Cauldstane

by Gillard, Linda

  Sholto leaned forward and broke a long silence. There was an unexpected tenderness in his voice as he addressed the woman who’d served his family all her working life. ‘Wilma, is there anything you’d like to say to the assembled company? I’m sure I speak for Jenny and Rev. Sheridan when I say we’re all heartily sorry to have to involve you in these proceedings, but I know you very well. I know you’d want to do all you can to free Cauldstane and the MacNabs from what I’m afraid I must call the forces of evil.’ Wilma said nothing, but raised her eyes to regard Sholto with something like adoration. ‘I know things seem pretty grim at the moment, but this is – literally – the darkness before the dawn. I’m confident that between us, we shall overcome all obstacles, but it might be a painful process.’ He paused, then said, ‘Feel free to speak, Wilma, if you so wish. But I must inform you that we believe Meredith’s spirit is present in the room and able to hear what we say and observe what we do.’ Wilma sat up in her chair and gazed round the room in alarm. ‘Don’t be frightened. She has no power to harm us. She’s really no more than a particularly malicious poltergeist, but she’s able to communicate with us via Jenny’s laptop, so whatever you say could elicit some sort of response. Another power cut. Or she might type something nasty on the laptop.’

  Wilma’s lower lip began to quiver. Alec got up, retrieved the claymore from the hearth where he’d set it, and walked round to Wilma’s chair. He crouched down beside her and said, ‘Hold the claymore, Wilma. It will make you feel strong. And while you’re holding it, Meredith cannot harm you. With the sword in your right hand and a minister on your left, you’re unassailable.’ He laid the sword on the table so Wilma could touch the hilt.

  ‘Thank you Mr Alec. You’re very kind. I’d like to say something – if I may.’ She cast an anxious look at Sholto, who nodded.

  ‘Go ahead, Wilma. Say what needs to be said.’

  As Alec returned to his seat, Wilma placed her right palm on the hilt of the claymore. She paused to gather herself, then said, ‘I wish to apologise to you all for any part I have played in prolonging the suffering of the MacNabs. As most of you know, I’ve dedicated my life to serving this family and…’ Wilma lowered her eyes. ‘I have loved Mr Alec and Mr Fergus as if they were my own bairns. I loved and served both Mr MacNab’s wives. All I’ve ever wanted was to make his life run smoothly and happily.’

  Wilma seemed to struggle, then she surveyed the company and continued with a tearful smile. ‘There has been so much love in this family! But I see now there has also been hate. Deceit. And betrayal. I’ve kept the memory of Meredith MacNab in my heart, just as I have cherished the memory of Elizabeth MacNab, my first mistress. But I hereby renounce my misplaced loyalty and affection. I curse the memory of Meredith MacNab and I pray that God will deliver us from this evil enchantment and send her spirit to… wherever it belongs.’

  The wind howled in the chimney and another cloud of smoke enveloped the MacNab men where they sat with their backs to the fire. Sholto began to cough and Zelda got up and opened a window. Leaning back in her chair, Wilma folded her hands in her lap and turned to me. With a nod in the direction of the laptop, she said, ‘What does she have to say to that?’

  ‘Are you sure you want to know, Wilma? She’s abused Sholto and said many dreadful things.’

  ‘I think this is between Mrs MacNab and me now, so I’d like to know what I’m up against. What can she do to me? If she took my life, it’s only something I’d give gladly in the service of the MacNabs. But Mr Alec says she can’t harm me and I believe him. My conscience is clear. I’ve done nothing wrong. But she has betrayed my loyalty – in life and in death.’

  I opened the laptop and looked at the screen. There was no message from Meredith. Had we beaten her?... I was about to share the good news when the cursor stopped winking and letters started to appear.

  Well, that was a nice little speech. I didn’t realise you had it in you, Wilma. But you’ve been a teeny bit economical with the truth. Your devoted service to the MacNabs isn’t quite what it seems, is it? Sholto is and always has been the love of your pathetic little life. Did you think I didn’t know?

  I looked up from the screen and said, ‘Wilma, I think you’d better read this first. Meredith’s written something that, even if it’s true, you might not wish to make public.’

  ‘Read it, Jenny. I have nothing – nothing at all – to hide. If she’s written something that shames me, it’s not true.’

  I read out Meredith’s latest attack. No one moved or spoke until Sholto, visibly shaken, said, ‘Wilma – my dear – is this true?’

  ‘Aye, it is. I’ve never loved another man. But the fact that you didn’t know, Mr Sholto, is proof I’ve never done or said anything to be ashamed of. I never wanted you to know, but since the cat’s out of the bag, I’ll not deny the truth of Mrs MacNab’s words.’ Wilma cast her eyes sideways to the laptop and said with disdain, ‘I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction!’

  ‘But Wilma, if you have indeed always loved me…’ Sholto paused and his blue eyes were bright with tears. ‘Why on earth did you turn down my proposal? You could have been – should have been – the second Mrs MacNab.’

  Zelda made a gulping noise and pulled out her handkerchief. Fergus stared at his father open-mouthed, but Alec watched Wilma, unblinking.

  ‘It’s a decision I’ve never regretted, Mr Sholto. Not until today. After the first Mrs MacNab died, you were in a terrible way. You couldn’t cope. You relied on me to look after the boys and keep things running smoothly. And I think I made a fair job of that.’

  ‘You were magnificent, Wilma. I don’t know how we’d have managed without you.’

  ‘We worked together closely, Mr Sholto, as you know. We became friends, almost. When the worst of your grief was past, it was natural you should want a mother for the boys and someone to help you run Cauldstane. And that’s why you proposed to me. Because I was a suitable candidate for the job. But you didn’t love me, did you?’

  ‘No, Wilma. I didn’t… Not then.’

  It was a moment or two before Wilma could speak. When she did, her voice was low and hoarse with suppressed emotion. ‘I believed there was a higher goal in life than personal happiness. That was the happiness of those I loved. It was clear to me I could still serve you and the boys without being married to you and if I turned you down, it would leave you free to find a woman you truly loved. I believed Meredith Fitzgerald to be that woman. When you announced your engagement, I was pleased because I hoped and believed she’d make you and the boys happy. In that I was deceived, but I meant all for the best. I could never have married a man who didn’t love me, Mr Sholto. I have my pride. And I’d seen how much you loved your first wife, how you grieved for her. I’d had little enough experience of love, but I knew the real thing when I saw it.’

  ‘I was a damned fool!’ Sholto exclaimed. ‘But heaven knows, I’ve paid for my folly. Unfortunately, others have paid for it too. It’s true I didn’t love you when I proposed. Your analysis of my motives was quite correct. It appears you knew me better than I knew myself. I was a fool again when I realised, years ago, after Meredith died, that I did in fact love you. I should have proposed then, but I feared if I did, you might turn me down again and give notice. You see, I thought you’d only stayed on to look after the boys. I didn’t realise…’ Sholto exhaled and shook his head. ‘What a hideous mess...’ Then slowly his expression changed. When he looked up, I saw hope in his eyes. ‘But I’m going to put things right! It’s never too late, is it, to do the right thing? Look here, Wilma, I’d like you to reconsider my offer – ah, but do bear in mind I might not be making you mistress of Cauldstane. If Jenny’s business plans come to naught, our home could be a humble bungalow. But wherever I end my days, I’d be mad to think I could manage without you, even for a week. You’ve bailed me out before and I’m going to have the damn cheek to ask you if you’ll do it again. What do you say?’

  In a very small voice, Wilma said, �
�Before I answer, may I ask one question, Mr Sholto?’

  ‘Oh, please! Sholto.’

  ‘Do you love me, Sholto?’

  ‘Yes, Wilma, I do. With all my heart.’

  ‘Then…’ She glanced nervously at Alec and Fergus who were both smiling their encouragement. ‘This time, Sholto, my answer is yes.’

  The MacNabs whooped and broke into applause, apart from Sholto who limped round the table until he got to Wilma’s chair. As she lifted her face to look up at him, he bent and kissed her, then took her hand and helped her to her feet. Fergus stood and pulled out his chair, vacating it for Wilma who, arm in arm with Sholto, walked round the table to take her place at his side, her face shining with happiness. One by one the MacNabs kissed her and voiced their congratulations. Then it was my turn to hug her and Sholto and wish them every happiness. Finally Rupert shook their hands and offered his congratulations.

  As he turned away, Rupert announced to the room at large, ‘As Wilma so rightly said, there has been much love in this family. Such loyalty. And courage. My friends, this love is surely strong enough to defeat hatred, envy and fear. Timor omnis abesto, as the MacNabs say,’ and he resumed his seat chuckling.

  ‘So, Jenny,’ Sholto said pointing to the laptop. ‘Any word from Meredith?’

  I was back in front of the laptop, but I’d avoided looking at the screen until now. What I read made my heart plummet.

  But you haven’t given Alec your answer, Jenny. What’s stopping you? There’s something you don’t want him to know, isn’t there? And now you’re wondering if he loves you enough and you’re frightened that he doesn’t. Just how much love is there in this wretched family? Enough to send me packing? Do you dare put Alec to the test, Jenny? I wonder… Do you have the guts?

  ‘I do.’

  I’d said the words aloud, firmly, without reading Meredith’s latest message aloud. When I looked up, Alec was watching me. ‘Was that for my benefit?’ he asked. ‘Was it – I hope – my answer?’

  My heart began to pound as I struggled to order my thoughts. ‘I was answering Meredith. She’s… she’s needling me now. About your proposal.’ A hush descended on the room and I knew it was now or never. I looked round the table at all the expectant faces and said, ‘Before I can give Alec his answer, I have some explaining to do. Rupert and Alec know, but I believe the rest of you don’t, that I have an alter ego, Imogen Ryan. Actually, that’s my real name. J.J. Ryan is the alter ego. Imogen was a very successful novelist who cracked up some years ago. She overcame her fear of writing fiction by coming back as Jenny the ghost writer. Alec, do you remember you once asked me what I put into my ghosted books to identify Imogen Ryan as the real author? I said I always left my mark, just as you mark your swords with a red kite. Well, I include a little quotation from Shakespeare’s Cymbeline. The heroine of that play’s called Imogen. There’s a scene where people think she’s dead and they sing a funeral song over her lifeless body. But she’s not dead, she’s just taken a sleeping potion that makes her appear to be dead.’

  ‘What’s the quotation?’ Alec asked.

  ‘It’s from that funeral song. Fear no more.’

  ‘You’re kidding me.’

  ‘No, I’m not. I always manage to get that phrase in somewhere, even if there’s a full stop between fear and no. It’s surprisingly versatile. I’m telling you all this because fear has been… well, it’s been my issue for many years now. And that’s why I always put that phrase in my J.J. Ryan books. It was a little nod to Imogen, my other self, my real self, who’s fearful. And that’s what I want to say to you about your proposal. Jenny very much wants to accept… but Imogen is afraid.’

  ‘You’ve nothing to fear, Jenny. The MacNab curse is nothing but superstition and I’m confident Meredith cannot touch us now.’

  ‘Actually, I’m not afraid of her. Not any more. I’m afraid that you don’t know what you’ll be taking on.’

  ‘I agree we haven’t known each other long, but—’

  ‘No, that’s not what I mean. Alec, I don’t want to sound as if I’m testing you, but if I accept your proposal, it has to be on one condition.’

  ‘Which is?’

  ‘That no future disclosure will make you withdraw your proposal in the light of… well, of information received.’

  Alec considered, then said, ‘I take it you’re not already married?’

  ‘No man’s ever proposed to me, let alone married me. It would be perfectly legal for us to marry. But there’s something that you personally might regard as an obstacle.’

  ‘Would Sholto regard it as an impediment?’

  ‘No. Definitely not.’

  ‘Would Zelda?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Rupert?’

  ‘No. And he knows what it is. In fact he’s tried to persuade me I should accept your proposal.’

  ‘Thank you, Rupert,’ Alec said with a smile. ‘OK, then, I’ll repeat my offer.’ He stood and reached across the table for the claymore, raised it before him and said, ‘Imogen Ryan, for better or worse and under any conditions you care to name, I swear on this ancient and beloved blade that no future disclosure will make me withdraw or even regret my proposal.’ He lowered the blade and grinned. ‘Now will you marry me?’

  ‘With the very greatest of pleasure.’

  Applause broke out again as Alec put down the sword, strode round the table and took me in his arms. He kissed me thoroughly and, still holding me tight against his pounding chest, declared, ‘Go ahead and do your worst, Meredith. If you bring the stones down around our ears, you’ll not touch us. The MacNab men have chosen their women and their women are “steel-true and blade-straight”. They don’t fear death and they certainly don’t fear you. Nor do I. There’s only one thing I fear and that’s fear itself. I will make only one concession to fear: I will fear to lose my loved ones – all of whom are in this room – but I won’t let that fear prevent me from loving them, from living with them and for them.

  ‘So you see, Meredith, you’ve lost. You’ll not be able to kill us because we all know – as my poor wife and mother did not – what we’re up against. We are united against you. We shall be looking out for each other. Whatever you put us through, none of us will have to go through it alone. So go ahead. Hurl your hatpins. Chuck your china ornaments. Plague us with your wee tunes. I shall eradicate all physical trace of you from my home and it will be as if you never lived. And if it takes me the rest of my life, Meredith, I promise you, as God is my witness, I will forget you.’ He reached for my hand and raised it to his lips. ‘And so will my wife.’

  Sholto wiped a tear from his eye and said, ‘I wonder if I might just say a few words?... They’re for Meredith’s benefit, but I’d like you all to hear them.’ He got to his feet and leaned on the table. ‘Alec, could you hand me the dear old claymore for a moment? I’d like to hold it on this momentous and very happy occasion.’

  Alec returned to his father’s side and handed him the claymore. Raising the sword, two-handed, like a crucifix, Sholto said, ‘This is your last chance, Meredith. The last time anyone will find it in their heart to forgive you. God’s mercy and forgiveness might be infinite. The rest of us are mere mortals. You died a terrible death. A worse death than Liz, though you at least were responsible for your own death. It could have stopped there. It should have. You might say you paid for what you’d done. Though some would argue, anyone who blighted a child’s life the way you blighted Alec’s deserves to die many times. I’m not saying that. I’m saying you have already died many times. Each time you chose evil instead of good. There are people in this room who had reason to remember you fondly and there’s one among us,’ Sholto said, looking at me, ‘who never knew you, but wanted to tell your story. You could have lived on, Meredith, in the kindly memories of your family and your loyal friend and servant, Wilma. Instead, you chose spite and revenge. You chose to bully. To destroy. You had a talent for making people adore you, but instead you have tried to make us fear
you.’

  Visibly tired now, Sholto laid the sword down on the table. ‘But you haven’t succeeded. No one is afraid of you. Or the curse. Not any more. To flout the curse, Fergus and Rachel are prepared to reject marriage. There’s already a MacNab heir on the way. And as she’s about to become part of our family, I hope Jenny will forgive my saying, she’s not so old that there might not be another MacNab scion in the near future.

  ‘So let’s face it, Meredith, you’ve lost. Love, loyalty and courage have defeated you. With these examples before you – particularly my dear Wilma’s – does it not occur to you that the time has come to spurn the darkness? To move into the light? Good God, woman, do you never wonder, as I do, what it might be like to rest?...’

  Sholto sank back into his chair, apparently exhausted. He closed his eyes and laid his head on the back of his chair. ‘Any word, Jenny? From herself, I mean?’

  ‘Nothing so far.’

  He sat up and waved his hand in the air. ‘Oh, switch the damn thing off! Whatever Meredith has to say, I’m not interested. But I doubt she’ll respond. She wasn’t stupid. She’ll know she’s beaten. Now, could someone please hand round the sandwiches? I’m famished.’

  I did as instructed and put the laptop away in my bag, then, unobserved in the general mêlée, I took out a pen and my chequebook. Wilma stood and reached for the sandwiches, but Sholto laid a restraining hand on her arm. ‘No, Wilma, the boys can do that… Ah, thank you,’ he said helping himself from the plate Alec offered. ‘Tuck in, everyone.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘This is our long-past-midnight feast. In fact, it will soon be dawn. At daybreak Rev. Sheridan is going to perambulate around the castle, blessing it and saying prayers. You are all cordially invited to join us.’ Sholto helped himself to another sandwich, remarking, ‘Meredith can’t complain about not being given a good send-off, can she?… These sandwiches are delicious! Do you know, the last time I was this happy, I was on top of Mount Everest!... What’s this?’ Sholto asked as I presented him with a folded piece of paper. ‘A note from Meredith?’