My Best Friend and My Man

by Cydney Rax

  “You may be sick of her, but you’re going to blow the plan if you confront her so aggressively,” I warn her. “Now, I didn’t even want to do this tonight, but you were all about it, so play nice. I don’t understand why you gotta blow up so often.”

  “I need to put Ms. Sparks in her place.”

  Ursula has so much emotion in her voice I’m seriously having second thoughts about inviting her. “You still need to chill. Some things are better off left alone.”

  “Yep, mainly your man. Demetria thinks we don’t know that he bought a car for her, but we do.”

  “Well, we don’t know how that played out—”

  “Keep acting naive,” Ursula snaps and returns to the living room.

  Seaphes stands in the middle of the room and grabs the microphone. “Alright, y’all, I’m going to draw the next few questions. Here’s one,” he says and begins reading. “How do men feel about ultimatums? Sounds like a question for the guys.”

  Chayo, one of Seaphes’s friends, answers, “Well, regardless of how we feel about them, I think it’s a mistake to give a man an ultimatum, because it can backfire. We’re men! And we’re not going to let just anyone intimidate us, including our women.”

  All the men nod their heads.

  Then Seaphes speaks up. “I think that some women figure if they give the man an ultimatum it will make him commit to them quicker. But you never should force someone to commit or to marry you.”

  “Sounds like you know that from experience,” Riley says. “I agree with the brother, though. Ladies, we shouldn’t be pressuring men to marry us.”

  “But what if y’all been dating five years? How long is she s’posed to wait? Her eggs are drying up and turning into ducks,” Fonya says.

  “Then let the eggs turn into ducks, whatever that means,” Riley laughs. “All I’m saying is true love shouldn’t be forced. If he’s the right man, and if it’s the right time, he’ll marry you when he’s ready. Same is true for commitment.”

  “But,” I say nervously. “What if he seems afraid of commitment?”

  “Maybe he’s not the one,” Riley replies. “And why would you want to be eternally linked to someone who really doesn’t want to be eternally linked to you? That’s where we make our mistake.”

  “Yep,” Ursula says. “That’s the truth. I saw the warning signs when I got married, they were as tall as the Sears Tower, but I was too blinded by desire and the fantasy of the perfect wedding.”

  “May I pick the next question now?” Ursula asks. I watch her closely. She slips her hand inside the box and pulls out a folded-up sheet of paper.

  “Hmmm, bingo,” she says talking loudly. “Have you ever slept with your best friend’s girlfriend or boyfriend?”

  “Hooo, boy!” Percy exclaims.

  “What, Percy? You touched some woman you shouldn’t have been touching?” Ursula asks.

  “Actually, no. I’ve peeped out a couple of my boys’ honeys, but nothing ever jumped off. I knew I had to defend my honor and his.”

  “Okay,” I say, “that’s easy. I have never slept with a girlfriend’s man and never will, and I don’t understand how anyone who calls themself a friend can do something like that. I mean, how low can you go?” I say, trying not to look at Demetria.

  “Seaphes?” Ursula asks. “You wanna answer that?”

  “I can swear on my grandmother’s grave I have never slept with my best friend’s boyfriend.”

  “Ha ha, funny funny,” Ursula says. She’s trying to be sarcastic, but she tilts her head and smiles dreamily at him.

  “Mike?” I ask.

  “Nope. Never. Next,” he says, shooting a look at Chayo.

  “Okay, okay,” Chayo says, lifting his hands. “A long time ago, in the nineties, me and my friend’s woman got our quickie on. They had broken up, though, that’s why. And she seduced me.”

  “No offense, but just because a woman throws it at you doesn’t mean you have to catch it,” I tell him. “Men have to learn how to say no. Think with their minds. Are you still friends with this guy?”

  “Naw,” Chayo admits and makes a sick-looking face.

  “See what I’m saying,” I tell him.

  “But it wasn’t because of that. I ain’t dumb enough to tell him that.”

  “But you’re dumb enough to tell us,” Demetria says, laughing.

  “No, I’m not dumb. We’re not friends…because he died…of AIDS.”

  The room grows silent.

  “Well,” Riley says, breaking the awkward silence. “It sounds like you learned from this, brotha, so you kept it moving from there, right? I mean true friendships are so hard to find. I’m sure you now realize it wasn’t worth betraying your friend just to get five minutes of pleasure.”

  “It was more like two point five!” Chayo says, giving us all a much-needed laugh. He gets serious. “But yep, you’re right. I still regret it to this day.”

  “Okay, Demetria, what about you?” Fonya asks, and I’m so glad she threw it to her instead of me or Ursula.

  “Nope, never. I would never do anything like that.”

  Ursula walks in a wide circle.

  “Okay,” she says. “I am about to throw up. You mean to tell me you gonna sit up here and tell a bald-faced lie that you have never slept with your girlfriend’s man? Please. You wrong, Demetria.”

  “Hey, hey, knock it off,” Seaphes says, sounding angry.

  “Hey, hey, why are you defending her?” Ursula spits back.

  “Why are you concerned that he’s defending me?” Demetria asks, getting up in Ursula’s face.

  “It just seems weird, that’s all,” Ursula mumbles. She gets up to move next to Percy. He’s staring at her like she’s crazy, but she ignores him and rolls her eyes at Demetria. “It just seems to me that Miss Popular Ass is being a hypocrite, saying we have to tell the truth and she isn’t.”

  “Ursula, are you implying I’ve slept with my best friend’s man?” Demetria asks. She sounds pissed. “Would that involve Seaphes?”

  Percy’s eyeballs widen. Seaphes looks calm and stares at Ursula, daring her to answer.

  “I mean,” Demetria says, “since you seem to know everything, why don’t you tell us who has slept with whom, especially if they’re sitting in this room?”

  “Oh, you don’t want me to go there. ’Cause I will do it.”

  “Then if you do, you may as well include your own name,” Demetria remarks.

  “Fine, screw it. Yeah, I’ve had sex with someone in this room. But I didn’t betray anyone to do it.”

  “Oh, then I guess your own husband doesn’t count?” asks Demetria.

  “I hate your rotten guts.”

  “Good, that means I’m doing my job right. Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom. I gotta drain my vein,” Demetria says, pronouncing her words with emphasis. I follow her out of the living room into the large master bath.

  “Vee, are you using Ursula to talk to me?” she asks me. “Why can’t you just talk to me directly? I thought we were girls.”

  “I thought we were, too, but lately…” I trail off. She starts hopping up and down on one foot, so I stand outside the bathroom door until I hear the toilet flush. She slowly opens the door and invites me in and takes a deep breath.

  “Listen, Vee. I’ve taken this quick moment to think, and there’s nothing I want to tell you except this. In spite of what you think, I do care about you, us. Your friendship is important to me. We go back a ways, and I don’t think you ought to let Ursula influence you to stand against me. Whether you realize or not, she’s still hot for Seaphes, and I think she’s using us both to take out her frustration over him rejecting her. That’s all it is, boo. How come this girl you said you can’t stand has that much influence over you? Think about it,” she says and leaves me standing alone in the bathroom.

  I’m wondering if I’m stuck on stupid, or if I am just a magnet for being played.

  Just when I’m about to return to
the living room, Seaphes walks into the master bath looking distressed.

  “Did you and Demetria talk?”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “I think there’s something you need to know.”

  Then Demetria steps inside the bathroom and closes the door. “Okay, Veron, it’s not easy for me to say this, and I’ve been struggling with whether or not to tell you. But yes, in case you’ve been wondering, Seaphes and I…we almost had sex before, but we didn’t go through with it. Seaphes didn’t want to do it. So don’t be mad at him for being tempted, because it wasn’t his fault. It’s mine—”

  My heart has stopped, but I find my voice. “What? How can you just tell me something like that? And you actually want me to believe you care about me and want to still be friends?”

  “Vee, listen to me. I know you’re mad, but please don’t lose your head. You have a good man here.”

  “If he’s so good how could he even think about sleeping with you?” I’m almost sobbing. “You’re both crazy. I can’t believe I ever trusted either of you.” I am breathing so hard now that my chest is heaving, a pain slicing through it that makes me want to go lie down.

  “Vee, I’m sorry, we both are. It was only one time, I swear to God.”

  “How did it happen, Seaphes, and where did it happen? You got her drunk at your place and she quickly dropped her drawers?”

  He just stands there looking pathetic and speechless.

  I feel so bad I can barely think straight. “I wanna go home. Gotta get outta here.”

  “No, Vee, please. Let’s just get through this party, okay? And try not to make a scene. We’ll all talk about this as soon as the party is over.”

  “Demetria, you are so selfish! Do you even know how stupid you sound? How in the hell am I supposed to be in a partying mood after that bombshell, huh? How could you expect me to simply pick up and move on after my so-called best friend nearly steals my man out from under me!”

  “It wasn’t how you think, Vee, I swear to God. He loves you, not me. He has pushed me away so many times I can’t count.”

  “Oh, so you’re saying you’ve tried to seduce him more than once?”

  “I-I—”

  “Shut up, Demetria! What on earth would make you try to get with him?”

  “I just…I have…I mean, I was selfish and jealous. And back then I didn’t care about your feelings; I wasn’t thinking right, I couldn’t think right. Yep, I wanted him at one time, but I feel different, now, Vee!”

  Ouch, I thought. Does she not care about the code? If you know that your girl likes another guy he’s completely off-limits. You don’t kiss him, go out to lunch with him, visit him at his crib, nothing. This girl is not my friend. “You know what? I can’t even think straight. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

  “Veron, if I could take it all back I would. Be mad at me. Hit me, curse at me. I deserve it. You’ve been a good friend to me, the best I’ve ever had. And I, I…I make these screwy decisions sometimes.” And she sits on the edge of the tub holding her hands in her face looking very distressed.

  Seaphes looks like he’s sick enough to call 911.

  Suddenly Demetria’s moans start filling the room creating a piercing and awful sounding echo.

  “Oh, shoot, okay, I’m cool. We’ll talk about this, girl, but please stop crying,” I beg her. “Pull yourself together. Just sit here. You can spend the time asking yourself what on earth would possess you to want to have sex with the man that you know I cared about, especially knowing that you were my best friend.” My voice catches. I almost wish she hadn’t confessed. I may never be able to look at her the same again.

  I put on my sane face and return to the living room. By then everyone is watching Waiting to Exhale.

  “Oh, this is my favorite part,” Fonya exclaims. “When Robin’s standing on that balcony cursing out Troy and throws an orange at him. I love this movie. One of the best I’ve ever seen.”

  “I don’t know about all that,” Mike says. “It basically blasts the brothas.”

  “Truth hurts, doesn’t it, Mike,” I say, hoping that no one can see my hurt.

  A little later, after Demetria has pulled herself together and emerges from the bathroom, Seaphes says, “Okay, this party keeps getting interrupted, but we gonna finish up these questions! Then ya’ll can do whatever you want. Now, let me pull a good one out the box.” He pulls a card and says, “According to your definition, what is the number one rule of friendship?”

  “That was my question,” Ursula says. “I want to answer. Number one rule for me has to be don’t cross anyone’s lines. Y’all discuss up front what you will put up with and won’t, and crossing the line will cause an ass-kicking.”

  “Okay, so what would be a line someone couldn’t cross when it comes to you?” Riley asks Ursula.

  “Me? They better show me proper respect in every way imaginable, or it’s going to be trouble.”

  “For me, a friend should always be dependable, don’t be flaky, and do not call me only when you need a loan, or a ride, or a babysitter,” Fonya adds.

  Demetria pipes up, her voice a little soft. “I’d like to know that my friends are there in the trenches. That no matter what we’ll be cool ’cause that’s how friends oughta be,” she says. “I mean everyone makes mistakes,” she says raising her voice over Ursula’s loud groans. “And friendships have their ups and downs like any relationship, but I would like to think if we value the friendship, we’d…” And she stops and looks down and starts toying with her fingers.

  Ursula rolls her eyes. “Another rule is: don’t be pushing up on your friend’s man. If you see she’s liking him, back the fuck off. I don’t care if he flirts, I don’t care if he’s super friendly, I don’t care if you’re both drunk; don’t do your girl like that ’cause you wouldn’t want anyone to do that to you.”

  “Look, Ursula,” Demetria yells. “You’ve just about tore your drawers with me. I’m sick you of talking sideways and acting like I don’t know who you’re talking about. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to leave.”

  “What you say, ho? This ain’t your house. Or is it? You moved in with Seaphes yet? He got you a new car and that’s always the first step.”

  Seaphes stands up. “Ursula, that’s enough. I didn’t buy Demetria a car, so talk what you know. I drove her to the lot so she could buy a car.”

  “Yeah, right, that bitch wouldn’t surprise me if she sucked your dick to use your credit.”

  “Okay,” Demetria says, “hold up, girl. Uh-uh. You gots to go.”

  “I ain’t going nowhere.”

  Seaphes speaks up. “No, I’m sorry, Ursula. It’s not Demetria’s house, but she and the others are my guests, and I will not let them be disrespected. So I’m sorry it has to be this way, but you’ve gotta get your things and leave.”

  “You bastard. You can’t throw me out. Your girlfriend invited me.”

  “Veron has nothing to do with this,” Seaphes tells her. “This has to do with you and your ignorant, erroneous comments. I don’t want you here, and I don’t care if Beyoncé invited you. Now go.”

  Ursula looks like she’s about to explode, when all of a sudden, Riley steps in.

  “Ting, ting, ting,” Riley says, waving her hands until she has everyone’s attention. “Okay, y’all. I don’t personally know you all, but I’ve been sitting here listening to people insult one another all night. I sense so much tension and anger between some of you. I don’t totally know what’s going on, but I guarantee you that whatever it is, it isn’t worth ruining a true friendship, believe me it’s not. Whatever happened…it hurts, but you gotta let it go.”

  “But you don’t know how bad this person hurt me,” I say, staring intently at Riley.

  “Have you ever hurt someone? Even unintentionally?” Riley asks. “We’ve all been wronged by someone in our life. Mother. Father. Sister. Boss. Boyfriend. And yes, even our best friends. But don’t allow hurt to remain in your
heart. Let it go.”

  “But it’s so hard,” I remark quietly. “I’m not there yet.”

  “Shoot, I’m not gonna let nothing go. Any bitch that does me wrong is gonna get what she’s got coming to her,” Ursula claims. “Backstabbing bitches. And who invited Miss Perfect?”

  “I guess we’re both on the buddy plan, sweetie, because Fonya asked me to come,” Riley says. “And I’m glad I did. It’s been great, but you guys, please listen to what I’m saying. Folks are dying every day—there’s war out there, killings, senseless tragedies. Life is too short to be bitter and carrying around a cancerous anger. Think about how you’d feel if something happened to your friend, and the next time you saw her was in the morgue, or lying in a casket? Wouldn’t that little fight you had seem like nothing?”

  I think about Riley’s question and slowly nod my head and stare at Demetria, who is avoiding my eyes.

  Just then the TV displays the ending to Waiting to Exhale. Whitney Houston, Angela Bassett, Lela Rochon, and Loretta Devine are gathered together in the final scene where they’re standing on the beach at night. And that friendship song is playing with the words:

  Count on me through thick and thin

  A friendship that will never end.

  Back in the day I loved that song. Sometimes the lyrics would bring tears to my eyes, because the words seemed to perfectly convey the importance of true friendship. Being there for your friends through their ups and downs. Standing by them when they’re right, speaking up when they’re wrong. But today the song brings another type of tears. Ms. Riley is able to say all that nice-sounding advice, because she isn’t wearing my shoes. Right now I’m just too hurt, and so, so angry.

  Unable to take it anymore, I stand up and run back to Seaphes’s bedroom. He follows me, and I swing around to face him. I’ve never been this hurt. “It goes without saying that I am so disappointed in you, Seaphes. I can’t believe you played me for such a fool. I trusted you.”

  “Veron, I’m so sorry. I know there’s no real excuse for this.”