"Well, why now?"
"You'll laugh."
"Try me."
Jake sagged against the wall, just beside the door. It would probably be best to hightail it out, but maybe his best friend would have some words of wisdom.
"It's like she's the answer to the prayers I never put into words."
TJ walked over and clapped Jake on the shoulder. "Just take your time and maybe it'll work out."
"But I don't have time. She'll leave as soon as the car is fixed."
"I can give you until Christmas, but that's as far as I can push it. Now get over there and start showing her what a catch you are."
Jake slipped out the door muttering. "That's the problem. She could do so much better."
He had worked himself into another dark mood by the time he reached his parent's hotel. Lindsey was way out of his league and she'd be better off without him. He slammed the door behind him. Katie jumped up from playing with his old blocks in the living room, ran over, and lifted her arms.
"Dadda." She bounced up and down.
Jake's heart flipped. The foul mood evaporated leaving an ache in it's place. "Hey, peanut." He lifted her up so she could pat both sides of his face in that funny little way she had.
"I'm sorry she keeps calling you that." Lindsey spoke from the armchair where she sat reading a book.
"I don't mind." The sight of them both confirmed how much he liked the idea of coming home to Lindsey and Katie every day, but how could he convince her to take a chance on him? She'd only just met him and had no intention of staying.
Jessica poked her head up from behind the couch. "Does Jake look like your ex?"
Jake groaned. He definitely didn't want to go there.
The question took Lindsey by surprise. She'd been embarrassed every time Katie called Jake dad, but she hadn't stopped to consider why she was doing it. Lindsey got up from her reading spot and walked over to the others.
"No." Lindsey had the strange sensation that how she worded things would be very important. She tried to shrug it off, but the moment felt bigger than her. "They're about the same height, but that's it. Where Steven had cold blue eyes, Jake's are warm brown reflecting his kindness."
She paused, but kept studying Jake as if seeing him for the first time. “Steven had that gym perfected body for impressing people, but Jake looks stronger somehow—real.”
He really was a good looking man. Her gaze returned to his eyes. They were different from Steven in more ways than just the color. There was a gentleness about him that Steven had never had. What if he really did care about other people?
Right now he clung to her daughter and looked deep into her eyes. He stirred feelings she'd never felt before. Is that why she'd been so upset last night? So scared to accept his kindness?
Jessica watched them, a smirk trying to break free. "Well, then why does Katie keep calling him dad?"
"I don't know." Lindsey's answer was almost a whisper, but a new idea had wormed it's way into her thoughts. Just yesterday she'd decided Katie needed someone like Jake in her life. What if? She shook her head. She could not go there.
Jake hadn't said anything to this point. He had a funny look on his face. It was something between embarrassment and maybe longing.
He cleared his throat. "Would you and Katie like to do something today?"
Jessica laughed. "Maybe you're not too hopeless."
Lindsey was surprised to see Jake blush. She almost reached out with the need to touch that vulnerability.
Jake had never been so confused. Last night he'd decided to stay away from Lindsey, but the way she was looking at him right now had him changing his mind. It didn't hurt that she'd built him up with her description of him. He'd always thought of his eyes as muddy brown, not warm like she'd said. And she thought he looked strong?
Did all women give mixed signals like this?
Uncomfortable with how much he wanted the woman in front of him to like him, Jake changed the subject. "Does Katie like sledding?"
"I've never taken her."
Jessica jumped into the conversation. "We should all go. Lindsey and Katie can ride with you. Colton and the others will be here to pick me up soon. They'd love a day on the farm. We'll meet you there." She nudged him toward the door.
"Sledding sounds fun." Lindsey gave him a shy smile and reached for Katie's coat.
"Okay, then." He didn't really have hills on his farm, but he had a snowmobile and fifty foot rope for pulling. They loaded Katie into her car seat and headed to his land.
"Thanks for inviting us. Your mom won't let me help do anything around the hotel and I'm getting a bit stir crazy." Lindsey adjusted the knit cap on her head. "I'm not used to down time."
"Why not?" Jake noticed she didn't have gloves again. He'd have to fix that before they hit the snow.
"Dad made sure I worked with the cows. Then when he died I got a job in town. That's how I met Steven." She pulled the cap off and twisted it in her hands. "I actually thought I'd get to quit when I married him. Stupid, I know."
Jake decided not to respond to that. Instead he kept asking questions. "Why'd you want to quit, and why didn't you?"
"I wanted a family right away. Steven thought it would be better if we waited, and I worked so he didn't have to rack up too much debt finishing school. It sounded good at the time."
"It makes sense, but I take it things didn't work out the way you hoped?" He glanced in the mirror and saw Katie happily looking out the window.
"Life never does." She got quiet and stared straight ahead.
"What did you hope life would be like?"
She blushed and shoved the cap back on. "I don't know. My dad wasn't overly affectionate, but I knew he loved my mom. You could see it in the way they looked at each other. That's what I wanted. Love, a home, children." Lindsey twisted around and tickled Katie's leg. The little giggle filled the cab and Lindsey continued, "At least I've got my Katie-bug."
"She's something else. I'm glad you've got her too." Jake broke out in a sweat. His heart raced with how much he wanted to tell her she deserved to have everything she desired. And he wanted to give it to her.
Too soon, dummy. You've only known her two days.
He clenched the steering wheel tighter. The time didn't change how he felt around her. She really was the answer to his unasked prayers. He felt hopeful around her, even when confused, but most importantly, he felt complete.
Lindsey didn't say anything, but he saw her nod in his peripheral vision. He ventured a glance in her direction. Her brow was creased again, and she half frowned, but he could tell she was lost in thought.
A couple minutes passed in easy quiet before he pulled into his drive. They drove past his fallow fields, sparkling with the untouched snow.
"Is all of this yours?" Lindsey sat straighter as she looked around.
"Yeah. It was my dad's and grandad's before me, but I paid off the last of my buyout last year." He pointed up ahead where several trees surrounded the farm house. "Those trees have been there for over a hundred years."
"That's so cool. I like things that have history."
"Do you want to see the house while we wait for Jessica? I bet I can find an extra pair of gloves for you as well."
Lindsey sat on her hands. "You notice everything don't you?"
Jake spoke before he could think. "I notice you."
She touched his arm, then pulled away.
He let the moment pass, knowing they both needed more time. Instead, he got out and hurried to open her door. Only then did he go for Katie. She was ready to be out of her car seat. As soon as he had her out, she tried to get down, so he set her in the deep snow.
"That ought to slow you down." He laughed. "Come on, let's get you those gloves."
Chapter 7
Lindsey felt warm all over. Something had changed between her and Jake. After the uncomfortable night feeling guilty for how she'd been angry with him for no reason, she'd meant to apologize. She hadn't d
one that, but things felt right again.
He'd said several sweet things on the ride over, and then he'd given her a tour of his home. It was an adorable three bedroom farm house. Everything was old, but it was clean and well taken care of. Steven would complain that the kitchen and bathrooms needed updating, but Lindsey found she preferred them the way they were. Welcoming and warm.
"Here, I knew I had another pair of gloves around." Jake passed her a pair of men's ski gloves. "Hopefully, they won't be too big."
"Thank you."
"Momma?" Katie tugged on her pants. "Snow?"
"Yes sweetie, we're going to play in the snow." Lindsey bent down to pick her daughter up.
Before she could ask Jake about Jessica, the teen came through the front door with four other kids her age. "Let's get this party started."
"Okay, everyone out to the barn. I'll get the snowmobile and the sleds ready." Jake shooed them toward the door while Lindsey put Katie's coat back on.
"Mr. Wilson, I brought my snowmobile too." One of the boys hooked a thumb toward another truck parked out front.
"The other one is mine." A second boy grinned. "Early Christmas present."
"That's great, but please don't call me Mr. Wilson. Makes me feel old. It's just Jake."
Both boys nodded and headed for the truck to unload.
Lindsey smiled as she watched Jake help them. He really was good with kids of all ages. She noticed he treated all of them the same, even Katie. He genuinely was interested in what they thought and wanted.
You've never met a better man. The thought startled her because it didn't feel like her own. She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to just feel.
God, are you trying to tell me something?
No more words came to her mind, but she felt that same peace she'd felt the day before. For now, that would have to be enough.
"Ready, Lindsey?" Jake's voice grabbed her attention.
Katie had already wobbled her way across the snow to him. She looked like such a tiny marshmallow next to the big man. Lindsey felt her heart swell. Yes, Katie needed someone very much like Jake in her life.
So do you.
Lindsey gasped in surprise, glancing around.
"Something wrong?" Jake was immediately by her side, his hand on her elbow.
"No, nothing's wrong." She tried to smile, but the last thought had definitely not been hers. However, the truth of it pierced her heart.
"Are you sure?" Jake asked again.
This time Lindsey's smile reached her eyes. "Yes, just got caught off guard by something, that's all."
"Okay. Come on. I'll pull you and Katie. I don't quite trust the daredevils to do it." Jake carried Katie and took Lindsey's hand. He hadn't planned it, but it felt right. She glanced up at him, but didn't pull away. They reached the barn way too soon. "Wait here, I'll get the sleds."
He hated to let her go, but walked into the barn and gassed up the snowmobile. The sound of the other vehicles reached him through the walls, along with the teens' laugher. Jessica joined him inside.
"So, you'll have to let me give you and Lindsey a ride at some point today." She talked while she pulled the sleds from their storage spot.
"Maybe." Jake liked the idea, but he wouldn't let Jess know how much.
"Okay then."
Jake could see his sister smile even though she wasn't looking at him. It made him smile too. As far as little sisters went, Jess was pretty awesome.
He pulled Katie and Lindsey on one of the sleds at safe speeds for the two year-old while the teens raced all over the place. After almost an hour, he stopped by the house.
"Are you guys frozen?" he asked.
"A little." Lindsey laughed. "Mostly, I think this one needs a nap."
"No nap." Katie said, then yawned.
Jake realized he'd never seen anything so beautiful in his life as Lindsey holding her daughter. "Well, let's see what we can do about both of those things. Come on in. I'll start the fireplace and make some hot chocolate. I'm sure the others will want some soon."
Once inside, Lindsey removed Katie's wet coat, gloves and boots and hung them by his front door. Then she added hers to the hooks that had been empty for the last three years. "What can I do to help?"
Jake stared at the coats filling the space, thrilling at their very existence.
"Jake?"
He turned to see Lindsey watching him. "Sorry, do you want to put Katie in the guest room while I get that fire going?"
"Sounds good."
Jake led her to the room and turned to leave. He heard her start humming before he closed the door. One look had melted his heart even more. Lindsey lay propped up on one elbow beside Katie. She stroked the little girl's head and back while she hummed a lullaby.
Lindsey had glanced up and met his gaze. He knew in that moment she was worth taking a chance. She would leave, or she wouldn't. It didn't matter. He needed to let her know how she made him want more than he ever had before.
Once the wood was crackling, he headed to the kitchen. The pot of water was heating on the stove, and he'd set out enough mugs for all the kids along with a bag of mini marshmallows by the time Lindsey joined him.
"Looks like you've got it all taken care of." She spoke softly.
Jake watched her study the kitchen again. What did she think of it? What did she really think of him?
"Jake—“
"Lindsey—“
They both laughed.
"Ladies first."
"I just wanted to say how much I've enjoyed today. Thank you." She stood only a foot or two away.
Jake gave in to the need to step closer, hoping she wouldn't run again. "I'm glad. You deserve to be happy."
She nodded, but didn't look convinced. He stepped even closer, reaching for her hands. This was it. His chance to tell her how he felt. If only he knew what to say.
"Lindsey,"
"Hey Jake, you have any warm drinks in there?" Jessica's voice reached them a split second before she entered the kitchen. She started at them standing so close. "Oh, and you never let me give you that ride."
Lindsey tried to catch her breath. Jake still held her hands, but he'd moved back a bit. For a moment she'd thought he might kiss her. She knew Jessica was probably staring, but she couldn't look away from Jake's eyes. What had he been about to say?
"Jess, I might just take you up on that ride offer." Jake didn't take his eyes off of her, even though he spoke to his sister. "That is if Lindsey will join me."
"On a sled?" She warmed further at the thought of him holding her tight.
He nodded his head.
"Okay."
"Yippee! Jake never lets me pull him." Jessica jumped and headed for the door.
"Hey, wait a minute." Jake dropped Lindsey's hands and followed his sister. "We need one of your friends to sit in here in case Katie wakes up."
Lindsey marveled once again at how he always thought of others first.
"Oh, sure. I bet I could get Colton to finish the cocoa and stay in here." She waved absently in the air.
Jake turned to Lindsey. "She can get Colton to do almost anything."
"Shut up and come on. I'll get him while you bundle back up."
By the time they had their coats, hats and gloves on, Colton was bounding up the front porch. Lindsey hoped Katie would stay asleep, because she was really looking forward to this ride.
"Do you want the front?" Jake asked.
"Sure." Lindsey knew she was trembling, but hoped he thought it was from the cold.
She sat on the sled and Jake followed. His long legs stretched out around her hips and thighs as he scooted closer. Her heart raced as he wrapped one arm around her and spoke into her ear.
"Hold on tight, Jess is a wild woman on a snowmobile."
His words seemed disconnected with the way his voice made her feel. Before she could figure it out, the sled jumped forward. Lindsey held on to Jake's legs for dear life. This was nothing like riding with Katie.
Lindsey screamed and laughed and screamed some more.
"Hold on." Jake embraced her tighter as they raced toward a fence.
"Are we going to stop?" Lindsey yelled, but wasn't sure if he could hear her.
She saw Jessica turn. Lindsey watched the rope towing them go slack for half a second before being pulled taunt again. The sled lurched and whipped around.
The momentum had her flying. The snow was harder and colder than she'd expected. Something knocked her shoulder and then she rolled to a stop.
Jake crawled over from where he landed and brushed snow from her face and hair. "Are you okay?"
Lindsey smiled up at him. "More than okay."
"I'm so sorry!" Jessica came trudging over. "Are you hurt?"
"We're fine, but you're sitting on the sled while we drive the snowmobile back." Jake growled at her. When she hung her head, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Jess, but you could have hurt Lindsey. She's not used to your craziness."
"I forgot, okay?" Jessica moved in to hug Lindsey. "I really am sorry."
"No big deal. We're fine." She glanced at Jake. "But that cocoa sounds good about now."
And the ride back holding onto Jake sounded even better. She felt colder now that he wasn't holding her.
"Hop on the sled, Jess." Jake climbed on the vehicle. "Lindsey, you can ride with me."
Lindsey blushed and snuggled up to the back of Jake on the snowmobile. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled herself closer. The ride didn't last nearly long enough. Jake took her in to sit by the fire while he helped the kids put the sleds away and load the boys' snowmobiles back in the truck. Katie was still sleeping when he came back in and sat beside her on the couch.
"Are you sure you're okay?" his fingers trailed down her cheek.
Lindsey shivered, but leaned into his touch. "I had a wonderful time today. It was nearly perfect."
"What would have made it perfect?"
Lindsey felt her face heat up. "Um, I don't know, I didn't mean..."
A Merrily Matched Christmas Page 10