The Leaving Season

by Cat Jordan

  There was a message from Lee: day off, wanna come?

  I glanced up at the clock, at the sweeping red hand counting down the minute until the second bell rang, when everyone needed to be in their seats, ready to shout, Present! I felt my hands shake as I held the phone, staring at the text.

  Respond or ignore?

  Across the room Haley laughed at her field hockey friend’s joke; behind me, other students finished their last text messages before shutting their phones off. The homeroom teacher was powering down her Kindle. The clock’s red second hand reached nine, ten . . .

  Dry, crackling heat radiated through the uncovered windows and from body to body. It was suddenly summer again, for a day or two at least.

  My fingers tapped a quick reply: yes

  Almost instantly, he wrote back: outside now

  I hesitated only a fraction of a second and then rose from my chair just as the last bell echoed in the hallway. “Ms. Delaney, I need to leave—”

  “Middie, what are you—” She started to talk over me.

  “—now because I’m not feeling very well—”

  “—doing out of your seat—”

  “—my mother is coming to get me—”

  “—when you know we’re starting—” She stopped. Gray eyes blinked a few times behind rectangular lenses. “Oh. Yes, of course. By all means, take all the time you need.”

  I gathered my books and my purse and scurried out of the classroom, deftly avoiding Haley’s laser-like gaze. I made a mental note to shut my phone off. I knew I would be on the receiving end of some questioning texts.

  Lee was waiting for me in the pickup circle at the front of the school and I had a fleeting memory of him whisking me away on that first day when we heard about Nate’s death. Was it so very long ago?

  I hopped on the back of the Vespa and grabbed hold of the chrome trim without a word. The air was as dry as dust; it crackled with a last-ditch attempt at summer, a promise of cornstalks and pumpkins and hot cocoa with marshmallows in the not-too-distant future. Those days were just over the horizon, but not now, not today.

  I vaguely recognized the long driveway Lee turned into; it was a place I knew after dark, but it looked different in daylight. Dayton Feed, where we’d had our senior year kickoff party six weeks ago. Ahead was the giant barn, its sides weathered and graying, bushes dried and growing over its signage.

  Lee whizzed past the barn and headed farther toward the back of the farm. A fence ahead wore a rusted metal sign that said No Trespassing. Naturally, I thought with a smile. Where else would Lee go but a place that was off-limits?

  We parked the Vespa and hopped the fence easily. Through brush and branches and trees, we emerged in front of a swimming hole I’d never seen before. Water from a bubbling creek gently flowed between two rocky banks, cooling the air and the grassy shore. The pool was not as deep as the one under the waterfall had been, but it was wider and more placid.

  I drank it all in: the solitude, the moist air, the breeze on my skin. It was beautiful.

  Lee peeled off his sneakers and socks and tossed them on a tree branch. “You wanna go in?”

  “I didn’t bring a suit.”

  “Neither did I.” He grabbed the bottom of his T-shirt and pulled it over his head as if I weren’t even there. His chest was scrawny compared to Nate’s and his shoulders rounded rather than squared. He caught me looking and grinned. “Yeah, I’m a hunk, huh?” He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Whatever. Someday my soft, skinny body will be in fashion and everyone will want to look like me.”

  So. Skinny-dipping.

  Could I?

  I stared down at my outfit: I’d chosen a long-sleeved navy blue T-shirt and dark blue jeans at the start of the day, not knowing how warm it would get. I could feel the heavy cotton clinging to my back with sweat; my underarms were damp and sticky. I was dying for a dip in the creek.

  I heard Lee unbuckle his belt, and I quickly shut my eyes. But he’d decided to adopt a bit of modesty and duck behind a bush to finish undressing.

  I started with my shoes, heeling them off one by one and then unrolling my socks. Pants or shirt? I wondered. Which should I take off first?

  Take off? a wise little voice in my head yelped. Why on earth was I taking anything off in front of a stranger?

  But he wasn’t a stranger. He was a friend now. And he was nearly undressed himself. I pulled off my shirt, slipped out of my jeans, and stopped. Keep on the bra and panties? Jeans over wet underwear sounded like a bad combination, so I whipped it all off just as Lee came out from behind the bush.

  I jumped in, wading until the water was as high as my waist, and then I ducked down, letting it cover me up to my neck. Freezing at first, it didn’t take long for my body to adjust to the temperature. I dipped my head back to wet my ponytail and felt the heat rise off me like steam from hot pavement.

  A moment later, Lee walked out from behind the bushes and I started to turn my head, but then I noticed—

  “You’re wearing underwear!” I said, pointing an arm toward his green plaid boxer shorts.

  His eyes widened in delighted shock. “And you’re . . . not?” He rubbed his hands together like a villain in a cartoon. “This is so much more than I expected!”

  “No! No, no, no. This isn’t fair!” I cried.

  “Meredith Daniels, why the hell did you take off all your clothes?”

  “Because I thought . . . I . . . thought . . . you were going to?”

  Lee walked toward me, one eyebrow raised suavely. “I think you were projecting,” he said. “You want to see me naked.”

  I felt my cheeks burn. “Oh dear lord, no,” I told him. “That is the furthest thing from my mind.”

  Is it? the little voice asked me.

  Shut up, little voice.

  Lee turned and walked out of the creek and back to the bushes.

  “Wait! Where are you going?” As I watched, Lee’s boxers flew over the top of the bush. “Oh my god. . . .” I dropped fully under the water then, knowing what was coming next. How long could I hold my breath? Twenty seconds? Thirty? A minute?

  I heard a gentle splash and felt the water ripple around me. Slowly, I lifted my head out of the creek, one eye squeezed shut as if glimpsing him naked with only one eye would somehow be less shocking than with both.

  Lee had waded in to his waist . . .

  Well, nearly to his waist.

  My blush spread down my neck and chest and I thanked god I was mostly underwater. I had no idea how much of my body was flushed with embarrassment.

  Lee swam around me. “Ever been here before?”

  I shook my head as he did a silly dog paddle. “Nope.”

  “Ever skinny-dipped before?”

  “Would you stop saying naked words?” I asked. I wrapped my arms around myself, careful not to make even a moment’s contact with Lee.

  “So that’s a no.”

  “Right. No.”

  His circle became smaller and smaller; he was about three feet away from me and getting closer. It was as if he were daring me to move away from him. Or to not move away . . .

  I did a kind of breaststroke till my knees were able to touch the bottom. Then I crawled, making sure that all vital parts were still submerged, toward the far rocky bank. The water was shallower there, and I could comfortably sit on the sandy bottom.

  Lee took it in stride and began to swim more in earnest. Every so often his naked butt would break the surface of the water, giving me a glimpse of shockingly bright white skin. “Hey, Meredith!” he called between breaths. “Wanna see me do the backstroke?”

  I held my hand over my eyes, not trusting myself to simply close them. “No!”

  “You sure? I’m really good at—”

  “No, no, no, no!”

  He paddled over to me and rested on his knees. His chest was above the water, slick and wet but drying quickly under the sun. “I can’t believe you took your clothes off in front of me,” he said with a sl
y sideways glance. “Usually it takes a lot of sweet-talking to get a girl to do that.”

  He wanted to see me blush. I wouldn’t oblige. “First of all, I didn’t take them off in front of you—”

  “You think those tree branches were an impenetrable shield?” he asked.

  “And second of all, I thought you were taking your clothes off, and I didn’t want you to be the only freak in the pond.”

  “Aw, that’s so sweet of you. You didn’t want me to be naked all alone.”

  “For the love of—Stop saying ‘naked.’”

  On the other side of the swimming hole, my phone rang, trilling the first few notes of Haley’s disco ringtone.

  “I’ll get it for you.” He began to rise, but I quickly grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back into the water.

  “No!”

  “Okay, get it yourself.”

  “She can go to voice mail.”

  Lee shaded his eyes and stared out over the creek as if he could see my phone from here. “You can’t stay in here forever.”

  “I know.”

  “You’ll wrinkle up,” he said with a cluck of his tongue. “Like your mama.”

  I splashed some water at him. “What?”

  “What what? Did you not hear me? I said—”

  “I know what you said, and it was kind of mean.”

  “Geez,” he drawled. “I was only joking.” He splashed water back at me and it went right up my nose.

  I coughed it out and shouted, “Screw you, Ryan!” as I shoveled handfuls of creek water at him.

  He shoveled it back. “Screw you, Daniels!”

  Back and forth it went, some childish taunts were thrown, and maybe there was a brief glimpse of some skin or body part I might not have wished to flash, but it wasn’t as if Lee could cover anything up either.

  “Screw it all!” Lee yelled. “And screw Nate Bingham!” His shout echoed against the rocky banks of the swimming hole.

  I stopped, my hands cupped to throw water. I was only partially submerged, head and shoulders above the surface, so I sank down onto my knees again to hide. “Lee . . .”

  “Screw . . .” Lee slammed his hands hard against the surface, aiming a tidal wave of water away from me and back toward the shore. “Nate . . .” He turned to face the rocks and I heard a hitch in his voice.

  “It was a stupid place for him to go. Goddamn it.” He slapped at the water. “A stupid thing for him to do.” And again. “I told him that. Like, who fucking cares about kids in goddamn Honduras, you know? Who cares?” Lee held his arms up to the sky as if posing his question to the universe.

  I felt a chill run up my spine and I remained as motionless as I could. “Nate cared—”

  Lee whipped around and aimed a finger at me. “No, he did not. He did not care.” His eyes were rimmed with red; water ran down his cheeks like fat tears. “He cared about going to college and to medical school—”

  “And this was supposed to help him do that!”

  “No!” Lee shook his head from side to side. “He could have stayed here and done a ton of other shit that would have been just as helpful. He didn’t have to leave. Fuck him. Fuck. Him.” He sank down into the water and let it cover his head. A few bubbles rose to the surface and then stopped.

  I waited. If I could hold my breath for a minute, how long could he? The air was still and quiet; nothing disturbed the solitude of the creek. I began to panic at the thought that Lee could drown—could he? Could he drown himself by sheer willpower? We were miles away from help. Not a soul knew we were here.

  A second minute passed and nearly a third and still, Lee remained below the surface.

  That was it. I lunged for him, dragging him up out of the water and pushing him toward the shore. Leaning over him, I pressed my hand against his bare chest, ready to start CPR if necessary.

  His eyes fluttered open and he coughed a few times, spitting water up and over his chin. He pushed back against the shore and sat up, coughing.

  I paddled back and away from him. “We’re even now. You saved my ass—”

  “And you saved my flabby white one.”

  He was trying to get out of this with a joke, but I wouldn’t let him. “What was that? What the hell did you think you were doing?”

  He shrugged, silent.

  “And that bullshit about Nate. Why would you say that?”

  Lee tried to swim away from me, but I grabbed his arm and forced him to look at me. “Why are you so angry?”

  “Middie, you’re the girlfriend.”

  “So? What does that mean?”

  He sighed and squirmed. “You’ve got a million people worrying about you, caring about you. Who am I? Huh? I’m no one.”

  “You were his friend.”

  “His best friend. My heart got broken just like yours. And there is not a single person who gives a shit.” He wiped a hand across his eyes as if he were erasing the emotions I could see in them so clearly.

  Lee had never shown me this side of himself before. I wanted to reach out to him—to let him know that I cared.

  We were side by side under the water, so very, very close to each other.

  But Lee couldn’t let the conversation remain serious. “So, hey, thanks for taking off all your clothes with me. This was awesome. Very therapeutic.”

  “Glad I could help.”

  “You want to do this again, you just . . .” He mimed dialing a phone and mouthed, Call me.

  “Uh-huh.”

  I followed him to the other side, hunched over to cover myself. I had to figure out how I was going to get out, get dry, and get dressed without him seeing me. When Lee got to the water’s edge, he ran to the bushes where his clothes were hanging and ducked out of sight.

  “Close your eyes!” I called to Lee. “I’m coming out.”

  “Please. You don’t have anything I haven’t seen before.”

  “Maybe I do.”

  “What is it? A third nipple? An extra toe?” His head popped up again. “Now, that I would have to see.”

  “Stop. Go back and close your eyes. Now,” I growled. I waited until he was completely hidden by the bushes and then I dashed to the edge of the shore, grabbed my clothes, and stumbled to the widest tree I could find. I was dripping wet and reluctant to put on my dry clothes, but I didn’t have much of a choice. Finally, I finished dressing and emerged from behind the trees to find Lee staring balefully at the creek. I felt like I was interrupting something.

  “You ready to go?” I asked as I gathered my purse and took a quick look at my messages. Ten texts from Haley, two voice mails.

  Lee nodded and we headed back to the Vespa through the woods. “Thanks for coming to the creek.”

  “So you always wanted to skinny-dip with Nate?” I teased him.

  Lee looked surprised. “I always wanted to come to this swimming hole,” he said. “You were the one who turned it into a strip joint.”

  I laughed as we stepped into the brutal heat from the cool of the woods. “You want a photo to commemorate this?” I asked when we got to his scooter.

  He grinned. “Yeah, okay. But get my good side this time.” He leaned in close to me as I held the phone in front of us. I felt his warm cheek against my cool one. The smell of the freshwater creek clung to his face and arms. “Naked cheese!”

  I burst into laughter, my eyes squeezing shut as the camera clicked. Oh yeah, that’s gonna be one great photo.

  CHAPTER thirteen

  Haley and I navigated a crowded cafeteria a couple of days later as a team of school council members were decorating the room for Halloween. Black and orange streamers fell in crisscrossing swaths while paper skeletons danced on the walls.

  “So you were deep into studying—is that what you’re telling me?” Haley asked as we both dodged glittery black cats made of crepe paper.

  “Chemistry,” I said, nearly blushing at the memory of Lee naked in the creek. “So many pop quizzes, you know?”

  “Uh-huh.”
>
  “I just needed some more time with the books, so I shut my phone off,” I went on. “Didn’t even see your message till last night.”

  Haley slid into an empty chair at our table. I hated lying to my best friend, but I knew it would just make her mad to know the truth. Studying was a better alternative to skinny-dipping with Lee.

  “Messages,” she said, emphasizing the last syllable. “Yeah, okay. As long as you’re all right.” She held my gaze for a long moment, scrutinizing me even as she unpacked her lunch. “You look . . . I don’t know . . . refreshed?”

  I nodded and quickly glanced into my own bagged lunch before she could read anything on my face. “Oh yeah. Got some extra sleep.”

  Haley smiled. “Good. Sleep is good.”

  “Hey! Did you see the decorations?” Katrina asked as she sat opposite us at the table. Debra took a seat seconds later.

  “I think the giant jack-o’-lantern is new this year,” Haley said as she bobbed her head toward the caf entrance, where a couple of girls were maneuvering a big soft-sided pumpkin. “Cute.”

  “Halloween is my very favorite holiday,” Katrina said, although this was not news to us at all.

  “Because we celebrate things that are orange? Like your hair?” Debra teased.

  “Ha, ha. I’ve been working on the haunted house.” Katrina immediately got down to business, pulling a small notebook out of her purse and opening it to a page filled with blue pen scribbles. She pushed aside her salad to make room for her notes.

  Every year she, Debra, and Haley volunteered to work at a haunted house that raised money for local charities. They dressed up as witches and vampires to scare kids and their parents, who paid a few bucks to walk through an old house decorated like something from The Addams Family.

  “I don’t want to be a witch this year,” Haley said. “I’d rather be a zombie.”

  Katrina consulted her notebook. “Okay, I think we can do that.”

  “Oh, me too!” Debra said.

  “You can’t both be zombies.”