“At least tomorrow I can reassure him that his mother didn’t have epilepsy and didn’t die from a seizure. When are you going to tell the others?”
“When the time is right. I don’t want them to think it’s a big deal. I’ve learned to accept my scars.”
“There are some procedures that would mask—”
“Don’t. They are part of me now.”
“But you can get help.”
Annie bolted to her feet. “I can’t afford the medical procedures. End of conversation.”
Ian knew when to back off, but that didn’t mean he would forget it. He could help her. He needed to help her. “I shouldn’t have overstepped my boundaries. In a short time, you’ve done so much for my family that...” The anger in her expression stilled the rest of his sentence. “I’d better return to my house.”
On the short walk to the back door into the kitchen, Ian couldn’t shake the idea there was something he could do for Annie. It was hard for him to turn away from someone in need, especially someone who had been there for him. Someone he cared about. Maybe once they got to know each other better, she would be willing to listen to what he could arrange for her.
* * *
“That went well with Rex today.” Ian pulled away from Caring Canines the next day, still not sure how to approach his son about his mother.
At a four-way stop sign on the highway into Cimarron City, Ian glanced toward Jeremy. His son had been active in the training with Rex rather than a bystander. That might not have happened without Annie sharing her ordeal. When they’d talked in her apartment last night, Ian had gotten a glimpse of what had made her who she was today. She’d acted as though she’d accepted what happened. Ian wasn’t so sure she really had, and if not, she could never live her life fully.
He pulled out into the intersection. “I had a talk with Annie yesterday. She told me about when you saw your mother have a seizure right before she died. Jeremy, I want you to know that a seizure didn’t cause her death. Not at all. She died from a second stroke.” His voice quavered with the memory.
“I miss her.”
“So do I, but I know that your mom would want you to move on. She would want the best for you.” And for me. Ian needed to listen to his own words. Zoe wouldn’t want him mourning her for the rest of his life. “Son, you can talk to me any time you want about anything. In fact, at our next family meeting, we should talk about your mother. I don’t want you to think you can’t.”
“Did...Annie...tell you anything else?”
“Yes. She told me about her scars.”
Jeremy blew a long breath out. “Good. I didn’t know how long I could keep that a secret. Why does she hide them?”
“Probably for the same reason you don’t want anyone to see you having a seizure.”
“She’s embarrassed? She thinks someone will make fun of her?”
Ian nodded.
“But she’s a grown-up.”
“Age doesn’t have anything to do with it.”
Jeremy was silent for a long moment, then asked, “What do you do when someone makes fun of you?”
“Did they?”
“No, not yet.”
“If it happens, ignore them.” Had someone made fun of Annie? He hated the thought that she might have been ridiculed because of her scars.
“How?”
“Walk away. Once you engage them you feed into what they want. Most people make fun of a person because they are scared what might happen to them or they’re trying to get attention.”
“There’s a guy at school like that.”
“Have you ever told your teacher?”
“I’m not a tattletale.”
“There are times you need to speak up.” Ian pulled into the garage.
“How am I supposed to know when?”
“If it’s hurting someone in any way, you should let your teacher know. Has this guy ever bothered you?”
Jeremy shook his head. “But if I have a seizure, he will.”
“Let me know if he does.”
His son climbed from the Lexus.
“Jeremy, will you?”
He sighed. “Maybe.” Then he hurried toward the door to the breezeway.
At a slower pace Ian made his way into the house, not sure how successful he’d been with talking with his son. Only time would tell.
When he came into the kitchen, Annie was drawing a star over April 27. She looked back at him and smiled. “Joshua told me I forgot to mark his birthday.”
“He won’t let anyone forget.” Ian started across the room but stopped when he spied a vase full of red tulips. “Where did these come from?”
“I think I have a secret admirer. They were in my car seat this morning when I drove the kids to school.” She finished the yellow star and faced him. “Any idea who?”
“A secret admirer?”
“Perhaps.”
Or...something else. “I’ll be right back to help with supper.”
Ian entered his office and put his briefcase on his desk then went to the window on the left side of the house. His red tulips were gone. Cut. He laughed and decided not to say anything to Annie.
* * *
A week later Annie entered the dining room to find Joshua standing at the window looking out front. Daisy sat next to him. “Are you watching for Jeremy and your dad?”
“Yes. So is Daisy.”
“She is?” Smiling, Annie crossed to Joshua and sat in a chair near him. “Your sisters are upstairs watching from Jade’s room.”
“Yup, but I’m gonna get outside faster.”
“Not without me.”
A few days earlier he’d darted across a parking lot at school without looking. A woman had had to slam on her brakes and barely missed him. His teacher had still been shaken when Annie had picked up Joshua from school.
He hung his head. “I know.”
Annie peered out the window and saw Ian’s car turn in to the long driveway. “They’re here.”
Joshua started to run for the front door, but Annie caught up with him and stopped his mad dash. She offered her hand to him as Jade and Jasmine stormed down the stairs.
Ian pulled into the garage but left the door up. By the time Jeremy climbed from the car and Rex followed, they were surrounded by everyone wanting to pet the new dog.
Ian joined Annie. He looked tired. He’d left the house early that morning for surgery. “How did it go?”
“Jeremy was actually excited about getting Rex.” Ian leaned close and murmured, “Although he tried to hide it.”
His whispered words tickled the side of her face, creating goose bumps on her arms. “I’ve noticed he’s been researching black Labs and service dogs. I’m not sure he’ll admit it, but I think he’s glad he went ahead with getting Rex.”
“Did you get everything set up for Joshua’s birthday party Saturday?”
“I’ve invited his classmates and have the All-Star Combo bounce house being delivered that morning. They’ll be able to jump, climb and slide.”
“And they’ll be exhausted when they leave.”
Annie backed away as the children left the garage with both dogs. “I think Daisy and Rex will be the hit of the party.”
“I think so, too. Has Jeremy changed his mind about taking Rex to school?”
“No, but give him time,” she said, “especially when he sees the younger kids wanting to know all about Rex.”
“I’m praying he doesn’t have an incident at school before that.” Ian strolled with Annie toward the front door.
“Do you see how Daisy follows Rex? Emma told me they were buddies at Caring Canines. She’s been a good choice for the kids.”
Ian held the door open for Annie. “Have you gotten anything else from your secret admirer?” A gleam lit his eyes.
“Yes, how did you know?” It couldn’t be Ian. She felt as though one of the kids was behind the gifts she’d been receiving the past week.
He shrugged. Does he know
something? “A candy bar, my favorite kind. I remember all of us talking at dinner the other night about what we liked, and surprise, I had one on my seat in the Explorer this morning.”
“I’m sure this secret admirer will come forward eventually.” Ian looked away. “I’ve got some literature you might be interested in. I meant to give it to you last night, but with the kids going to all their activities and then getting them ready for bed, I forgot.”
As the four children ascended the stairs, Annie tried to decide if she should point-blank ask him who her secret admirer was. “Literature? If it’s not a suspense story, I won’t be reading it.”
“This isn’t a book. I’ll be right back.” Ian headed toward his office on the ground floor.
What was he up to? When she saw him carrying a brochure, Annie’s stomach tightened. Something told her she didn’t want to see it. She straightened, tensing as though preparing for a hit.
“This is about prosthetic ears.” Ian handed it to her.
Annie stared at it but wouldn’t take it. “I can’t afford it, so there’s no reason to read it.” Anger welled in her, quickly replaced by hurt. Why couldn’t he accept her, flaws and all? “I’m going to check on the kids then start dinner. I don’t need help this evening.” She started for the stairs.
“Wait, Annie. I didn’t mean to make you mad.”
She rotated toward him. “I’m not angry. Disappointed.”
She hurried up the steps, needing to put space between them. She had set out trying to hide her scars with her long hair covering her ear and turtleneck shirts even in summer, but she didn’t like being the center of attention or the idea people thought she needed to be fixed.
After checking on the children and dogs, Annie prepared a Mexican chicken casserole that would be easy to serve without her here. Then she called her sister and told her she was coming over. By her own choice she had very few days or nights off, but this evening when the family sat down for dinner, she was leaving to see Amanda.
* * *
Annie paced the back porch at Amanda’s. “Nothing is wrong with me. Why does he want to fix me?”
“I’m getting whiplash with your pacing. Sit so we can have a conversation. People have said things to you before. You don’t usually get this worked up, so why are you getting upset now?”
Annie stopped in front of her twin. “Ian was supposed to be different.”
“He was? Did you let him know that?”
“I told him I couldn’t afford it. That should have been the end. It wasn’t. He gave me a brochure about a prosthetic ear. Why?”
“Did you ask him?”
“Well, no, not exactly. I told him again I didn’t have the money then handed the brochure back.” Annie sat across from her sister.
“He’s a plastic surgeon. That’s the kind of thing he does for a living. I once dated a dentist who kept staring at my teeth. He told me that’s the first thing he checks out on a person.”
“So since I told him last week, he’s been trying to figure out a way to make me better.” Annie heard the sarcasm pour from her voice, mingling with hurt.
“I know we’ve talked about this before, but you usually shut it down. Annie, why won’t you look into treatment for your scars? You were burned almost fourteen years ago. There have been so many advances in medicine. I don’t see why you don’t at least investigate your options and how much each one costs. You know we’d help you as much as possible.”
Annie rose and began pacing again, her hands fisted at her sides. “That isn’t the kind of support I came here for. You of all people should understand.”
Amanda planted herself in Annie’s path. “Understand what?”
Didn’t anyone understand what she’d gone through? “It’s my reparation for Mom.”
“You still believe that?” Amanda’s voice had risen several decibels. “That’s the last thing Mom would ever want. If that’s what you believe, I know the emotional scars will never totally go away. It was an accident, Annie. Accept that and forgive yourself.”
Each word her sister said struck her like a slap, stinging and hurting. “It’s not that easy. Forgive and forget.” Annie snapped her fingers. “Just like that. Tell myself and it’s done.”
“I didn’t say it was easy. If God can forgive you, why can’t you forgive yourself? I think that’s why you won’t do anything about your scars.”
Annie charged to the sliding glass doors and headed toward the front exit. “I needed sympathy, not accusations. Good night.”
She sat in her car, clutching the steering wheel until her hands ached. Annie thought the one person who would understand was her twin. A van passed her, its headlights illuminating the interior of her vehicle. She caught a glimpse of herself in the rearview mirror, the edges of her scars peeking out from behind her hair. The sight taunted her.
Annie looked down and tried to compose herself before returning to the McGregors’ house. She released her hold on the steering wheel and flexed her hands. A tiny voice inside her kept insisting she leave Ian before she began to care about him. Who was she kidding? She cared about him now. Hadn’t she learned her lesson with David?
For a brief time Annie had thought a man could overlook her scars, but David’s disgust had destroyed that dream. She’d finally started dating and begun to let down her guard with David. When she’d showed him the scars, he hadn’t been able to get away from her fast enough.
But Annie had promised the children she’d be there for them. They’d lost so many caretakers in two years. She couldn’t leave now, especially with Jeremy fighting to accept himself. He was fragile, warming to her and yet still holding himself back. Jasmine, too.
Annie finally started the car and drove back to her apartment. She’d get a good night’s sleep and be all right tomorrow. The next few days wouldn’t be as hectic as the weekend with the birthday party.
She parked in the three-car garage and rounded the corner to climb the stairs to her apartment. For a few seconds her heartbeat galloped at the sight of a man sitting on the bottom step. She gasped.
“Sorry, I should have said something.”
“Where’s your truck?”
Her youngest brother pushed to a standing position. “Being towed to the dealer. I had Ken drop me off here so I could borrow your car for the next couple of days.”
Annie jammed both fists onto her waist. “Have you ever heard of calling before assuming you could take my car?”
“I texted you. I thought maybe you were putting the kids down, so I told your boss that I’d wait for you on the stairs.”
Annie dug into her purse and found her dead cell phone. “I forgot to charge it last night.” She assessed her brother for a long moment. “I guess you can use my car.”
“Where have you been? Ian didn’t know where you were.”
“Out. None of your business or his. And if you persist with the questions, I won’t loan you my Honda.” She placed the keys into his hand and punched the garage door opener. “Did you have a wreck?” she finally asked.
“No, the brakes failed, and I went over a curb. I finally stopped inches from hitting a big tree trunk.”
Ian suddenly came into the garage from the breezeway but hung back. Annie didn’t have to look to know he was staring at her. A flutter zipped through her at the brief sight of him.
She peered at Charlie, trying to ignore Ian’s presence but failing miserably. “Let me know when you can return it.”
“Will do.”
After her brother backed her car out of the garage, she hit the button on the door opener to close it. Maybe Ian, still in the garage, would get the point she wasn’t ready to talk to him.
But what if something had happened to one of the children? Annie started to punch the button again to open it, but Ian beat her to it.
He strode toward her. Worry lines etched his forehead.
“Ian, is something wrong with Jeremy?”
“No. The kids are fine and asleep
and so are the dogs—Rex with Jeremy and Daisy with Joshua.”
“So he finally persuaded Daisy to sleep with him.”
“I think the girls came to an agreement with their little brother. Daisy is going to rotate where she sleeps.”
“That seems reasonable.”
“But not what I did earlier. I assumed you’d want to look at that information, never thinking of the cost. I’m sorry.”
What tension was left in her body melted away. It was hard to stay mad at Ian because he did have good intentions, and when he looked at her scars, it hadn’t been with revulsion but like a doctor examining an injury. But still.
“Ian, I am who I am. It’s totally my decision what I do.”
But Ian hadn’t said anything her family hadn’t... Annie had her life mapped out just fine, and she helped people. That was her purpose, not to be a wife and mother.
“I didn’t want to go to bed without making amends. You’re important to this family.”
“I’m glad, Ian.” I want to be needed.
“Good night,” Ian said and walked to the door to the breezeway.
Annie made her way toward the staircase on the side of the garage, trying to focus on all the things she needed to get done before fifteen children descended on the house on Saturday. She didn’t get far because her thoughts always returned to Ian. If he ever decided to remarry, he’d make some woman a good husband. That realization didn’t sit well with her as she mounted the steps.
Chapter Nine
On Friday Annie picked up the phone. “The McGregors’ residence.”
“This is Mrs. Haskell, Jeremy’s teacher. May I speak with Annie Knight?”
“This is she.” Her heart began beating double-time. Something was wrong.
“I tried Dr. McGregor’s office, and they said he was in surgery. Your name is the other one on the contact sheet.”
“Is Jeremy okay?”
“He’s with the nurse. He had a seizure on the playground after lunch. Physically he’s fine, but he was upset when he saw the other kids around him. He refused to come back to class, and the nurse told me he fell asleep on their cot.”
The Nanny's New Family (Caring Canines) Page 10