United by Their Royal Baby

by Therese Beharrie

  ‘This is not the way you want it to happen for the first time.’

  He stood, unable to be so close to her now. It only succeeded in testing his control. He was desperately trying not to take her up on her offer.

  ‘That’s irrelevant, Xavier—’

  ‘No, Leyna, it’s not,’ he said sharply. ‘I know you well enough to believe that you know that, too.’

  He got up and strode out of the room before she could reply.

  Chapter Eight

  IF THERE WAS anything more embarrassing than offering herself to a man—only to be rejected—Leyna wasn’t sure she’d experienced it. It made things only marginally worse that that man was going to become her husband and the father to her child.

  Was it any wonder the air was so tense between her and Xavier as they made their way to the Aidaraen Tropical Fruit Festival?

  They were silent as the car travelled the short distance from Aidara’s castle to the orchard where the festival was being held. Leyna knew the tension was compounded by the fact that they would be announcing their engagement just after announcing the winner.

  And they had no idea how their people would respond.

  ‘Do you think they’ll believe I’m only here to judge the contest with you?’ Xavier asked, breaking the silence.

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ she said demurely. ‘Because you’re not only here to judge the contest with me, and they’ll find that out soon enough.’

  She heard his impatient sigh but ignored it, and turned her head to look out of the window. There were people lining their path to the orchard, waving the Aidaraen flag and smiling brightly at them.

  Another reminder of why she was putting herself through this, she thought, and turned back to Xavier.

  ‘But it is believable,’ she said, offering him a soft smile for the sake of the pictures. ‘We have guest judges every year. You’ve been one of them.’

  ‘But not since I married Erika.’

  She fixed a smile on her face. ‘They’ll believe it if we make it convincing. So, try to pretend you can stand the sight of me today.’

  ‘Leyna, you know that’s—’ He cut off and sighed again. ‘If we’re going for pretence, you should probably wear this.’

  Her eyes fluttered down to find a ring in the palm of his hand. An emerald-cut diamond in a band of rose gold sparkled up at her and she quickly rested her hand over it, her heart thumping in her chest.

  ‘Don’t just hand that to me like it’s a mint,’ she hissed. ‘People are taking pictures. If one of them saw it, the festival will be overshadowed by the news.’

  ‘I think the festival will be overshadowed regardless, Leyna,’ he said dryly, but slipped the ring back into his jacket pocket.

  ‘Where did you get it anyway?’

  ‘I had it made.’

  ‘For our fake engagement?’

  ‘Yes,’ he answered, but something flashed in his eyes that made her doubt the truth of his words.

  She didn’t want to dwell on it. Not when she was still a little raw from what had happened at the insemination a few days ago. She’d already spent too much time thinking about that day. About how she’d let her panic overcome her. About how she’d started crying when it had been the last thing she’d wanted to do. And about how she’d woken up from a dream where Xavier had told her their plan had been a mistake and he’d walked out of her life for ever, her heart hammering in fear.

  She’d tried not to think about the fact that he’d witnessed that. Or about their conversation after she’d woken up. Or that sweet, passionate kiss that had her melting and wanting at the same time. That had her offering something she hadn’t wanted for ten years.

  No, she couldn’t think about why Xavier was lying to her about that ring. There was too much else to focus on. Or, she thought more accurately, to avoid focusing on.

  ‘This is beautiful,’ Xavier said when the car slowed as it reached the road leading to the orchard. She followed his gaze and took in the bright, colourful trees that stood tall and impressive, even though they were still some distance away.

  The Royal Aidaraen orchard was the most prominent in the kingdom—where most of their exports came from—and being able to plant on its land was an immense honour for any citizen of Aidara.

  There were several contests throughout spring and summer leading up to this one, which ranged from the smallest orchard to the Royal Aidaraen orchard. Winners were allowed to plant on a more prominent piece of land the following year. It took years to reach the Best Fruit of the Kingdom contest in the Fruit Festival, and the winner’s fruit was automatically included in Aidara’s exports for that year.

  The event was prestigious, by invitation only, and that meant every prominent member of society would be there. And that they would witness everything she and Xavier did that day.

  ‘It is beautiful,’ she answered Xavier. ‘And you will say the same to every contestant we speak to today. It is an honour for them to have made it this far, and they will be honoured should they win.’

  ‘You say that as though I’ve never been to the festival—or been a judge—before.’

  ‘As you so kindly reminded me, that was such a long time ago.’ She paused and then added, ‘I wasn’t sure you’d remember.’

  ‘Of course I remember. I remember all of the festivals I attended. Especially the night of one almost seventeen years ago when we ran away to—’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ she interrupted him, feeling her cheeks flush. ‘I remember that, too.’

  ‘I don’t think you do,’ he said. There was no indication on his face that he was teasing her, but the tone of his voice—the unexpected warmth in it—told her he was. ‘You told me there was something urgent you needed to tell me. I didn’t think you would be so devious as to lie to me, so I followed you down to the beach. And then you told me you’d seen a movie—I don’t recall what that movie was—but the girl had been thirteen years old when she’d had her first kiss and since you were thirteen, you thought it was time you had yours, too.’

  ‘Please stop,’ Leyna almost groaned. If they weren’t visible to the people in her kingdom she would have covered her face with her hands so he wouldn’t be able to see how much he was embarrassing her.

  ‘You pulled me under the palm tree because no one would see us there, and closed your eyes, puckered your lips and waited for me to kiss you.’

  Going with it now, she let out a croak of laughter. ‘But you didn’t know what I expected from you, so you poked me in my stomach and had me opening my eyes again.’

  ‘And I told you that I wasn’t going to kiss you because kissing was disgusting.’ He smiled now. ‘I was lying, by the way. I was too old to think that, but too young to acknowledge that I wanted to kiss you.’

  ‘I didn’t know that,’ she said, smiling back at him.

  ‘It didn’t matter. You gave the biggest sigh I had ever heard in my life and told me that one day I would be grateful you’d been the first girl I’d kiss because no one would know how gross it was.’

  ‘You’re welcome,’ she said cheekily, and got a grin in return. ‘And then I told you to stop talking, to close your eyes, and I kissed you.’

  ‘It was a peck, really, so I’m not sure whether we could call it a kiss.’

  ‘It was a kiss,’ she answered. ‘And you liked it, or you wouldn’t have convinced me to try it again.’

  ‘And then again a year later, but this time with tongues.’

  ‘That one was gross.’

  He chuckled. ‘Only because neither of us knew what we were doing. The one after that was fine.’

  ‘I suppose it was.’ She was silent, lost in the happiness of the past for a moment. ‘How did it end up being so good six years after that?’

  ‘Because we were adults then and had realised there was a little more to kissing than just ex
perimentation.’

  She bit her lip. Happiness had quickly turned into regret.

  ‘Being an adult is overrated,’ she said, and felt her face heat when she turned back to him and saw he was watching her.

  ‘I’m not sure that’s true.’

  ‘Because you’re no longer thinking logically,’ she said automatically, and nearly gave in to the urge to lean over and show him she wasn’t thinking rationally either. It was a great relief when her bodyguard opened the door and the slight breeze floated into the car, bringing her back to reality.

  They made their way down the short path to where a beautiful bronze arch covered with vines indicated the official entrance to the orchard. There was no time to talk about anything then. They spent hours greeting contestants and their families, tasting fruits and posing for photos.

  Leyna had been tense at first, fully expecting questions about the state of the alliance to be thrown at her and Xavier. But there was none of that. Instead, the atmosphere was festive and easy.

  Leyna felt herself relaxing slowly, though she stiffened whenever Xavier would whisper something in her ear or touch the small of her back. It was for show, she reminded herself. And it was working, too, she thought, as she saw sparks of interest on the faces of those they spoke to.

  There was no surprise in those expressions of interest, just a simple acceptance. Some gave her a knowing look, as though they’d expected it. Some nodded to her in approval. It should have alarmed her.

  It didn’t.

  In fact, she was quite comfortable with the looks and smiled in return. As if there was a part of her that mirrored those feelings. She’d only remember that it wasn’t reality when she looked at Xavier and saw the carefulness in his eyes.

  There hadn’t been any of that the day of the insemination. When they’d opened up to each other like they had once before. The hours she’d spent trying not to think about it had, of course, led her to do just that. And every time she came to the same conclusion about why he hadn’t wanted to spend the night with her.

  He was still in love with his wife.

  Though the realisation hurt as much as it had when she’d first read the headline about Xavier and Erika ten years ago, it gave her a reason to keep her distance, too. Especially when he touched her, like he did now, taking her hand to lead her to the privacy of the vineyard at the edge of the orchard so they could decide on the winners, and her stomach flip-flopped.

  ‘How are we possibly supposed to decide?’ he asked, dropping her hand as soon as they got there. The lack of contact made her feel a little cold.

  ‘We pretend to be discussing this very carefully, seriously, and we choose someone who needs to win.’

  ‘We don’t choose honestly?’

  ‘They were all delicious, weren’t they?’ she asked, and continued when he nodded. ‘Was there one that stood out for you?’

  ‘I’m... Actually, I’m not sure.’

  ‘Exactly, so there were no stand-outs regarding taste, which happens occasionally. When it does, we choose the person who this would mean the most to.’ She paused. ‘This contest is rarely about the fruit. It’s about hope and opportunity. So we choose someone who needs that the most.’

  ‘How would you know that?’

  ‘Because I know them. The blonde woman we saw first? Her husband just got diagnosed with cancer. They have two little boys. Winning this could mean they’d get the opportunity to supply some of the local businesses with fruit as well. That would help pay for his chemotherapy. And the brown-haired man we saw last has just opened his own organic wholefoods store. His parents don’t support him, and they’ve told him they’d give him a year before they kicked him out. Winning this could mean a successful business for him and perhaps the pride of his parents.’

  ‘How on earth do you know all this?’

  ‘I do some research on them, and invite them over to the castle for a celebratory dinner before the contest.’

  ‘And they haven’t picked up yet that the most down-on-their-luck contestant wins?’

  ‘Oh, it’s never clear. Not when everyone has such delicious fruits and I have very careful, serious discussions with my co-judges.’ She smiled at him, and then sobered when she saw the look on his face. ‘What?’

  ‘I’m just...amazed.’ He shook his head and then looked out to the vines in front of them. ‘You put so much...thought into running your kingdom. Into your people.’

  ‘It’s part of the job,’ she said, uncomfortable with the praise.

  ‘It should be,’ he agreed. ‘But it isn’t always.’ He was silent for a moment. ‘And you’ve sacrificed so much for them.’

  ‘No more than you have.’

  It was tempting, so very tempting, to tell him that he—they—had been a part of what she’d sacrificed. And that some days she regretted it more than anything else in her life. That sometimes, like their situation now, she resented it for turning her life into something she hadn’t anticipated and was very sure she didn’t want.

  ‘No, definitely more than I have.’ He looked at her. ‘I’ve spent most of my time as a king trying to live up to my father’s name. To my grandfather’s legacy. And here you are, creating your own legacy.’

  ‘You’re making me sound much better than I actually am,’ she told him. ‘I’ve done the things I’ve had to, Xavier. That doesn’t mean I wanted to do them, or that I was okay with doing them.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like this.’ She gestured between them. ‘Do you think I enjoy sacrificing my own sanity to protect my kingdom?’

  ‘Are you saying I make you insane?’

  ‘I’m saying that this entire situation is enough to make the world’s sanest person insane. Don’t tell me you don’t feel it, too.’

  ‘No, I do,’ he answered quietly. ‘But I’m glad for it. For this opportunity to make up for the mistakes I’ve made, and to create my own legacy.’ He paused. ‘I hope some day my people will see that I did this for them, and they’ll remember me for it.’

  ‘What are these mistakes you’re talking about, Xavier? You keep referring to them, but you can’t tell me what they are.’

  ‘I don’t want to tell you what they are,’ he corrected, and she felt her eyes widen.

  ‘No, of course not.’ It stung, but she wouldn’t let him see that. ‘So, we decide on the winner now. I’ll put the ring on before we go back, and then we announce the winner, offer our congratulations, and then make the special announcement of our engagement.’

  ‘I moved on, Leyna,’ he said instead of answering her. ‘We both did. We’re not the people who confided in each other as teenagers. Not any more.’

  ‘You say that as though I’m not reminded of it every moment I spend with you.’ The words came out less angry than she’d thought they would, tinged with a sadness she saw he’d heard, too.

  ‘Why did you do it?’ he asked, and she saw the Xavier she’d hurt that day so long ago. ‘The real reason, not the lie you told me.’

  ‘It wasn’t—’ She broke off when she saw his face. Sighed. ‘It wasn’t entirely a lie.’

  ‘Okay.’ His eyes were deadly serious. ‘So tell me why you did it.’

  ‘You told me you weren’t able to function properly after Erika died.’ It pained her to bring it up, but it was the only way to make him understand. ‘Well, that’s why. I couldn’t not function, for Aidara’s sake.’

  ‘And you couldn’t function with me by your side?’

  ‘No, I couldn’t,’ she said. ‘All those things my grandmother told me? The things your parents told you? I realised they were true. Our friendship—and then more than just a friendship—was a distraction. I thought about you constantly, and I kept thinking about...about how they were right. About how I was spending more time thinking about you than I was about my kingdom.’

  She paused,
her heart pounding at what she’d just said. But she couldn’t seem to stop.

  ‘I kept waiting for that to be the reason I failed at my duties. And I thought if I kept thinking that, some day I would fail and I would blame you.’ She took a breath. ‘It was better that I broke up with you. That I didn’t blame you for any of it. And that way I could stop anticipating that I would lose you, too. And I could finally let go of that debilitating fear.’

  Chapter Nine

  ‘WE HAVE TO decide a winner soon,’ Leyna said immediately after sending his thoughts into disarray with her words. She was no longer looking at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop looking at her. Not if there was a chance her face would give away any more clues to her thinking.

  ‘Is that true? Are those the real reasons?’

  ‘Xavier, please,’ she whispered, the plea piercing straight through his heart. ‘I’m trying to...focus on what we need to do.’

  ‘No, you’re avoiding a conversation we should have had a long time ago.’ Despite the effect her pleading had on him, he couldn’t just let it go. Perhaps because of the stirring of anger he felt building in his chest.

  ‘And maybe we would have had that conversation, Xavier, if you hadn’t just given up on us so completely.’

  ‘You’re blaming me for this?’

  ‘Yes, I think I am.’ Anger had splashed her cheeks with colour. ‘Do you know what that time in my life was like for me?’ She didn’t wait for an answer. ‘From the moment Carlos called me ‘Your Majesty’ my life started unravelling. I lost my father and then my mother, and I kept expecting you to leave me, too. I kept waiting for the warnings my grandmother had given me to play out. I kept waiting to fail. The fear of it stayed with me in every single thing I did, and I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe without it choking me.’

  Her chest heaved and he wanted to take a step forward and tell her to take it easy. To calm down. But her words paralysed him.

  ‘I thought I would get ahead of it and break it off with you. I wanted to be free of that sickening anticipation. I told you I didn’t love you but, damn it, I never expected you to believe it.’