by Mari Carr
Oakley listened to her description in rapt attention. “Their loss, I guess.”
She nodded. “Yeah. It was.”
Once all the guys had been introduced, it was time for the main event. Coach Carr was called forward. Lorelie walked with him toward the superintendent of the school system and the Quinn High School principal. The announcer read off Coach’s accomplishments, the list long and full of all the things that made him the amazing man he was. And then they directed everyone’s attention to the press box. A large white sheet was hanging above the concession stand, but at the principal’s command, the covering fell away to reveal a new sign.
The Nicholas Carr Stadium had been named and dedicated to the talented coach who had given so much to the school, the community and to the players who loved him.
Sadie didn’t consider herself a sentimental person, but she didn’t hesitate to take the tissue Tucker’s girlfriend, Lela, offered her at the unveiling.
Coach had been like a father to the boys who played for him, but he’d taken more than a few other wayward souls under his wing as well. She recalled sitting under these stands following the Homecoming game all those years ago and wishing that her mother had been there to see her crowned. She had truly believed that silly honor would’ve made her mother proud of her.
Coach Carr had found her there and he’d comforted her. His wife had died in childbirth with Lorelie. He understood how hard it was for a daughter to grow up without her mother, but he said that in his estimation, that missing part only made a woman stronger. Because she learned how to stand on her own two feet, to discover who she truly was—not through emulation, but through honest introspection. It was the first time Sadie had felt a kinship with Lorelie, a girl she’d barely known.
And then he’d said something Sadie had never forgotten. He told her that tears were fine as long as she knew what she was crying for.
Sadie had gone home that night and thought about what Coach had said. She thought she’d been crying for her mom, but when forced to face the truth, she realized she’d been feeling sorry for herself. They’d been wasted tears. She didn’t need her mother’s approval. She only needed her own.
Coach had set her on the path to discovering her own strength, her own sense of being. And she’d never forgotten it.
* * *
Joel walked into the barn with Carter. Sadie and Oakley had left the game shortly after halftime to help Lorelie get ready for the onslaught of people who were just now starting to arrive. The Titans had trounced the Pioneers 36-7, maintaining their undefeated status. The excitement level of the locals was reaching fever pitch as everyone proclaimed this team was going to do what none other had done since Joel’s. Bring home the state trophy.
Sadie was already set up behind the bar, a few early arrivers standing in line, waiting for drinks. Oakley was just behind her, pumping the keg and making some off-color joke about two nuns and a cheerleader. Everyone was laughing. The evening had only just begun, but it promised to be a great night.
Joel stood back as he watched all the activity surrounding them. He and Oakley had spent the better part of three days getting the barn cleaned out and setting up a bar area, building a makeshift stage for Wade and his musician friend, as well as chiseling out a decent bit of space for dancing.
Lorelie and her girlfriends had spent all afternoon decorating and making the food. From the look on Coach’s face, Joel suspected every bit of sweat and hard work was worth it. The guy was in his element, surrounded by so many people who loved him and who were delighted to see someone so worthy get the recognition he deserved.
“Hey.”
Joel turned around to find Lorelie standing next to him.
“Aren’t you joining the party?” she asked. “I thought you were helping Sadie behind the bar.”
Lorelie had cornered him a few days ago to ask how things were going between him and Sadie. He’d given her a vague answer about everything being fine before making an excuse and getting away from her. He wanted to shout to the world that Sadie was his girlfriend. God knew that’s what he wanted her to be. But he couldn’t.
Everything was too screwed up. His feelings for Oakley were gumming up the works, and Sadie was still resistant to accept what was going on as anything more than a short-term fling. She was determined they’d ride the merry-go-round until they got dizzy and then they’d just get off. He didn’t want off.
“I’m just soaking it all in for a minute.”
Lorelie followed his glance at Coach, her own smile growing. “I’m so happy we’re all here. Together again. And that Dad is getting better.”
“I’m glad too. This party was a great idea.”
High school had been one of the best times of his life. For a kid who’d always been a bit of a loner growing up, he’d hit his stride as a sophomore. Pretty much because of Coach. He’d been sitting on a bench outside school one day, waiting for his mom to pick him up. Tucker, who was in his math class, had stopped to ask him a question about an assignment while waiting for practice to start. Tucker had made starting quarterback for the Varsity squad as a freshman. It seemed to Joel his friend had been born throwing a ball.
Coach had stopped by to move Tucker along, and then he noticed Joel. Said he’d seen him sitting around after school every day. Joel hated riding the bus almost as much as he hated hanging out in an empty house alone for hours. So he’d elected to stay after school instead, doing his homework and watching all the other students come and go from extracurricular activities until his mom came to pick him up.
Coach invited him to practice and, since Joel’s mom was still a couple hours away from getting off work, he’d figured why not. He joined the team that very day, never missed a practice after that and by junior year, he was the starting center at every game and working part-time on this ranch. Being a part of the team had given Joel some things he hadn’t really had before high school—friends and a purpose.
Lorelie laughed as some of the guys arrived with their girlfriends in tow. Jackson and Tucker came into the barn in style, Tucker with a ball in hand and yelling for Jackson to “go long”. Jackson ran toward Coach as Tucker lobbed the ball at him. After Jackson caught it, he handed it to Coach.
Joel knew what it was. All the guys had signed a football for Coach as a gift, a memento of the night.
“Wow.” Lorelie’s smile grew. “Look at Dad’s face.”
Joel couldn’t look away. “Never seen the guy so happy.”
Lorelie turned and hugged Joel. “Thank you.”
“For what?” he asked.
“For calling the guys, asking them to come back. I think seeing all of them is what helped my dad get better. It reminded him of better times and made him feel young again. I know I never say it, but I’m glad you’re here, Joel. It was just me and Dad for so long. With you and Oakley, it feels like we have a regular family.”
Joel swallowed heavily and tightened the embrace. He understood what it meant to be light on family. Lorelie only had her dad. He’d only ever had his mom. Until she said it aloud, he’d never realized that they had begun to feel like a family. Joel thought he’d regretted not leaving Quinn, but that wasn’t true. He’d subconsciously stayed because he hadn’t wanted to leave all the people he loved.
He placed a brotherly kiss on the top of Lorelie’s head. “Love you, kiddo.”
She laughed at the nickname he hadn’t used in years. Mainly because she’d become a woman and threatened to emasculate him if he continued to call her that.
“Love you too.”
The moment passed as they stepped apart and surveyed the room once more. Lela and Tucker had taken to the dance floor as music drifted from Lorelie’s iPod. Wade was still getting set up, Colt and his business partner, Drake, helping him move the amps into place. Jackson and Carter were playing a game of one-upping each other as they reminisced about the glory days.
“I can’t believe they’re all staying in Quinn.”
Joel gr
inned. “I suspect Lela, Annabelle and Charlene had something to do with that.”
“It feels right…having them all back.”
Joel agreed. He’d felt twinges of jealousy whenever he considered his friends and the places they’d traveled to, but the fact that they’d all returned to Quinn spoke volumes to him. There really wasn’t any place better than home.
The more Joel looked around at the people in his barn, the more he realized he couldn’t leave here. He was happy.
His gaze landed on Oakley, who had taken Sadie’s hand to spin her in time with the music behind the bar. She was laughing and trying to break free so she could pour a drink.
No. He couldn’t leave.
“Damn. If all the girls around here are as pretty as you, I may never leave Texas again.”
Joel and Lorelie turned around at the strange voice. Joel’s hackles rose as a man he’d never seen gave Lorelie a charming smile to match his come-on. Joel started to tell the guy to back off, but as always, Lorelie was more than prepared to fight her own battles.
“Is that a pickup line?” To a stranger, Lorelie would sound sweet, flirty. But Joel recognized the tone. This guy was in danger. Joel stuck around for the show.
The guy stepped closer to her. “Did it work?”
“Not even a little bit.”
He laughed. “Guess I’ll have to figure out something else that might work with you then.”
Lorelie narrowed her eyes. “Yeah. That’s not gonna happen.”
The man didn’t look deterred. In fact, if Joel read his face correctly, it appeared he’d taken Lorelie’s comment as a dare. “Never say never, beautiful.”
Lorelie rolled her eyes. “You know, I made up the guest list for this party and I don’t know you from Adam, which means you weren’t invited.”
The man pointed to a guitar case resting against the table next to him. “Actually, I was. I’m Glen Young, Wade’s friend. I just got into town. Goddamn GPS on my phone took me all around Robin Hood’s barn. Didn’t think I’d ever get here.”
Lorelie pointed toward the stage. “Wade’s up there. I think he had given up on you. Said something to the effect that you were probably three sheets or between the sheets with some groupie.”
Glen chuckled. “Wade always was a jealous bastard. So…if it’s your party, you must be Lorelie. Wade failed to tell me how gorgeous you are.”
“You realize all you did was reword the first pickup line that failed miserably. Your efforts are getting worse, not better,” she teased.
Joel still stood close in case Lorelie needed him, but it was becoming more and more apparent she wasn’t going to be calling in the troops.
Glen laughed loudly. “I’m going to sing you a song, Lori.”
She shook her head, but she didn’t look annoyed. “Don’t bother. You’re not my type.”
Glen gave her a curious look. “What’s my type?”
“Blind, deaf and stupid.” With that, she gave Glen a wicked grin and walked away.
Glen’s grin grew wider. “Damn.”
Joel felt compelled to warn the guy off, in deference to Coach. “She’s not a woman you want to mess with.”
Glen only offered Joel a nonchalant shrug, his eyes still locked on Lorelie’s retreating form. “Maybe not, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to marry that girl.”
Before Joel could say more, Glen headed to the stage, where Wade was just about to start playing. He watched the men high-five. Glen had his guitar out of the case and plugged into the amp in record time. Within minutes, he and Wade were jamming out and the dance floor filled up almost instantly.
“Hey, Joel,” Sadie called out. “Thought you were helping us.”
Joel walked over to the makeshift bar, joining Sadie and Oakley in the tight space. The lack of room meant they kept bumping into each other. He took advantage of the opportunity that afforded with Sadie, leaning closer, brushing her ass with his crotch whenever he could.
The sexy smile she gave him and the number of times she managed to run her breasts across his arm as she reached for something told him she was on to his game. And as always, Sadie found a way beat him at it. He had to adjust his pants several times as his cock refused to stay down. It was becoming painful.
The problem was Oakley. There was no way to avoid running into him as well. Each time they got too close, Joel backed away.
Twice he caught the hurt in Oakley’s gaze as he dodged his casual touches. Joel hated pulling away from his best friend, but he couldn’t figure out how to make his feelings go away.
It was that damn kiss. It haunted him. Replayed in his mind twenty-four-seven. He’d never kissed a guy. Never wanted to. Now he couldn’t think of anything except kissing Oakley.
He reached out to grab another stack of red Solo cups, careful to avoid touching Oakley.
Oakley frowned, the expression drawing Joel’s gaze to his lips.
God, he had it bad. Joel turned away and looked around the barn, studying the faces. Former teammates and friends surrounded him. Sadie’s dad sat next to Coach with some other guys from town, the fellas who usually packed around the bar in Pitchers the night after a Titans game to dissect and discuss every play. His mother was even in attendance, standing in a corner, chatting with a couple of ladies from church.
What would they think if Joel reached over and kissed Oakley? Right here. Right now.
“Joel?” Sadie pulled him from his thoughts. “You okay?”
He nodded, even as he thought, nope. I am definitely not okay.
“Bunkhouse? After the party?” she asked. There was a twinge of doubt in her voice, something he’d never heard there before.
She knew.
How could she not?
But she and Oakley had gone along with him after that kiss. Joel had wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened, had wanted to ignore it. And because Sadie and Oakley cared about him, they’d respected his wishes and pretended right along with him.
Joel couldn’t understand how he could be this fucked-up inside. He was living a dream, sharing the girl he loved with his best friend. The sex was off the charts. He should be happy.
He wasn’t.
He couldn’t give Sadie and Oakley what they wanted. For the first time in his life, the king of people-pleasers didn’t have it in himself to offer them the key to true happiness. It was clenched tightly in his white-knuckled fist. And it was staying there.
“Joel?” Sadie said when he failed to answer.
He was a coward. And a greedy one at that.
“Absolutely,” he said in response to her question. “Come on. Dance with me. Oakley can hold down the fort back here for a little while.”
Joel needed air, space, a chance to catch his breath. He couldn’t let Sadie see him struggling. He feared she’d leave, walk away.
He couldn’t let her do that. So they’d all just keep ignoring. Keep pretending.
Keep believing that this was working.
Even though it wasn’t.
Chapter Seven
The sun beat down on them, the temperature pushing eighty-five, ninety. Sometimes Texas was a merciless bitch.
Oakley took off his hat and wiped away the sweat that was dripping down into his eyes. It was only midday and there were still too many hours between now and quitting time. Ordinarily, he didn’t mind the long hours or the heat, but he was running on empty. Low on sleep, energy and patience. It was a dangerous combination.
Especially since Joel seemed to share it. The two of them hadn’t spoken three words to each other since they’d gotten up this morning, which left Oakley too much time to think, to fume.
He’d let Joel continue to push him away, to treat him as if he had some contagious disease because he’d genuinely believed his friend would come around. Joel wasn’t stupid, and while he had more than a fair amount of stubborn, he usually did the right thing.
However, the dumbass had wrapped his head around his feelings for Oakley and come to the wrong co
nclusion. Joel had convinced himself that being with Oakley would be wrong. Fucking idiot. Joel had been a part of that kiss. There was no way he didn’t get it, didn’t see exactly how right this was.
So, they continued to work in silence, trying to let the sun and exhaustion beat away all the heavy feelings. It wasn’t working.
Oakley’s temper sparked when Joel jerked his hand away as they both reached for a tool at the same time.
“Seriously, dude? I’m not going to jump you, Joel, so you can stop looking at me like I’m some pervert waiting to catch you in a dark alley.”
“I’m not doing that.”
“Bullshit. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? We lay in bed with Sadie and the second I get too close to you, you back away. What I have isn’t catching, so you can take it easy. You’re not going to turn into some raging queer if you get too close.”
Joel scowled. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You don’t want me. I get it. Okay? You don’t have to keep ramming that fact down my throat. I’m choking on it already.”
Joel’s state of mind didn’t appear to be any better than his, which pleased Oakley more than he could say. He’d tried to be understanding, tried to walk away, tried to pretend Joel’s distance didn’t slice through him like a knife, but he couldn’t do it anymore. Couldn’t swallow his feelings, pretend like they didn’t exist.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Joel said.
Oakley laughed, the sound pure anger. “Fuck you, Joel.”
Joel’s eyes narrowed, the dark brown turning black. “Fuck me? Seriously? You fuck up everything. Everything! And you say ‘fuck you’ to me? No, Oakley. Fuck you!”
“What the hell did I fuck up?”
“We had a good thing with Sadie. Maybe it wasn’t perfect and maybe it wasn’t going to last forever, but for just a little while, we had her. With us. And it was fucking awesome! Then you…you…”
“Kissed you? Touched your balls? Licked your dick? Which part freaked you out the most?”
Joel exploded. A week of pent-up frustration just burst into flame.