Dirty Secret

by Rhys Ford

  “He didn’t do anything,” she insisted as I was getting into the Rover. “He told me he kept paying Dae-Hoon because hyung felt they were still family, so he was responsible for him. He didn’t know about the blackmail. I swear to you.”

  Jae leaned over into my open window. We were close enough to kiss, so close I could feel his warm breath on my mouth. I parted my lips, taking what he felt he could give me, inhaling the kiss he couldn’t give me. His lips quirked to the side, and he looked away, eyes shining with amusement. His fingers closed over my forearm, and he gave me a quick squeeze.

  “I agree with nuna,” he murmured under his breath. David’s stepfather had followed us out, heading straight for the smokers’ area to light up. He watched us from his spot under the canopy, the smoke from his cigarette flying away from his face as the wind picked up. “Hyung wouldn’t hurt Dae-Hoon. Besides, everyone already knew he was gay. That’s why he was sent to Los Angeles.”

  I nodded, but my attention was still on Han Suk-Kyu. When I’d come back from the diner, he seemed very cozy with Kwon. It could be my back was up where Kwon was concerned. He was a predator, and I didn’t like him around Jae, but Jae could take care of himself. If anything, I pitied Kwon if he made a move on him. What Jae left behind, Scarlet would take care of. Still, Han Suk-Kyu’s beady eyes followed everything Jae and I did as we talked.

  “Watch yourself, okay?” I wanted to kiss Jae, so Han could see he was mine. It was childish and unnecessary, not to mention it would embarrass the hell out of Jae-Min. Once again, I reminded myself Jae was the source of cuddles and food. Not someone to piss off without just cause. “I’ll see you at home?”

  “Later,” he promised. “Now that Shin-Cho’s going to be okay, I’m going to head out to the old zoo at Griffith Park. The light’s shot for the buildings I wanted to hit up this morning, but it’ll be good there.”

  “Be careful,” I said. He rolled his eyes at me and stepped back from the Rover. “Well, at least call me if you get arrested for trespassing. I’ll bail you out.”

  In the end, I agreed with them about Seong. He wasn’t at the top of my list of people who’d want Dae-Hoon dead. If anything, he seemed to be the one person whose life most closely resembled Dae-Hoon’s. Except on all accounts, Seong’s turned out much better.

  Bobby’s truck was parked in front of my building when I got back. I found him sitting in Claudia’s chair with his feet up on her desk. I smacked his boots when I passed him, knocking them off. He swung an open hand at my ass, but I quick-stepped out of the way.

  “You should shuffle that quick in the ring,” he snorted. “It would save that pretty face of yours from getting banged up.”

  I debated another cup of coffee, but the pot was empty and the machine was off. Snagging a bottle of iced sweet tea from the fridge, I slid into my own chair and rocked back, popping open my drink. It was noon, and my office manager was nowhere to be seen. “Where’s Claudia?”

  “She went down the street to the farmer’s market.” He saluted me with a water bottle. “Said something about kale and strawberries. I’m holding down the fort. Not that there’s a lot to hold down. Do you have any clients?”

  “I’m picky,” I sniffed when he snorted at me. “And fuck you. I did you a favor with Trey, and look at how that turned out.”

  “True,” he conceded. “Trey’s an asshole. Don’t know what I was thinking. Kind of like when I do favors for you. Like finding an ex-cop who was there the night Bi Mil got raided.”

  “No shit.” I nearly choked on my tea. “Is he willing to talk to us?”

  “Yeah,” Bobby said. “But it gets even better.”

  “Dae-Hoon’s living in his basement?” I guessed.

  “Not that good,” he sighed, and shook his head. “He’s gay, and would you believe, he hooked up with some Korean guy he met at the bathhouse. They’ve been together for years. He can meet with us tomorrow morning around ten. I promised him I’d bring doughnuts.”

  “Fuck me.” I whistled. “I could kiss you.”

  “I’d take the fuck, but it would ruin our tragic and unrequited romance,” Bobby drawled. “I’ve also seen Jae cut an onion. I’d worry he’d do the same to your balls.”

  “What makes you think it’s going to be my balls he cuts?” I couldn’t stop smiling. If the cop could remember anything from that night other than a big black car, it would mean a welcome break.

  “Because I know your boy.” Bobby rocked back and forth, making Claudia’s chair squeak loudly. “If he got mad, he’d take revenge on you. Me? I’d be like the glass bottle on Trey’s dick. Once it’s broken off, it’s just trash.”

  Chapter Twelve

  “HEY.” I met Jae’s gaze in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. Dots of shaving cream speckled my jaw, and I pursed my lips into an air kiss for him, only to get some of the cream in my mouth for my efforts. I made a face at the taste and spit out what I’d gotten on my tongue into the sink.

  I’d spent the day successfully avoiding thinking about the dinner with my family, only to have it come rushing up to hit me as I stepped out of the shower. If there was one place I didn’t want to be that night, it would have been Mike’s house. I’d never been a coward, and running away from my problems, while attractive, never really solved anything, but pulling Jae into bed and staying there for a week sounded awfully good.

  “Let me take a shower first. Then we can get going,” Jae said, stepping past me. The towel around my waist grew uncomfortable when he began stripping off his clothes. It got worse when he slid his T-shirt off, and I could see the trail of bite marks I’d left on his shoulder and spine.

  “Hmmm.” I did my best purr and wrapped my arms around his waist, moving in close so he could feel my cock pressing up against his ass. “You know….”

  “Out.” His hands worked my arms free, and Jae turned around, pushing against my chest. “Go get dressed. I pulled some clothes out for you. They’re on the bed.”

  The door shut in my face before I could protest my rough treatment, and I gave in to a small sulk. Luckily, Neko was in the same mood, and she mewed at me from her place on the bed, clearly disgusted by the presence of my pants and shirt on her lounging area.

  I got dressed in the charcoal-gray slacks and dark-red button-up shirt he’d laid out for me. It would have been more comfortable going over in jeans and a T-shirt, but from the looks of things, Jae had other plans. I left off the tie. There was only so much dressing up I was going to do for my own execution.

  Jae’s keen gaze skimmed over the open collar of my shirt when he came out of the bathroom, but he didn’t say anything about my lack of tie. He dressed quickly, much quicker than I would have liked, but I had no complaints at seeing him in black dress pants and shirt. To be a pain in the ass, I offered him the ebony silk tie he’d put out for me, but he slapped my hand away to go look for a pair of socks.

  We were quiet leaving. I wanted to ask him about his day, the parts I hadn’t been involved in, but Jae didn’t seem in the mood to talk. Turning the CD player on, a whispering, sensual Korean song seeped out of the Rover’s speakers. He smiled at the music, and his hand reached over to grasp mine. Talking was no longer important after that.

  An unfamiliar sedan was parked on the circular driveway of Mike and Maddy’s Hollywood Hills home. I pulled the Rover up behind it and turned off the headlights, leaving enough room to turn around if I wanted to make a quick escape. The garage doors were closed, effectively cutting off my sneaking in through the back door that connected the carport to the rest of the house. The sleek contemporary house was private, overlooking the canyons, and its large square windows were lit up bright enough to cast shadows on the front walk. I could see people moving around behind the sheer curtains on the lower floor, and I swallowed, bracing myself for the inevitable.

  “It’ll be okay,” Jae promised me, brushing his hand across mine. “I’ll protect you.”

  I laughed, imagining my slender, muscular lover standi
ng up to a man who’d carried fifty-pound packs through jungles for a living. Still, it was easy to slide my fingers into Jae’s grip, gathering strength by touching him. I rang the bell, and its cheerful toll chimed through the house. A few seconds later, Maddy opened the door, and I was lost in her tight hug, nearly dropping the bottle of expensive wine I’d bought to look civilized.

  They’d just gotten together when Rick’d been killed, so to say Maddy had seen me at my worst would be an understatement. She gently bullied me through physical therapy, pointing out she’d done it as well, and kicked its ass. When a tall Nordic woman with a gap-toothed smile, and missing the lower half of her legs challenges you to beat her doing curls, no man with his balls in the right place would let her down.

  I had my ass handed to me. Wrapped up in a pretty bow, and all.

  Her short blond bob tickled my nose when I leaned in close. I thought I heard my ribs crack when she tightened her embrace; then she let me go with a hard slap on my ass. Maddy had Jae in a bear hug before I could warn her off, and he gracefully didn’t growl or bite her. Her enthusiasm surprised him before his prickly nature could kick in, and she stepped back just as quickly as she’d snagged him, clasping him on the shoulders to get a good look at him.

  “Oh, he’s so beautiful, Cole,” she crooned at me over her shoulder. Winking at Jae, she said, “It’s good to finally meet you. Mike’s told me nothing about you, and Cole’s just as close-mouthed.”

  “Jae, this is Maddy McGinnis, scourge of fellow architects and runners,” I said, waving my hand between the two of them. “Maddy, this is Jae-Min Kim, photographer extraordinaire, and a man with the poor sense to get involved with me. Don’t scare him off. I haven’t had him long, and I’d kind of like to keep him around.”

  “It’s good to meet you.” She finally let go of Jae, and he gave her a slight bow, tucking his shoulders in. “I’m glad you could drag Cole to dinner.”

  “He asked me,” Jae murmured politely. “I only had to drag a little.”

  “I actually told him I needed him. He promised to hold the door open so I could bolt,” I said. A pair of slim gray curves rested near the bench in their foyer. “Hey, are those new legs?”

  “Yeah, they’re made for running. Aren’t they cool?” She grinned at me and tugged up her trousers so I could see her left foot. It curved naturally into a two-inch open-toe heel, ending with delicate crimson-painted toenails. “These are new too. They’re adjustable, so I can wear flats or heels. I’m trying them out, but so far, I like them.”

  “And they fit into your legs?” I picked up the flexible curve by the bench. Its bottom was wider than her other running legs, made to slide into a knee socket rather than fitting into her leg connection. The foot attachment resembled a tank tread, and I tested its spring back on my hand. “I kind of liked the other ones.”

  “Those are for sprinting.” She laughed. “These are for long distance.”

  “The other ones are these cool metal blades,” I informed Jae. “I kept telling her to sharpen the edges so they were like knives, so when she ran, she could kick out and take people down like a ninja. She didn’t seem to like that idea.”

  “People would tend to notice if I left legless people behind me when I ran,” Maddy laughed. “They’d think I was contagious.”

  “Think of the terror you’d strike in the hearts of your competitors,” I suggested, putting the foot down. “Mad Dog McGinnis, pestilence incarnate.”

  “You’re silly,” she said, taking the wine from where I’d put it down. “I’m guessing this is mine?”

  “You think I’d drink something as girly as wine?” I fell into step behind her. Jae hovered by the door, and Maddy turned to look at him questioningly. I glanced back, and he looked down at his shoes, finally deciding to slide them off his feet.

  “I feel odd walking into a house with shoes on,” he explained to Maddy.

  She laughed and nodded. “Hey, you’re talking to the person who leaves her feet by the door. I understand. Come on in to the kitchen, and grab something to drink. Then we can go outside together.”

  The house was a canvas of crisp lines and retro furniture. Maddy’s taste ran to an updated British Mod vibe. I asked Mike how he felt living in a set from Velvet Goldmine. He gave me a blank look, and said he didn’t care what the house looked like, so long as Maddy lived there. That being said, I was shocked when he told me he’d replaced the kitchen floor. Neither the house nor Maddy were Spanish tile friendly.

  So it was no surprise to see tatami mats covering the tile.

  Maddy spotted me glancing down at the floor and shook her head. “We’re not talking about it. I’m going to San Francisco in a week. It’ll be gone when I get back.”

  I opened my mouth to speak, and she shot me a dangerous look. Holding up my hands, I begged off the scolding. “I was just going to ask where everyone was.”

  “Outside on the patio. Mike thought it might be better if we ate out there. The girls are using the pool,” she said, softening her voice. “You ready for this?”

  “Yeah.” I helped myself to a beer from the fridge, offering one to Jae. Twisting open my bottle, I took a big gulp. “Let’s go do this.”

  HE’D changed.

  My boogeyman was slightly older, a little more wrinkled, and the brown hair I’d inherited from him was now shot heavily with silver. There was a slight slump to his shoulders, but they were as thick as I’d remembered. His Irish complexion ran to a ruddy bronze from the time he spent out in the sun, and the hair on his exposed forearms was nearly blond. I must have grown a bit since I’d left home, because I topped him by an inch or so, but from the belligerent jut of his jaw, I’d say he took it as a personal insult he had to look up a little bit to meet my gaze.

  Oddly, as I stared at my father for the first time in over a decade, I couldn’t pinpoint what I felt. The anger and confusion in my head seemed distant, an echoing refrain of a fight I could barely remember having. Behind me, I heard Jae asking Maddy about the succulents she’d planted on the hill behind the house, and the squealing laughter of the three young girls playing in the yard’s brightly lit, black-bottomed pool.

  His hard green eyes followed me as I walked across the patio, narrowing when I stopped to slap Mike on the back to say hello. They became slits when a slender, coltish teenage girl splashed out of the pool and slammed her soaking wet body into mine.

  “Cocoa!” I didn’t care that Tasha was dripping wet and my shirt would probably suffer from the chlorine in the pool water. Her arms came up around my neck, and I hugged her tight, lifting her off the ground easily. The tiny toddler who followed me like my own babbling shadow somehow had become a beautiful young woman.

  “Hey, Tazzie.” My heart seized up, and I found the air in my lungs too scarce to keep me alive. I closed my eyes and cradled her head, refusing to let her go until I’d gotten my fill of holding her.

  It was Mike who broke us up, rapping me on the shoulder. “You need to meet the girls, Cole. Have Tasha introduce you.”

  Strange couldn’t begin to describe how I felt being introduced to my own little sisters. They looked like echoes of Tasha, snapshots of ages I’d missed. The middle one, Bianca, was about twelve, and a bit owlish in round black-rimmed glasses, but her shy smile was welcoming. Unlike Tasha’s waist length locks, she wore her hair in a bob similar to Maddy’s, and judging by the hero worship in her blue eyes when my sister-in-law came out with a tray of food, she’d chosen her hairstyle to purposely emulate her idol.

  “And this is Mellie,” Tasha said, waving her hand in an elaborate flourish at the littlest one. Leaning in, she whispered into my ear. “I told them all about you, Cocoa. So don’t try to pull any of your nose-stealing tricks.”

  “Hey there, Mellie.” I crouched, so we were at eye level. She studied me with a serious intent only a five-year-old could give.

  “My real name is Melissa,” she finally announced, lisping through her missing front teeth. “Daddy says you’r
e a fucking frigate.”

  I’d never actually been in a moment where the world stopped, and I could have heard a pin drop if there’d been one to toss on the floor. I definitely was in one now. It was kind of funny to see the reactions of everyone around me as they figured out the real word my little sister meant to say. There was a moment of comprehension, then a look of abject horror.

  “Tasha, why don’t you take your sisters and clean up so we can eat dinner?” Barbara limped carefully through the french doors off the living room. “Shower the chlorine off. You’ll be itchy if you don’t.”

  Tasha shot me a sympathetic look as she hustled our younger sisters into the house. Mellie went easily enough, but Bianca was a bit more reluctant, casting a soulful look back at the pool. I finally stood up, wincing at the twinge in my side as my scars feigned abuse.

  Where my father wore the decade hard on his face and body, Barbara looked as if barely a day had passed since I’d last seen her. Her hair was different, a brighter blond and curling down to her shoulders, but her face was smooth, and with only a whisper of makeup to enhance her eyes. Leaning on a purple metal cane and dressed in a pink sweater set, she was a fine representation of the Junior League chapter she belonged to.

  Seeing Barbara brought back memories of hot chocolate chip cookies and glasses of cold milk waiting for me after school, campouts in our backyard in a shoddily erected tent, and the first kiss I got from another guy, which happened, oddly enough, in the front seat of her Toyota.

  Unlike my father, seeing her hurt, and I had to turn away, my eyes burning, because, just like the last time, she did nothing to defend me.

  I needed air. Strange, since I was outside, but I needed space. Keeping my pace steady, I strode past Jae and back into the kitchen. He reached out for me as I went by, our hands brushing briefly. He cocked his head questioningly, then followed me, a lithe, fearless shadow I’d knowingly tossed into my own personal hell.

  “Don’t go after him, Barb,” I heard my father say. “That faggot always ran from a fight. Why should now be different?”