Feather

by Laurie Lyons

  She logged off the computer and stood up. When she got back into the main building, Ruth was shelving in the far corner. It was clear no one else had thought to ruin their Saturday with a trip to the library. Since she was here, she might as well get something accomplished. Lucy had systematically been reading every book in the library and therefore committing them to memory. It was sadly, one of her favorite things to do. Currently, she was starting a new book, "Prisioners of War" by Alex Cartman and so she started at the A's and worked her way down the long aisle. Read it, read it, read it she thought as she passed all the A's and the B's. It was a childish routine but one that helped her to refocus. This reaffirmed the solid hold that Lucy had on the facts and reality of her life. The figment of her imagination or whatever Nathaniel the invisible man was would never be back and Lucy could get back to her well-ordered and controlled life. She retrieved the book and sat down at one of the tables. She opened it up and began to read.

  A few moments later, Lucy was irritated to catch her mind wandering once again to Nathaniel. She had read the same paragraph three times. She shifted in her seat, took a sharp breath and forced herself to refocus. She started to read again but the nagging voice in her head was relentless. There is one more thing you can try. Lucy rolled her eyes at her own stubbornness. She could not let this go.

  If Lucy concentrated very hard, she could use her brain like a search engine. If she didn't know what book to reference she had, in the past, allowed her brain to flip through the massive amount of information in her mind and find the answer while drawing from several sources at once. It was difficult and it usually gave her a headache but this was Lucy's last bit of hope. It was a long shot considering she had been thinking about this problem for two days now and nothing had popped up but maybe it was worth a try. She wondered also if it was the mystery itself that was bothering her or was it something more? How did he have such a strong hold on her? Maybe if she exhausted every effort, it would be easier to let this whole thing go.

  The trick was that Lucy had to come up with the right question for this system to work. She weighed the options; there was no reason to ask something about Nathaniel's identity because she had never met him before. There had been no evidence in the newspapers that he even lived close so there was no point asking something specific about his origins. Finally, she settled on the only things that he had been certain about last night. He had fallen and his name was Nathaniel. It wasn't much but it was all she had to go on. With a big sigh, she laid her book down, rested her head on her forearms on the table, closed her eyes and thought, "Why did Nathaniel fall?" She released the question into her mind's extensive library. She squeezed her eyelids tight as she willed the question out until it took on a life of its own; tumbling and twisting through the recesses of her brain.

  The words meticulously went through every bit of information. Images and pages flashed in her head at breakneck speed, the applicable words lighting up in response. Lucy had to view the results and dismiss them fast enough to take the next set of information. She could feel her head starting to ache in protest. She ignored it and continued. She saw every fall she had ever witnessed, she flipped through every book that had the words "why did" pushing novels, newspapers and magazines to the side the instant they appeared. The pain in her head increased and began to pulse through her temples. She had been at this for several minutes now, longer than she had ever had to before. The answer usually came quickly but her question had been so vague it was taking much longer. Lucy's brain became frantic; cross referencing now and pulling sentence after sentence to the forefront over and over. Lucy knew she should give up but she just couldn't bring herself to give up on this – on him. Lucy grunted in pain and effort as she pushed her mind faster, forcing it to find the answer. Finally, it pulled out several works and pushed the words out to her. Lucy stopped her mind and her mouth fell open in shock.

  "FALLEN ANGEL,

  ANGELS NATHANIEL, GABRIEL, MICHAEL,

  LUCIFER FALLEN ANGEL"

  Lucy's eyes snapped open and she sat panting in shock for a moment before she jumped from her chair and sprinted across the library to Ruth.

  "Ruth! Ruth!" she yelled running up to her and grabbing on to the book cart to keep from falling over. "I need every book you have on Angels. The real ones, not hokey wear a pin on your lapel Angels but REAL Angels, the guys in Heaven with wings."

  "Holy moly hon," Ruth's eyes were wide, "Are you ok?"

  "I'm fine, I just need the books can you help me?"

  "Sweetheart," Ruth replied lovingly, "You ears are bleeding. I'll get the books and some tissue." She slid past Lucy to the circulation desk.

  Lucy reached up and touched her fingers to her ear. She saw with a form of detached shock that indeed, her ears were bleeding.

  "Worth it," she muttered.

  Chapter Five

  Options

  "A peacefulness follows any decision,

  even the wrong one."

  ~Rita Mae Brown

  Lucy spent the rest of the afternoon pouring through books on Angels, divinity and the holy order of things. She had never considered herself a religious person. Her parents had never taken her to church but they taught her the difference between right and wrong. They had taught her that there was a God and a Heaven but now that Lucy had to face it head on she wasn't sure what it all meant. She searched and searched and although Nathaniel's name was that of an archangel, not much else fit. There were no other reports of Angels being sent to Earth other than in the role of guardian or to pass on the word of God. The Immaculate Conception, the birth of Jesus and the burning bush were all events that were paired with the appearance of an Angel.

  Angels came down to Earth to do things, to warn or prepare humans for an upcoming happening. Why would he be sent here with no idea of his purpose to wander about invisible? Lucy also couldn't understand what she had to do with this. The people who had historically seen Angels were divine people. Lucy felt she was a good person but certainly not a holy person. She figured that it must be a strange fluke that she could see him. It must have something to do with her photographic memory not with whatever his celestial purpose on Earth was.

  There was no mention of nature responding to Angels in any of the material. Lucy could not find a reason for the leaf's bizarre behavior the other night or the unseasonable weather. In Lucy's own reasoning though, she thought it would make sense for nature to be drawn to an Angel walking the Earth. God made nature. If Nathaniel was an Angel, it made sense that nature would respond to him. The rat incident didn't fit but Lucy considered Cliff's explanation and figured that it was possible the warm weather was throwing them off. Lucy also had a problem with how Nathaniel looked. He didn't look like the Angels in the books. His face and body were Heavenly but wasn't he supposed to have wings? Or be blond and blue eyed? The jet black hair and the crystal grey eyes did not fit with ones 'angelic' ideas. The images of Angels Lucy saw had wings, halos, robes and at times, a staff or a trumpet. The jeans and t-shirt were a little off the mark for angelic apparel. Lucy sighed. What was she supposed to do now?

  Should she ask him about this? Was it healthy to have an invisible Angel in her life? Was it responsible to call him back into her life when she had been struggling so hard today to get him out? What about the feelings she had for him? Can you have feelings for someone like him or was it blasphemy or something? Would Lucy just be torturing herself by spending time with him? Lucy wondered if she needed more time to think about it and as if on cue, she heard the doors of the library fling open.

  "Hey loser! Are you in here?" Anastasia yelled at the top of her lungs ignoring the furious shushing she got from Ruth. Lucy remembered the party and decided that would be a perfect way to distract her and give her more time to think. She jumped up, grabbed her bag and the bloody tissues and hurried over to the circulation desk.

  "Ruth leave the books, I'll come back tomorrow to reshelf them," she said dropping the tissues in the wastebasket.
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  Ruth dragged her face away from her stare down with Anastasia to smile at Lucy, "Don't worry about it dear, I don't close for another hour so I have plenty of time. Unless you would like me to leave them out for you?"

  "No thanks," Lucy shook her head and moved to the door, "I'm all done. Thank you for your help Ruth." Anastasia had not moved from the threshold of the door. As far as Lucy knew, this was as close to the library as Anastasia had ever gotten. It was as if the dance major feared she would turn to stone if she entered. Anastasia pushed the door back open with her backside and stood there allowing Lucy to pass through.

  "Have a good night Ruby!" Anastasia yelled into the library.

  "Ruth," Lucy whispered the correction.

  "Whatever," Anastasia replied rolling her eyes and letting the door slam. "It's embarrassing that you are my friend." Anastasia challenged as they walked down the stairs. "I find you in the library? Really? You know it's Saturday right? AND you were supposed to be resting this weekend." Lucy just shrugged. She certainly couldn't tell Anastasia about what she was actually doing in the library. She also decided to omit the rat story, Cliff was right; he would have mass panic on his hands.

  Lucy and Anastasia hurried back to the dorms and, after picking out the perfect outfits, met in the bathroom. Lucy was surprised to find it empty. "Are we late? Where are the rest of the girls?" she asked while opening her makeup bag.

  "At the party already, Paige went to go help Nick set up and Suzanne went too. Paula, Michelle and the others are there too." Anastasia replied while plugging in her straightening iron.

  "You mean Suzanne went to see Simon," Lucy said rolling her eyes.

  "Probably, I honestly don't know what they see in those guys."

  "Really? I like Nick and Simon," Lucy said with a little pout in her voice while attempting to smooth her hair.

  "Oh I do too!" Anastasia exclaimed. "They're good guys and fun to hang out with and all but they're not all that mature you know?" Lucy pictured a conversation she had witnessed between the three men about how if you filled a bathtub with ice at a party, it wouldn't melt because the ice would keep the other ice cold.

  "I guess you're right," Lucy conceded. "But that's college boys for you."

  "There has to be at least one guy on this campus who is more than just a college boy," Anastasia said hopefully. Lucy thought of Nathaniel and her heart warmed a little. Would she ever see him again? Was he an Angel? How do you call someone who doesn't have a phone?

  She sighed, "That guy is out there Anastasia, you just have to figure out a way to find him."

  "Totally," Anastasia agreed while smoothing her hair.

  "I'm sorry we're late," Lucy started on her makeup, "I lost track of time at the library."

  "I was running late too. I was at the studio and lost track of time myself. You can still come to the recital tomorrow night right?"

  "I wouldn't miss it for anything babe," Lucy confirmed. "Are you nervous?"

  "A little," Anastasia said carefully, "but I'm mostly excited." She paused, "It's like I can't wait to show off you know? It's an awesome piece and I'm really good for the part. I guess I am looking forward to everyone appreciating it and me." She paused again, "That sounds shallow and vain doesn't it?"

  "Not at all," Lucy thought of her own talent and the pride she felt when she got to show it off, "you are a beautiful dancer and you have worked very hard to get where you are. I think it's normal for you to be proud of yourself. I know I am."

  "Thanks babe." Anastasia grinned at her in the mirror.

  "Now, who is going to be at this party?" Lucy prompted. Anastasia was, as Lucy had suspected, a perfect distraction from her worries. They chatted easily about gossip and rumors floating around. When they were sufficiently preened and prepared, Anastasia threw her arm over Lucy's shoulder and they regarded themselves in the mirror,

  "We are too hot for words," Lucy noted.

  "I second that," Anastasia agreed, "Let's stay friends forever ok?"

  "Ok," Lucy pulled her into a tight hug, "I love you babe."

  "Love you too," Anastasia looked at her watch, "let's make tracks, we are crossing the line from 'fashionably late' to 'the jerks that couldn't show up on time.'"

  Nick and Simon's room was on the second floor of the boy's dorm. As they climbed the stairs they could already hear the party a floor above.

  "How many people did Paige invite?" Lucy asked with shock.

  "It sounds like she invited the entire residence population," Anastasia replied quickening her step, "This is going to be good. Maybe we will meet our mystery men tonight!"

  Mine isn't here, Lucy thought ruefully. She vowed to herself that she would take this time to relax and be with her friends. She still wasn't sure what to do with her new found theories or even how to get a hold of Nathaniel to tell him. She quickened her step and looked forward to a fun night.

  The party had spilled out into the hallway and the girls made their way through the gauntlet of bodies greeting people along the way to Nick's room. There were more people packed into the small dorm apartment than Lucy thought possible. The tiny kitchenette was packed, people were standing or leaning all over the modest living room and more students moved in and out of the two bedrooms. Glancing around, Lucy recognized ninety percent of the partygoers so when Anastasia threw her hands in the air and yelled, "We're here!" there was a roar from the crowd.

  The girls spent the first few minutes hugging everyone before taking a seat on the coffee table in the middle of the room. There were hundreds of conversations all going on at once but Nick immediately pulled in Lucy's attention. He was sitting in the corner of the couch with Paige tucked contentedly under his arm. He was talking to a guy Lucy had never met before. The guy had shaggy bleach blond long hair and board shorts on.

  "There she is!" Nick exclaimed, "Lucy, Lucy, Lucy I need your help."

  "I've got your back," Lucy replied accepting a soda from Simon.

  "My friend John here and I are having an argument, my computer sucks and I need you to settle some things for us."

  "Got it," Lucy twisted herself so she was facing them. She smiled at John who did not smile back. He didn't seem convinced that Lucy could help at all.

  "Who won the 1975 World Series?" Nick asked.

  "The Cincinnati Reds," Lucy answered quickly.

  "YES! YES!" Nick yelled, "I am my own hero!" Paige grinned beside him.

  "Are you a fan of baseball?" John asked sharply as though it was Lucy's fault that he was wrong.

  "Not at all," Lucy replied, "I don't think I have ever sat through a game." John's face fell in disappointment and confusion.

  "She's the one I was telling you about," Nick explained.

  "The camera girl?" John asked to clarify. This was not a term Lucy liked and her friends were well aware of her aversion.

  "The camera girl?" Paige and Anastasia said in unison rounding on Nick.

  Nick raised his hands defensively "Those are his words, not mine."

  The two of them then turned on John, "Her name is Lucy," Anastasia clarified sharply. Paige nodded as if to say 'what she said'. John ignored them, his eyes narrowed and he regarded Lucy suspiciously.

  "So you can memorize some baseball stats, big deal, I know tons of guys who can do that."

  "Think what you want pal," Lucy said casually, "I don't really care. But I have a photographic memory and the biggest downside is that I won't ever be able to forget those atrocious shorts you are wearing."

  "Oh!" the room roared at the jab but John ignored them and Lucy's insult. He leaned forward and flipped his hair back. Lucy sighed. She had been here before. He was going to ask her some random question that he didn't even know the answer to and try to embarrass her. It was not going to work.

  "What team did the Red's win against?" he yelled over the crowd. His voice was tight and combative. Everyone felt the air of tension and went silent.

  Nick tried to diffuse the situation. "Dude, take my word for it�
��"

  John didn't even look at him and Lucy answered, "The Boston Red Sox."

  "How many games did the series go to?" he fired at Lucy.

  "Seven," Lucy replied almost before he was done the question.

  "Who was the MVP?"

  "Pete Rose." There was a pause while John thought of another question, Lucy took advantage of his delay and continued. "The first pitch of the series was from William Simon to Carlton Fisk at Fenway Park. The sixth game of the series was the most memorable. It was a twelve-inning game at Fenway Park. Bernie Carbo hit a game tying home run in the eighth, Dwight Evans made an eleventh inning catch that stopped Joe Morgan from getting a go-ahead home run. The biggest moment of game six was the walk off home run by Carlton Fisk in the bottom of the twelfth that gave the Sox a seven to six win to push the series to a seventh game. The Cincinnati Reds have won the World Series five times, 1919, 1940, 1975, 1976 and 1990. Do you want the details of each series or do you believe me now?"

  "Do you only know sports stats or?" John's tone had changed from animosity to reserved appreciation.

  "No," Lucy replied smiling kindly at him, "anything I read or see is stuck in my head."

  "Do 'Green Eggs and Ham,'" Simon said nudging her.

  "No!" Nick chimed in, "'The Grinch!'"

  "It's not Christmas," Anastasia chided Nick.

  Lucy looked at John. "Your choice," she said pointing at him.

  He smiled at the peace offering and said, "'The Cat in the Hat' please."

  Lucy smiled again and nodded. Simon turned down the music and

  Lucy began, "The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play. So we sat in the house all that cold, cold, wet day…." By the time she was finished reciting almost everyone was listening and Lucy received a round of applause.