“So he agreed to meet with us. Good.”
“I suppose.”
“He’s not my buddy, you know,” she added, backpedaling somewhat as she pushed herself into a sitting position and shifted closer to him. “Wyatt, I mean.”
“He’d like to be. That and more,” Alex replied, feigning nonchalance.
“Well, too bad. The feeling’s not mutual.”
“Maybe once you get to know him, you’ll change your mind.”
Alex had no idea why he was pursuing this particular line of dialogue. Taunting himself with the possibility of Kari and Wyatt together made about as much sense as poking at a sore tooth with his tongue. Unfortunately, now that he’d started he couldn’t seem to stop himself.
“I doubt it.”
“You might be surprised.” Using the remote control, he clicked off the television and stood. Enough was enough. He was only twisting himself into knots. Hoping she’d take the hint, he asked, “Do you have everything you need back in the bedroom?”
She stood, too, closing the distance between them.
“Almost,” she murmured.
Gazing up at him, a wistful look in her pale-gray eyes, she reached out to trace the line of his jaw with her fingertips.
Lightning streaked and sizzled, casting an eerie glow upon the dimly lit living room. A clap of thunder rocked the house on its foundation. And then, without a flicker of warning, the lights went out, throwing them into darkness.
With a muffled cry, Kari launched herself at him. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close, savoring the warmth of her body as she pressed against him.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he soothed, bending over her protectively, his lips feathering the curve of her neck. “Just a little thunder.”
As if answering a call, another rumble set the windows shaking.
“You’re not scared, are you?”
“Just startled,” she answered, a hint of rueful laughter in her voice. But she continued to hold on to him as a shiver stole through her.
“I’ve got some candles in the kitchen.” Reluctantly, he started to ease away from her. “You stay here and I’ll—”
“No.” Her voice husky, she clung to him tighter and tipped her chin up.
“No?”
As lightning flickered again, he looked down at her and felt his body stir. Time suddenly seemed to stand still. All he could think of was how much he wanted her. Here and now. Now and forever.
Ignoring the little voice inside his head that warned him to cease and desist, he bent his head and kissed her, first with the tenderness of enduring love, then with the heat of passion too long denied. She opened her mouth for him, welcoming the thrust of his tongue, rising on her toes so that she fit more snugly against him and threading her fingers through his hair possessively.
The ardor of her response gratified him in such an intensely primal way he wanted to shout. She must not hate him after all. Otherwise how could she kiss him with such obvious abandon?
Still, he had to stop. And he would. But not yet. Not until he had finished—
As if he’d been yanked back on a leash, Alex jerked his head up. His hands on her shoulders, he set her away from him, holding her at arm’s length. With a barely audible whimper, she knotted her fingers in the fabric of his shirt and stared at him with seeming confusion.
“Alex?”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“But I wanted—”
“No,” he cut her off rudely.
“But—” she began again.
His eyes now accustomed to the dark, Alex turned her resisting body toward the hallway as gently as he could.
“It’s late. We have a long drive ahead of us in the morning.” He marched her to the bedroom doorway, ignoring her sputtered protests.
“Just tell me why,” she demanded, whirling to face him the moment he released her.
He could barely see her. Standing just inside the bedroom, she was no more than a shadow among shadows. But he sensed her mounting fury. And with regret, he chose to use it to his advantage.
“Why what?” he asked levelly, acting as if he neither knew nor cared what she was talking about.
“Why did you kiss me like that, then push me away?”
“I said I was sorry.”
“Sorry isn’t good enough, Alex,” she shot back. “You owe me an explanation.”
“Well, I don’t have one to give.” Wearily, he turned and walked away from her.
“You bastard.”
“Go to bed, Kari.”
“And you go to hell.” As punctuation, she slammed the bedroom door on his retreating back.
Moving through the darkness that so aptly matched his mood, Alex made his way back to the living room and slumped on the sofa. He ought to be proud of himself. He’d not only put her off; he’d done so in a manner guaranteed to destroy whatever fond feelings she had seemed to have left for him. But all he could feel was pain. The same grinding, aching, empty pain he’d experienced only once before in his life. And this time there would be no second chance for him. He had just used that up.
Never again would she look upon him with warmth or tenderness. Never again would she welcome his kisses or caresses. And that was as it should be. As it had to be for her own good.
More than likely, she would choose to stay with Wyatt tomorrow. That was just as well, too. He would look after her in his own way.
Of course, he himself would still look after her, as well. Even if she insisted that he keep his distance. He owed her that much, and he always paid whatever debts he could. No matter what it cost him.
Chapter 8
“I have to admit I was beginning to wonder if we were wasting our time with Fairchild,” Kevin said. “He seemed awfully uncertain when we presented our plan over lunch. I was sure he was going to turn us down. But instead he suggested we meet with him again at his office, and luckily for us, he was much more amenable by then.”
“He just needed a chance to think about it and come to a decision on his own,” Kari replied. “As I told you, he’s a savvy businessman. I’m sure he wanted to consider all his options before making a commitment.”
Sitting in the passenger seat of the FBI agent’s sedan, she gazed out the window at the falling rain as he maneuvered the vehicle through the early-evening traffic filling the downtown streets of San Antonio.
“Well, you certainly helped to convince him,” Kevin stated, his admiration evident. “The man obviously thinks a lot of you.”
“I suppose.”
Still much too devastated by her confrontation with Alex, she couldn’t take pleasure in Kevin’s praise. And she was much too weary to pretend otherwise.
She had barely slept at all last night, tossing and turning in the bed one minute, then pacing the confines of the room the next as she tried, unsuccessfully, to sort out her thoughts and feelings.
For the life of her, she still couldn’t say why she’d thrown herself at Alex. She really should have known better. Yet various events during the day had seemed to lead inevitably to that moment when she’d stopped thinking sensibly and started acting on instinct.
First Alex had told her she was the most desirable woman he’d ever known. Then Kevin Wyatt had come to call, and Alex had hovered over her protectively, refusing to allow the FBI agent to take advantage of her. And most important, at least to her way of thinking, he hadn’t sent her away when he’d had the opportunity.
She had waited, sure that Alex would tell her to go back to San Antonio with Kevin. When he didn’t, when he seemed inclined to let her decide whether or not to stay, she had stupidly taken it as a sign that he’d wanted her with him after all.
Having that erotic dream while sleeping on the sofa hadn’t helped much, either. Nor had waking to find Alex there with her, looking so sad and so alone. She’d wanted the impossible. And for several long, sweet, sensuous moments, she’d thought that maybe, just maybe, this time—
“You seem unhappy,” Kevin said.
His deep voice cut across her thoughts. “Oh, no, not at all,” she hastened to assure him.
“I thought maybe Payton had done something to upset you.”
“Alex can be rather disagreeable when he chooses. But he’s an old friend. I’m used to his moodiness.”
“1 have a feeling he thinks of himself as more than that. Unless I’m mistaken, he’s also in love with you.”
At the FBI agent’s simple statement, Kari glanced away. Her face warming under the heat of a blush, she shook her head, refusing to consider the possibility that Kevin Wyatt knew what he was talking about.
“He’s not,” she denied. “He’s just a friend.”
“I’m just a friend. Or I hope I am. He’s in love with you. And, much as it pains me to admit it, I believe you’re in love with him, too.”
“No.” Again she shook her head.
“I realize I haven’t spent much time with you and Alex, but I consider myself fairly perceptive. I think I can recognize when two people care deeply for each other. I’ve even had some experience at it myself.” He hesitated a moment, then continued somberly. “Amanda Holcomb and I were going to announce our engagement just before her accident. After that, she wanted to wait.
“I was just starting out at the Bureau, working twelve-and fourteen-hour days. I told myself she just needed time to heal, because that was the easiest thing for me to do. I didn’t push her, even though I sensed something was seriously wrong. If I had, she might still be alive today.”
“Oh, Kevin, I’m so sorry,” Kari murmured, regarding him with heartfelt compassion.
She didn’t know him well, but what she knew of him, she liked a lot. And she did indeed consider him a friend.
“It’s over and done now. Too late to go back and do things differently. But it’s not too late for you and Alex. No matter what’s keeping you apart, you can work it out.”
Kari knew that revealing the true nature of his relationship with Amanda Holcomb hadn’t been easy for Kevin. But he’d done it to save her from suffering the same grief he had. Unfortunately, she was afraid that the chasm between her and Alex had already widened impossibly.
More than anything, she wanted to believe they still might have a future together. But how many times could she try to breach the hard, cold wall Alex hid behind whenever they got too close? How many times could she let him knock her to her knees emotionally before she crawled away in defeat?
Unless she found out why Alex refused to give in to his feelings for her, feelings she wanted to believe he’d always had, she didn’t have a chance of getting past the guard he’d erected around his heart. And after last night, when he’d calmly turned away from her, claiming he didn’t have an explanation to give, she had little hope that she ever would.
He had been polite, yet distant, when she’d joined him in the kitchen early that morning, treating her with uncommon reserve. As if they were two strangers sharing space by accident—an unfortunate accident, at that.
Unwilling to reveal just how much he’d hurt her the night before, she’d given as good as she got. She’d helped herself to juice and coffee, as well as a cinnamon roll she didn’t want but ate with all the relish she could muster, just to show him that she, too, considered the kiss they’d shared no more than a momentary aberration.
The drive to San Antonio in the steady rain had been interminable. Alex had focused on the road with total concentration, while Kari had gladly sat in silence. Staring out the side window, she’d told herself it was best not to distract him with the angry questions whirling inside her head.
At the hotel, he’d turned her car over to one of the valet parking attendants, wordlessly tucking the ticket into the back pocket of his jeans as he led the way to the lobby.
She’d wondered what he was planning to do while she and Kevin met with Raymond Fairchild, but she wasn’t about to show her interest by asking. Better to let him think she couldn’t care less how he spent his time.
Kevin had been waiting for them as promised. The two men exchanged wary looks, grudging handshakes and a few muttered words that could only barely be considered cordial. Then Kevin had taken her by the arm as if she were a lost child. With no more than a brief nod in her direction, Alex had stood aside so Kevin could lead her away.
Though deeply hurt by the callous way he’d let her go, Kari had straightened her shoulders, determinedly matching her pace to Kevin’s. But halfway out the door, she hadn’t been able to stop herself from glancing over her shoulder.
She’d fully expected Alex to have disappeared. Only he hadn’t. He stood right where they’d left him, looking dangerous in his black T-shirt, jeans and boots, hands shoved in his pockets, his shaggy curls mussed, his eyes narrowed. Dangerous, yet oddly forlorn.
In that instant, she’d wanted to run back to him, put her arms around him and promise him that everything would be all right. But then they were out in the parking garage, the door closing behind them.
It was too late, she’d thought then as she thought now. Too late for them. No matter what Kevin Wyatt said.
“I don’t think—” she began.
“Sometimes not thinking can be a really good idea,” Kevin interrupted. “Sometimes it’s better to act on impulse, instead. Especially when you’re already convinced you don’t have a lot to lose.”
“Maybe,” she murmured without much conviction.
“Trust me.” He reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, then deftly changed the subject as he pulled under the canopy outside the front door of the hotel. “Now, about tomorrow...”
“You’re meeting with Brandon at the stable, posing as a parent needing a place to board your eight-year-old daughter’s horse. You’re also interested in having her take lessons. You want to have a look at the facility, a good look.” As she glanced at Kevin, he nodded approvingly. “You’ve got the profile of a horse-crazy, eight-year-old girl and the list of questions I wrote up for you?”
“Right here.” He patted one of his pockets. “I’ll have the information memorized by morning.”
They had agreed that the safest way for Kevin to get the lay of the land at Selby Stables was to do so as an owner in need of a place to board a horse.
“Don’t worry about looking dumb. Most doting daddies aren’t all that familiar with the equestrian world unless they ride, too. But they do insist on seeing exactly what they’re getting for their money. By the time you leave, you should have a good idea of how the house, the main barn, the riding arenas and the other outlying buildings are set up. If you want a better look at one area or another, tell Brandon and he’ll oblige you. As long as you come across as a big spender where your little darling is concerned, he’ll take you just about anywhere you want to go—several times, if necessary.”
“What about you? Are you still agreeable to going back on Saturday?” Kevin asked.
“Yes. I’ll call Brandon tomorrow afternoon, tell him to expect me sometime Saturday evening, then show up at the stable as if I’d just flown in from Virginia.”
“Unless you say otherwise, I’ll put Fairchild in motion next Wednesday or Thursday,” Kevin said. “What about Alex? Any idea when he plans to make an appearance?”
“No idea at all,” she admitted. “I’m not even certain he’s still in San Antonio. Not that it matters to me.”
“He’s here,” Kevin said, directing a knowing look her way. “And it does matter to you.”
“You sound awfully sure.”
“If I weren’t, I wouldn’t let you go in there alone. I’d offer to buy you a drink, then find a way to lure you back to my place for dinner.”
Surprised by his honesty, and flattered in spite of herself, Kari could only stare at him in silence. He met her gaze for a moment longer, then let himself out of the car and walked around to open her door.
“I’ll call you tomorrow night and let you know how the interview with Selby went. You’ll be at
Payton’s place, won’t you?”
“I’m not really sure.”
After the way she’d behaved last night, he probably didn’t want her there anymore. But she didn’t want Kevin to know that. He was a very nice man, and she really did like him. However, she didn’t want him to feel obligated to look after her if Alex had abandoned her. She’d much rather nurse her wounded heart alone.
“You’re not sure you’ll be staying there?” Kevin asked, regarding her with concern.
“We might stay here, depending on what Alex has to do,” she improvised.
“Well, you’ve got my card. If you’re still in San Antonio tomorrow night, call me at home.”
“I will.”
“Take care, then.” He took her hand, drew her close for a moment and kissed her cheek, then let her go again.
“You, too, Kevin.”
Shivering as a gust of wind spattered her with raindrops, Kari turned and hurried toward the door, then shivered again as a blast of cold air greeted her entry into the hotel lobby. At that early-evening hour, most of the guests had already checked in, but the dinnertime hustle and bustle hadn’t yet begun.
Rubbing her hands over her arms in a futile effort to warm herself, Kari eyed the various groupings of chairs and sofas scattered around the lobby, but saw no sign of Alex.
Off to her right, an arched doorway led into a dimly lit bar. Beyond that, if she remembered correctly, there was an elegantly appointed restaurant. And to her left, down a short hallway, she saw a sign advertising the Terrace Grill Coffee Shop.
Somehow she couldn’t imagine Alex sitting in the bar. Nor, for that matter, could she see him passing any amount of time in the hotel dining room or the coffee shop. But he had to be around there somewhere. He had to be.
To satisfy herself, she glanced into the bar. Except for the bartender, who was watching the local news on a television mounted on the wall, the place was empty. The dining room was empty, as well. And although several people were seated in the coffee shop, none of them happened to be Alex.
Suddenly anxious and uncertain, Kari crossed to the reception desk and asked the lone clerk if there were any messages for her. The woman checked her computer, then answered in the negative, her tone apologetic. An instant later, her gaze shifted beyond Kari, her eyes widening with feminine interest and her smile warming considerably.
The Lady And Alex Payton Page 14