The Privateer 2: AN HONEST LIVING

by Zellmann, William

  The man looked thoughtful. "Mmmmmm. Perhaps . . ." Suddenly his smile flared again. "It may be, Trader. It may just be." He turned and threw Dee a wink. "Aye. For now, though, I've got to find a stream that isn't a sewer, and wash my stump."

  Chapter 5

  The rest of their day also went well. Cale traded a dino hide for four complete sets of clothing for each of them.

  Early in the afternoon, Cale looked up to see a familiar figure approaching: the hunter from the forest village. It took Cale nearly half an hour, but he ended up with the other rainbow cat pelt, as well as three more dino pelts. The pelts were valuable here, and Cale was sure they would be much more so in King's Town. Meanwhile, their stock of Old-Time artifacts was dwindling, giving them a much more balanced stock. Dee was amused that Cale could even define 'balanced stock.'

  Evening approached, and Cale and Dee were beginning to close up the cart when the one-legged man came back. This time, though, he wasn't alone. He was accompanied by a short, tubby man leading an animal.

  "Trader!" The one-legged man greeted them. "I have brought a man with a donkey to trade."

  Ignoring both of the men, the tubby man walked over to where Dee was arranging their trade goods prior to packing them away. They were, after all, planning to move on just after dawn.

  "He's a widower," the one-legged man confided to Cale. "He's courting a girl who lives out toward King's Town. Offer him things a man would think a girl would like."

  Cale smiled his thanks, and strolled over to where the man was examining old-time metal artifacts. "Tess," he subvocalized, "Tell Dee he wants gifts for a woman he's courting," After a moment, Dee smiled. They moved to join the man. In minutes, they were the proud owners of a donkey, a homely, shaggy, equine beast almost five feet tall at the shoulder, and the harness required to hitch it to the cart.

  "It's trained to the harness," the one-legged man said. "I would not have brought him, else." He smiled. "I'm not as certain that he will be happy with the woman those pots and knives will buy him!"

  Cale chuckled. "And the dino pelt. Don't forget the dino pelt. And how do you feel?"

  The man cursed, but he was smiling as he said, "I had to go almost to the forest before I found a clean-running spring. And that water was cold!" He shivered theatrically. "But your woman was right, Trader. Even the cold water felt good on my stump, and the cream took away near all the pain, heat, and itch. I can almost feel the fever leaving my body." He turned to Dee. "My apologies to you, my lady. You are in truth a healer. Now, if the bathing doesn't kill me, it seems the blood poisoning won't!"

  They were much better equipped that evening than the evening before. The pot Dee carried to the inn was larger, in deference to their guest. And while Dee and the man guarded, Cale walked to the inn and bought a double armload of hay for the donkey.

  By the time day faded into night, they had a cozy fire and were sharing hot stew and warm, bitter beer.

  "I'll be honest with ye, Trader," The man said. "I've had little truck with traders in the past; they've always seemed like leeches, taking things of value and leaving trinkets. But you have no trinkets, only fine things. And you have traded value for value.

  "And you, Lady," he continued, turning to Dee. "You have saved what's left of my leg, as well as what's left of my life. And yes, I have heard you also saved a dying child today.

  "Once I was a mighty warrior. Now I am but a poor cripple." A puzzled look crossed his face. "King Karel gave me a fine bonus, in silver, when I lost my leg in his service. In the months since, I have had little desire to do more than to die drinking it up.

  "But now, that no longer seems enough. In saving my life, lady, it seems you have instilled in me a desire to do something with it.

  "All the time I was looking for that spring, and treating my leg as you ordered, my lady, I was also thinking. When the treatment made my leg feel so much better, it caused me to think even more. And I realized that if I simply drank up my bonus, I was just giving it to old Tell, down there." He waved a hand vaguely in the direction of the inn.

  "I also realized that Tell is probably a rich man from letting men like me drink themselves to death."

  Cale smiled. "So, you're planning to buy an inn?"

  But the man shook his head. "Oh, no. Well, maybe. Tell's a thief and a pig, and his women worse. No, it seems to me that a man can be both honest and rich. Especially if he is willing to think."

  He straightened and looked Cale in the eye. "Trader, I offer you a bargain. King's Town is two days from here. I will accompany you to King's Town. Along the way, I will tell you all I know of the town, and the people, and good King Karel." He shook his head. "It's a shame he is to die; he has been the best king on Jumbo for years. But he is old and dying, and his great-nephew, Ulrik, is too young and unskilled in kingship to survive the civil war that will surely break out."

  He shook himself, as though coming back from a long distance. "Anyway, I'll accompany you, and I'll work to help you, and I'll tell you all I know."

  Cale was trying to find a graceful way to refuse. He was concerned that if someone were that close to them for two days, they would inevitably spot inconsistencies, or catch them in lies.

  "And our part of the bargain?" he asked.

  The man grinned. "You and your lady are both much more learned than you pretend. You observe carefully, and know much. Moreover, you are from Valhalla. Everyone knows that many strange and wonderful things come from there."

  He shrugged. "I would like to have an inn. But not just a common inn. A soldier's inn. A place where guardsmen are welcome when they have ounces, and even when they don't. A place a soldier can know he won't be cheated, where the whores are clean and the games honest. An inn where a man can get a drink he can get nowhere else. I wish you to teach me everything you know about this 'vodka', and how it can be made from beer or wine."

  Cale chuckled. "I can tell you everything I know about it in ten minutes."

  But the man was shaking his head. "No. The longer people talk, the more details they remember." He gave Cale a shrewd look. "I'll tell you what. Let me travel with you, and I will arrange for you to see the King."

  Cale jerked. "The king? Uh . . ."

  The man waved Cale's objections away. "I lost my leg, not my brain. You were asking questions about King's Town all day. A lot of questions. And a lot of them were about King Karel."

  "I do not know why he is important to you, but he is. I offer the deal, but I will not close it until I know that you mean good King Karel no harm."

  Cale was casting about frantically for an answer when Dee replied calmly. "We mean King Karel no harm, Soldier. We have heard that he is a good king, and we hope that I may be able to help him. Perhaps he need not die, just as you did not need to die from the blood poisoning."

  The soldier fixed a furious gaze upon her. "Do you swear it? You have saved my life, Lady. Do you swear you mean only to help him?"

  Dee smiled. "I swear it, soldier. I wish only to save his life, if that is possible."

  Cale shook his head in decision. "We both swear it, Soldier. Ever since she has heard of the king's goodness and his illness, she has been determined to help him, if she can."

  The soldier's intense gaze had not lost its passion. "And then?"

  "Huh?" "Pardon?"

  "Then what?" the soldier persisted. "What will you demand of our good king in exchange for his life?"

  Cale sighed. "We are on a mission, Soldier, and we do have a favor to ask of the King. But you have my word that what we will ask will harm neither the king nor the kingdom, and that we will not ask our favor until after we have saved the King."

  "And if he refuses your request?"

  Cale shrugged. "I don't know yet, Soldier. All I know is if he refuses, he and you will probably never see us again."

  "And do you swear you are not agents of King Rajo of Valhalla?"

  Cale laughed. "That I can swear easily. We know his Chief Wizard, and he doesn't like us
very much.

  "And you, Lady?"

  Dee nodded. "I, too, swear it, Soldier. We mean the king no harm, only help. We will ask his help, but only after we have cured him, if we can. And we are not agents of Valhalla or any other kingdom on Jumbo."

  The soldier stared at them intently, in turn. Then he nodded, and his smile returned. "King Karel is a good and wise man. I was a member of his personal guard until I lost my leg. But I accept your word, and I will ask no more questions. I again make my offer. Teach me what you know of this wonderful drink, and I will make certain that the king hears of the new healer in town. More I cannot do. I no longer have access to his person. I do, however, have access to those who have access."

  Cale, somewhat overwhelmed by the soldier's deductions and questions, said he would have to think about it. He walked off into the darkness.

  "Tess," he said, "I need to know about simple methods of distilling alcohol."

  "The simplest method is called a 'pot still,' Tess replied. "It is a simple copper pot with a sealed cover. A mixture of fermented fruit or grain called 'mash' is placed in the pot and heated. Since alcohol vaporizes at a lower temperature than water, the idea is to maintain steady, low heat. The alcohol vapors are collected by a cap on the still, and routed to some means of condensing the vapors into alcohol.

  "Pot stills are very inefficient, however," Tess continued, "and it is difficult to control the temperature precisely enough to obtain alcohol vapors without also getting water vapors. Thus, with a pot still, it might be necessary to repeat the process several times. Each time the condensed liquid is distilled, the alcohol content rises, and the amount of distillate decreases.

  "The next step up in efficiency is the fractionating column still," Tess added. "However, at Jumbo's present level of sophistication, I suspect only Valhalla could produce one."

  "Why copper?" Cale asked. "I mean it's common enough on Jumbo, but why did you specify it?"

  "Most metals will leach into the 'mash'," Tess replied. "This affects the taste, and can actually make the liquor poisonous. Copper was the preferred metal for centuries."

  "And what is this 'mash' stuff?"

  "Mash is the term used for fermented grains, fruits, or even vegetables that produce alcohol. I gather it is similar to the fermentation of wine or beer. Originally, vodka was made from potatoes. Sugar or honey can be added to the mash to enhance fermentation."

  Cale sighed. "Okay, Tess. You're familiar with the technological status of Jumbo. Could these people make one of the 'pot stills'? And could they make it work?"

  "Apparently most of the early civilizations on Old Earth managed it. It seems a simple-enough procedure. Yes, I think you can make your soldier rich."

  The trip to Nirvana was longer, though easier, if no faster, than their earlier travels. The road was still rutted and dirt, but now they walked alongside the cart, instead of pulling it. The road was also wider, and less overgrown. Luckily, the weather had been clear and temperate.

  And the soldier kept peppering Cale with questions he couldn't answer. At their first stop for midday meal, Cale used a piece of charcoal to draw a rough sketch of a pot still, based on Tess's detailed description. Then Tess described something called a 'doubler', and Cale had to add it to the drawing.

  The soldier seemed to grasp the concept immediately, tracing the course of the vapors with a dirty finger. He kept asking Cale about what went into mash, but Cale felt that it would not be wise to provide too much detail. "My host would tell me little of the mash, only that it was fermented grain or fruit, similar to the way beer is produced." He shrugged. "If you wish to try it, it might be interesting to use the brewer's leftovers for your first mash. He did tell me that honey would make the process faster and stronger. I'm sorry, soldier, but if you really want to try producing distilled spirits, you're going to have to try, and maybe fail, several times."

  That evening, Dee noticed the soldier rubbing his left armpit. "Is the crutch very uncomfortable?" she asked.

  The soldier grinned. "It chafes worse than ill-fitting armor," he replied, "Even the padding helps little. But I cannot walk without it."

  Dee looked thoughtful, and Cale knew she was talking to Tess.

  "I met a man once," Dee began, "who had a leg made of wood. Since I was a healer, he allowed me to examine it. His leg was off above the knee, so you might have to do something differently; but here; maybe I can draw it for you."

  She drew a simple wooden leg, explaining the bucket on the end that held the stump. "it was made of leather, and fit loosely over the stump." she said, "It was padded with rags, to cushion the stump. Straps were attached to the sides of the bucket, which ran to belts around his thigh and his waist. This, of course, was to keep the leg from falling off. He was actually able to walk with it, though he still used a crutch for some things."

  The soldier grew excited. "Yes! I can see how it would work!" He carefully packed the baulks of wood containing both drawings into his bag.

  When Cale raised the subject of the nomads, the soldier regaled them with stories and descriptions that kept them enthralled through the night and the next day. Finally, in late afternoon, they reached King's Town.

  King's Town was quite respectably large. The soldier had explained that there was no designated 'market day' in King's Town; that the market was open every day. They had arrived too late to the market that day, but the soldier assured them they would be able to get a spot the next. He guided them to an inn, where they arranged barn space for their donkey, their cart, and even themselves. Neither Cale nor Dee was willing to allow the cart to sit in the barn unguarded. "Just as well," the soldier said. "The beds are full of bugs, and they rent four to a bed." He grinned. "If you aren't careful, you can wake up broke and scratching!"

  They spent the night in a relatively clean pile of straw, though it also had its share of insectoid residents. As was their custom on Jumbo, One kept watch while the other slept.

  ********

  ". . . ale! Pirates!"

  Cale was instantly awake and combative, jerking bolt upright. In the flickering light of the oil lamp, he saw a shadowy figure straightening in surprise at his movement. Without conscious thought, he slammed a fist into a barely visible crotch, and then threw himself sideways into one of the straddling man's legs, sending him sprawling. Cale rolled to his feet and threw a glance toward Dee. She was struggling in the grasp of a smaller, but obviously strong man. Cale spun around, launching a kick at his opponent's head. The man sagged into unconsciousness, and Cale turned his attention to Dee's assailant.

  But Dee wasn't waiting for help. Cale was just in time to see her scrape the edge of her boot down the man's shin and slam it into his instep. The man howled and his grip loosened, allowing Dee to spin and smash her right elbow into his nose, mashing it against his face with a spurt of blood, black in the flickering light. The man released Dee to move his hands to his face, giving her the opportunity to take a step back and swing a full-leg kick into his crotch. The man cried out and folded over, ending on his side in a fetal position, one hand on his crotch, the other on his ruined nose.

  Cale walked over to the moaning man and silenced him with a kick to the head before he turned to Dee. "Are you all right, dear?" He asked.

  Dee nodded, with a disgusted expression. "Of course. I can't believe I let that . . . that L'Rak sneak up on me! My self-defense instructor would be furious. I'm furious!"

  Cale chuckled with a mix of relief and amusement. "And you, Tess," he continued. "Pirates?"

  "I could have said, 'Wake up, Cale, Dee is being attacked.' But I concluded that your response would be more immediate and more effective if I merely shouted 'Pirates!'"

  Cale nodded, grinning. "Well, it worked. I was fighting before I was even fully awake."

  Dee nodded. "And you gave me the distraction I needed to deal with that . . . that . . . " She was too angry to find an appropriately disgusting word to describe her assailant. She saw Cale's wide grin, and struggle
d to regain control of herself. After a moment, she succeeded.

  "So," she continued in a calmer tone, "What now? What do we do with the garbage?" Surprisingly, she looked worried.

  Cale's grin faded. "From what I've seen of this culture, we should probably slit their throats." He shuddered and shook his head. "No. The fighting is over. I won't murder."

  For some reason, Dee's nod and satisfied smile irritated him.

  "On the other hand," he continued, "I don't want a bunch of their friends coming to visit because we're 'soft'." He paused, and after a moment, he shrugged. "Let's strip them naked, and dump them outside the door as a warning. Maybe humiliation will accomplish what murder could."

  Dee's smile broadened. It was a struggle, but they finally stripped the men of their odorous and insect-infested clothing, which they threw in a pile in the corner. They decided to keep the men's weapons; they might yet be needed. They dragged the now-semiconscious men to the barn's door, and simply tossed them onto the ground before closing and latching the door.

  Cale tried to go back to sleep, but it was hopeless; the adrenaline flooding his system barely let him relax at all. So, they were simply sitting around the oil lamp chatting when, an hour before dawn, someone began pounding on the barn's door.

  "Open, in the name of the King!" an imperious voice demanded.

  Cale and Dee exchanged glances, and then Cale went to the door and removed the thick plank securing it. He opened the door, and five men bearing naked swords swarmed inside. The leader swept a glance around, and then signaled his men to split up and search the barn. Then he turned his attention to Cale and to Dee, who was now huddled close to Cale.

  The man looked at Cale with an interested expression. "I am Sergeant of the King's Guard. You are the trader who came in yesterday from Ham's Town."

  It was not a question, but Cale replied with a surprised nod. The turned his gaze on Dee. "And you are the healer that accompanies him," he continued. Dee nodded silently. Suddenly the man's face relaxed. "And you came in with a one-legged man."