The Object of His Desire

by S. R. Watson

  As I climb into bed, I contemplate what I need to do. I need to find some time to tell Peyton about my history with Landon. She is the only person I’ve ever told about my sordid past and she still stuck by me so I know she can handle this. I’m not interested in being a man-stealing whore. I just need to occupy my mind with other shit. Classes start in a few weeks, but until then, I need to stay out of his way as much as possible.

  I’M AWAKENED BY THE bright rays of the sun filtering through my light colored curtains. I grab for my phone on my nightstand and see that it is almost noon yet again. I normally don’t sleep in this late, unless I’m hungover, but my mind just wouldn’t shut off last night. Images of Landon and I during a happier time, flooded my thoughts—successfully deepening my longing for the one person I can’t have. I ease out of bed and get my bath caddy. The apartment is completely quiet so I guess Peyton and Giselle are still at their sorority meeting and I’m guessing Landon is still at football practice. I indulge in the shower for I don’t know how long. It isn’t until I step out of the shower, that I realize I forgot my clothes on my bed. I peek out the bathroom door and the apartment is still quiet. Great, I’m still alone. I towel dry my hair as much as possible so I don’t leave a trail of water down the hall. The only towel available to wrap around my body would be too short to fully cover my ass. I wrap the towel around me anyway and take one more peek down the hall. The coast is clear so I make my way to my room. I’m mere yards from my room; when the front door swings open and boisterous laughter fills our apartment. Gavin, Michael, and Landon stop mid-stride when they see me. The laughter fades as their eyes bulge.

  Landon is quick to push them back towards the door before slamming it—locking them out. I run to my room while his back is to me, but he follows me into my room.

  “What the fuck are you doing Nevaeh?” he yells. Yeah, it doesn’t go unnoticed that he has dropped the pet name.

  “What do you mean? I didn’t know you and your football goons were going to be coming through the door.” How dare he? “They didn’t see anything anyway.” He stealthily walks toward me with more swagger than any man has a right to possess.

  “What about what I saw, hmmm?” He reaches for my towel before fondling the ends. “You have way too much ass for this towel doll.” He is so mercurial.

  “Fuck you asshole.” I know that I don’t have the physique his girlfriend has, but who in the hell does he think he is. He doesn’t have to like my curves. They’re not for him.

  “That wasn’t an insult. I can’t help but admire how nicely you’ve filled out.” His grip loosens on my towel somewhat, but he doesn’t let go. “You’re fucking driving me insane, you know that? You can’t walk around the house this way even if you think you’re alone. You see how quickly that can change.” He lets go of my towel, only to run a single finger down my chest. I slap his hand away because now he’s just toying with me.

  “Get out Landon,” I say calmly. I don’t want him to see how worked up he has me.

  He smiles knowingly as he leaves. “Just remember what I said.” Once he pulls my door closed, I sink to my bed. I hate that my hormones get so fired up in his presence, to the point I can’t think logically. We’re on dangerous ground and I don’t think this is going to end well. I can hear his football buddies giving him shit on the other side of the door about it taking so long for him to let them back in. The voices then lower so I can’t hear Landon’s response. When I hear Peyton and Giselle’s voice maybe five minutes later, it hits home how close Landon came to being caught in my room. I’m going to need to talk to him about his flirtation. I know I’ve participated, but we need to stop. It’s simply not right. I quickly throw on the shorts and t-shirt lying across my bed so I can join them in the living room.

  Gavin and Michael grin when they see me. “Good afternoon Nevaeh,” Gavin winks. Neither guy mentions our previous run in just a few minutes ago so Landon must have shushed them.

  “Afternoon Gavin,” I reply. “Hello Michael.” Michael nods.

  “I left my number on your night stand Thursday night when we came back from the beach. Were you planning on calling me?” Gavin closes the distance. Landon is talking to Giselle, but I feel his eyes on me.

  “I didn’t even see it,” I give as an excuse, but it’s true. “It may have fallen on to the floor.”

  “Hmmm. Would you have called if you did get it?” he points out. “I only ask about your intent because it seems someone else has your attention,” he accuses. Shit. Am I that transparent? I don’t have to guess at what he’s insinuating.

  “Nobody has captured my attention Gavin. For God’s sake, I’ve only been here a few days. Are you always this pushy?” He leans forward so that he can whisper in my ear.

  “From the holes that Thor is burning in the back of my head right now, I call bullshit babe. His caveman act earlier didn’t go unnoticed either. He’s a little too protective over someone he isn’t fucking, but hey, what do I know?” I look over his shoulder at Landon. It looks like he is going to grind his molars to dust; his jaw is clenched so hard. I push Gavin away just enough to get him out of my personal space, but not enough to bring attention to us.

  “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” I whisper hiss. Peyton joins us, so our private interaction is interrupted.

  “Hey you two. We were just talking about going to a frat party tonight. Our brothers are throwing it. It will be a great way for Nevaeh to get broken into student life,” she jokes.

  “You know I’m always down for a party. Besides the closer we get to actual football season, coach will have our asses on lockdown,” Gavin smirks.

  “Yeah, no drinking or late nights are in our near future brother,” Landon says as he walks up and slaps Gavin on the shoulder.

  “Let’s do this,” Giselle squeals. “Nevaeh, you get to wild out on your fourth day here,” she laughs. “Shopping time.” She does some celebratory dance and I can’t help but giggle.

  “Well come on. We don’t have time to stand around. We have to get ready,” Peyton says. “Nevaeh, go get dressed. We’re going shopping and Giselle takes forever.” I know it is pointless to argue with her when she gets like this and I actually do need clothes. It takes me no time at all to get ready and we’re out the door within twenty minutes.

  We spend the day getting pampered. We get mani-pedis as well as some shopping before grabbing an early dinner at a Chinese bistro. When we get back, we spread our buys on Giselle’s king size bed. I try to get the mental image of her and Landon in this bed out of my head. Peyton hands me what I call “ass shorts” while Giselle takes one of the FSU shirts I just bought and begins cutting it up. Great. I’m going to be falling out everywhere. I leave to take my shower while the girls put together my slutty look. That and to get in the shower before Peyton. I could have sworn I heard a knock on the door while in the shower, but when I dial down the water, I don’t hear anything. I finish my shower and begin to dry off. I plainly hear the knock this time. I crack the door open—shocked to see Landon on the other side. I have a towel wrapped securely around me, but his eyes drink me in anyway.

  “Landon, what the fuck are you doing? Giselle is in the next room. We can’t keep going down this this road,” I warn.

  “Are you finished?” He arches his damn eyebrow at me and I swear I’m losing the battle to my libido. He’s making me feel things I shouldn’t. He dressed in jeans and a fitted black t-shirt that outlines every etch of his masculinity. He is a walking wet dream.

  “Just wanted to catch you before Peyton and Giselle got a hold of you. Don’t feel obligated to wear that shit they came up with for you.”

  “What . . . ?” I don’t get to finish my objection because he walks off. Why is he concerned with what I’ll be wearing? I haven’t given it much thought, but he will not be cock blocking while he has a girlfriend. He needs to worry about what Giselle is wearing. I’m just trying to figure out how I’m going to get the clothes from them, when the
re is another knock on the door. I’m ready to tell Landon to piss off, but it’s Peyton with my clothes. I change quickly while letting my hair air dry in loose waves. The shorts barely cover my ass cheeks and the shirt is cut in a deep V and stops just above my navel. This is slutty to the nth power, but looking at Peyton I can see she is in a similar get up. Giselle comes down the hall with the same look, but with cowboy boots. I’m not a prude; this is just more skin than I’m use to showing. Fuck it. This is my new chapter.

  “Come on ladies. Gavin and Michael are riding with us again. They’re waiting for us in the truck,” Giselle informs us. I put the last finishing touches of my make up on, grab my phone, and follow the girls out of the door. The men whistle when they see us, but even in the dimly lit truck I can see Landon is not as impressed. I take my seat in the back.

  The ride over to the frat house is boisterous. The music is cranked up and everyone is in party mode except Landon and me. I can’t get hyped for wondering what the hell is eating him. I need to turn these feelings off. He is not my concern. We come to a stop at a row of frat houses. Vehicles line the street and half naked women are everywhere. I will definitely be in good company. Peyton and Giselle get out of the truck on the same side as Gavin and Michael. I on the other hand make the mistake of getting out on the left—same as Landon.

  “Decided to be unoriginal huh?” He says as he closes his door.

  And just like that—the gloves are off and we’re back to square one with him hating me. “What the fuck? It’s no different from what your girlfriend is wearing asshole.” I can’t believe him right now.

  “Proportions babe,” he smirks.

  “Are you calling me fat?” I’m beyond furious.

  “If the shoe fits, but hey, Gavin may like plus size.” He walks off telling Giselle to wait up. I’m frozen against the truck. Hurt and anger fuse into one giant, emotional storm. That was seriously fucked up. I will not cry. I try to tell myself his opinion doesn’t matter because he isn’t mine. Maybe the universe did me a favor by helping dodge that head case. Peyton comes around the truck to grab my arm—oblivious to Landon’s jab beforehand.

  “Come on. No need to be shy. Let me introduce you to some of my sorority sisters.” Peyton leads me through the party, making introductions as she goes.

  I’m not going to remember any of these people. I’m just grateful that it is somewhat dark and I don’t stand out. Peyton grabs us drink after drink in red Solo cups. I wanted to swear off alcohol, really I did, but tonight it is greatly needed. I have no idea what the hell these drinks are, but with every drink, Landon’s comments matter less and less. As the drinks begin to catch up with me and the room begins to move underneath my feet, I find the nearest couch and take a seat. Unfortunately, Landon and Giselle are in my direct line of vision. They are grinding on each other and I think I’m going to throw up. Some guy just as drunk as I am sits next to me and begins talking about God knows what. I pathetically pretend to listen in an effort to erase the visual before me, but it’s useless. I lean my head back and close my eyes, but the room is still spinning.

  “Are you okay?” I look up into the eyes of Gavin. Landon’s comment about him maybe liking plus size girls come back to the forefront and my eyes water. Only because I know it was said to be hurtful. I quickly wipe my eyes.

  “Yes, just tired. I’ll be fine.” I remember his accusations from earlier so I’m not too happy with him either.

  “Let’s round up the others. I’m ready to call it a night myself.”

  “You don’t strike me as the type of guy that turns in early,” I say stumbling as I try to stand. Gavin grabs me by the waist so I don’t bust my ass. He shakes his head and I know that he is experiencing the same déjà vu that I am right now.

  “When you play football at this level, you have to take care of your body. I don’t come to these things for a hook up if that’s what you’re asking. I blow off a little steam and then I’m good.”

  “I wasn’t asking,” I reassure him. He just chuckles, but he doesn’t let me go until we reach the truck. He unlocks the door and makes sure that I’m in my seat okay. “I’m going to get the rest of our group. Stay put alchy.” I must have fallen asleep because next thing I know, I’m awakened by Peyton’s drunken laughter.

  “Gavin and Michael, you guys take care of those two. My girl and I have some things to take care of,” Landon grins. Giselle pulls him in the house. Gavin looks at me for my reaction, but I don’t give him one. When we finally get upstairs, The Weekend’s “Earned it” is playing in Giselle and Landon’s room. The distinct sound of shit falling echoes throughout the apartment.

  “Well damn. That’s our cue to leave Mike,” Gavin jokes.

  “Yeah, at least one of us is getting it in tonight,” Mike, says joining in on the joke. I smile only because I know Gavin is waiting to see if I crack. It would be the confirmation he needs.

  “Goodnight guys,” Peyton slurs. “Nevaeh, lock up.”

  I wave the men out the door. As soon as the lock is in place, the sound of a headboard beating against the wall accompanied with Giselle’s moaning fills the air.

  It’s too much. I rush to the bathroom and vomit into the toilet until I’m dry heaving. Giselle and Landon’s fucking plays in surround sound as I hug the toilet emptying my stomach. I can’t stop the tears that join this fucked up pity party for one. I only thought I was hurt from his hateful words. Hearing him fucking another woman—his girlfriend no less, puts things into perspective. I need to move the fuck on. When I’m sure that I’m done, I drag myself off the floor to wash my face and brush my teeth. I will never be able to unhear the sounds Giselle is making right now. If heartbreak had a sound, this would be it. I’m forced to pass their room to get to mine. The banging shreds my heart just a little bit more with each thud. When I finally get to my room, I strip down to my panties and bra and crawl underneath the cover. I put my own ear buds in to drown out their throes of passion.

  Was this his plan all along—my payback? Flirt with me; unleash my unresolved feelings and then bam! Make me listen to him fuck the hell out of his fine ass girlfriend after pointing out that I’m fat. You win Thor. Landon no longer exists. Not for me anyway. I think I’ll take Giselle’s advice and find me a “Welcome to Florida piece.” This virgin shit is for the birds anyway. Once I cross that task off my list, I can just have fun. New chapter. I will keep saying it until I embrace it.

  THE SUN SHINES THROUGH my curtains, but I’m content to hide out under my blanket and not come out. I cried so hard and long last night it hurts to even blink. Peyton came by once to check on me, but I pretended to be asleep. I’m not ready to face Giselle or Thor. Giselle hasn’t done anything wrong, I just need to figure out how to banish these feelings I have for her man. Peyton comes back a few hours later and this time she plops on my bed.

  “Get up Nevaeh. It’s almost two in the afternoon.” She pulls the covers back and I groan.

  “I’m not feeling well.” It’s not a lie exactly.

  “You need to eat. Let me get you some Tylenol. I had another hangover when I first got up too.” She leaves and comes back with the pills and a glass of water. “Put some clothes on so you can come say goodbye to Giselle.” That got my attention.

  “Where is she going?” I ask.

  “Her grandfather fell and broke his hip. She’s going home for a week to help him get settled at her mom’s house. It’s also a chance for her to visit her family since she hasn’t been home since the Christmas holidays.”

  “Is Thor going with her?” I shouldn’t even care. Damn it. I’m going to have to work on that.

  “No. He has practice.” She throws a black maxi dress at me that she pulled from my drawer. “You seriously need some more clothes. We didn’t have time to get a lot yesterday, but we need to plan a day this coming week.”

  “Yeah, I know. That would be great. We can make a day of it.” I pull the dress over my head before heading into the living room with Peyton at my
side. Thor is sitting at the bar sipping on a bottle of water. I can’t even look at him.

  “You heard the news?” Giselle asks when she sees me. I nod my head. She has a couple of suitcases at the door. Funny how she needs that much for one week, yet all my belongings fit into just three of those things. Yeah, I definitely need more clothes ASAP. Giselle comes up to me and embraces me in a hug. Feeling vengeful, I decide not to let the opportunity pass for a little payback.

  “When you get back, we should have a lot to talk about. I’m going to find that “Florida piece” you were talking about. I’m tired of holding on to this v-card. It’s not like I’m saving it for marriage or love or anything.”

  “Really?” Peyton and Giselle ask in unison. I see Thor straighten in his chair from my periphery.

  “Really,” I confirm. “Your performance with Thor last night made me realize I’m seriously missing out. I need to find a man that is going to make me scream down the walls like that,” I chuckle with as much sincerity as I can muster.

  “Oh, sorry. We were kind of loud,” Giselle blushes.

  “I think the whole apartment complex heard you girl,” Peyton teases.

  I watch as Thor runs a nervous hand through his hair. “Yeah, but the academy award goes to Thor,” I say looking him in the eye for the first time. Something passes over his features, but I can’t put my finger on it. Is it guilt? It can’t be.

  “Let’s go Giselle before you miss your flight,” he says ignoring my direct jab. He grabs Giselle’s two suitcases and heads out the door without looking to see if she is following him.

  “See you ladies in a week,” she says rolling her eyes. “And Nevaeh, I want to hear all about your sexy adventure when I get back.” She hugs me and Peyton one more time and then she is out of the door. I know I should feel bad for using her unknowingly to hit a nerve with her boyfriend, but he did the same thing last night. We should both be ashamed.