From Ashes To Flames

by A. M. Hargrove

  His stern voice made me flinch.

  I nodded. “You had to tell that family someone they loved died.” And I sobbed some more. Just stop already, you big crybaby.

  He rubbed his jaw where the sexy scruff grew. Sexy scruff? What the hell. The man was old enough to be my dad. Okay, he wasn’t that old. Our moms were besties so he couldn’t be ancient. But I needed to find out. I couldn’t be thinking someone was hot and them being my dad’s age. That was just creepy and gross.

  “How old are you?”

  He blinked twice. “Forty-one. Why?”

  “Jesus, you’re old.” I sniffed away the remnants of my crying jag.

  He huffed and glared down at me. “I’m not old. You twenty-somethings think everyone over the age of thirty-five is old. Just wait. It’ll be your turn one day.”

  “Yeah, but when I get to be that old, I’m going to be cool. Not stodgy and grumpy.”

  He grunted but didn’t say anything.

  “Is it hard?”

  “Is what hard?”

  He was so annoying. Didn’t he pay attention? “Can you not follow a conversation? Is it hard telling a family that?”

  “You know something? You’re aggravating as hell. I can follow a conversation just fine, but you jump all over the place like a damn jackrabbit. And yes, it’s extremely difficult. I despise it. It gets worse every time.”

  I crossed my arms and hugged myself, knees pulled to my chest. My heart banged at the thought of anyone having to do that. “I can’t imagine.”

  His voice was low when he said, “Don’t even try.”

  We were both silent, him standing and me sitting. I had trouble wrapping my head around what he’d had to do today. Finally, I decided it was time we moved on.

  “Are you gonna stand in here all night?” I stared at him like he was the lunatic.

  “You came in here first.” He stared right back at me,

  That was a small detail I’d forgotten. I stood and led the way into the kitchen.

  “You should know that I checked in on you and the kids throughout the day.”

  “Say what?” What was he talking about?

  “The cameras. Remember? It’s why I wanted you to have the cell phone? Which you should be paying more attention to while you work. I didn’t put them in here for nothing. And another thing … you shouldn’t judge people. And before you try to deny it, don’t bother.”

  He was right. I did judge him.

  “Right.” Now I felt positively stupid. And awful. And a total moron.

  His full sexy lips were pressed into a thin hard line. Then he added, “I knew you and the kids were fine. Polka dot likes you. You should also know she likes turkey sandwiches and played you on the peanut butter and jelly. She’s tricky like that.”

  I snapped my fingers. “That little bugger. I’m gonna get her.”

  “Care for some advice?”

  I tilted my head and thought for a second. “Sure.”

  “Don’t give her a choice. Just fix something and she’ll eat it. And stay clear of Aaron when you feed him.” He circled his finger in front of my stained shirt.

  “Yeah, I picked up on that right away. I was thinking I’m the one who needs the bib.”

  He laughed. A good hearty laugh. And it sounded better than us arguing.

  “Hey, can we have a truce?” I held out my hand and he took it. His was warm and firm when he shook it. It felt … nice. I reluctantly pulled it away and felt my cheeks flush with heat.

  “You were good with the kids. Much better than I expected.”

  That sort of pricked me in the wrong way. It’s not like I’m incapable of doing anything. “Well, they’re not the monsters I imagined them to be, either.”

  He scowled for a second then said, “I won’t lie. I have stiff expectations.”

  My brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t be ordering me around anymore,” he snapped.

  “Right, but I speak my mind and if I see something that isn’t right, I won’t sit by silently.”

  “Fine, but next time, I would prefer if you’d ask first before plowing into me like a howitzer and blowing me to smithereens.”

  I had no words because he was right, so I only nodded. I never asked or gave him a chance to explain, which wasn’t fair at all. Assuming was so wrong. I needed to work on that. Actually, I needed to work on a lot of things, but we weren’t going there.

  “I also have some guidelines about their schedules, but you had them to bed early, so that’s good. If they stay up too late, it ruins the following day for them. And Aaron needs his naps on schedule.” He tapped the counter for emphasis. “I have everything written down for you on a couple of spreadsheets. Of course, when Kinsley is at school, you’re one on one with Aaron. Don’t leave him in the swing all day. I demand better care for him than that. He requires stimulation but also needs to learn to entertain himself. So, picking him up constantly, spoiling him, isn’t good either.”

  My head spun with all of this. “I’ll be honest. You’re totally confusing me. Pick him up, don’t pick him up.”

  “It’s all on the schedule. A good balance is what it’s about. Just check it if you have a question.”

  Jeez, the guy’s a schedule Nazi. “Kinsley did say they weren’t allowed too many snacks.”

  He nodded. “That’s correct. I don’t want them filling up with sugary crap. Fruits and vegetables are fine but not too close to meals.”

  “Got it. I saw all the fruits and vegetables in the fridge.”

  “Yes. Just be aware that Aaron can’t chew everything yet. So be careful with what you feed him.”

  “Right. I checked with my mom about some of that today.”

  Then he showed me where the household credit card was for groceries and other things the kids might need. “If an emergency should arise, such as one of them gets injured and needs to go to the doctor, text me immediately along with 911 in the text. If I don’t call you back right away, it means I’m doing a procedure and don’t have my phone on me. Call my mother. Her number’s in your phone too. She’ll know what to do.”

  “What if it’s just a fever or something that’s not an emergency?”

  “Text me and let me know. If I don’t answer, call my mom.”

  “Okay.”

  “Any other questions?”

  There weren’t any at that time and I told him so. “I’ll probably have some come up later, so I’ll let you know then.”

  “The kids wake up early due to my schedule. I’m usually out of here by seven.”

  “Okay.”

  “Aaron will be the first with a dirty diaper, so be ready for that. I work out every morning, so I won’t be around.”

  “Work out?”

  “Yes. There’s a gym downstairs.”

  Gosh. It’s a wonder his kids ever see him. “I see.”

  He eyed me for a second. “There’s a treadmill down there if you’re interested.”

  “Gee, thanks.” Was he telling me I needed to work out? I did a quick glance down at my thighs and squished my butt cheeks together, so they got a little work out as I stood there.

  “Kinsley needs to be at school by eight. You’ll have a busy morning. I’m off to bed.”

  “Right then.” I eyeballed him as he walked away. From behind he looked pretty damn good with that tight ass of his. Too bad he was an old geezer. And damn the dude had a temper. Granted, I did go off on him like a cannon. But shit, how was I to know one of his patients had died? Ugh, I can’t even … How do doctors do that? I shuddered at the thought. Who in their right minds would want that job?

  I climbed the steps and walked past the kids’ rooms. The temptation to peek in was great, but I held back. And then I remembered I had the cameras. I went and got ready for bed. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I did some more unpacking and then climbed into bed and turned on the phone. It only took a bit to figure out how to use that app. It was super easy. I picked each r
oom where a camera was located and selected it to see. It was pretty fucking amazing this technology even existed. When I got to Kinsley’s room, I saw her sleeping like a log, all spread out on her bed. Then I clicked on the camera in Aaron’s room and was surprised to see Dr. West standing next to his crib. He just stared at the baby for minutes on end. Suddenly he dropped down into a crouch with his head in his hands. He appeared to be trembling. Was he crying? I had to be mistaken. Maybe he had a migraine or something, the way his hands furrowed in his hair. Should I go and check on him? I felt like I was spying though. After a moment, he got up and walked out. I noticed his face as he passed the camera and even though the picture was black and white, I recognized utter despair when I saw it. It had been there after catching my boyfriend fucking my best friend. But why would he look like that after watching Aaron? Was something wrong with the baby?

  Switching off the app, I made a phone call.

  “Hello?”

  “Mom, what the hell is going on?”

  “Marin? Whatever do you mean?”

  “You know damn well what I mean. Dr. West. What’s wrong with him? Or the baby? I just saw him on the camera.”

  “Camera? What are you talking about?”

  “He has cameras everywhere in this house. To watch the kids. Anyway, he bought me a phone so I can too, but I just checked on the kids, and he was in the baby’s room and I saw him crying.”

  “I don’t know. Paige never mentioned anything about it.”

  “Well, something’s up.”

  “Hmm. I can ask.”

  “No! Then he’ll know I was spying.”

  “You weren’t spying. Were you?”

  “No! I was checking on the kids like I’m supposed to.”

  “Then ask him.”

  “No! I can’t do that. He’ll yell at me. He’s such a grouch.”

  “Grey? He’s not a grouch. He’s only trying to get over everything.”

  “Mom, he’s a grouch. Dr. Grouch. He’s a grumpy old man.”

  Mom laughed at me.

  “Marin, the man’s hardly old.”

  “He is too. He’s in his forties. That’s old.”

  “Oh, honey, just wait. You’ll be there before you know it.”

  What was she saying? “Seriously? I’m only twenty-six, Mom. Or have you forgotten?”

  “No, I haven’t forgotten. Your father reminds me every day.”

  “I’m sure he does. Well, I have to go. I’ll be up at the butt crack of dawn.”

  She laughed again. “Welcome back to the real world. Your father will be thrilled.”

  “Night, Mom. I love you.”

  “Love you too, dear. I’ll talk to Paige.”

  “Don’t you dare mention a thing about this.”

  “I won’t.”

  We ended the call, but Dr. Grouch stayed on my mind for far too long that night. The next day was going to be very long for me. I hadn’t worked this hard since my days at the magazine. Dr. Grouch would probably find all sorts of issues with my nannying.

  Chapter Eight

  Greydon

  * * *

  As I was headed downstairs for my morning workout I heard Aaron crying. Marin was still asleep. I handled his diaper changing, which was what I’d hired her to do. I had to pound on her door several times to wake her up. It annoyed me that she hadn’t heard him.

  “Marin. Wake up.” Jesus, she was supposed to take care of the kids and now I had to wake her lazy ass up.

  “Uh, I’m up now,” I heard her mumble.

  “You should’ve set an alarm. Aaron needed your attention. Couldn’t you hear him on the monitor? I’m too busy for this, which was why I hired you.”

  “Coming.”

  I set Aaron back in his crib since he’d stopped crying and carried on. I’d check on her in a couple of minutes to make sure she actually got out of bed. When I got to the treadmill, the app showed her changing Aaron’s diaper. I shook my head because it had to have been obvious it didn’t require changing. He was already cooing. I had to let this go. Satisfied all was in order, I cranked up the treadmill, setting the pace at a seven and a half minute mile. I needed to do about forty minutes and then hit the weights. Not working out yesterday had fucked with my emotions and I couldn’t have another day like that. Not to mention, the patient I lost took its toll, so this work out was a necessity.

  When my forty minutes were up, I was dripping. After guzzling down some water I did my usual bench and shoulder presses, dips, curls, flies, and abs workout. I added some leg presses today, although my legs were shot from the run. My muscles were like jelly when I trudged upstairs to the kitchen to make a recovery protein shake.

  Marin was in there with the kids. Polka dot was dressed and ready for school.

  “Daddy, you look like you played in the rain.”

  “I do?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Good because I’m gonna give you a big ole hug.”

  “Ewww no. You’re stinky.” She pinched her nose.

  I pretended to grab her and she let out a gigantic squeal. She hopped off her chair and ran around the table as I chased her. Once I caught her, I tossed her into the air, holding her away from me. “Should I, or shouldn’t I?” I asked.

  “Nooooo!” she squealed again.

  I laughed and set her down.

  Aaron smacked his hands on his high chair and I patted his head before I went to make my shake.

  “Morning,” I said to Marin.

  “Good morning. Looks like you went at it pretty hard.”

  “Yeah. I generally start Mondays out like this.”

  She carried a bowl of oatmeal to Kinsley and came back for another for Aaron. Then she sat down to feed him. I observed her for a minute before I fixed my own breakfast.

  Aaron was banging his fists and grinning and Kinsley tried to explain to Marin that she liked Fruity O’s the best.

  “You know, Marnie, Fruity O’s are better for you.”

  Her use of the name, Marnie, had me hiding a chuckle.

  “No, they aren’t. They’re filled with sugar. Oatmeal is best.”

  “But the TV says they’re good.”

  “Of course it does. Do you know why?”

  “Yep. Because they’re good.”

  Marin shook her head. “No, because it’s a commercial and they’re trying to sell more.”

  Kinsley’s brow creased. “Are they lying? Cuz lying’s bad.”

  “They’re not exactly lying. They’re just not telling you everything about the product.”

  “What’s the product?”

  “The product is Fruity O’s. It does have nutritional value, but it also has lots of sugar which isn’t good for you.”

  “But Marnie, it tastes good.”

  “Doesn’t oatmeal taste good?”

  “Yeah, when you put lots of sugar on it.”

  I swallowed back a laugh. Polka dot was persistent. Marin had her hands full. Aaron banged his fists again and she shoved another spoonful of the gooey stuff into his mouth. He grinned.

  “See, Aaron likes it.”

  “He doesn’t count. He likes mush too and it’s icky.”

  “Okay, short stuff, I give up.”

  “What’s a short stop?”

  “I called you short stuff, not short stop, but … a short stop is a position in baseball. Do you know what baseball is?”

  “Yep. Daddy watches it on TV. It’s a dumb game.”

  Marin sat straight up in her chair and tapped Kinsley on the arm. “Well, I figured you were a smart girl.”

  “I am a smart girl. Daddy says so.” That earned me quite the reproachful look.

  “A smart girl wouldn’t have called baseball a dumb game.”

  “How come?”

  “Because baseball involves lots of strategy.”

  “What’s stragety?”

  Marin laughed at the way Kinsley pronounced the word and corrected her. Then she checked the time and said, “We have to get a mov
e on here, short stuff. Finish eating and stop asking me so many questions. I’ll explain what strategy is on the way to school. Your oatmeal is getting cold.”

  “Okaaaay.”

  I had to admit, that funky looking woman had a way with my daughter. Kinsley seemed to have taken to her and Marin was comfortable with both kids. But right as I finished that thought, Aaron fired a shot at her, covering her shirt with a healthy dose of oatmeal. Kinsley exploded in laughter.

  “You forgot about that,” Kinsley said.

  I walked over and handed Marin a towel to which she smiled her thanks. “Yeah, I sure did.” Marin dabbed at her shirt, wiping the goop off.

  “You need to angle yourself sort of behind him,” I suggested. “I think he’s in early training to become a marksman.”

  “Thanks for the advice,” she said.

  I drank my protein shake and headed upstairs to shower. By the time I came back down, the house was empty. I was more than a little disappointed I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to my daughter. I made a mental note to let Marin know that was one of my requirements.

  My day consisted of nothing unusual other than my appointment with the psychiatrist, Mike Schellburg, who I was seeing at the end of the day.

  When I got there, we started out with the usual how’s it going.

  And then I told him of my breakdown in Aaron’s room last night.

  “How bad was it?” he asked.

  “Bad enough to bring me to my knees. I cried like a damn baby at the side of his crib. I couldn’t stop staring at him. He’s such a beautiful baby, Mike. And I love that boy. My heart … It’s so difficult. He’s the best baby. Better than Kinsley ever was at that age. Happy all the time. You should see him.” I brushed away an errant tear. At least this was one place I didn’t feel ashamed when a tear or two leaked out of my eyes.

  “What are you going to do about it, Grey?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “What do you want to do about it?”

  Leaning forward, I rested my elbows on my knees. “I don’t know. If I find out the truth, then what do I do if Aaron’s not mine?”

  “I think you know the answer to that.”