“Did you talk to your teacher about it?”
“Yeah. She wanted to keep a closer eye on me. Even Joshua, Jasmine and Jade look at me like I’m weird.”
“How so?”
“As if they’re waiting for me to have a seizure and worrying what they’re gonna do.”
“The unknown is scary for them and they love you, so they’re worried.”
He crossed his arms. “I’m not broken.”
“I know that. You know it and your dad does. It might take others a little more time.”
Jeremy shoved open the door, stepped out and walked toward the building.
As Annie followed, her cell phone rang, and she saw it was Ian. She greeted him then said, “We just arrived at Caring Canines.”
“Good. My last patient canceled, so I’m heading there. Did Jeremy give you any problems?”
“Nope. He’s already inside.” Annie opened the door and slipped into the building, the sound of dogs barking in the background.
“His teacher called and said Jeremy was angry when he left. He got moved to the front by her desk, and he doesn’t want to be there. He doesn’t want any special treatment. I’ll email her and see if she’ll move him back.”
“I’m not sure you should. That might draw even more attention to him.”
“True. I’ll see what happens this week. I’m turning into the ranch. I’ll be there in a moment.”
Annie said, “See you soon.” She disconnected and returned her cell phone to her pocket then continued her trek to the back training room to make sure Jeremy was working with Emma and Rex. She paused at the doorway.
For all his complaining about attending, Jeremy was focusing his attention on what Emma was saying, Rex sitting next to him. Suddenly Rex got up and went behind Jeremy just as the boy crumbled to the floor, keeping his head from hitting the tiles.
Emma rolled him on his side and glanced at her watch while Annie found a small pillow and placed it under his head. Rex positioned himself next to Jeremy.
“I think Rex sensed the seizure coming on.” Emma looked up at Annie. “I didn’t see anything until he started dropping to the floor, but Rex was behind him before he fell.”
“They’re connecting.” Annie heard the sound of footsteps in the hallway. “Ian is coming.”
As Ian entered the room, Jeremy came out of his seizure, confused, scowling. Rex wiggled closer to Jeremy and settled down.
“How long was this one?”
“Ninety seconds,” Emma replied and moved so Ian could check his son. “Rex cushioned Jeremy’s head, so he didn’t hit it on the floor when he went down.”
“Is Rex okay?” Ian stroked the dog next to his son.
Emma ran her hands over the black Lab. “He’s fine. That’s one of the ways a service dog is able to help.”
Annie remembered the other children outside and said, “I’m going to check on Jasmine, Jade and Joshua.”
As she made her way to the outside play area, she hoped Madi was out there today like yesterday. The twins had listened to every word the teenage girl said. Jade had even declared on the way home that she wanted to volunteer at Caring Canines like the owner’s sister-in-law.
Outside, Madi leaned against the chain-link fence talking to Jade while Joshua played with the cocker spaniel Jade had on Saturday. Annie opened the gate and walked into the enclosure as Jasmine turned her attention to the cocker spaniel.
“What’s her name?” Jasmine called out to Madi.
“Daisy. She’s a sweetheart. I wish I could have another dog, but my brother says I already have a kennel full.”
Jade smiled at Annie then turned to Madi. “Is she going to be trained?”
“Maybe as a therapy dog. She was left a few weeks ago out by the gate.”
“I can’t believe people dump their pets like that.” Jade knelt near the cocker spaniel.
“It happens at least once a month. It makes Abbey and Emma mad. I help them find homes for the ones that aren’t trained. Have you all decided on a dog to take home yet?”
“We can pick today?” Joshua asked.
Madi looked at Annie who answered, “Yes, if you three can decide on one. Your dad talked with Emma yesterday about it.” Then in a lowered voice, Annie continued, “Madi, I need to go inside to see how Jeremy is doing. Will you help the children choose a dog?”
Madi grinned. “I would love to.”
At the door into the building, Annie glanced over her shoulder at the three children with Madi sitting on the ground in a circle around Daisy. Knowing they were in good hands, she hurried inside to see what was happening with Jeremy. As she approached the training room, Jeremy ran out, anger stamped on his face.
She started to go after him but stopped to see what Ian wanted her to do. She stepped into the room. His haggard look showed how bad the situation must have gotten. “Do you want me to try talking to him?”
“You can try. He wouldn’t listen to Emma or me. I’ll go get the other children. We need to leave and let Emma get back to work.” Defeat coated each word.
Annie wanted to comfort him, but at the moment Jeremy was her priority. The torment the child was going through tore at her heart. Annie found him on the other side of the Ford Explorer, sitting on the pavement, crying.
Suddenly a memory intruded into her thoughts: the first day she’d glimpsed herself in a mirror after she’d been discharged from the hospital. Stunned and broken, she’d sunk to the floor and sobbed at the sight of the red scars from what remained of her right ear and across her torso to her left hip, where the beam had landed on her.
No one could reach her at that time. She wouldn’t listen. But she had to try with Jeremy. She didn’t want him to go through the heartache she did.
She sat next to the child, about a foot away, and rested her arms on her raised knees. Staring off at a pasture with a stallion, she remained silent, waiting for Jeremy to say something. He needed to let his emotions out, then she would see if she could help.
Slowly his tears abated and he peered at her, more drained than angry. “Why are you here?”
“To be here for you.”
“I don’t need...” Tears welled into his eyes again, and he knuckled them away.
“Everyone needs someone, Jeremy. What you’re going through isn’t easy. I know. I went through something similar when I was fifteen.”
“You had seizures?”
“No, something different, but it affected my whole life.”
Jeremy’s forehead wrinkled. “Then, you don’t—”
Annie turned toward him and lifted her hair away from the scarred side of her face. “I was in a fire and burned badly from here—” she ran her hand across her chest to her thigh “—to here and was in the burn unit for weeks. I went through several operations. I missed a semester of school.”
Jeremy’s eyes widened while she combed her hair back into place.
“It changed my life. My mother died in that fire, and I miss her every day.”
His bottom lip trembled.
“I don’t tell people about it. I still try to hide it, and I prefer that you don’t say anything until I at least tell your father and your siblings myself. My burns could define who I am if I let them. You can let your seizures define you if you want, but they aren’t really you.”
Jeremy blinked, opened his mouth to say something but snapped it closed.
“I worried about people staring at me, making fun of me or looking at me horrified. The people I loved never did, and I learned over time the others weren’t important. The first person outside my family to visit me was my friend Becca, who had epilepsy. She accepted me for who I was and was there to support me. I was so angry I didn’t make it easy for her to stick by me.”
Jeremy looked at the stallion. “I don’t want to die from a seizure.”
“Why do you think you will?”
“My mom had one in the hospital right before she died.”
“I understand from your
father your mother died from a stroke. That can sometimes cause a seizure, but you aren’t having a stroke.”
“Then, why am I having seizures? What did I do wrong?” A tear ran down his face, and he swiped it away.
“Not a thing, Jeremy. Things happen to us that we have no control over. That’s when we have to turn our lives over to the Lord and not worry about the future. It’s in His hands. About the only thing worrying does is stress us out, and that’s not healthy. Jeremy, have you told your dad about your fears and your mother?”
Jeremy shook his head. “Mom’s death makes him sad.”
“He’d want to know this. You should talk to him.” Annie knew how much Ian loved his children. He made mistakes like all parents, but he was a good father.
“Maybe.” He looked again at the stallion.
“May I tell him? I won’t if you don’t want me to.”
A long moment passed before Jeremy finally nodded.
“How about Rex? I saw him cushion your fall. Rex can do some amazing things.”
“I know, but I don’t want to take him to school. The kids will know something is wrong with me.”
“Why don’t you tell them? Most kids would be interested, especially your friends. And dogs are a great way to start a conversation.”
“Maybe.”
“Your dad is rounding up the other children to leave. If you think you might take Rex, you need to let him and Emma know.”
“Rex was right next to me. He even licked my face.”
“You’ll never be alone when you have a seizure with Rex.”
“He’ll sleep with me?”
“Yes. He’ll become your buddy. I understand you used to have a dog and loved her.”
“Yeah. She died. I don’t want to lose another pet.”
Annie heard Joshua’s voice, which meant the family was almost at the cars. “Death is hard, but it’s part of life. If you never have a pet, you can’t enjoy years of companionship with one.” She rose and held out her hand to help Jeremy to his feet.
He stared at it a few seconds then clasped it. “I won’t say anything to the others about your scars.” His words, spoken in a serious tone, forged a bond between them.
“Thank you.”
When Jeremy stood, his siblings climbed in the other side of the Ford Explorer while Ian talked with Emma at the entrance into the building. He held a leash with the cocker spaniel on it.
“It looks as though your brother and sisters picked Daisy as their pet.”
Jeremy skirted the front of the Ford Explorer and walked toward his father.
Annie trailed Jeremy to find out what was going on concerning Rex.
Daisy greeted Jeremy with her tail wagging. He patted her, then stood next to his dad.
“Have you decided to continue training with Rex?” Ian asked.
“Yes, but I don’t know about taking him to school.”
Ian clasped his son’s shoulder. “We’ll take it one day at a time.”
“You won’t make me?”
“No. I think you’ll find Rex is good for you and want to take him.” Ian turned to Emma. “I guess they’ll be back tomorrow. Okay?”
“Yes. Jeremy, Rex is already bonding with you so I’m glad you decided to continue the training.”
Ian said, “For the rest of this week, I’ll clear my schedule so I can bring Jeremy. I want to be involved.” He shook Emma’s hand.
As Jeremy, Ian and Annie walked toward the Ford Explorer, the boy said, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Dad. I’ll be okay.”
“I know that, son, but I saw Rex in action today, and it’s fascinating to see what a dog can do to help people.”
“In the meantime, your sisters and brother can acclimate Daisy to your home so hopefully they won’t complain too much that they aren’t coming.” Annie opened the back door to the Ford Explorer and the cocker spaniel got in with Jade’s assistance.
While Jeremy slid into the front seat, Annie accompanied Ian toward the rear. She paused and lowered her voice, saying, “Jeremy said I could tell you. One of his concerns is that his mom died after a seizure.”
Ian closed his eyes for a few seconds. “I forgot he was visiting his mom when she had her last stroke, and she did have a seizure. Everything got so hectic after that. I wish he’d said something to me.”
“He thought you were sad when you talked about your wife.”
Ian sucked in a large breath and released it slowly. “He’s right. I’ll have a talk with him. In fact, I will with each of my children. They need to know they can come to me with anything.”
“Sounds good. See you at home.” Annie turned toward the SUV.
Ian caught her arm. She glanced back at him. The look of appreciation in his eyes made her feel special in that moment, more than she had in a long time.
“Annie, I don’t even know where to begin thanking you for your help.”
She covered his hand with hers, the physical connection making everything, except the man near her, fade from her consciousness. She smiled. “You just did.” Then she continued around the Ford Explorer to the driver’s side, missing his touch. Too dangerous for her to get used to that. Annie had let down her defenses in college, risked her heart with David and ended up brokenhearted. She couldn’t go through that again.
Annie realized as she started the car that when she’d said, “See you at home,” she’d felt as if Ian’s house really was her home. More than she had at any place she’d worked as a nanny. The realization stunned her.
* * *
Later that night Annie fixed herself a cup of tea to sip while she read a suspense story. After the eventful day, she needed some downtime before trying to sleep. Dinner earlier was the first time that Jeremy hadn’t been angry or ready to argue over everything being discussed. He even paid attention to Daisy. The dog chose to sleep with Jade, much to Joshua’s disappointment.
As Annie moved toward the living area in her apartment with her drink, a knock sounded at the door. She detoured and opened it to find Ian standing on the landing. “Is Jeremy okay?”
“Yes. They all are, even Jade with Daisy. I won’t keep you, but I wanted to thank you again for letting me know what was going on with Jeremy. Tonight he actually participated in the dinner discussion. I wish he’d felt he could tell me, but at least he told you. I intend to talk to him tomorrow on the way home from Caring Canines.”
“You’re welcome, Ian. Come in. I need to talk to you.”
“As long as you don’t give your notice.” He grinned.
“No, definitely not that, but it’s something I should have told you from the beginning.”
Confusion clouded his face as he shut the door and moved toward the living area, sitting down on a chair while she took the couch.
“Sorry. That sounds as though it’s serious. Well, I guess it is but only to me.” Ian’s intense look, as though he were trying to figure out what she was going to say, made her nervous.
“Something wrong?”
“No.” Annie swallowed hard. “I told Jeremy about a problem I had as a teenager and how hard it had been on me. I was angry at life. I feel I need to tell you, too, and if it’s okay, I want the rest of your children to know.”
“What are you talking about?”
Annie glanced toward the kitchen, stalling. “Would you like some tea?”
Ian sat forward in his chair kitty-corner from her on the couch and took her hand. “No, but I would like you to tell me before I go crazy wondering what you want to say.”
Her breath trapped in her lungs, Annie brushed back her hair and pushed her turtleneck collar down to reveal her scarred ear and neck.
Chapter Eight
Deeply scarred tissue, mostly red with a few white streaks, took Ian by surprise. He’d been thinking all kinds of things Annie could tell him, but this wasn’t one of them. “What happened?”
“I was in a fire at our family cabin. A beam fell across me, pinning me. My father manage
d to rescue me, but not—my mother in the other room.” Tears filled her eyes.
The urge to comfort her overwhelmed him. Ian had helped burn victims throughout his career, and the pain associated with that kind of injury was intense. He moved to the couch, drawing her against him. If in that moment he could have wiped the memory and effects of the fire from her, he would have. She had done so much for him and his children in a short time. “I’m so sorry. I know how hard that must have been for you.”
Annie shuddered as though memories inundated her. “I didn’t even get to go to my mother’s funeral because I was in the burn unit.”
It had been important to Ian to go to Zoe’s funeral to say goodbye. If he hadn’t been able, there was no telling the emotional state he would be in now. “Did your family have a memorial service for her later so you could attend?”
“Yes...” She pulled back, erecting a wall between them. “But I’m not the issue. Jeremy is. I told him because I wanted him to realize I know what he’s going through. His life has been changed suddenly, and he has to find ways to deal with it. Until his seizures are under better control, he’ll need to be watched more. He’s rebelling. I did, too.”
Ian clamped his teeth together to keep all his questions about her situation to himself. His inquiries wouldn’t be appreciated, and that saddened him. He wanted Annie to share her life with him as he had with her. “So that’s the reason he changed his mind about Rex,” he finally said.
“I don’t know if it was, but when you’re hurting like he is, knowing others have survived difficult situations helps. I told him about losing my mother, too. He needs Rex, and I think he’ll figure that out once Rex comes to live with him.”
Are you all right? The urge to ask her overwhelmed him, but he couldn’t. Ian had the feeling Annie didn’t share her experience with many, and he tried to respect her privacy.
Her hair, back in its usual place now, effectively covered her visible scars. The doctor in him wanted to examine them and see what he could do. Did she see her scars as a penance because she’d survived the fire and her mother hadn’t? Why hadn’t she done more to diminish them? There were creams and makeup that could help. Her ear could be replaced with a prosthetic one. Was it money? Or something else? As the thoughts swirled through his mind, Ian realized he needed more information, but he didn’t feel he could ask her. Maybe after she’d worked for him longer, he could get her the help she needed.
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