Roses & Thorns: Conquer

by Bry Ann

  “I know you heard me. Be here.”

  He hangs up and my phone dings with the address. I can’t move. The phone slips from my hand. I don’t hang it up. I just stare straight ahead. Maria doesn’t drive for long before pulling over and commanding my attention. Her comforting brown eyes meet mine.

  “We going on a road trip, babe?”

  Lacey

  “Sven. Sven, don’t touch that!”

  I hurry over and swat his hand away from the fresh rolls I just baked.

  “This is for Thursday. Thanksgiving.”

  I throw my hands in the hair and search his eyes for understanding. I wait for the light to flick on. Oh, Lacey is preparing the turkey and the mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce and green bean casserole and fresh rolls... but there’s nothing. Sven’s face is completely blank. Slightly confused, even.

  Does anyone in this house celebrate?!

  “A long time ago, I made a promise to someone I loved in secret that I’d make them celebrate Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, things got complicated and I never kept my promise. No one, and I do mean no one, is stopping me this year. Not Miguel, not your Boss, and certainly not you and your grimy hands.”

  I glance up at him. His lips are curled up to form that signature smirk he is so well known for. Behind the devilish smile, I see his exhaustion. There’re bags under his red-rimmed eyes, and he’s lost quite a bit of weight.

  Not to mention that Adam and I haven’t spoken since the incident at the Chinese restaurant, and the fight that ensued afterward. We aren’t necessarily avoiding each other or anything, but he’s in his work cave, working twenty hour days, dragging everyone along with him. I’m trying to be patient. Trying to give him time to come to terms with the fact that I will not be left out of this. I’m giving him a few more days to bring me work. Work I can do to help stop Miguel from whatever hell he’s going to try to rain down on us. I swear, if he doesn’t come to me, I will break into his office and study every file and make my own work. I won’t sit back. I mean that with everything left inside of me.

  So that’s where we are.

  Sven, on the other hand, is Adam’s right-hand man, and Adam is in full mafia boss mode. He’s furious. I haven’t seen him this way since we met. It’s a little scary, to be honest. I can’t help the tinge of fear inside me, but I’d never let it show. He’d be crushed. It’s my secret to hold onto. What really matters is that I know he’d never hurt me. Not ever again.

  With all this going on, Sven has been dragged along and given a multitude of jobs I don’t know about yet. But I will.

  “Sit.” I lightly touch Sven’s chest and push him into the chair. “I’ll feed you.”

  I turn from him and go to the fridge. Since Rose’s death and letting Sven box with me, letting him see my skin, we’ve developed a weird sort of closeness. Sven is hard to get close to. He’s smug and cocky 99% of the time, leaving little room for anything else. So yeah, we’re close, but I don’t know who he is. I wonder if anyone does. Did Rose?

  Rose.

  My heart squeezes like it does every time I think of her. I quickly smash eggs into the pan. I can’t… not her… not right now.

  “So Boss told me about your ultimatum.”

  I spin around so quickly that I smack myself in the face with the spatula. My nose scrunches.

  “Ow,” I mumble, trying to rub the sting away. Sven chuckles. “Wh… what do you mean?”

  “Do you know what you’re doing, Lacey?”

  “Of course I do,” I mumble, turning back to the eggs. I don’t pull my eyes from the eggs, but I still know Sven is shaking his head behind me.

  Screeeeeechh!

  The sound of his chair scraping against the tile rings throughout the kitchen. Suddenly, all six-foot-something of Sven is beside me, immaculate suit in place. His dark eyes bore into me. They look cruel. I don’t think Sven would hurt me, but the way he’s approaching has me taking a step back.

  What is he doing?

  “Sven?” I whisper.

  He takes another step forward. My heart really starts hammering now.

  “Sven, what are you doing?”

  My voice is barely even audible at this point.

  “Are you scared?”

  The tone of his voice sends chills down my spine. Down my spine, straight to my core. It’s so cold.

  “Y-you wouldn’t do anything,” I stammer, trying to put more space between us. I squeeze my eyes. No. No. No.

  I’ve been a mess since the incident with Miguel, but no one can know. If they knew, it’d be even harder to get Adam to let me in on whatever he’s planning for Miguel. So, again, it’s my secret.

  “I asked you if you were scared,” Sven snaps.

  I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Adam! Help. Something’s wrong.

  Something cold and metal rubs against my upper arm. Instantly, all my fear vanishes. I’m empty. I shut off. I drop to the floor and huddle up to protect my face and major organs.

  “Lacey, it’s alright.”

  A firm hand wraps around my right wrist. I feel myself shaking, but I’m not emotionally attached to it.

  “Lacey.”

  The hand tugs hard on my wrist, forcing my hands to slip away from my face. I come face to face with Sven, gaze empty. He’s on his haunches in front of me.

  “I’m not gonna hurt you, alright? I’m just proving a point. If this is how you react to me half-heartedly trying to intimidate you, what are you going to do when Miguel finds out that you are the person giving Boss his information? That you are the reason he’s failing to take us down? Frankly, Lacey, I think you’re a pretty badass chick, but your weaknesses are too obvious to him.”

  Sven’s hands go under my arms, and he lifts me to my feet. Reality is slowly starting to drift back into focus.

  “Cut Boss some slack. He’s trying to keep you safe, mentally and physically.”

  Sven uses the spatula, which apparently is what he used to touch my arm, to scoop up the now probably-burnt scrambled eggs onto a plate.

  “Sven…”

  He spins on his heel, eyes daring me to challenge him. I stare at him for a long moment.

  “He still wants me. Whether or not I work behind the scenes, Miguel is still going to want me and at least this way I feel like I fought back.”

  “You’re being naive.”

  “The last thing I am is naive, Sven.”

  He smirks in a way that makes me want to slap him.

  “I’m not gonna fight with you. I think I did a great job proving my point. There’s nothing more to say on this topic.”

  “Of course you’d think that.”

  His smirk deepens. He lifts his eggs. “Thanks for the food, Lace. Looking forward to Thanksgiving.”

  He winks and walks out. I’m glad to see he’s feeling better, but man, he’s a lot. I mindlessly start cleaning my mess. I’m done for today. I want to be back with my daughter. I just want to hold her and feel her warm skin against me. I need her little toes and little fingers.

  Sighing, I throw all the pans in the sink. The water splashes over and makes a sloshing sound as it lands on the tile floor. I don’t even care. I’m just tired.

  “Lacey?”

  I spin around, taking one of the pans with me. My shoulders slump when I see him.

  “Adam,” I sigh.

  He’s leaning against the doorway. Somehow he doesn’t look like shit. All the hours he’s been working and the amount of rage he’s been exuding, I half-expected that when I saw him again, he’d look real bad. He doesn’t, though. He’s as put together as ever. Much to my relief, there’s a softness in his expression. It is faintly hidden by the mood he’s in, angry and authoritative, but it’s there. I need his heart right now, even if I don’t want to admit it.

  “Hey, hi, um, I was just going to get Rose after I finished cleaning.” I tilt my head towards the pans.

  “I don’t think you understand the concept of wealth. We have maids. You just go. They�
��ll clean it. That’s how things work around here.”

  He glances around the kitchen at the mess of food and pans. I think he wants to ask what it’s all about, but he doesn’t truly want to know. I shrug.

  “I’m here. I can do it. I’m not lazy.”

  Adam comes over and runs his hands along my sides, not gentle at all. It’s like he’s searching me, needing me, seeing if I’m real. My skin heats below his fingers. He hasn’t laid so much as a finger on me in days. I have to bite back a moan and fight the urge to lean back into him. I stay stiff and straight, biting my bottom lip as his hands run all over me. Luckily, he knows me. He knows me in and out.

  “It’s okay,” he whispers.

  He gently pulls my hips back into him so my back is to his front. With that one move, I let out the sigh I’ve been holding. I spin around and tuck my head into his shoulder. His hands continue to explore me.

  “It will all be okay, Lacey.”

  “You haven’t come to me,” I whisper.

  Silence.

  I try to pull away, but his hands dig into my hips, stilling me. He pulls me back slightly so he can look into my eyes. When I meet his eyes, there is a brick wall over them. He’s guarded. All of a sudden, my heart starts to shake. It’s not pounding; it’s a tingly, anxious feeling that takes over my entire mind and body.

  “Adam?”

  “The doorbell rang.”

  “Okay? I don’t usually...” I scratch my head. “Adam, you’ve never had me answer the door before.”

  “I know, but I’m gonna have you come with me this time, Lace.”

  He intertwines his hand with mine. I want to pull it away. He’s being weird.

  “Remember to breathe,” he says as he drags me to the foyer.

  “Adam, what’s going on?”

  In the doorway between the foyer and the hall, he turns to me, looking nervous.

  “Just breathe. I think this is going to come as a shock to you.”

  “What is?”

  He gives me one last nervous stare before taking my hand and pulling me into the foyer.

  NO. NO. NO. NO. NOT POSSIBLE.

  All the air whooshes out of my lungs. I slip backward several steps, shaking my head. This can’t be real. It’s a good thing Adam is here to steady me, or I would have fallen straight to the ground.

  Blue eyes. Blonde hair. Same face. No. This can’t be real. Adam’s hand snakes out again when I trip over myself as I stumble backward. I have tunnel vision. I can’t see anyone.

  “Lacey,” Rose cries. “I’m so sorry.”

  Like a hurricane, a whirlwind of blind rage overtakes me. I storm over to her before Adam can stop me. When I’m a foot away, I slap her square across the face.

  She stares at me in shock. No one speaks. No. One. I glare at her for a long time, before opening my mouth.

  “You’re a bitch, Rose Bellemore!”

  I run out of there before anyone can see me cry, before I can see the shock and horror on Adam’s face, because I hit her. I. Hit. Her.

  She’s alive. How is that possible? How? Is this why Adam didn’t say anything to me? He figured she might still be alive, and didn’t want to get my hopes up. Oh god, all the horrible things I said to him. I’m gonna be sick….

  My stomach swirls. I can’t hold this in. I sprint to the hall bathroom and throw myself over the toilet. Not even two seconds later, I’m violently puking. I hate throwing up. I…

  Oh god.

  I lean forward again. Sweat breaks out along my forehead.

  “Shhh, I got you.”

  A shadow passes over me. Calloused hands gently run along my hair, pushing it back out of my way even though I’m all sweaty. We stay like this for a while, Adam holding my hair back, rubbing his other hand in circles along my lower back, whispering “I got you” over and over until finally I slump back, smelly and sweaty, onto the tile floor.

  “I’m sorry for what I said to you. I didn’t mean it.”

  My voice is hoarse. I sound like a frog croaking.

  “Shh, don’t, Lace. Don’t.” He pulls me back so I’m fully resting against him. “I got you. You hear me? I’ve been working too much. I’ve been angry. So damn angry, Lace. I haven’t been here for you and I’m sorry. I’m really fuckin’ sorry.”

  I feel like I could cry. A team. We’re a team, and when we’re not, I feel it. I hate being this girl, but without him on my side, without him hearing me, I feel tired. So, so tired.

  “I’d kiss you right now, but I’m really gross. That was disgusting. I hate throwing up.”

  “We need to get you clean and we need to get some food in you. You’re shaking.”

  “I’m fine.”

  I am shaking, though. Like everyone does after puking their brains out. He laughs softly.

  “Of course you’re fine, but just for fun, I’m gonna call Cut and cancel boxing, put you in a bath, get you some mouthwash and have a member of our staff make you a grilled cheese. You gonna argue with that?”

  “No, but I don’t want to cancel with Cut. I never cancel with Cut.”

  I’m so trying to avoid the elephant in the room. It’s in the back of my mind, begging for tears, begging for answers.

  “So, you are going to argue with that.”

  His eyes are dancing with humor.

  “Please don’t cancel with Cut. I have to box.”

  He spins me around gently. I quickly turn my head so he doesn’t smell my nasty breath.

  “Babe,” he says softly, “we have more pressing things to deal with today, don’t you think? Tomorrow. I promise. Now let’s get you clean and fed.”

  Adam pulls me to my feet and gently places me against the wall. Adam places a chaste kiss on my forehead before turning away and slipping his cell phone out of his pocket. The tears I’ve tried so hard to hold back are starting to slip out now. It’s a combination of reality slowly creeping in, and throwing up so much. Vomiting makes me oddly emotional.

  “Cut,” Adam says into the phone. Voice firm, and so different from how he just talked to me. I can hear the low rumbling of Cut’s voice on the other end of the line.

  “Yeah, cancel Lacey’s session today.”

  Even though it’s not on speaker, I can still hear Cut asking if I’m okay. Of course, being Cut, he tries to make it sound like he couldn’t care either way. I know better. I know Cut cares about me a whole lot. It’s the only reason he’d put up with everything from me. Adam finishes up the call and turns back to me.

  “Come on.”

  He reaches his hand out to me. I take comfort in his warmth as our fingers intertwine. When we get to his room, I sprint for the mouthwash, floss, toothbrushes, anything to get the taste and smell of vomit out of my mouth. Adam makes me a cup of salt water and starts the bath for me as I violently scrub my teeth. I watch Adam as he sets up the bath for me. He’s taking such care in making it special for me. He puts bubbles, essential oils, bath salts, anything and everything he can in that bath, like the luxuriousness of the bath will somehow counteract the shock I received today.

  “You know,” he says, lips twitching, as I strip off my clothes. “Can’t say I’ve heard you call someone a bitch before. That was some slap.”

  I wince, trying to find it in me to feel bad. I just don’t.

  “She’s been alive! She’s been alive this whole time and didn’t tell me. It’s been more than a year, Adam. A year, and I’ve never stopped thinking about her. Never stopped looking. Never stopped praying. She let me suffer like that. We were supposed to be friends.”

  “You two are friends. You’ll get through this,” Adam says casually as I slip my body into the tub.

  I shoot up. “How can you say that! She let me think she was dead. Dead, Adam! I’m so angry! I’m so angry at her that I could hit her again, and key the word bitch into the side of her car and not feel the tiniest bit of guilt!”

  His eyebrows shoot up. “Wow, I had no clue you had this side to you.”

  “Oh, that�
�s not true. You know I do, and you like it.”

  He smirks. Mindlessly tracing his fingers along my arm, which I have laid out along the side of the tub.

  “Wanna know how you two will get through it?”

  I shake my head and turn away from him. He chuckles and uses his thumb to tilt my face back towards him.

  “You two have seen too much together. Been through too much to give up on one another. The kind of trauma you’ve endured together creates a bond, Lace. A bond that’s not easily broken. Mark my words, by the end of this year, you two will be tight as ever.”

  I scowl at him. “You know all about deep bonds all of a sudden, Mr. Ruston?”

  He smirks. “Been witness to a lot of them.”

  He winks and taps my nose before standing up, hovering over me. The shadow he casts over my relaxed body covers me entirely. If I didn’t trust him, I would be terrified.

  “I don’t expect you to forgive her yet. Hit her all you want. I could care less, but Lacey, I do expect you to try. I expect you to hear her out, and in turn she has to hear you out. You’ve wanted to get answers about her death for over a year now. Whether or not you like the result, you got what you wanted. Now you have to own up to it. You want to be involved with Miguel?” I sit up straighter. “Show me you know how to handle the consequences of your actions.”

  With a nod in my direction, he walks out. I have nothing to say. I’ve seen a lot of sides of Adam, but him talking to me like a real leader, a man of wisdom…

  I stare at the door in shock as a plan that could potentially ruin my marriage boils below the surface.

  “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, sir. That’s something you should keep stashed in that toolbox of yours. Maybe replace a knife or two with it.”

  Rose

  I desperately wanted Maria to come in with me, but I know this is something I have to do on my own. I know that, but right now… with my throbbing cheek and burning heart, I want my strong friend by my side. I know I’m shaking so hard that it’s visible to everyone who passes me. I don’t know why I’m surprised by Lacey’s reaction. I deserve it, but she’s always been so soft-spoken. I can’t believe she actually hit me and called me a bitch. So yeah, I do know I deserve it, but I keep having to rub my heart to ease the burn there.