by Jami Denise
Slamming the door behind me, I took off, stalking my way toward the exit. I was on the verge of tears, and that pissed me off. No one liked being treated like a child, and that went double for me. Vince didn’t usually operate that way, but he’d done it enough. His explosion in that empty room took the cake.
Again, how dare he?
With a renewed passion, I went to the elevator, the one I’d taken the very first time I stepped foot in the Maguire. If Vince didn’t want to talk, well, I knew someone that would. I wasn’t beyond using my wiles on Flynn to get the answers I needed, either.
“Ma’am, you can’t use that elevator.”
I didn’t bother slowing down. At that moment I was ready to take someone to the ground if they tried to stop me.
“Ma’am!”
I huffed, turned on my heels, and spun around to face whoever it wasting my time.
I was a woman on a mission, damn it.
“Look, I need to go upstairs. I’m going upstairs, you understand?”
“But ma’am, no one is allowed entrance without being on the list.”
I chuckled and softened my posture. The little boy was about to learn a lesson he’d never forget.
“Sweetheart, I’m a very dear friend of Mr. Maguire’s.” I moved toward him, shifting my hips and ran a finger down his cheek. “I’d like to surprise him, if you know what I mean. I’m his favorite girl. You can ask Marcy. She knows me.”
His eyes bugged out and his cheeks turned bright red. I had him. Hook. Line. Sinker.
“I’ll need to ask... ask her,” he stuttered.
“You do that, sugar. I’ll just wait right over there,” I said. I pointed at the elevator and batted my eyes.
He nodded and took off toward the concierge. I shifted, popping my hip. I didn’t have time for bullshit, and I really didn’t want Marcy alerting Flynn of my arrival. The element of surprise would be fantastic—that was if Vince hadn’t already spoiled it.
A few moments later, the boy, with Marcy in tow, came into view. She looked pissed—until she recognized me.
“Miss King, I wasn’t made aware of your visit.”
Walking to meet them, I smiled and turned on my Jayne charm. I needed plenty of luck to get inside. I had a feeling I could count on Marcy.
“This is an unexpected visit, Marcy. I was hoping to pop in and see Flynn. I think he’d be pleased to see me, don’t you think?”
She looked conflicted, but with a little work, I would get my way.
“I’m not sure. I should call him...”
“No!” I insisted. “Really, sweetheart, I would rather surprise him. He doesn’t know I’m in town, and I’d like to make this a visit to remember. He’ll be happy to see me. You know how he favors me.”
She chewed on her lip and looked around—at what, I had no idea. Everyone was so paranoid all of a sudden. It wasn’t helping my panic button a bit.
“Let’s do this; if he’s angry about the abrupt visit, I’ll take the brunt of it. I promise I’ll make sure he knows I coerced you into allowing me access. I won’t let this come back on you. I swear.”
She sighed. “Okay. I’m still not sure, but I know that you have history, so I trust you.”
“You’re a doll.” I leaned forward, kissed her on the cheek, and winked at the bellboy. “Do me a favor—don’t call up ahead of me. I really want to see the look on his face when he opens the door.”
She nodded and ordered the boy to take me upstairs. It really went better than I thought it would, and for that, I was relieved.
Just as I’d done the first time in the elevator, I touched up my lipstick, adjusted my skirt and blouse, and made sure my hair wasn’t flying around everywhere. If anything else, I wanted to make sure I looked perfect. Flynn was a pig—the first thing he’d notice was my outfit, or lack thereof. I purposely avoided red because... fuck him.
The elevator dinged, and I smiled to myself.
It was showtime.
TWELVE
Standing outside the suite, my nerves took over. I wanted to be brave, but I knew seeing him face to face was going to be rough. It had to be done, though. I had to be strong, so I squared my shoulders, rolled my neck, and beat on the door before I chickened out.
The door flew open, and I realized he wasn’t alone. My heart thundered under my ribcage, and I almost passed out.
“Can I help you?”
I blinked away the confusion and focused on the bimbo in front of me. Again, I wasn’t surprised there was a woman in his room. Typical. But the look on her face and the tone of her voice brought me back to the present and the reason I was there. I wasn’t a jealous ex-girlfriend; I was the dark angel of his demise. That bitch was nothing to me.
“No, you can’t.”
I pushed past her, walking into the room like I owned it. I wasn’t letting anyone in that room stop me.
I spotted him right away, sitting across the room in the midst of a poker game. A trashy brunette sat perched on his knee, while another stood behind him, rubbing his shoulders. He made me sick. He looked up, and it was as if he’d been hit with the brunt of a gun against his temple. Pure and utter shock.
He was a caricature of the man I’d fallen in love with. Still beautiful, but something black had seeped through. You could sense it immediately. The eyes that smoldered dark with lust were shadowed and sullen on his face like tiny ghosts watching the world turn while they battled the pain behind them.
A visceral ache shot through me. If only things had been different. Had he been the man I thought he was, everything could’ve been beautiful. But, those things happened. Those lies were weaved and the betrayal was real. He hurt me, cracking every bone inside of me, and left wounds that would never heal. I’d always be broken. Always a little crooked. I’d never trust in anything completely again.
He stood, swatting away the brunette, and gripped the arms of the chair to steady his unsure legs. I could feel the eyes of every person in the room, but I couldn’t look away from him. It was surreal, after all that time, how much he affected me. Still.
“Janie,” he choked out.
His lips let my name escape, but I could see that he couldn’t believe I was standing there, that I’d barged into his room like a phantom, a deep, dark secret from his past.
That past wasn’t far enough behind us for him to be so surprised, especially since I was sure he was well aware of the visit I’d received from Vince.
Had he really believed I was gone for good? He was obviously as stupid as I was to have bought into the lies. I was just as big of a liar as he was. A better one, if I was honest. I broke promises and laid idle threats on a daily basis. It was unbelievable, the meshing of the people we were.
I could almost sympathize with the bastard.
“Don’t get up,” I ordered. “Sit back down and listen. You owe me that much.”
I walked over to the bar and slammed my clutch on the hard surface. Grabbing a glass, I reached over and grabbed the crystal decanter of amber fluid, not really giving a shit what was inside. I needed to calm the fuck down. A stiff drink was a start.
I threw it back quickly, wiping the moisture from my lips afterward with the back of my arm before turning to face him again. He was still sitting there, staring, with his gaggle of monkeys watching on. If he wanted an audience, well, that was his problem.
I fisted my hands at my side and started pacing.
“I came back for my money. I earned it, and you stole it. I want it back.”
I bit out every word with as much venom as possible. I was boiling over with pure rage, ready to set that whole damn suite up in flames.
I stopped pacing and turned to face him, waiting on an answer. When our eyes met again, it was as if something finally clicked.
Welcome to the party, motherfucker.
He stood, knocking the chair out from underneath him and sending it backward to the floor.
“Get out!” he roared. “Everyone get the fuck out of my house!”
He threw the contents of the card table to the floor and flipped it on its side as he charged toward me. Everyone scampered, grabbing coats and purses and flying out of the suite like their asses were on fire. I didn’t blame them. If I were in their shoes, I would have hightailed it out as well.
Shit was about to get really messy.
Once the room was empty, the only sounds left were his heavy breathing and the beating of my heart as we stared each other down. I couldn’t lose my nerve, so I turned away from him and continued to pace the room.
“I thought I could walk away and start over, but it turns out it’s not that easy when you’re broke. Then I remembered you, sitting over here on your tuft of cash, high and mighty in your castle, and you know what?” I turned to face him and pointed my finger in his direction. “Fuck. That. I paid to get my father out alive, and he’s dead. Dead! And now you take Vince away from me, too! I find out you two were in cahoots all along! Your father reneged on his part of the bargain, so I want what’s mine. I earned it!”
He’d taken a seat and sat quietly, watching me carefully, almost in wonder while I spoke. As soon as the last word fell from my lips, he was up and out of his chair, thundering toward me. I stumbled backward, a little frightened of him and not knowing what to expect until my back was against the wall behind me.
“That’s why you came back?”
His voice was deadly calm, but his eyes told a tortured story. He was battling with his emotions, teetering on a decision to kiss me, or kill me. He stared hard for a beat, and then stepped back, turning and running his hand through his hair.
I held a hand over my chest to hold in the nerves, and when he faced me again, it was evident that the darker side of him had won out.
Pressing myself further into the wall, I shook my head and demanded he stay away from me. “I just want what I deserve.”
He chuckled and leaned against the wall, the palms of his hands heavy against the wall above my head. I could smell him, and saliva pooled in my mouth. There was no denying the attraction I had to him. Still. Always. But he was dangerous, and nothing good could come of letting him see that I was affected by him.
I could feel the strength and anger roll off of him and the smooth pads of his fingers against my skin like it was yesterday. I closed my eyes, blocking out the arousal and the feelings and just everything. He pushed his nose into the crook of my neck, pulling a long breath, scenting me. I was so close to losing it.
“I don’t want you to touch me.”
My voice sounded small, even to my own ears. The battle between body and mind was fierce, but I was resolved to keep him away. There were still too many unanswered questions, and he was unyielding with his answers.
His face moved closer. I could feel his breath and smell the sweet scent of liquor on his tongue.
“You won’t stop me,” he whispered.
He sounded so sure I wouldn’t, and the fact was, I wasn’t sure either. He rendered me completely stupid. I hated it, and I hated him.
“This isn’t happening. You need to back off.”
He chuckled. “And if I don’t?”
Pushing his hips forward, he ground his erection into my stomach, making his intent clear. He was hard and ready, and my body was already showing signs of giving in. It’d been that way from day one. I was at his mercy, no matter what. He was like a drug, and I was jonesing. Hard.
It’d been so long since I’d felt him. So damn long since I’d had his hands on me. I’d dreamed about him regularly, almost to the point of distraction. I was a lost cause.
“Janie, I can’t let you run again. Even if I have to lock you up. I won’t let it happen. I’ve waited too long for you to come home.”
Smug satisfaction coated his words, and I was more than done listening to his power trip.
“Maybe I’d be less resistant if you treated me like a human being. I’m not your ‘thing’ to keep, Flynn. I never was.”
He pulled back and brought both hands to my jaw, cupping it gently and drawing my face closer to his. “You’re wrong, Janie. You’re my everything.”
Those tender words danced around in my head, but I sobered quickly, remembering similar words and the lies that followed.
I was back in that orbit where nothing made sense, and a ball of confusion and mismatched emotions slammed right through me.
“You don’t even know me. I’m just some... some idea you have,” I stuttered.
His eyes scanned my face, and traces of a smile started forming on his lips.
“I know enough. I know you’re strong, you’re beautiful, you’re smart and you have a kind heart. You don’t show it often, but I saw it. I don’t know anyone—no woman, no man—that would have sacrificed what you did to save a father that didn’t deserve it.”
My chin quivered, and I could feel my eyes start to tear up. “I’m no savior. I’m not a martyr, Flynn.”
Shaking his head, he brought his lips closer. “No, you’re not. You’re my bent-halo angel. I love the bad in you as much as I love the good.”
There was something very wrong with him. That was the only conclusion I could come up with. I’d already figured out that he was a bit... off, strange, but that comment nailed it.
“You like my bad, too?”
“I love your bad. I want your bad.”
My eyes fell closed, and I felt the moisture fall down my cheeks. I was losing. “I don’t trust you. Nothing works without trust, Flynn. You can’t talk your way out of everything, and you can’t pay me to be with you. This will never work. It didn’t work in the first place. It was a lie.”
“I don’t trust you, either. It does work. It did work before you left without giving me a chance to explain. I trusted you then, and you bailed. I never lied about my feelings, Jayne. Ever.”
I’d had enough—we were like fucked up poster children for dysfunctional crime families. The orphans of Sin City. It was stupid.
I was getting nowhere with him, fast. He was a stubborn, spoiled brat. He was relentless until he got his way, and he wasn’t getting it, no matter how good he smelled or how pretty he looked.
Raising my hands, I pushed at his chest and moved around him. “I’m not who you think I am, Flynn, and you’re exactly who I thought you were in the first place. I should’ve stuck with my instincts with you. I knew you’d fuck me up, and you did. Badly.”
Shoving myself away from him, I darted out of reach and went over to grab my bag so I could leave before I ended up on my back with my legs over his shoulders. It was coming. It would happen. Five more minutes in that room with him, and he’d be fucking me six ways to Sunday. My body was humming for him, and my heart was pleading with me to give in. It was time to put my head in the game and get the fuck out.
He stormed out of the room, and I took that as my chance to escape. I ran to the door and had barely gotten it open when he was back, slamming it closed and pinning me against it.
“This is what you came for? Well, here you go.”
He shoved a stack of bills down the neck of my blouse, pressing it against my chest with the palm of his hands. His forehead was against mine, and his eyes were blazing with anger. “I would give you anything. Everything. You think I give a fuck about money? You think that pussy of yours is worth a million and a half dollars? You’ll get paid, lady. You need more? You know where to get it. Now, get out!”
He reached around and opened the door, grabbed my shoulder, and shoved me out before slamming it closed behind me.
I all but ran down the hallway, completely hurt and humiliated. Things had definitely turned out worse than I figured, and as badly as I wanted to feel regret for the things I’d said to incite that kind of behavior from him, I didn’t. There was no reason to lead him on. I was done. I couldn’t go back.
But it hurt. So damn bad.
THIRTEEN
Running and hiding was exhausting. Wanting closure was on the top of the list of things I wanted, but the confrontation with Fly
nn was anything but. Instead of walking in there and taking what I thought I wanted, I left more bruised and more confused than ever.
Once I hit the casino floor, I found a place to sit and catch my breath. My heart pounded furiously and my hands shook like I had tremors. I was falling apart all over again, and if I thought it hurt the day I left Las Vegas, it was nothing compared to what I was feeling in that moment. I was completely devastated.
As I composed myself, I took in the excitement that surrounded me. Vegas personified. Thrills and experiences and greed. In my short life, I hadn’t really tasted any of the joy most of the people around me felt. Not really.
That oblivious sparkle in their eyes, the eagerness to play, spoils of the game, all of it. Something about the way they tossed their money away so easily triggered something inside of me, a deep resentment that I’d harbored for way too long.
One of the things my time with Jackson taught me was that my father was sick. It was a problem, not a way of life. Realizing and admitting that hurt me. I’d let my disgust and anger steer me in the same damn direction, and I was no better.
Money stole my life away.
At that thought, I remembered the cash Flynn had so callously shoved into my blouse. With a shaky hand, I pulled it out and shoved it haphazardly into my bag, feeling the heaviness deep in my heart. It sure didn’t feel victorious now that I had it in my hands. It felt ugly and disgusting.
I had to get out of there, collect my bearings. My gut churned thinking about going to that motel alone again. I was miserable, angry, and hurt. But I couldn’t stay inside the Maguire for a second longer.
I hot-footed it across the gaming floor and was almost out when I heard my name being called. I spun around quickly, colliding with the chest of a man.
I looked up, surprised and little startled until I recognized him.
“Alonzo Davidson.” I smiled as he moved forward to hug me, and leaned in as his arms wrapped around me.
“I heard you’d left Vegas. Welcome back.”