll disappear. Do you want to spend the years of my life with a shadow of who I am?”
Tensing at the reminder of my short future, he licks away my tears, and brushes a kiss to the corner of my mouth. When he lifts his head his face is gentle. “Our Brides are not subservient the way your instincts drive you to be. They defy us should they need to. You’re allowing your wolf to act like she’s mated to a Lycan male.”
But I remember how he acted when we joined the first time. The possessive way he bent me over held me down and bit my shoulder.
‘That was the wildness in me reacting to the need in you, not some base Lycan trait.’
I grind my teeth together. “Base Lycan trait?”
I despise how easily derision towards my kind comes to him.
Tension returns to his mouth before he forces himself to relax. “These differences between us will not go away because we wish them to.”
Will I ever get him to say sorry? He acts like it’s a physical impossibility for his mouth to form the words. I know he feels remorse, and makes up for mist
akes with his actions, but hearing a sincere apology when he’s said something hurtful would help.
“So I must be the one to change.”
Admittedly, I haven’t accepted that he has to feed off Humans to survive. Not only feed off their blood, but their soul as well.
Is it fair for me to get angry when he mocks the less civilized aspects of my animal nature?
“Why can’t you change too? Stop killing the Humans you feed from and I’ll fight my wolf when she becomes too submissive.”
“Bloodlust is a part of my nature. It demands death to be sated.”
“Relying on my mate to protect me is part of mine.”
He frowns in frustration. “You choose not to accept our differences. I do. You are upset that your wolf is too submissive around me. Since you’re the one forcing change why shouldn’t any sacrifice be on your part?”
“You’re saying you won’t change for me?”
“I’m saying I shouldn’t have to. I don’t expect it of you.” He sighs. “I will react to however you act. If you need protection, and are unable to reason on my level, I will act without your approval to protect you.”
“What if I don’t agree with what you’re doing?”
He shrugs. “I will protect you regardless if you think the method is agreeable.”
“That’s not fair. I thought men from the olden days were all about honour?”
“Tisk, sweetling. You speak of how a man from Ben’s time would act. You’re envisioning a valiant knight with a noble request to protect a damsel. I’m from a time of plundering for war brides. There was no greater honour than having the strength to take all I desired, and crush that which got in my way.”
For a moment, I’m there.
Daniel is a warlord with plaits and warrior beads in his hair. Pinning me to musky animal furs in front of a roaring fire, he looms above. His shadowed face promises the darkest of seductions.
Quivering, the vision leaves me breathless.
I’m starry eyed, simply watching his mouth move before I realise he’s forming actual words with his lips.
“Act as my equal and I will treat you as such,” he says. “Act like a creature that must be leashed and guided–”
“You’re saying that if I was more forceful you would have told me what you were up to?”
“The soonest, sweetling.”
Really? He’d been a question away from becoming a raving monster. Of course I stopped pushing. It’s not like he went easy on me during that emotional outpouring in the bathroom the night before. “That’s not fair. You distracted me with sex and lulled me into a false sense of security to stop my questions.”
“So? It was my prerogative to protect you, and I was doing so. I’m supposed to feel bad because my manipulation worked? Because you lacked the ability to play with fire?”
“This isn’t a game.”
He throws his head back and barks laughter. “Life is nothing but tricks and games. I am a master of the sport.”
“A sick way to see things.”
“I’m too forthright to pretend otherwise.”
“Why bother with anything?”
He runs his finger over my jaw. Narrowed eyes twinkle like diamonds. “I’m cynical not apathetic.”
“Even I’m a game to you.”
“No.” He is abruptly serious. “You are Spring to me. Some beautiful and extraordinary happening of chance I have been blessed with. You’ve given me purpose.” His wandering finger sweeps down the bridge of my nose and taps the tip playfully. “Why would I not use every manipulative ploy I possess to ensure your welfare? You were more focused on my troubles with my people than your own wellbeing. It was apparent you could not think when it came to the subject of us. You refused to contemplate the idea our union was not best for your future, and refused to deal with the reaction of your Pack. When I tried to bring it up you shut me down, and accused me of sidestepping the real issue. In truth, my issues with my people are irrelevant to us as a couple. Damn them to hell, when it comes to you and I.” Hand cutting the air decisively his expression is fierce. “You focused on fixing the rift between me and mine because you didn’t want to watch your old life fall to ruin. You went to such lengths to redirect the pain it was only logical I would accept your Alpha’s conditions regardless of my love for you – knowing you were too green, too delicate to withstand the bitter circumstances, and were likely better off returned to your own kind.” His head tilts to the side as he studies me. “Do you understand? I did what I did because you were unable to deal with what was happening. I made a choice, I hold fast to it, and will not apologize for doing what any male would do.”
I splutter.
Talk about pulling the rug from under someone.
“But that’s what a she-wolf does. She’s submissive to her male and thinks of his welfare before her own. In return he protects her in all things and keeps her close.”
“My energy is leaving your wolf powerless.” He caresses my throat. “That cannot feel good. I worship your wolf because she’s a part of you. Magic is in your blood, but you’re more than just Lycan.” He presses a cool palm to my chest over my hammering heart. “Harmony.” My name is a soft sigh. “It is what you are and should not dictate who you are.”
I blink back tears – enough crying already. I chew my lip, and keep biting until blood wells in the small cuts.
“It’s all I know. It’s not like I was allowed to integrate into the Human world. It was my job to serve the Pack. Since birth I’ve been told what’s expected of me as a female. I’ve waited my whole life to serve a Lycan male.”
Daniel dips his head. I suspect it’s to hide his rage.
I tilt my chin to give access to the blood trickling from my lip.
He ignores the offer. “And you were happy with that?”
All did was complain that I was treated like a child in the Pack.
I longed for freedom.
Why am I crying now I’m banished from that stifling existence?
Satisfied my train of thought is veering in an acceptable direction, Daniel descends to lick the blood from my lip. The firm strokes of his tongue make my throat tighten.
My back arches, muscles straining to be closer to his heavy weight as I bare more skin.
He presses a kiss to the hollow above my collarbone. “My Bride, you can do whatever you wish now.” He chuckles. “At night. With me by your side.”
He’s confident in who he is, and what he wants. That sense of self is a huge attraction – overbearing – but way hot.
‘Nine hundred years of introspection and experience has a way of maturing a mind.’
‘I feel small, but I stand by what I’ve said too.’ I try hard not to pout so he’ll take me seriously. ‘You may be right, but that doesn’t make me wrong.’
He attempts to sigh, but it putters out when he decides pity would serve me no good. “You’re young. You cannot be expected to grasp the complexities that come with a relationship like ours. And I suppose I’m so old I’ve forgotten how to simply love without suspicion or the expectation of heartbreak.”
My choices are to accept him, or fight, and be stuck with a powerless wolf. He’s made it clear he won’t make the mistake of letting me go now (joy!), and I can’t spend my life battling him.
Pointless much?
Rolling my eyes, I fight a smile. “How am I going to put up with you? I’m not sure I can handle the condescension.”
“We’ll make it work. Your energy is pure and your outlook optimistic.” He grins. “These are things I like most about you. It seems to you I condescend when I just know more. I have lived much longer. We’ll balance each other out, and delight in doing so.”
He licks the underside of my jaw with a gruff purring.
Relationship equals sacrifice.
The wolf and I can adjust. He’s demonstrated adjustments for me. Look at the lengths he was driven to just to get me to understand his outlook. He tied me down not to seduce me
with his body, but to encourage communication. Not that I will ever get into such a compromising position ever again. A lesser male would have used the situation to enflame my passions and enslave me with sex. He took a chance to reason with me.
My Daniel has flaws, serious flaws, but he’s a male of deep honour – one worthy of being my mate.
“Smooth talker,” I mumble.
Even my wolf has perked up her ears, and is excited at the prospect of forgiving him.
Daniel and I share a moment of blissful calm, grinning at each other. Together we made it to a plateau of understanding from which we can build a life together. It’ll be hard, but if he stands with me I’ll find the strength to shoulder any burden.
Rolling my hips invitingly, I slide him a seductive look from under my lashes.
His entire body shudders. “What thoughts cross your mind?”
“Now you ask rather than just sweep inside my head?”
He nuzzles my throat. “Will I like what I see?”
Fangs drag across my skin in a tantalizing scrape. I gasp when his thigh slips between my legs and presses firmly.
Daniel’s lips capture mine. He kisses me deeply, tongue delving to swirl against the roof of my mouth.
My stomach makes its desires known.
He sighs. “You hunger.”
Another loud grumble, and this time I feel the pinch in my gut. Denial would be difficult at this point.
Daniel slides off the bed and holds up a palm. “Stay. I’m sure I can find you something. Ben had food brought here for Lee. She’s struggling to let go, and likes the smells and texture of Human food even if she does not feel the need to swallow.”
“Great. I’ll lie here and envision Lee masticating shall I?” He’s halfway to the door before I shake off the lustful haze. “Ahem.” I wave my hands and wriggle my toes. “Um, can you, uh, let me go now?”
Look at that evil smile curling his berry red lips. “I like you this way.”
Then he’s gone, and I’m gaping at the open doorway. Caviller laughter echoes off the stone.
Bite My Love Dark Creature Page 16