by Laurie Lyons
"Well, don't do anymore tests," Lucy warned him. "I only know first aid in theory, I have never practiced."
"Done." He stood up and stretched and started to head for the door.
"But there isn't a men's washroom on this floor," she countered. Lucy couldn't have Nathaniel walking through the bathroom with her friends in various stages of undress all around him.
"I'm going downstairs," he reassured her. "But," he grinned, "it would be far more convenient if I could just…"
"No way pal," Lucy laughed. "Dream on."
He put his hands up defensively, "I'm joking!" He walked back to her and kissed her on the temple, Lucy closed her eyes in response. "I'll be right back." He whispered in her hair and left the room.
Lucy leaned back on the bed and stretched. She could not believe how much her life had changed in a mere forty-eight hours and had changed for the better. Lucy knew she had never been this blissful. She knew that from now on, her life would be divided into two sections; before Nathaniel and after him. She hoped the after lasted longer than the before had. She didn't want to think about him being taken from her. Lucy vowed to take each moment she was given with Nathaniel and cherish it. She never did anything half way, she fell in love with him completely and she would do everything she could to keep him. He was now a reality to her existence and there was no way back. Since she now knew bliss, she had no intentions of letting it go. She smiled and stood up.
Lucy's room was a mess. Her searching the night before had left the place in a shambles. Lucy started to clean up. While putting her jacket in the closet, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Lucy stopped to stare. She was never one to look good in the morning, especially after a night where she hadn't slept a wink. She realized with amazement that Nathaniel was right - she looked beautiful this morning. Her makeup had worn off at some point in the night and she stood plain faced in the mirror. Her cheeks were rosy and her green eyes were bright and shining. Lucy was glowing. Happiness looks good on you, she thought and smiled at her reflection. Lucy went back to cleaning and within a few minutes had her room back to rights. The door opened and Nathaniel slipped in carrying two huge plates filled with bacon, eggs, sausage and toast.
"Hungry?" he asked grinning at her.
"Starving," Lucy grinned and plopped down on the couch taking a plate from Nathaniel as he sat beside her.
"There was nowhere to put money so I'm assuming this is free?" he asked taking a bite of bacon. Lucy nodded while taking a mouthful of scrambled eggs.
"Three squares included in the scholarship. I rarely eat breakfast or lunch there so they owe me a few." They ate in silence for a bit, both of them too hungry to talk.
"So," Nathaniel said after scraping his plate clean. "What's your plan for the day?"
"Well," Lucy thought. She would have liked to stay holed up with him all day in her room but she did have some things to get done. "I have studying to do, I need to go visit Dr. Hannon because I freaked him out the other day and I should go reassure him that he still has a job. And Anastasia's dance recital is at seven tonight."
He raised his eyebrows. "That's a busy day." Lucy nodded and put her unfinished plate down, "done?" he asked. Lucy nodded and smiled as he picked up the plate and without asking finished it for her. Well he certainly has the appetite of a normal college boy, she thought.
"Do you want to come with me?" she asked hopefully.
"I don't think I would make a good study partner for you." he replied and traced a line along her cheek with his finger leaving a trail of warmth running down her face, Lucy half closed her eyes in response.
Point taken.
"You could come see Dr. Hannon with me," she suggested but Nathaniel shook his head.
"No, that's your private time with him, I would get in the way. But," he added, "I would love to come to the recital with you if I'm invited."
"Of course you are!" Lucy lit up. "Oh I can't wait until you see Anastasia dance, she's wonderful. She's only a first year and the final number always goes to a senior but she auditioned and blew them away. She got the part and has been working on it non-stop for weeks. I haven't even seen the entire piece but it's going to be fantastic!"
"Then it's a date," he replied. "I'll come by at 6:30 to pick you up, I assume it's on campus?"
Lucy nodded and asked, "But what are you going to do until then?"
"I have a few things to do."
"Like what?" What would be on an invisible Angel's agenda for the day? Before he could answer, Lucy jumped as a huge slam echoed through the room. She turned to see Anastasia standing at the door having just thrown it shut. She was still in her pajamas.
"This must be Anastasia," Nathaniel mused. Lucy grinned sideways at him and gave a small nod. It felt so strange that Anastasia could not see Nathaniel. Lucy had to stop herself from introducing them. She knew they would adore each other as much as she adored each of them. She immediately felt a twinge of sadness that she could not share this new part of her life with Stasia. Nothing in her life had ever felt real until she told her best friend and now she had to keep secret the best thing that had ever happened to her. Lucy sighed at the unfairness of it all, but she would take what she was given and be grateful for it, even with limits.
"GIRL! I have to talk to you!" Stasia stormed in the room and looked at Lucy, "You look great today! Are those the same clothes from last night? Babe, that's a cute shirt, don't sleep in it. You ate breakfast already? Two plates? Oh man, you have to bring down your dishes more often. Look I know you have a ton of crap to do but I have to tell you about that guy at the party! He's awesome! I mean awesome!"
She kept going and Nathaniel stood up from the couch, walked directly in front of her and leaned over to Lucy's ear, "That is my cue to go," he said smiling. Lucy smiled too.
Anastasia took Lucy's smile as a response to something she had said, "I know! It's great right?" Anastasia took the spot on the vacant couch not realizing why she hadn't sat there before, "Oooo, you must have slept in this spot, it's super warm."
"I'll see you tonight," Nathaniel spoke quietly in Lucy's ear; she struggled to not turn her head to look at him one more time. He leaned closer and kissed her neck just below her ear. Lucy took a sharp breath.
"Totally!" Anastasia yelled assuming that Lucy was listening to her, "I know!"
Nathaniel chuckled softly in Lucy's ear. "Totally," he whispered breathing softly on her neck. He stood back up and moved to the door, "if you need me before then, just call and I'll come." Lucy glanced over but he was already gone, she hadn't heard the door and wondered if he had just wished himself somewhere else.
As it turned out, Lucy and Anastasia had both had amazing nights. Roman seemed as perfect to Anastasia as Nathaniel did to Lucy. Roman was not only smart, funny and handsome he was also richer than Midas having been born to some old family further east. He was also very cultured and knew almost as much as Anastasia did about art, music and dance. Anastasia was thrilled. Lucy found it ironic that they had both found their dream guys on the same night - ironic but perfect. It was a wonderful twist of fate that they should both be this happy at the same time even it Stasia didn't know about it.
They continued their conversation in the shower with the two of them yelling over the stalls. Lucy was off to see Dr. Hannon and Stasia had to get to dress rehearsal. They hugged and Lucy reassured her that she would be at the recital.
"Is your new guy coming?" Lucy asked.
Anastasia shook her head. "He has something he can't get out of and it's good he's not coming. I would be nervous with him there."
"Well, I won't see you before so," Lucy hugged her again, "I love you and you are going to be great."
"Thanks babe, love you too," Anastasia ran down the stairs, "Thanks for listening!" she hollered back over her shoulder.
"Any time!" Lucy said to the empty stairwell. She headed back to her room and grabbed her coat and bag. She looked around for her keys and eventually spotted them on the
bookshelf. Lucy reached out to grab them but stopped. Sitting beside her keys was a flower. Not just any flower but a Compact Amazon Lily. It was the size of Lucy's palm and bright white. It was one of the most rare flowers on the planet. Lucy picked it up gently and cradled it in her hands. She smelled the incredible scent. Where did Nathaniel get such a thing? It was one of a kind and unseen by the majority of the world – just like him. She grinned and put the blossom softly back on the shelf.
Beaming, Lucy crossed campus to the psychology building. She thought of how different her mood was this time compared to the last time she made this walk. She knew now that her memory wasn't crashing and it didn't even need a break. Lucy wasn't going crazy, she was happy. She bounced into the building and took the steps two at a time. Lucy knew Dr. Hannon would be in his office because it was Sunday. On Sunday's Brian did his client calls and Dr. Hannon always came into the office to get out of the house and get some work done. Lucy made her way down the hall and knocked on his door.
"Well this can only be my Lucy," came Dr. Hannon's voice from inside. Lucy pushed open the door and popped her head in.
"Am I bugging you?" Dr. Hannon was in his usual Sunday spot. He sat casually on the couch with a pile of student's papers at his feet and an AM radio playing a basketball game.
"Not at all! Come in!" He waved at her and started to get up but he looked so comfortable that Lucy said,
"Stay there, I can get my own coffee." Today the coffee was freshly made and Lucy poured a cup for herself and a new one for the doctor. She sat down on the couch beside him and tucked her feet beneath her.
"Well," he turned to look at her, "I have to say that you look much better than you did on Friday."
"I am better," Lucy said smiling. "I'm sorry I scared you I just had a little freak-out."
"I admit that I was a little concerned," he took a sip of his coffee. "But I am amazed that something like that hasn't happened before."
"Why?" Lucy asked perplexed.
"Lucy, since I have known you, you have always been fine."
"Isn't fine good?" Lucy countered.
"It's good but it's not great," Lucy shook her head in confusion. Dr. Hannon explained, "People are supposed to crack under pressure. That's how we know what our limits are. We push ourselves mentally and physically too far, find our breaking point and realize our boundaries. We constantly push past each breaking point fighting harder and harder to handle more and more. The human mind is in a constant state of striving to improve and in doing so sometimes pushes itself too far." He took another sip of coffee. Lucy didn't interrupt; she knew more was to come. "You Lucy, have constantly pushed yourself to the extreme mentally and yet you have always been fine. I have always been a little shocked that you never cracked, never needed a break and never seemed to have a limit. Friday was a bit of a relief for me because I was glad that your mind finally found a limit. That's why it needed a break, even a brain as commanding as yours has its boundaries and I was glad to see it."
Lucy thought about that for a minute. She considered how she felt that afternoon and the term 'cracked' certainly applied. The thought of losing her memory and sanity was the original factor because it would change her life indefinitely. Friday night though was a different story, she had spent the entire night crying because she had sent Nathaniel away and demanded that he never return. Thinking back on it, the Nathaniel breakdown seemed far more powerful to Lucy. She had been in love with him from the start.
"I felt guilty too," Dr. Hannon cut into her thoughts.
"Guilty? Why?"
"Because I was the one pushing you. I have scheduled all your tests and conferences and the studies. I was the one forcing your brain to fire on all cylinders and since you never complained I figured it was ok. But I am the doctor Lucy and I shouldn't have pushed you so far. I should have pulled back on the reins years ago or even lightened your load when you started your undergraduate studies. It was irresponsible of me and I apologize." Lucy felt awful that she couldn't share the real reason for her breakdown the other day. Dr. Hannon thought it was his fault and Lucy felt terrible.
"Doc, I did all that stuff because I wanted to and I will keep doing it because I enjoy your work almost as much as you do. I have always known that you have my best interests in mind. If I feel too pressured I promise to let you know."
"Are you sure you are up to more work Lucy? Because if you want to…"
Lucy broke in, "I even gave my mind a break last night and can't you tell how much better I am today?" She assumed that the blank thoughts she experienced while making out with Nathaniel last night would constitute a break. Who has time for facts when you are kissing a gorgeous Angel?
"Well that's good," he said visibly relieved but Lucy still felt the need to reassure him.
"To be honest, my little breakdown had nothing to do with my memory it was…something else."
"HA!" he slapped his hand on his leg. "I am a genius! What did I tell you? It was a boy right?"
"Yes," Lucy laughed at his enthusiasm. "A boy." The word boy seemed a weak description of her Nathaniel but it would have to do.
"And he is?" Dr. Hannon leaned forward expectantly.
"No longer a problem," Lucy avoided lying. She also avoided mentioning the rat incident to Dr. Hannon. Lucy did not think that he would be able to restrain himself from calling her mother.
"That's my girl!" he slapped his leg again and Lucy grinned. "Now don't give me the gory details, college love dramas bore me to tears." This one wouldn't, Lucy thought. He stood up and walked over to his desk and lifted a piece of paper, "I did receive an interesting letter from a prominent psychotherapist in Poland. He would like to meet you and run some tests." He scanned the letter, "Inducing lucid dreams, watching your REM cycle (or lack thereof) and of course seeing your memory work in person. Nothing we haven't covered before. Are you up for it?"
"I am not eating eighty pounds of polish sausage and then taking a nap," Lucy said with a smirk.
Dr. Hannon pretended to write that down, "No polish sausage…got it." He looked at her and raised his eyebrows in warning, "Now Lucy if you aren't up for this."
"I promise to tell you," Lucy finished for him.
They talked for a few more minutes about schedules and logistics. Dr. Hannon would have no problem getting the University to sponsor the conference but the funding applications would take some time. The conference would have to take place during the summer semester because Lucy would be at the University for the summer. A double major meant double the classes plus Lucy was considering a masters – she had no intentions of being at school until she was thirty. Summer classes would be necessary for a few years at least. They settled on mid-June and Lucy glanced at Dr. Hannon's jotted notes so she would remember. She gave him a hug, thanked him and left him to his marking.
Lucy headed back to her dorm and grabbed lunch on the way to her room. She sat at her desk and flipped on the computer. While it was sluggishly warming up, she wondered what Nathaniel was up to today. She imagined his face in her mind and closed her eyes with remembrance. She reached over and took the lily off her shelf. She placed it in front of her keyboard under the monitor where she could see and smell it while she worked. It was better that she had a reminder of him. It would have to do until she got to see him again.
Lucy studied for a few hours finishing papers, editing others and reading textbooks and novels. She noticed the sun going down, she glanced at her watch to see that it was 6:00 p.m. and she only had a half an hour to get ready. She poured over her closet looking for just the right thing to wear and sighed when she realized her wardrobe consisted mainly of jeans, hoodies and a few cute shirts to wear to parties. Digging in the back, she found a mid-length skirt that she paired with a pink v-neck satin blouse. She looked at herself in the mirror and thought she looked cute but something was missing. She walked over to the bookshelf, gently picked up the lily and using a bobby pin, delicately secured it in her auburn hair just above her ear. She
applied a little makeup, some perfume, pulled on her heeled sandals and looked at the clock, 6:25. She sat down to wait. Picking up the remote from the table, she turned on the tiny TV tucked in her bookshelf, scanned the channels and found a rerun of 'Who wants to be a millionaire.'
"Who's autobiography is titled 'A Long Walk to Freedom?" Regis Philbin asked dramatically.
"Nelson Mandela," Lucy answered before he was done with the question, "final answer." She waited while the contestant made their choice, the right one and the music and lights on the stage pulsed with the excitement of it all. After the contestant decided to keep going, Lucy looked at her watch again, it was 6:30. Nathaniel should have been there. She refused to worry about him disappearing on her. He said he would be here and he would. Lucy trusted him. 6:32. Lucy tapped her toe impatiently.
"What king was married to Elenor of Aquitaine?"
"Henry II – The Duke of Normandy," came Nathaniel's voice from the door. Relief flooded through Lucy and she jumped up and ran into his waiting arms. She grabbed him tightly around his neck and he lifted her easily off the ground.
"Oh you came back!" she said.
"I told you I would," Nathaniel said softly and lowered her smoothly to her feet. He held her out at arms length and looked her up and down, "You look beautiful. I didn't think that flower could be outshone but you have proven me wrong,"
Lucy blushed slightly, "Thank you." She took a moment to look Nathaniel over as well. He was wearing black pants and a green collared shirt. As usual, his face was flawless and she didn't think she had ever seen such a gorgeous man in all her life. "You look great," she observed.
"Thanks," he said looking down at his clothes, "I thought I should step it up a notch from jeans."
"But you could wear sweats and no one would know."
"You would know," he said as if that was enough reason. He looked at his watch, "We have to go," he said authoritatively. Nathaniel took her hand and he led her out the door. It was a short walk to the auditorium but no one was around so they could talk.