by Ella Edon
The doors opened upon command and the pianoforte’s music came sweeping over her. The chapel was packed with guests, with distant family members and long-time friends, all with broad smiles. The aisle had been decorated with rose petals and, standing at the opposite end of it was her mother, her sisters, and Jerome.
Louisa’s feet moved of their own accord. Simply because they knew she needed to move. Her heart was racing, the urge to run away washing over her once again. She hated that fear, but she couldn’t help it. Not when every step she took brought her closer to the man she would soon call her husband.
It didn’t help that he was so undeniably handsome. His brown hair had been trimmed for the occasion, appearing just a tad shorter than it had been when she’d last seen him. It somehow managed to make his jaw sharper, his lips a tight line that rivaled the kindness in his eyes. His waistcoat was cut perfectly for his broad shoulders, the pristine shirt and unruffled cravat underneath making a wonderful pair. His long legs, wrapped in dark trousers, were spread apart as he clasped his hands before him. He even wore a pair of white gloves much like her own. Louisa wondered if that was on purpose.
“Who presents this woman to be married to this man?” asked the bishop standing by Jerome.
“I do,” said the earl before he stepped away and claimed his spot next to his wife.
Louisa was left alone with Jerome. She didn’t take his hand, didn’t even look at him. She turned stiffly toward the bishop and Jerome did so as well without hesitation.
“Dearly beloved, we have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in holy matrimony,” began the bishop, reading from the large leather-bound book before him. Louisa hardly heard a word he was saying.
She was very aware of the man by her side, of how large he was. The top of her head just barely came above his shoulder. If she wanted to, she could easily use him to shield her. She could easily hide behind him so as not to see the monster that lurked somewhere within this chapel. Louisa knew Uncle Benjamin was there, but she hadn’t seen him simply because she hadn’t looked for him. If she had, it would have been much more difficult to fight the urge to run.
The bishop went on and on, talking about God’s intention for the union of man and woman. Louisa couldn’t care less about what was being said. She wanted this to be over with, so that she could strip this dress of and prepare for the life ahead of her. She would be living at Jerome’s home, away from her family. Even though she could always visit whenever she wanted, she would have to call that place a home—if only for her own peace of mind. It would take some getting used to, but Louisa was certain she could do it.
“Into this holy union, Miss Louisa King and Mr. Jerome Cooper now come to be joined,” the bishop droned.
Louisa, unable to help herself any longer, peeked up at Jerome. His eyes were trained ahead, his body perfectly still. He seemed to be listening to the bishop intently, as if he would be tested on all he had said. In fact, he seemed so intent and serious that it was almost comical. Laughter rumbled deep within her, but she didn’t let it pass.
“Miss Louisa.” Louisa snapped to attention when the bishop called her name. “Will you have this man to be your husband, to live together in the covenant of marriage? To love him, comfort, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health. And, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?”
“I do.” The words felt like bile on her tongue.
“Mr. Cooper.” The bishop turned his attention to Jerome and Louisa saw in her peripherals when he lifted his chin in expectation. “Will you have this woman to be your wife, to live together in the covenant of marriage? To love her, comfort, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health. And, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?”
“I do.”
Louisa clung tightly to her bouquet, knowing what was coming next. The dreaded moment she could not escape from.
The bishop smiled, wholly unaware of the chaos he was about to cause in Louisa’s mind. “You may kiss the bride.”
Jerome turned to her. Louisa faced him, swallowing. She desperately wished she’d taken a bit of her laudanum before coming here. It would have certainly made it easier to handle when he took one of her hand in his and leaned closer. Unable to stomach the sight, Louisa squeezed her eyes shut, quite aware that every bit of her body was tense.
His lips brushed against hers. Heat spread throughout her body and she instantly relaxed. Jerome didn’t linger for long, just a chaste kiss that would satisfy the bishop and the guests, but to Louisa it felt as if it had lasted forever. The urge to run had transformed into something else entirely. And while her heart beat madly, it wasn’t fear she felt.
It was that same burning desire that was snuffed out the next second. She…hadn’t hated it.
How can this be…? Louisa knew her mouth was hanging open, but the remnants of that earth-shattering passion were far too much for her to handle. For all her life, she’d hated men…so why did the kiss not bother her?
Why had she liked it?
Louisa hardly had any time to process that odd reaction. Jerome was already turning to face the guests and she did the same, stiff and unprepared. Applause echoed through the chapel and Louisa followed behind him, staring at his back as he made his way to the side of the chapel, towards a little door.
Inside there was nothing but a desk and a few chairs. Jerome pulled out a chair and gestured for her to sit, before he sat in the chair next to it. Louisa lowered herself into the chair dazed.
The bishop entered from behind them, bearing the registry. Louisa moved through the motions of the signing, following Jerome’s lead. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t step away from that kiss, so simple and short yet so different than she’d expected. She tried to summon her anger and repulsion but even that wouldn’t bloom in light of her shock.
Over and over, one single thought echoed in her mind. How could that have happened?
The Duke of Leinster’s declining state had relegated him to his bedchamber for weeks. Jerome had hoped he would be well enough to attend the wedding, but instead, he’d only grown worse. Since the day began, Jerome had been trying to hide his anxiousness about his father’s state, not wanting anyone else to know. Least of all Louisa. She seemed to be fighting her own battles.
He glanced at her, watching the way she picked at the food before her. She’d barely eaten anything since they’d sat down for the wedding breakfast and Jerome had long since given up hope that she would. Her mind seemed to be worlds away, so distant that she didn’t even snap at him when he asked her how she fared. She’d merely mumbled something unintelligible and looked away.
It was steadily beginning to worry him. She did well enough hiding it from others, so the earl and countess were not aware of their daughter’s mood. Nor were her sisters. But for some reason, Jerome could tell that she was out of it. Even as she smiled and pretended she was fine, it was clear to him that she did not feel well. But whether it was an emotional issue or a physical one, he didn’t know.
“Perhaps it would be best if we took our leave now,” Jerome said gently to her. He studied the curves of her face, waiting for that familiar anger to leap into her eyes. But she didn’t even look at him. She continued to twirl the fork in her hand, her mind worlds away. “Louisa?”
The call of her name had her eyes snapping up to his, round as blueberries. Jerome guessed it had something to do with the fact that he had called her by her Christian name. Perhaps it was only just sinking in that they were married.
“Yes?” she asked, her voice a whisper. “What is it?”
“I think it is best for us to leave now,” he said. He nearly took her hand then thought against it. She wouldn’t appreciate that in the slightest, he knew. “If you are feeling unwell, you can go on to the carriage on your own while I make the farewells on both our behalf.”
Louisa stared at his face fo
r a few moments, searching. Then she scowled at him, and Jerome was half-glad, half-disappointed to see that she had returned. “I suppose you think because we are now married, you can give me orders, do you?”
“I think nothing of the sort,” he said. “If you have no qualms with saying your farewells, then neither do I.”
Her scowl only deepened before she rose stiffly. Jerome almost sighed. He hadn’t a clue how to get through to her. He felt as if she bore a burden no one else knew about, a burden that had her rushing away from the dinner party to sneak a bit of laudanum, thinking that no one would know. Jerome was trying to be patient with her. He didn’t want to get on her bad side any more than he already had. But no matter what he said, she took issue with it. He could already tell that their days together would be filled with strife.
Father’s failure to attend might have been a good thing. He surely would not like to see Louisa speak to him in such a manner.
Jerome rose as well and trailed behind her with ease. He caught the look she threw over her shoulder at him, but when they approached the earl, Lady Warwick, and her sisters, there was nothing but a smile.
“Father, Mother,” Louisa greeted warmly. “We will be taking our leave now. We think it is best we get settled in.”
“Oh, so soon?” Charlotte spoke up. She glanced anxiously at Jerome before she touched Louisa on her shoulder. “You do not want to stay a bit longer?”
“Goodness, you are being quite clingy today, aren’t you?” Louisa said with a laugh. Jerome’s brows lifted in his surprise.
Charlotte rolled her eyes good-naturedly, smiling as well. Jerome took that as his cue to speak. “We will visit again soon, my Lord, my Lady,” he said to Louisa’s parents. He didn’t miss the way she stiffened next to him. He didn’t miss many things about her, he was beginning to notice.
“There is no need to worry about that for now,” said the earl in an amiable manner. “You two have only just been wed. You should enjoy your time together without worrying about anyone else.”
“That goes especially for you, Louisa,” said Lady Warwick. She hadn’t stopped smiling since the day began, though Jerome couldn’t blame her. She had every reason to be overjoyed. Jerome wouldn’t be surprised if Louisa was masking her true feelings regarding him for the sake of her mother.
“Yes, Mother,” Louisa sighed in a tired tone, but her eyes were soft. They shared a hug and Jerome stood by and watched as she embraced the rest of her family. Then, without looking at him, she turned and left.
Silence descended on them as they left the manor. Jerome already had a carriage waiting to take him to the home they would now share. She tried to leave him in his dust, picking up the skirt of her dress as she stormed down the steps of the manor into the driveway. A footman, no doubt noticing her angry steps, rushed up to the carriage and pulled the door open.
Jerome said nothing as he got inside. He made sure to sit on the opposite end, as far away from her as he possibly could. But with the way she grimaced, he doubted it was far enough for her liking.
“I must say,” Jerome started once the carriage started off. He kept his eyes on her, watching as her eyes narrowed. “I did not expect that to go as well as it did.”
“Oh?”
The single word was a trap that he wasn’t afraid to fall into. “You have made it clear that you do not want to marry me. You cannot blame me for thinking that, on this of all days, you wouldn’t be able to hold back your disgust.”
Louisa huffed a laugh of disbelief. Even with her anger-stricken features, she was so beautiful that he couldn’t look away. It had taken all his strength not to stare at her while they stood together at the altar, but now, he gave in to that simple need.
“You must not think very highly of yourself,” she snipped.
“I do,” he responded easily. “But you do not. And I cannot seem to change your mind.”
“After what you’ve done to allow things to get this far in the first place, you shouldn’t hope to!”
She didn’t shout, Jerome noted. But her words struck with such force that it was as if she did. It didn’t take much to anger her, and Jerome wondered if he could possibly live with such a temper, even despite her beauty.
“I have done nothing but take advantage of the situation.”
“You used my words against me.”
“You should not have said those words.”
Louisa blinked, her mouth opening to say more. She glowered when she realized she had nothing to say to that. So she simply sat back and looked out the window in icy silence.
Jerome let the silence linger for a while before he gave into the curiosity that had been nagging him for a while. Ever since that day in the drawing room when she’d made her announcement, Jerome had wondered one thing. “Why did you do it?”
Slowly, Louisa slid her eyes back to him. He knew he didn’t have to clarify for her to understand what he meant. “Again,” she said. “It is none of your business.”
“Now that you are my wife, I cannot help but wonder what exactly will become my business,” he wondered aloud.
“Nothing has to change, Jerome,” she said heatedly. Jerome ignored the rush of pleasure he felt at the way she said his name. “We are not friends, so despite being married, we need only act like the strangers we truly are. Only then will we live in peace.”
“You and I both?”
“What could you possibly mean by that?”
Jerome hesitated. He wasn’t sure it was the right idea to bring up the laudanum, or the distressed way she would act sometimes. Even though his interest came from a place of concern, he had a feeling that it would only do more harm than good. So he shook his head. “Never mind,” he said, looking out his window.
Louisa said nothing and the silence continued until they’d arrived at his manor. It had none of the splendor of the Warwick estate, but it was decent enough for a man without a title. Jerome suddenly felt nervous. He hoped Louisa would not find fault with it.
She exited the carriage in silence, sweeping her gaze over the trellis-covered brick house that stood before her. Then, without a word, she made her way up to the front door. Jerome was content to trail behind. He wanted to gauge her every reaction without her knowing.
His butler, Samson, greeted them at the door. He was a middle-aged man who looked far younger than his years, and he bowed lowly when she entered. “Greetings, my Lady”
Louisa only acknowledged him with a curt nod. Jerome came up beside her. “You may go, Samson. I will see my wife to her bedchamber.”
My wife. It sounded so much better than he’d expected, but he wasn’t surprised to see Louisa stiffen. Samson nodded dutifully and went off, leaving them alone in the foyer.
“My bedchamber?” Louisa said the instant they were alone. “Rather smart of you. I was about ready to demand that we sleep in separate rooms.”
“I know you better than you might think, Louisa,” Jerome said as he started off towards the staircase ahead of him. After a few paces, he realized that Louisa wasn’t following, and he looked back to see that she was staring. Suddenly, he realized he might have said something foolish once again. “I do not mean to offend you,” he said quickly. “I only thought it would be best to study you a bit before we were married.”
“Study?” Slowly, she approached him. She could be quite intimidating, Jerome saw, when she tilted her head to the side, her face expressionless. “Am I a subject to be studied, Jerome?”
“Certainly not—”
“See me to my bedchamber,” she clipped out.
Jerome nodded. “Very well.”
He swiveled on his heels and headed up the staircase. Jerome was happy his manor was not the size of her own, because it meant that it did not take them very long to arrive. He cut the silence short when he said, “If you would like, I could show you to my bedchamber as well. Just in case you ever need to find me there.”
“There will be no use for that,” she said simply. She went into
the room, sweeping her gaze from one end to the other. Jerome had chosen for her one of the best bedchambers, hoping it would be to her liking.
After a moment, Louisa turned and lifted a brow at him. Jerome took that as his cue to leave. “Dinner will be served early this evening,” he told her. “I hope you will join me.”
Louisa didn’t respond. Jerome couldn’t tell if it was worse than having her snap at him. The threshold stood between them and Louisa placed her hand on the door.
“I will take my leave then,” Jerome said before turning away.
“Jerome.”
He looked back at her, brows rising in surprise. His surprise deepened when he saw that she was avoiding his eyes. “You were wrong,” she told him. “You anger me a great deal, but I am not disgusted by you.”
With that said, she closed the door, cutting short his chance to respond. Jerome didn’t know what to say to that anyhow. He stared at the wood, absorbing her words. For some reason, no matter the simplicity, it felt like something he should be proud of. Something that would not come easily from a lady like Louisa.