by Mari Carr
“So you decided to rebel?” Oakley asked.
“Yeah. Once I got boobs, the dad who used to let me do whatever I wanted went into meltdown mode. Turned into the overprotective bastard he is today.” There wasn’t a bit of malice lacing Sadie’s tone. In fact, it was pretty obvious she adored her dad. “So I decided to push his buttons. Dyed my hair blonde, started wearing makeup and low-cut shirts. Went a little boy crazy, talking on the phone all night. My dad went ballistic. Didn’t have a clue how to deal with a girlie-girl. It was okay for a while, but my outside didn’t match my insides and that was pretty obvious to the other girls. I’ve never had a lot of friends who were girls. All that drama and squealing and giggling shit gets on my nerves.”
Joel suddenly realized that was part of what made her so attractive. He’d thought it was her blunt honesty, but it was all that other stuff too.
“I guess the fact I was a late bloomer made me a bit more noticeable, more memorable when compared to the other three senior girls who were up for the title. It didn’t help that—while they were all gorgeous—they were also snooty bitches who hadn’t been particularly nice to many people in our class. According to the principal, I won by a landslide.”
“When did you give up the whole rebellion thing?” Oakley asked.
“Just before graduation. Met a badass guy with a motorcycle and tats who smoked like a chimney and I thought I was in love. Turned out I was just in love with the tats and the bike. Even so, I stuck with the loser six months longer than I should have. At the end of the relationship, I had my own motorcycle, a really bad tattoo on my ass, and my father started sleeping better at night.”
Oakley studied Sadie’s naked body. “I love the butterfly tat.”
She grinned. “So do I, but it’s what’s under the butterfly that sucked.”
“Ah,” Oakley said. “And so we get the story. What was it? His name? His face?”
Sadie narrowed her eyes. “Please. I would never be so stupid. It was just his initials.”
Joel laughed until she turned her gaze to him. “Okay, Joel. Your turn. Truth or dare?”
In light of the revelations of the past few minutes, Joel decided to take the easy way out. “Dare.”
“Awesome,” Sadie said without a second of hesitation. “I dare you to kiss Oakley.”
Joel froze, hoping he hadn’t heard her correctly. “What?”
“Kiss Oakley. And nothing lame. Lips touching, mouths open, little tongue action would be cool. And maybe you can grip his hair like you do mine. Because that is totally hot.”
“Sadie…” Joel didn’t know what else to say. Didn’t know how to get out of this situation. Shit, how to get out of this bed and this room.
Oakley didn’t make a peep, his face completely impassive. What the hell did he think of her dare? Why didn’t he step in and say no way?
Because he wanted it.
Oakley wanted his kiss. Joel knew that. Knew it deep down in his soul. God, he’d always known it.
Joel tried to fight down the panic gripping him. His next move had the potential to destroy so much more than this unorthodox affair they’d begun. He was terrified of losing his best friend.
The silence dragged on for too long. And while Oakley had one hell of a poker face, it started to slip, his eyes revealing a sadness Joel couldn’t stand to see.
“One kiss,” Joel whispered as he leaned across Sadie’s body, gripped Oakley’s face and pulled his lips to his.
Joel wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but it wasn’t the explosion of heat, passion and desire that crashed over him like an avalanche.
Oakley had obviously considered what this would be like, and he was ready to take advantage of the opportunity. His best friend wasn’t a passive lover. Joel had discovered that the other night. He may let Joel take the lead in most things, but when he really wanted something, Oakley took it.
Right now, Oakley wanted him. His hands reached out to grip Joel’s upper arms tightly. He held him close, allowing no retreat. Not that Joel had plans to go anywhere.
There had been no slow start. They’d gone in with mouths open, devouring, claiming, taking everything and then demanding more.
Joel felt no need to be gentle with Oakley. Instead, he longed for a roughness he didn’t dare show to Sadie. She was soft, sweet and, despite her penchant for pain, he held himself in check. He’d rather rip off his arm than hurt her.
The same didn’t hold true for Oakley. Not that he didn’t care about his friend—he loved him. But because Joel wanted to feel this. Really fucking feel it.
Oakley got it. He bit Joel’s lower lip, the sting, followed by the bitter taste of blood, driving Joel out of his mind. He gripped Oakley’s hair and pulled it, hard enough to provoke a pained groan. The sound was almost enough to make Joel stop. Until Oakley gave as good as he got—digging his fingers into Joel’s scalp.
The pain morphed into a pleasure so intense, Joel feared he’d come right there. Oakley hadn’t touched his cock, his hands weren’t even near his dick, and yet, Joel was on the precipice of blowing. Hard.
The realization shook him.
He shoved Oakley away, then rose from the bed. His harsh breathing loud in the quiet room. What the fuck was he doing?
“That can’t happen again.” The words fell out before Joel could think about them.
“The hell it can’t.” Oakley looked just as wiped out, overwhelmed. Shattered.
Joel shook his head. Every molecule in his body was telling him to leave, but his feet were sunk in some imaginary quicksand. Something was holding him there. If he left right now, it would be the biggest mistake of his life.
But staying here was a mistake too.
“I’m sorry.”
It was the first time Sadie had spoken since her dare. But Joel hadn’t forgotten her presence. Not for a single second. And he knew Oakley hadn’t either.
He’d felt her eyes on them as they’d kissed, her arousal wrapping around them, driving them higher.
Oakley reached over and ran a gentle hand through her hair. “What are you apologizing for?”
Sadie didn’t look at Oakley. She never took her eyes off Joel. He couldn’t stand the fear, the sadness in her eyes. This sure as hell wasn’t her fault. Knowing Sadie, she’d thought this dare—this entire game—would help move along something that was inevitable. And it had.
“Not your fault, Sade,” Joel said.
She gave him an expectant look. Clearly she hadn’t given up hope that he’d accept what had happened.
He couldn’t.
“I’m straight.” It was probably the dumbest thing he’d ever said in his life, but for some reason, Joel felt as if he had to keep saying it. More for himself than for them.
Oakley snorted, shaking his head and closing his eyes. Joel could almost hear the cursing dialogue running through his best friend’s mind. Then, as always, Oakley found a place to put the anger. It was a skill Joel envied.
When his eyelids lifted, he captured Joel’s gaze, giving him a smile and a shrug. “It’s okay, man. We tried it. You didn’t like it. No harm, no foul.”
Oakley’s words were a gift. He was letting Joel off the hook, pretending to buy into a big-ass lie.
Because they’d tried it and Joel had—to quote Oakley—fucking loved it.
If he’d been a better man, he would have admitted that. Given something back to his best friend. But in his mind, he pictured the faces of his mother, his teammates, Coach. How would they react if he came out? If he told them that not only was he in love with Sadie Milligan, he was head over heels for his best friend too?
He’d lived his entire life walking the straight and narrow, never rocking the boat. He couldn’t see a way to stop doing that now.
So he greedily took the escape. He smiled and nodded, tried to play it cool. Truth was, he couldn’t have spoken if his life depended on it. His throat was constricted, completely closed, the words trapped behind the steel door.
> “Besides,” Oakley said, “you can’t fucking kiss worth a damn. Can’t hold a candle to our sweet Sadie’s kisses.”
Oakley apparently sought to prove that point by kissing Sadie. She’d laughed lightly at his joke before Oakley’s lips covered hers.
Oakley was trying to find a way to take the heavy, too-intense moment and turn it back into something they could all handle. It wouldn’t work, but Joel loved his friend for trying.
Loved him.
When they broke apart, Oakley looked over his shoulder at him. Joel hadn’t moved an inch. He still wasn’t sure which direction to go. That old song from The Clash drifted through his head. Should I stay or should I go?
“Coming back to bed?” Oakley asked.
For a moment, Joel had imagined their game was over. He was wrong. Oakley had just issued the final dare.
And just like last time, Joel found it impossible to resist.
Chapter Six
Sadie sat next to Oakley and pretended to watch the Homecoming football game. The Titans were currently pummeling their rivals and spirits were high. Even so, it would be no hardship for her to depart right after halftime. She was leaving early, heading to Coach’s ranch to help Lorelie do all the last-minute stuff before her party. The rest of the guests would arrive about an hour or so later once the game was over.
It had been nine days since Sadie had instigated that ill-fated Truth or Dare game. Nine straight days of an unending fuck festival. Joel and Oakley had come back to her bed that night like two men possessed, and they’d found a way to be together every single night since then, five times at her apartment, twice in the bar, once at their bunkhouse and one time by a lake in the back bed of their pickup truck.
It was insanity. Beautiful, mind-blowing insanity.
And despite the unending litany of orgasms, Sadie knew they were living on borrowed time. The kiss Oakley and Joel had shared had jarred something loose and, though they were trying to ignore the fact that it was teetering precariously, they seemed to have accepted there was nothing that could stop it from crashing to the ground and shattering.
Worst of all, it was her fault. Neither man blamed her, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t opened Pandora’s box. She had honestly thought Joel merely needed a little push in the right direction. She was certain she hadn’t misread his feelings, but what she hadn’t understood was how strongly he would fight against them.
Even though, she should have realized. She’d known Joel for years. Knew how strongly he stood by his convictions, how much he believed in doing the right thing, in keeping the people around him happy. He’d move heaven and earth for his mother if she needed him. And for Coach. For Oakley…and now, she suspected, for her. Once he cared about someone, there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to protect them. Even if that meant denying his own happiness or hiding some intrinsic part of himself that he thought others wouldn’t understand or accept.
“Sadie?”
She glanced up at Oakley’s voice.
“Man, that was a deep thought. I hope it was some dirty fantasy that involved me,” he said with a sexy grin.
She hadn’t mentioned her fears. How could she? She was the one who’d put the two of them in this untenable position to begin with. For years she’d refused their offers to date because she hadn’t wanted to break up their friendship. Looks like she’d managed to drive a wedge between them anyway…and not in a way she had expected.
“Damn,” Oakley frowned. “That’s no fantasy. What’s wrong, Sade?”
She shook off her uneasiness. “Nothing. Just bored. Football’s not my thing.”
“Don’t let Joel hear you say that. High school football played a big role in some of the happiest days of his life.”
“How long can you keep pretending?”
Oakley’s brow creased. He knew what she was talking about. He glanced around the stands and she cursed herself for starting this now. Here. They’d chosen seats amongst Joel’s old teammates and their loved ones.
She glanced down to the sideline and spotted the back of Joel’s head. He was standing next to Tucker and Colt, waiting to take the field at halftime to watch as their beloved Coach was honored for his contributions to Quinn football. Lorelie stood near the guys, next to her dad, looking so proud she could pop.
That left her and Oakley in the stands with girlfriends, wives and friends, all those who had come to cheer on the Titans of today as well as the state champs from fifteen years ago.
“Sadie.” Oakley stood up and offered his hand. “Come here.”
She followed as he led them out of the stands to a private place near the gate. “It’s not going to happen with me and Joel.”
“But you want it to. And so does he. I can tell. When we’re together, it’s…like there’s something missing.”
Oakley frowned. “Wait. You don’t enjoy what we do?”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be stupid. You’re right there beside me. You know I love it. But I’m not blind and I have a really hard time not pointing out something when it’s wrong. What you and Joel are denying. To yourselves. To us. It’s wrong.”
“I don’t have a choice, Sadie. If it were up to me, things would be different. But I can’t force the guy to accept what I’m offering. He has to come to me.”
She blew out an exasperated breath. “He can’t do that. It’s just not in him. We have to convince him, show him—”
“No.” Oakley cut her off. “Absolutely not. We cracked the door with that kiss and we left it open. I’m not shoving him through. He’s going to walk in on his own or he’s not. There’s nothing else you and I can do.”
“Well…I think that sucks.”
Oakley chuckled. “That’s because you and me are doers. We want something, we just take it. Joel’s a thinker. He has to analyze, weigh all the options and dangers. Shit like that takes time.”
Sadie laughed. For someone who seemed to walk through life with a nonchalant, devil-may-care attitude, Oakley was probably one of the shrewdest people she’d ever met. He saw way more than he let on. And even better, he understood what made the people he cared about tick.
Meanwhile, she didn’t have a clue. She’d always been the type to try to force puzzle pieces together that didn’t fit. It was one reason she was so bad at relationships. She’d choose the world’s worst guy, then work like a son of a bitch to hang on to something she’d had no business reaching for to begin with.
Even with Oakley and Joel, she’d found a way to make the possibility of something special impossible by choosing both guys instead of just one. The longer she was with them, the more she didn’t have a doubt she could have made a happy ending with either of them. And, in typical fashion, she’d fucked it up by grasping at a short-term fantasy that likely wouldn’t last through the rest of the year.
Whistles pierced the night, marking the end of the second quarter. The announcer came over the loudspeaker, inviting the crowd to turn their attention to the special halftime presentation.
Oakley wrapped his arm around her shoulder and turned her back to the stands. “Come on. Joel will be upset if we miss this.”
Sadie returned to her place on the blanket she’d set down to share with Oakley and Joel. She’d caught more than a few sideways glances when she walked in with both of them. While Lorelie thought she was dating Joel—and clearly suspected Oakley was just a third wheel—there were plenty of other friends left wondering exactly which guy she was with.
Except for Carter, a local cop and a former teammate of Joel’s. His stare felt a little too perceptive for Sadie’s comfort. Carter seemed to know it was both.
The announcer began to introduce the older players. She and Oakley screamed their fool heads off when Joel’s name was announced and he walked across the field. She laughed as all the guys fist-bumped each other as they walked down the line. It was cool to see so many of the players back home and together in the same place.
Sadie remembered the boys who’d made u
p that team fondly, even though they’d been younger than her. Probably because quite a few of them had had crushes on her. She wondered how many of them had honed their flirting skills on her before landing their real high school sweethearts. Tucker, Colt and Carter had, for sure. And Jackson—though he flirted with anything in a skirt.
The stadium was packed with current students and their parents, locals who lived and breathed high school football, and returning graduates, who had come home from wherever they’d moved to take that long walk down memory lane.
Sadie had never felt particularly nostalgic about high school. It was four years of her life that she’d basically just tried to survive. Not because she had been bullied. It was more like she’d been bored out of her mind.
She saw the Homecoming Court standing to one side, waiting for their time to shine under the stadium lights. Four girls nervously hoping they’d walk off with the crown. Sadie remembered standing in that exact same place. And she could recall her thoughts at that moment. She was hoping she wouldn’t win because the whole thing felt like one big joke and she’d feel like an ass in a tiara.
“I know you told me the story, but I still can’t quite picture you down there on that field in a crown,” Oakley joked, leaning close.
“Neither can I. It was embarrassing as hell.”
He laughed. “Yeah. That’s sort of how I imagined you would have felt about it. Joel looks happy though. I wish I’d known him in high school.”
She glanced at Oakley’s face as he looked at his best friend. They were so close it was hard to remember they hadn’t known each other forever. It seemed like they should have grown up together.
Sadie tried to think back to Joel in school, tried to remember some details she could offer Oakley. “He was a quiet kid. Not that he didn’t have friends. He just wasn’t showy or cocky. I remember being surprised when he made the Varsity football team because he didn’t have that jock strut the rest of the guys had. He was a rule-follower, even then. And a good guy, which meant the girls steered clear. Most high school girls are only into the bad boys.”