“But I want to play with Katie too.” Jessica put on an exaggerated pouty face making them all laugh.
"Thank you. All of you.” Lindsey's eyes looked watery, but she didn't cry. “If Katie needs me, please come get me."
"Will do." Jake watched his mom lead Lindsey out the door.
Jessica punched him again.
"What was that for?" he asked.
"You're supposed to make her want to stay, not tell her she looks tired. No woman likes to hear that."
"But she is tired. Probably drove all night from the look of the empty 5-hour shots in her floorboards."
"Maybe so, but you don't say it. Don't you want her to stay?"
"Yeah." Jake felt his stomach drop at the realization of how much he did want her to stay. I don't even know her, so why do I care?
"Then put on a little charm. Didn't you learn anything in college?"
"I learned tons of stuff about soil quality, fertilizers, and so on."
"Hopeless!" Jessica stormed out the door.
Jake shook his head. He'd never told his mom or sister the other lessons he learned in college. He knew he was hopeless around women. That's why he'd avoided all things dating since coming home a few years ago. It seemed he could never get the words right, and most women wanted a man who wanted more out of life than a good year with the crops. More than one co-ed had laughed in his face when they learned he was an agriculture major.
He wasn't getting any younger though. It was time to try dating again, or at least talking to women, but darned if he knew how to do it without putting his foot in his mouth.
Chapter 4
Lindsey showered before laying down for a nap. The warm water felt heavenly as it washed away the grime of driving all night. Although she still felt bone tired, she also felt lighter for having shared her story with Marion. She'd never cried over Steven leaving her. Perhaps she should have done that sooner.
She put on the clean clothes Jessica had loaned her. Lindsey had to admit she felt proud to fit in the teenagers clothes.
Don't be silly. No one's going to be looking at you anyway.
The voice in her head sounded too much like Steven. When the negative thoughts slipped in, Lindsey had learned to hit her knees. She knelt by the bed and poured out her heart.
Dear, God. I know you're there, and I know you're watching over me and Katie. Thank you for keeping us safe today. And thank you for sending Jake to help us. His family is wonderful. They asked me to stay, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to take advantage, but for the first time since Momma died, I feel safe. Loved. Please help me. Show me the way so I can take care of my baby girl.
Amen.
She waited, hoping to get an answer before getting off her knees and crawling into the bed. There were no words, no thoughts. She didn't know what to do yet, but she felt a comforting peace settle over her. Somehow it would all work out. She'd get her car fixed, drive to West Virginia and get a job. Her brother would help her and Katie would never feel the sting of her father leaving. Not if Lindsey could do anything about it.
Jake knew he should work on his projects, but he found running around outside with Katie much more enjoyable. Her little legs struggled through the four inches of snow, so he stomped down paths for her. At times she'd run headlong into a snowdrift built up by the wind, falling in face first. She thought that was the best thing ever, because each time she did, he swept her up and swung her through the air. Her laughter was the most joyful sound he'd ever heard. It was better than ice cream on a summer day. Better than the smell of fresh cut hay. It might even be better than Christmas morning.
The thought jolted through him. Christmas morning as a child had always been magical. He'd missed those mornings since growing up. Would it feel like that again if Katie and her mom stayed?
"Hey, peanut." He ruffled the curls that peeked out from her wool cap.
"Dadda?" she held her arms up in the way he had learned meant 'pick me up.'
He obliged and tossed her in the air. She squealed and giggled.
"Up,” she demanded.
He tossed her again, wishing the day would never end. The insights had him sending up a prayer of gratitude.
Thanks for this day. Help me find a good woman to start a family with that will help me feel like this all the time.
Jake realized that was probably what God had wanted for him all along, but he'd let his fears keep him from looking. He set Katie down and she was off and running again. He followed, ready to pick her up as soon as she needed him.
Lindsey woke to the sound of muffled laughter. After a good stretch, she peeked out the window to find Jake throwing Katie high in the air. Her daughter squealed and giggled in a way Lindsey had never heard. It sounded like pure joy.
Jake set her down and she took off running. The big man followed close behind. It was clear from the smile on his face he was having as much fun as Katie. That's what her daughter deserved. A dad who adored her.
Lindsey felt a burning desire to be out there with them. She grabbed her coat, slipped into her boots, and hurried downstairs. The snow sparkled in the afternoon light. She shielded her eyes to watch her daughter. Katie pushed and grunted at a large snowball. Every once in a while, Jake would nudge it for her. Both their cheeks were rosy from the cold.
"Looks like you guys are having fun,” she called to them.
Jake looked up. "Hey, want to join us?"
"Momma, play?" Katie held her mittened hands toward her.
"I'd love to." Lindsey stepped off the porch. "Snowman?"
"Yep. Why don't you start on the middle while we finish the bottom." Jake went back to rolling the snow across the yard. "Where do you want it, peanut?"
"No-man." Katie jumped up and down.
"There?" Jake pointed.
Katie nodded her little head.
"Good spot." He moved the growing orb into place.
Lindsey rolled her ball toward them. She loved seeing her daughter so happy. It almost made up for the fact that she'd forgotten her gloves. Her hands were already stinging from the cold.
"Hey, let me take that. I'm so stupid." Jake took the snowball from her and placed it on top of his base.
It was far too small to look proportional, but Lindsey didn't get to think about it for long. Jake pulled off his gloves and reached for her hands.
"We've got to get your fingers thawed out." He rubbed one hand and then the other with his warmer ones before taking both and blowing on them. His breath was hot, sending pinpricks through her fingers. "Do you have gloves?"
Lindsey looked up into his cheerful eyes. She felt the spark deep in her heart. When was the last time Steven had cared what was going on with her? Had he ever?
"Um, I think they're in my car." She found it hard to think.
"Oh, we should drive by TJ's shop and get all of your stuff. He said it might take a couple of days to get everything fixed."
Lindsey deflated. She glanced at Katie, who was busy stomping on the snow. Days without her car would mean more money spent on the hotel, and it didn't bode well for the cost of repairs.
Jake squeezed her hands and spoke as if he could read her mind. "You can stay here as long as you need. Mom won't charge you because we're not officially open to the public yet."
"That's not right. I should pay her something."
Jake smiled. "Good luck with that. And TJ will give you the best possible price. I explained what happened with the semi. None of this is your fault and the trucker's insurance should have payed for it."
"Insurance. I didn't even think of that." Ug, she could barely afford the insurance now. If her rates went up, she'd really be in trouble.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. Jessica's right, I'm hopeless at talking to pretty women." Jake pushed his gloves onto her hands. "Let's forget about it for now and just enjoy an afternoon in the snow."
He thinks I'm pretty? Lindsey smiled up at him, finding she had needed to hear that more than she
ever thought she would. She kind of liked that he acted nervous around her too. "Thanks. Let's finish this snowman."
They worked side by side, helping Katie make the last snowball for the head. Then Jake ran in to get all the things they needed to dress him up. When they were all done, they stood back to admire their work.
"He looks pretty good." Lindsey held Katie's hand. "I can't remember the last time I helped make a snowman."
"Me either." Jake picked up Katie's wool cap from the ground and placed it gently on her head.
Lindsey's heart ached when Katie held her arms out to the man.
"Up!"
"Okay, peanut." Jake lifted her up and she immediately rested her head on his shoulder.
"I think she's found a new best friend."
"She's something else."
Jessica yelled from the front porch, "Hey, you guys want some dinner?"
Chapter 5
Jake carried Katie inside, trying his best not to stare at her mother. Something strange had happened when he glanced up to see her standing on the porch. It looked like a weight had lifted from Lindsey's shoulders, and it suited her. He enjoyed building the snowman with her, and he'd made it a point to keep both his girls smiling.
Whoa. They're not my girls.
Jake stopped in the middle of the room. Why would he think of them as his? Until today, he'd never thought about a family of his own. He couldn't deny that every time Katie called him dadda he melted and wished he had really earned the title.
"You okay?" Jessica winked at him.
"What?"
"You look like you just got hit up side the head with a two-by-four." She laughed and reached for Katie. "You've played with her all day. Let me have a turn."
He glanced at Lindsey. She waited at the table by his mom. Her cheeks were pink from being outside, her golden hair shone in the kitchen lights, and her eyes sparkled. She was one of the prettiest women he'd ever seen. How could that idiot of a husband leave her behind?
"Come on, Jake. Take that off and join us." Jessica tugged on his coat. Then she bent close and whispered, "Do you like her?"
Jake grunted and took his coat back to the stand by the front door. He planned to take his time, not wanting to encourage any other questions from his sister. Unfortunately, Jessica had followed him.
"I really want to know. You had this sappy look on your face when you were looking at her just now. I've never seen you do that." Jessica stared him down.
"You're being silly. I just met her today, and she'll be moving on when her car's fixed." Jake felt his face warm. When had he turned into such a girl?
"Well, I like her, and if you like her, I'd gladly help you do something to impress her."
"Jess, you need to mind your own business." He brushed past her and headed for the kitchen.
Jake made himself useful helping his mom move stuff to the table. He listened to the conversation, but didn't know how to contribute to talk about ribbons and bows for little girls. Soon the talk shifted to recipes. It sounded like Lindsey loved cooking and taking care of her home.
"Growing up, we always made our own butter. You've never tasted butter until you've had it fresh. After my dad died, we couldn't keep the dairy farm going on our own. Steven bought it and my mom bought a little house in town." Lindsey stopped talking, and a little wrinkle appeared on her forehead.
"Is Steven your ex?" Jake asked. He didn't understand why everyone glared at him over the table.
"Yeah. I just realized he got our farm at a steal of a price, he got the money from the sale of my mom's house, and he got most of the cash from the sale of the farm."
Jake's jaw hurt from clenching. He tried to relax, but he found his temper wouldn't cool down. Jessica nudged him with her foot under the table. At a loss for what to say, he wadded his napkin up and pushed back from the table.
"Excuse me." He stormed out the back door.
Lindsey followed Jake outside. The cold hit her immediately, but she felt driven to know what had the kind-hearted man so upset. She found him on the back porch.
"Hey." She didn't really know what she wanted to ask now that she could see his clenched hands and the scowl on his face.
"I don't get it. How could someone as kind as you marry such a jerk?" His anger laced every word with a bite.
Lindsey took a step back. Why was he angry at her?
"I was young." She shook her head, remembering she'd promised herself to be stronger. "Not that it's any of your business. I appreciate your help today, and your family's hospitality, but my life is not your problem."
She turned and stormed back inside. Everyone looked up from the table.
"Excuse me for a minute." She headed up the stairs to the room Marion had given her.
The flicker of resentment at Jake's judgment quickly gave way to a deep sadness. Once again she'd mistaken someone's intentions. She thought he was different from Steven. Or maybe the hour of lighthearted play had her hoping he was different.
Her ex had been just as nice when he started dating her. It wasn't until after they were married that she realized how controlling he was. He'd basically kept her hidden at home except for when she went to work. Even then, he'd dropped her off and picked her up. She hadn't had any free time for friends since their wedding day. Then, after four years, he'd left her with no one to turn to. She'd had to learn how to budget, pay the bills, pretty much everything since then.
Well, she wasn't nineteen anymore. She was wiser now, and she had a daughter to look after.
Lindsey swiped at a stupid tear that escaped. If she was so much smarter, why had today felt so right?
Jake would have gone straight home, but his family was decorating the tree. He'd always been home for that, and he wouldn't let his hurt pride mess up his mom's night. Especially since Josh hadn't been able to come home this year.
Lindsey came downstairs and tried to take Katie back up with her. His parents had insisted they stay and help with the tree. Jake tried to ignore the looks his family kept shooting his way. Instead, he lifted Katie so she could hang decorations higher on the tree.
"Pwetty." She clapped her little hands.
"It sure is. You're good at this, peanut." He set her down and watched her walk to her mom.
"Momma, pwetty." Katie pointed to the tree.
Lindsey looked up from where she sat untangling a strand of lights from some garland. She looked him in the eye for only a moment before redirecting her attention to the tree. "It sure is sweetie."
Jessica tugged on his sleeve and whispered. "What happened?"
He shrugged and hung another ornament.
"Well, you need to fix it."
"I didn't do anything." He whispered back, but he could still feel the rest of the room watching him.
Jessica looked at him as if she didn't believe him, and she was probably right. He just didn't understand what he'd done wrong.
"We need the hammer from the kitchen. Can you go get it?" Jessica asked.
"Sure." Anything to get a breather from the tension.
He was looking through several drawers and coming up empty when Lindsey entered the kitchen.
"Oh. Sorry. Jessica sent me to find a hammer." She paused in the doorway.
"Of course she did. She doesn't think I can do anything on my own." Jake slammed the drawer shut and took a deep breath while saying a silent prayer. Let me say the right thing. "Lindsey, I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know what I did, but I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's just that I can't understand how any man could have left you behind." He felt like an idiot rambling on, hoping to stumble on the right approach.
"Oh." She took another step into the kitchen. "So, you weren't angry at me?"
"Why would I be mad at you?"
Lindsey shrugged, but wouldn't look him in the eye. She looked lost again. "I don't know. Thanks for telling me though. I do appreciate all you've done for me, but I have to learn to take care of myself now."
"I know, but I wan
t to help. We all want to help." He stepped closer and waved toward the room where the rest of his family waited. It was all he could do not to reach out and hold her. The moment felt heavy, but he still didn't know what to do or say.
"I appreciate that, but you've done enough." She backed up and left him alone. Again.
Chapter 6
The next day, Jake stayed away from the hotel as long as possible. He cleaned his kitchen and avoided his phone. His mom and sister persisted in calling and texting though. They'd worn him down by lunch time so he headed into town. He stopped at TJ's to check on Lindsey's car before heading to the hotel.
"It won't take much longer to fix. Most of the repairs are from neglect and not the accident." TJ walked around the car pointing things out. "I've already hammered out the dents, and the part I need is being delivered from Rawlins in a day or two."
"Well, that's good." Jake tried to ignore the sinking feeling pressing him down. Lindsey could be on her way, and she'd made it clear that's what she wanted. "Anything I can do to help offset the cost?"
"Nah, your dad already came in and took care of it."
For some reason that bothered Jake. Why should his dad get to help when he couldn't. "Does Lindsey know that?"
"Probably not." TJ winked. "My little brother shared some gossip he got from Jessica."
"I bet. She just can't keep her trap shut." Jake strolled half way to the door. "What did you hear?"
"Just that you've got your eye on our pretty guest."
"Is that all?"
"And maybe that she said to butt out."
Jake kicked the trash can, taking great pleasure in the clang as it tipped and rolled, spilling debris all over the floor.
"You gonna pick that up?" TJ didn't sound angry, in fact, it looked like he was struggling not to laugh.
"Why does everyone think this is so funny?"
"Because it's about time you noticed a pretty face. Lousy timing maybe, but about time."
"I've noticed a lot of pretty faces. I just didn't do anything about it."
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